[EXPRESSO] Here After – L’Aldilà (2024) | Facade Of Horror

I’ll admit i watched this only because its part of a national promotion on italian and european films, so the ticket was real cheap, and it’s an italian horror film, i just gotta give them a shot, regardless.

The plot concerns a mute teenage girl skilled in piano, Robin, as one day has an accident leading to her having a pre-death experience, as against all odds she comes back, only for her mother to notice that something isn’t right, as she worries someone else might be in there.

An increansingly worrysome and creepy set of events surrounding Robin force her mother, Claire, to confront her own past experience that marked their lives forever.

It’s not an ugly film, the Rome setting is nice and cinematography is decent, it’s a professionally put together film with mostly decent acting, but it’s also kinda deceiftul, since it’s actually a supernatural drama masking itself as both a possession/exorcism film and something in the vein in Babadook, parading some of the elements from both around to sell the facade.

And it is a facade because the movie is neither of the two, since it straddles the line but ultimately just stays there, deciding on nothing all the way through, committing to both in idea but not reality, so it’s no surprise the final result it’s an insipid compromise that satisfies no one, with a positive ending that feels more like a convenient way to avoid addressing the point of some previous scenes.

But the kicker is that, it’s also ungodly boring, so cliched it hurts and makes it an utterly predictable drag all the way through, making its 90 minutes runtime feel bloated, even more when it doesn’t trust the audience, so it has to spell out what else everyone already correctly predicted hours ago.

[EXPRESSO] Immaculate (2024) | Mary on a cross

I’ll be honest, i kinda forgot this was even gonna be released here, i guess that counts as a “surprise” summer horror release, something to watch before M. Night’s Trap comes out in August, it’s another religious themed horror film, as in it’s about nuns without guns and catholicism and such.

This one is about a young religious woman that moves from Detroit to a rural convent Italy in order to take the votes and become a nun, Cecilia, and is welcomed quite warmly. A bit too warmly, she sees some weird stuff, then she becomes miracolously pregnant (it’s called “immaculate”, it’s not really a spoiler), and then things becomes even weirder and more suspicious, as dark secrets arise and all the hubba you can honestly predict from a movie like this.

So, the short version is that this is – by accident or not, i’ll let you pick because it doesn’t actually matter too much in the end – a lesser version of the Omen prequel that released last year, The First Omen, but this actually amounts to a decent flick, in spite of the aforementioned “similarities” and overall predictable ensemble of situations, events, reveals and twists, even when they’re not pulled straight from the Omen series. Characters fair about as much, with the doe eyed soon-to-be-nun, the strange mother superiors, the crazy old nuns that reside there as the place there is kind of a hospice..

By and large, the concoction here should be just mediocre, professionally shot and produced, but all already been done (and then done again some more) and better, yet the reveal is kinda interesting in the variation/spin it does, there are some decent-to-good practical gore effects, and overall the execution elevates it to being decent, with some extra points for the ballsy ending.

[EXPRESSO] A Quiet Place: Day One (2024) | The Cat Will Inherit The Earth

The acclaimed horror series about an alien invasion of sound-receptive creatures continues…. as it actually does not, by playing the classic “prequel” card, which is often a double edged sword, as it can actually expand upon the material or just feel like a stop-gap “filler” release.

In this case – as the title lays out – we go back to the very first day of the invasion, breaking out in New York, and we follow a terminal cancer-diagnosed woman (and her support cat) brought with the rest of the hospice to see a show, when suddendly vicious alien monsters fall from the skies and rampage, blind as bats but immediatly snapping in chase of of any loud noise…

In many ways, there’s little to say about A Quiet Place Day One that couldn’t/hasn’t already been discussed plenty about the previous movies, it doesn’t add really much “lore”, it just has some characters that will show up in the mainline films, but in this case it’s actually a good thing, as we have another good horror thriller with great suspence, a relatively novel twist on the monsters, excellent effects, good characters, and most importantly the ability to keep things simple at heart but far from boring, without bogging down the dread by forcing a mythos, for example.

Honestly i feel the “Day One/Origin” spin works well enough, i’m quite okay with it following mostly new people, as the “cancer-not-the-sign woman” is actually a pretty good main character, relatable, and while there’s nothing new or mindblowing added to the series, the execution it’s still quite good enough to make for a great film.

It’s a rare case when the “if not broken, don’t fix it” approach does actually still pay off, with the only little wart being the humdrum, shoehorned dream sequence.

[EXPRESSO] The Animal Kingdom (2023) | Goo goo g’ joob

The Animal Kingdom is a movie of many things, as it has superhero-ish and body horror elements, but it’s actually a fresh thriller-coming of age French movie from director Thomas Cailley, about a nearby future where a bizarre disease start turning people into animal-human hybrids – called “critters” by the populace – needing to control and herd them into contaiment facilities.

The plot sees a teen, Emilè, and his dad, a cook, move out to a small town in order to stay closer where Emile’s mother is being treated for her mutation, obviously keeping it a secret from everyone they met, a task that becomes harder as Emile’s mom, after an accident with the car trasporting them, escapes in the surrounding wooded area, alongside other “critters”, and nearly impossible as Emile himself notices he starts to mutate, with newfound fur, claws, and other bodily alterations..

Despite the Island Of Dr. Moreau-like premise, it’s mostly a thriller and a coming of age film, as Emile matures and goes through more than the usual teen changes, makes friends, and how the world around him reacts in various forms to these mutated “kemono people”, serving the expected but still well tackled themes of racism, tolerance, love, and mostly about freedom.

And yet, even if it seems like The Animal Kingdom it’s trying to juggle too many elements at once, the final result is quite interesting, as it manages to handle the themes and ideas very well, giving them a fresh spin, one that works by putting at the forefront the well characterized father-son duo and the drama that follows from the situation, harvesting it to end up on an empowering and understanding, almost tender note.

Even better, the effects are honestly great.

A nice surprise, one i recommend checking out whenever you can.

[EXPRESSO] Under Paris (2024) | Enviro-Jaws

A french Netflix shark movie, released now, it doesn’t look like a Mark Polonia film, yeah, i’ll bite.

Though i’m now convinced the genre will never leave the nursery waters of Jaws, since we still get stuff like a recalcitrant douchy mayor in the plot… though this time is because they plan to host the Triathlon in the Seine river, and there’s a good reason this is a tradition.

Speaking of which, the premise sound like if Sharks In Venice happened in France and tried to be more realistic… it’s not really, it’s actually a shark finding its way into the Seine river, the same shark that massacred the crew of an enviromental protection squad, and despite her past she intervenes to see that the shark is saved from its new unplanned habitat she’s not made for, and to also avoid the same carnage happening once again.

It has the expected horror moments or situations, but it leans a lot more into being a thriller and its enviromental message, which is kinda to be expected since the movie goes for realism, it ain’t trying to be The Meg or even The Reef, and it’s not like it mishandles its own message or themes… it’s just a bit slow moving, even if it uses that time to make the characters more sympathetic and manages that, they simply aren’t good enough to completely offset the pacing issues.

The final act does really pick up “the slack” in this regard, and overall, Under Paris it’s decent, it plays well its modern enviromentalist angle, the effects are quite good… sometimes, it’s just a bit too procedural, the pace is kinda slow until the very end to be proper involving, so it ends up feeling longer than it’s below 2 hours runtime.

Nice ending, though.

[EXPRESSO] Abigail (2024) | A particular set of vampire skills

Abigail poses an intriguing premise, asking what if a kidnapping went south because the gang did not known they were abducting a child vampire, heck, even worse, the daughter of Dracula, before they retired to an unknown villa as they wait for the ransom money?

The result it’s actually quite interesting as the strong premise is taken to some unique degrees since there’s a Tarantino-esque (or Tatantino-adjacent) approach to relationship these criminals have with each other while waiting for the ransom to be paid, and the already strong vibes of Dusk Until Dawn are empowered by the very splattery and over the top amounts of high budget, exploitation levels of gore on display, and the playful element is further strengthened by how it feels almost like a reverse Home Alone, as the child vampire literally plays with them before going for a brutal, sadistic kill, after making the kidnappers feel like they’re in control.

Also, it plays around with the old vampire lore weaknesses for some laughs but also to depict vampires not so much refined monsters but as more cunning feral abominations always hungry for blood, yet somehow manages to have some emotional moments, some strange empathy, it’s a surprisingly strong pastiche that is able to draw nicely from its obvious inspirations but also work on its own and being a fun horror comedy romp that delivers fully on the idea and be hugely entertaining from beginning to end, with a really good cast that includes Kevin Durand and also Giancarlo Esposito (of Far Cry 6 fame) in a minor but still welcome role.

It’s a shame people might sleep on it, because it’s still worth watching even if the trailers are not taking any chance with subtlety and sorta spoiling it….which i kinda understand but kinda not.

[EXPRESSO] Tarot (2024) | S. Link RANK UP

It’s that “almost summer” period, so why not indulge in the new teen horror out in theathers, Tarot?

No oujia boards, no dolls, this time the teens ® will fail to learn that doing things when told NOT do those things is a recipe for manburger massacre town… even with cards. Tarot cards, obviously.

The premise sees a group of friends breaking the unspoken sacred rule about Tarot cards, as in one must not use another’s cards. In doing so they release a malignant force hidden in the cursed cards and they will have to fight for their life in what it sounds more and more like a Final Destination script rewritten at the last week, despite being based on a 1992 novel called Horrorscope.

Surprisingly it doesn’t all takes place in the villa where they find the cursed deck, but otherwise it’s a familiar watch, bringing out all the stops and expected bits, like them having to contact an estranged individual that believes and is versed in the supernatural foe they’re trying to escape, which is nice since the lore of the movie about tarot cards and astrology isn’t gonna expose itself.

On the other hand it’s a nice little variation/take on the Final Destination shtick that uses the premise of tarot card, divination and astrology related beliefs as well as it could possibly can, the characters are stock but likeable, the idea using the Arcanas in order to evoke a small ensemble of monsters chasing their victims is actually quite fun and executed decently.

It’s also a bit PG-13-ier than expected on gore but i can forgive that and the final “asspull” because the film it’s kinda silly at heart, it doesn’t overstay its welcome, and even if largely predictable and formulaic, it’s honestly more enjoyable than expected.

[EXPRESSO] Civil War (2024) | FraKctured

I was disappointed by Garland’s previous (and winner for “most on the nose possible horror title”) film, MEN, and the trailer for Civil War really was so generic i could almost believe it was promoting a live action adaptation of Ubisoft’s Tom Clancy’s The Division 2’s, or whatever a big budget version of a “January 6 Simulator” without a Trump phrophecy orb would have looked like.

(then again, this is an issue A24 seems to have recently, see the trailer for The Zone Of Interest)

That aside, when i actually got to see the film in theathers, i was pleasantly surprised Garland didn’t “lost it”, so to speak, at all, as Civil War definitely deserves the critical “praise nugget” of punch packing and delivering, as you would with the subject matter.

The plot follows a couple of war journalists that, after surviving a suicide bombing attack while reporting in New York, they decide to accompany a mentor of theirs and a young girl that idolizes their work while travelling through an America torn apart by (yep) a civil war, as many states have split and factions formed, with the goal of interviewing the president, as he holes up in a contended Washington, and his forces slowly losing steam to the “Western Forces”…

It’s a bleak depiction of a fairly realistical future scenario where the many contraddictions and divisions in the American social stratum broke out from social media mudflinging into actual, literal, civil war, but the movie avoids any easy weaponizing and name calling by putting focus instead in the day-to-day ground reality and the routine atrocities witnessed and perpetrated.

And it’s an uncompromised vision because it denies itself comforting platitudes or hypothetical, naive resolutions, while sporting a stellar cast and being constantly engaging and entertaining on an immediate level.

[EXPRESSO] Monkey Man (2024) | Ramayana Revengeance

Dev Patel’s directorial debut, Monkey Man is a violent action thriller that it’s being sold as “indian John Wick”, which is both true as it does explain succintly the kind of movie you’re gonna see, but it’s not quite that.

Sure, it even acknlowedge John Wick is a film that exists diegetically, and there are some surface elements that are there almost to do a wink and a nod (a dog is involved at one point, for example), it’s pretty violent and graphic, but its more grounded and more akin to The Raid – as other have pointed out– which it’s also pretty good.

The plot sees the protagonist, Kid (played by Dev Patel), an anonymous man, becoming an avatar of justice and vengeance by donning a mask of Hanuman, a mythological monkey-man from the sacred indian epic, the Ramayana, after years of losing in a underground fight club, as he finds a way to avenge all the abuse he received and punish the corrupt men that were also behind the massacre of his family.

Aside from the protagonist actually having a more proper motivation and not starting out as an already legendary murder machine (so he does have to learn shit and plan out things more than which weapons to pick from a super armory), it also taps into Hindu mithology not just for the hell of it, but because the film is ultimately more about religious intolerance, the wide spread (and intertwined) corruption of police and religion in India, about literal, actual social justice.

Action it’s still a cathartic, bloody affair that feels quite visceral and fastifying, acting it’s excellent, you will barely feel its 2 hours runtime, so indeed, it’s a pretty damn good action thriller that’s inspired but not a copy of Keanu Reeves’ assassin extraordinarie.

[EXPRESSO] Imaginary (2024) | Polterbear

Soo…. Blumhouse recent cinematic output that isn’t M3GAN has been quite the slop drop, and Imaginary is not gonna change that, but to my slight surprise, this is not as outright shit as Night Swim, despite both feeling like “january horror film releases”.

This time we deal with the idea of “imaginary friends” conjured up by children, and we focus on a children book’s author, Jessica, married to a musician named Max, that move back into Jessica’s childhood home, with the daughters from Max’s previous marriage, Alice and Taylor, in tow.

As Jessica struggles to connect with her new stepdaughters, keeps having nightmare of her insane father, Ben, and her children book’s characters, Alice finds a teddy bear in the basement and becomes attached to it to a creepy degree, while an elderly neighbour called Gloria approaches Jessica and shares memories of her childhood, which Jessica doesn’t seem to remember at all….

It doesn’t sound original, and it isn’t, ticking every box in the “supernatural horror with children and dolls” category, and since it’s a Blumhouse release, there’s gotta be an overemphasis on jump scares over trying to build some creepy atmosphere, some decent acting lost to one-note characters, and this case a script with some promise that ultimately is bogged down by too much worldbuilding and “Blumhouse claptrap”, so to say.

BUT i’ll say that it does pull a decent little twist halfway through, and the last act shows some creatitivity to the visuals, some ideas that give some needed energy to the trite formula, and it helps elevating it from being a total, predictable and boring shitfest, thought a bit frustrating since there was some potential to it, but instead it’s just a passable, if middling and instantly forgettable supernatural horror film by the ol’ “House Of Blum”.