[EXPRESSO] Fantasy Island (2020) | Horror Spice

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So this is basically a horror reimagining of a 70’s/80’s tv series, one i’ve never even heard before i stumbled upon the listing of this movie, but i guess if children shows like The Banana Splits can get remade as horror movies, it’s fair game for everybody.

The premise centers around the eponymous, remote tropical island, where the mystical Mr. Roarke (Michael Peña) makes the most secret dreams of his guests come true. But as the fantasies morph into nightmares, the captive guests have to solve to mystery of the island if they want to escape it, and the true reason they were all brought there.

I frankly don’t know or care if this is a “needed” or random remake of the source material, but even so, i could see this movie working even without the horror elements, which at times they do spice things up a bit, but on other occasions are so tacked on and clichè to the point of being just laughable, just thrown together into the supernatural thriller-drama cauldron, using the premise to link together scenes from different genres (a bit of Saw, a bit of war movie, a bit of heist movie, a family drama) in a coherent way.

And it works, it’s what i would classify as “movie meatloaf”, but it’s entertaining, fairly well acted, has decent characters, but it should (and could) have been shorter, as the last act drags on by using horror cliches, and it’s odd how mostly bloodless it is for a horror movie, not that this one actually needed Braindead/Dead Alive levels of gore, or horror elements to begin with. It’s not a case of “neutering for the sake of PG-13”, it just a story that could have done without being horror “flavored” and not lose much.

It’s alright.

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[EXPRESSO] Underwater (2020) |Ocean Walk In The Dark

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“It’s like Aliens, but”… you probably have heard these words more times than you wish, and i remember a similar situation some years ago, when the sci-fi horror thriller Life (starring Jack Gyllenhaal) came out, a good movie, but also one that fully deserved that comparison for actually having a similar plot focused on a crew trying to survive a killer alien lifeform in space.

Viceversa, i understand why many made this comparison again for William Eubank’s new movie, Underwater, because despite the completely opposite setting, it fits the typical sci-fi horror- thriller formula like a glove, and you can effectively swap out “deep space” for “ocean’s abyssus abyssum” without having to change pretty much anything.

The plot sees a deep-sea mining facility being unexpectedly torn apart by an unknown force, with the few survivors in the structure uniting in order to find a way to another outpost, in the hope of finding escape pods before the main drill’s nuclear core erupts, but as they venture into the depths, they also find horrible and vicious creatures lying in wait and quite ready to pick them off, if faulty equipment and the dangerous living conditions didn’t already…

The director of The Signal (the one from 2014 with Lawrence Fishburne, not the other one) here didn’t feel like reinventing anything or playing around with the genre, but then again it becomes pretty clear the intention was just to make a fun sci-fi horror thriller (not that advertising was deceptive, quite the contrary), one i’m glad it’s set underwater instead of space after all.

And on this regard, the movie delivers, with good cinematography, decent atmosphere, good creature design, decent characters, and a satysfing finale. Story is sadly derivative as it gets, but despite this, i’d quite entertaining, and worth a watch.

 

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Dorohedoro 8-Bit Game ~Living Dead Day Survivor (Browser) [REVIEW]

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So yeah, we have a Dorohedoro videogame, finally…. kinda.

It’s a free browser game available on the official site for a limited time, and it’s a basically a NES style beat em up taking place – as the title explicits – during the Living Dead Day (recently depicted in the third episode of the anime series), an annual event in Dorohedoro’s world where the dead rise, and people kill them to obtain plates that can be exchanged for prizes, with food stands and stuff like it’s a festival.

Dorohedoro 8-bit Game Living Dead Day Survivor cayman and nikaido

Being it basically just an ad for the series (one with impending disappearance), i’m not gonna complain about it being basically a 5 minutes affair, but the pixel art and chiptune theme are well done, gameplay is what you’d expect from old school beat em up: never let enemies gang on you from both sides, use items, master the jumping kick, etc. You can play as either Cayman or Nikaido (they control and fight the same), and there’s local multiplayer, even if you’d have to huddle around the same keyboard.

The website and instructions are in japanese, but you can easily figure controls out anyway, so i’d recommend you try it before it vanishes from the web. I still haven’t seen the anime series (besides a couple clips), but i strongly recommend Dorohedoro anyway, one of my favourite series of all time.

 

The Island Of Giant Insects MOVIE (2020) [REVIEW] Shlock Stock Drop

The Island Of Giant Insects MOVIE 2020

In case you haven’t seen my review of the OVA, yeah, i found out after writing the review that the OVA was just an edited down version of the movie, also called The Island Of Giant Insects, so in retrospect it’s no wonder that was such a choppy mess, one that was made just for marketing purposes, and now is a completely pointless product.

For sake of completition, i feel compelled to witness myself – in full this time – the horrors in The Island Of Giant Insects. Continua a leggere “The Island Of Giant Insects MOVIE (2020) [REVIEW] Shlock Stock Drop”

The Island Of Giant Insects OVA (2019) [REVIEW] | Garbage Island Recut

The Island Of Giant Insects 2019 OVA

After being delayed and ultimately coming out last year, The Island Of Giant Insects it’s finally available as a movie on Crunchyroll, even in my region, i’ve heard it’s terrible, so yeah, i’m in, let’s review it… not yet.

Honestly, i kinda forgot this was a thing, i red announcements of this series coming soon in 2018, but i forgot and i didn’t knew they actually released it in 2019… as an OVA, guess that “series” plan fell through along the way, and they ultimately went with an OVA and now a full lenght feature.

I would have skipped it, but in response to criticism, the producer said it’s basically the prologue for a feauture length anime film project… it was a lie, i found out just before publishing that it’s just the movie edited to 22 minutes, i should have trusted my gut and avoid it all together, but since the review was already finished (and this new info doesn’t really change any of my complaints) i did some minor edits, and here it goes!
Continua a leggere “The Island Of Giant Insects OVA (2019) [REVIEW] | Garbage Island Recut”

Krampus: Unleashed (2016) [REVIEW] | ..Of The Oooolll’ West

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Before we tackle Krampus 2: The Devil Returns, let’s quickly go over another effort from Robert Conway after Krampus: The Reckoning, with the first – and as far as i know, only – Krampus to start off with “the year was 1898 and the West was still wild”.

That’s a new one. Continua a leggere “Krampus: Unleashed (2016) [REVIEW] | ..Of The Oooolll’ West”

Krampus: The Reckoning (2015) [REVIEW] | Children Of The Krampus

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What happens when you wanna cash-in by exploiting the latest fad in the christmas horror subgenre, but you don’t have enough time in order to write it from scratch and push it out of the door in order to maximize exposure? Continua a leggere “Krampus: The Reckoning (2015) [REVIEW] | Children Of The Krampus”

Krampus: The Christmas Devil (2013) [REVIEW] | Krampus Rip My Flesh

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While most people are aware of Michael Dougherty’s Krampus movie from 2015, it wasn’t the first horror movie about the mythological figure of the Krampus, which became a horror sub-sub-genre from the early 2010’s onwards, and i guess you could say Jason Hull’s 2013 movie kickstarted this “krampusxploitation” movement, the Krampus itself had been subject of some tv series episodes, but not a feature lenght film. Continua a leggere “Krampus: The Christmas Devil (2013) [REVIEW] | Krampus Rip My Flesh”

Oneechanbara 2 / Zombie Hunters 2 PS2 [REVIEW] | Exploitation Time Again

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As promised, to celebrate the release of Oneechanbara Origins this 5th of December, here’s the review of the second Oneechanbara title, specifically the revision/upgrade The Oneechampon: The Onechan 2 Special Chapter, released in Europe as Zombie Hunters 2 (Zombie Hunters being the upgraded/revised version of the first Oneechanbara game), the vanilla version of Oneechanbara 2 never left Japan at all.

Yeah, once again, it was never released in the U.S., was released in PAL territories under a budget label, but there aren’t many copies around, so nowadays commands quite a lot of cash on the second hand market, not as rare and pricey as Kuon for PS2, but still, 60/70 bucks for this (i found it at a convention booth for 15 bucks, otherwise i wouldn’t have bothered) is a frigging lot, so much it’s a lot cheaper to just buy the japanese version. Or just emulate it, that’s an option. Continua a leggere “Oneechanbara 2 / Zombie Hunters 2 PS2 [REVIEW] | Exploitation Time Again”

Krampusploitation is a-coming

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This time i decided to make myself a present by not watching & reviewing another crappy krampus or christmas horror movie, so instead i’m reviewing (re-reviewing, i’ve done them for the italian blog years ago, but i’ve rewritten them from scratch) 4 Krampus themed/titled movies, all terrible.

If you wanna watch something good about the “Christmas Devil”, i recommend Rare Exports and Michael Dougherty’s Krampus, definitely not the ones you’re gonna see reviewed in the coming days.

And an Expresso review of Star Wars: The Rise Of Skywalker is coming next week, gonna get that done as soon as possible, i don’t particularly care, but it’s kinda an obligation, i feel, since i do what i do. Oh well.