Oneechanbara: Bikini Samurai Squad X360 [REVIEW] | I Spindle On Your Grave

To celebrate the western release of Oneechanbara Origins coming October 14th, let’s look back at a couple more titles from the series (i have already reviewed the first 2 games, if you’re interested). Due to even more atrocious time costraints, i won’t be reviewing Oneechanbara Z or it’s sequel, not this year.

Continua a leggere “Oneechanbara: Bikini Samurai Squad X360 [REVIEW] | I Spindle On Your Grave”

[EXPRESSO] Brawl Brothers SNES | OH, Maize!

Played via the SNES – Nintendo Switch Online’s service.

Since i reviewed the last game in the Rushing Beat trilogy (as in, what became of it when Jaleco brought it over as The Peace Keepers), might as well do the second one, or – more appropriately – the western release of Rushing Beat Ran. But since it’s an emulated game, the old code for playing the japanese version works here as well.

And if you go to The Peace Keepers back to Brawl Brothers, you’ll find it hard to believe this one came before, because it’s noticeably the better game, right away it’s obvious, as absurd as it is.

That said, while the gameplay is decent, it apes Final Fight , yes, it also has 4 stages, each being twice as long than usual, long for the sake of it, without the enemy variety to fully sustain it (even for the era)… AND if the pacing wasn’t hampered by the maze-like sections. On paper they should spice things up, make the game less mindless, but they are just obtuse and stupid, as the level design doesn’t comunicate or hints at the “right way”, but its quite happy to still tell you to “GO=>” even when it will lead you into looping into the same ¾ nearly identical corridors.

So 15 minutes in and you will have to either keep trying to access the sewer’s doors in random order or go look up a guide if you wanna save some time. More baffling, this “maze crap”, while it bogs down an other decent – if flawed – game for the time, isn’t even a complete deal breaker, as it applies to just 2 specific sections of the whole game … and it wasn’t even in the Japanese version to begin with.

[EXPRESSO] The Peace Keepers SNES | The Suplexing Complex

Played via the SNES- Nintendo Switch Online’s service.

And i gotta say, despite Nintendo handling this service.. in a totally Nintendo way, sometimes there are surprises, like this forgotten SNES beat em up by Jaleco, actually the third of the Rushing Beat trilogy (which also includes Rival Turf and Brawl Brothers, the latter already released on the service), at least it was originally. I’d say this is a fairly obscure release, as i never even heard of its existence, even by name.

Playing it, i realized why it slipped into obscurity so easily. Just plain ol’ crap in a market – at the time – saturated with tons of titles like that, often better.

It’s hard to say The Peace Keepers is “bad”, as it pretty much plays like Final Fight (aside from a plot that throws movie clichès AND literary references into the pot, with mutants, villains named Iago and places called Ozymandias Island), but it’s not a fast paced affair. Also, the combination of slightly stiff controls and the screen never scrolling properly to the right leads to you dashing into enemies’ fists, not that the game really ever throws tons of foes at you. Which is “good” because each takes more hits than it should to go down in a game like this, making the throws (already a bit too efficient than punches, in a brawler) pretty much mandatory to get anywhere.

Branching paths leading to different bosses and endings are nice but aren’t enough to make the story seems more than a jumbled sequence of scenes. And for some stupid reason the game by default just has the sound effects and ambient noises, i almost went the whole game wondering if the game had no actual music. It does, but you have to change a setting in the options.

One Piece Pirate Warriors 4 – DLC Pack 2 PS4 [REVIEW]

Another season, another DLC Pack for Pirate Warriors 4, the game that keeps in making you wish there was more of it, not only for what concerns the roster of characters.

But i did that mini-essay for the review of the first Character Pack, and then a full-on editorial about the state of the musou sub-genre as a whole.

So i’m gonna keep this and the next one shorter.

This time the theme is “Worst Generation”, referring to 12 characters belonging to the so called “worst generation” of pirates (and Blackbeard), 11 of which come from nine top pirates crew, and firstly referred to as the Eleven Supernovas, the notable rising pirates from that generation that caught the attention of the World Nobles, and one of them is speculated will become the next Pirate King.

Compared to the first pack, this one was far easier to guess once the theme became clear, because most of the “Worst Generation” pirates were already playable in the base PW 4, some had been since Pirate Warriors 2, even.

Continua a leggere “One Piece Pirate Warriors 4 – DLC Pack 2 PS4 [REVIEW]”

True State Of Musou (As of 2020)

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Yeah, busting out this old gem.

I teased this with my comment on the Dynasty Warriors 20th Anniversary celebration video, and – as i said in the article – that was just the tipping point, the final push to make me write down an editorial on the musou genre/subgenre, one i had been ruminating about for a couple of years.

And to do that, i will have to start not from the beginning (i will eventually do a full retrospective, in time), but from the last numbered title in the main Warriors series, Dynasty Warriors, yes, Dynasty Warriors 9.

This is a long article, ready your beverage of choice. Continua a leggere “True State Of Musou (As of 2020)”

Dynasty Warriors 20th Anniversary video and the state of musou

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Today Koei released a compilation video to commemorate the series’ 20th anniversary, and while kinda nice, it’s also unadvertly very Koei, as they managed to cut content and recycle too much even in this occasion. XD

The trailer gives a brief compilation of cinematics and gameplay videos from all mainline Dynasty Warriors titles (and some brief logos appearances from the many spin-offs), and even the Empires and Xtreme Legends spin-off/expansions attached to those. All.. except the very first title in the series.

The real reason is because the first Dynasty Warriors wasn’t a musou, but a 1 on 1 fighter, and they clearly don’t consider it because Dynasty Warriors properly started in 2000 with what has been localized as “Dynasty Warriors 2”, but in Japan the first one was called simply “Sangoku Musou”, and to make more clear the change in direction, they called the second one “Shin Sangoku Musou”, so Dynasty Warriors 3 is “Shin Sangoku Musou 2” and so on.

Which highlight how they didn’t even bother to make another version of the video, sure, it would have been a bit odd to show a game that really doesn’t play like all the others in the series, but they also show Dynasty Warriors 9/Shin Sangoku Musou 8 (without apologizing), and it would have been correct. It also would have required more work, so of course Koei didn’t bother and uploaded it as is even on their official european Youtube channel.

Dynasty Warriors 20th Anniversary everyone is here

It may sound petty to make such a big deal out of this, but it’s so typical of Koei’s treatment of the series that they somehow managed to make some of it’s flaws and rightfully critiqued trends (like cutting corners by not dubbing the western releases of most musou titles in english) bleed into the celebratory 20th anniversary trip down memory lane. It’s so typical it’s downright depressing and make the otherwise well meaning “thank you” message at end feel completely hollow.

And i worry, because this is indicative of the state of the series as a whole… but i’m gonna dedicate an entire editorial to that later, there’s way too much to say, and i was planning to anyway, but this video gave me the final push.

Sorry for the teasing in the title, but don’t worry, that editorial won’t be locked behind a DLC or Season Pass paywall, or squirrelled away into an Xtreme Legends expansion at full retail price.

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One Piece Pirate Warriors 4 – DLC Pack 1 PS4 [REVIEW + RAMBLE]

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I wasn’t planning on reviewing the DLC packs as well, but then again Namco and/or Koei silence on eventual stuff one would expect for a 30 bucks Season Pass…. made me feel apprehensive, and it worth keep banging on these issues, they won’t go away if you get bored of hearing about them, quite the contrary.

So you get both a review of the first DLC Pack for Pirate Warriors and a small digest of Koei’s DLC bullshit (just this once, i’m not gonna do that for the following DLC packs’ reviews), far from comprenhensive, but fear not, i could easily make an essay on this subject. If you’re already familiar (or WAY too familiar) with the subject, please just skip to the review of the DLC pack itself below. Continua a leggere “One Piece Pirate Warriors 4 – DLC Pack 1 PS4 [REVIEW + RAMBLE]”

[EXPRESSO] Coffee Crisis NSWDDL | Bronco Blend

Coffee Crisis NSWDDL

I’m doing an Expresso review of this one because it doesn’t deserve a full review.

Coffee Crisis is retro brawler/beat em up inspired by 16-bit classics, as so proudly says in the marketing and description, and sports all the mandatory “indie quirks”, from mediodre-decent pixel graphics, a throwaway story so we can weaponize it as “joke” despite being a lazy and unfunny mish mash of overdone references and cringey exchanges regardless, so bad the writers should tar themselves, but clearly no one is vaguely ashamed.

I mean, we have to shoehorne appearences from Youtubers AlphaOmegaSin and MetalJesusRock (and somehow the legendary band Nile), need something to bait Twitch viewers in, clearly the plot about baristas fighting aliens that want to steal our heavy metal isn’t enough random “for the lulz” by itself.
Thankfully you can skip dialogues by pressing B.

Gameplay wise, it’s so faithful to its ispirations it’s downright obtuse, a prime example of not understanding the very genre you’re trying to serenade, not evolving or improving the combat system, and even badly aping them, with finnicky hit detection making most of the extra weapon useless, blows that don’t stop enemies so they power through your attacks, when they don’t snipe you with projectiles from outside the screen. Most of the difficulty is obtained via cheap bullshit, and it’s unbalanced as well, with boss fights that are usually piss easy and just annoying.

Its main selling point, the random modifiers, are such a liability the game improves when you deactivate them. Sadly you can’t turn off or ignore the password system as the sole mean to continue, and the game also quickly outstay its welcome, continuing on and on instead of ending.

At least the music is decent-good… but 30 years later, Bad Dudes it’s a way better game.

Still.

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