[EXPRESSO] World Beast War iOS | Kaiju Klicker

World Beast War iOS

Sometimes i kinda miss the early days of mobile games on smarthphones, when the free-to-play plague hadn’t become the standard, the banal evil, and the market wasn’t infested with endless clones of what’s popular, insanely overpriced ports, a satured mess with extremely rare gems like Onion Hotel.

But still, once i a while i search or stumble upon some title on the App Store, and i give them a whirl. This one is about big ass monsters going on a non-trademarked rampage, all done in the cheap and frankly cliched “faux 8-bit” aesthetic, but whatever, the idea of combining monsters together to make new ones is always nice, and the main attractive.

The problem is even the “monster merging” is too basic to hold any interest even in the “short run”, because you can’t spawn the more advanced ones in the “lab area”, even if unlocked: you must spawn the very basic one and keep merging them manually. There is an auto-merge function, but it’s inefficient, and even seeing what monster you’ll get next gets boring and moot, because you just put them to automatically thrudge through dozens of identical levels.

Because this is actually a clicker game, the store page describes it clearly as an “idle rpg”, so it’s not fraudolent advertising, it’s just that even with more to it than just clicking on stats to upgrade so you can earn more money to upgrade stats some more, it’s boring and lacking any “hook”. Ironically, the fact that there is more to it IS an issue, as there isn’t enough depth added to make you overlook its nature, but enough to inadvertently expose the pointless “gameplay” loop at the core.

Even as a timewaster on the toilet it gets old too quickly, and bootleg Rocket Raccoon just isn’t enough.

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[EXPRESSO] Gato Roboto NSWDDL | Domo Domo

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I didn’t know what exactly to make out of Gato Roboto, but since it was on sale and Devolver Digital published it, why not, for 2 bucks?

And it’s not like the game hides or even tries to hide its ispiration, as the main image used for marketing is a cat exiting a black and white version of Samus Aran’s Power Suit. The actual robot suit doesn’t look like that (as one might reasonably guess), but it tells you exactly what this is: is Super Metroid with a cat.

That’s it. I was expecting to see an actual gimmick, but the “gimmick” is that it’s a really good Metroid style title, actually finding the good balance between contained world and Metroidvania style progression that Xeodrifter failed to capture, so you don’t get lost at all since the design pushes you in a certain direction, but you also need to find out how to progress with the obstacles each enviroment introduces, such as heat, lava, water, etc.

And the whole idea of “Metroid but you’re a cat” is actually used well, as you can leave the suit to swim (begrudingly so), jump-scale walls or navigate narrow passages, but you have no offensive capability… because you’re just a normal cat, as normal as a cat using a robotic suit can be. Some good, challenging boss battles too, for a ¾ hour (more if you want to complete it 100 %) experience that’s fun all the way through, and doesn’t overstay its welcome for the sake of pleasing insane logic such as “hour=price”.

And while the aesthetic choice of “black and white graphics with retrò pixel aesthetic” is as “indie game” as it can be, it’s actually pleasing to look at (which isn’t always the case), and the story isn’t half bad, too. Fun one, recommended!

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[EXPRESSO] Arknights iOS | Medicated Nation

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So yeah, Yostar’s new gacha game, looks a lot more like Girls Frontline (or an anime take on The Division) than Azur Lane but isn’t any of that, it’s a tower defense thingie with people befitted of the ever popular animal ears, because. The vague plot sees you as the amnesiac leader of pharmaceutical-commando company Rhodes Island, in a world afflicted by Catastrophes, bringing destruction and the precious mineral known as Originium, which infects people with the mysterious disease of “Oripathy” ( awakening powers but also being lethal in the long run), and you fight the other factions at play, the cultish Reunion and the military force of the city of Chernobog.

Plot is decent, character design good for this type of game, and gameplay wise – as i said -, it’s a tower defense affair: you put units on the available grid spaces to stop the enemy units from entering through the gate/s at the end. If anything, the surprisingly long tutorial-prologue will get you up to speed to the basics and Arknight’s minor but nice additions to the formula. The usual free-to-play bullshit isn’t that bad either, as the game gives you useful items to start with (not just crap), but of course wants you to roll the gacha for characters with an alluring design by using real money.

Aside from some inusual design choices, like characters who don’t receive exp directly from fights (instead you gotta use xp item received as rewards to level them up), Studio Montagne’s game is fairly good in itself, with a good introduction of new enemy types and objects to keep things interesting, using actual gameplay to keep you coming back, instead of just using the typical psychological hooks to make you log in something way repetitive that basically plays itself (hi, Azur Lane).

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Reviews postponed due to Coronavirus

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So yeah, i was expecting to see Lupin III – The First movie and at least review the new american The Grudge reboot/remake/whatever, but many screening are being delayed indefinitely (unless it’s garbage, a national production or was already screening/i’ve already seen it), so who knows when i’ll be able to see Leigh Wannel’s The Invisible Man, and i don’t feel the mass hysteria will have died down before the 5th of March, so yeah, sorry, but these are the circumstances for now. Not good.

Since basically this screwed up my plans for EXPRESSO reviews, guess is time to get some use out of Netflix. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Stay safe, wash yourself (like you’re supposed to), and stop raiding supermarkets, this isn’t fuckin Judgement Day, fools.

[EXPRESSO] Fantasy Island (2020) | Horror Spice

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So this is basically a horror reimagining of a 70’s/80’s tv series, one i’ve never even heard before i stumbled upon the listing of this movie, but i guess if children shows like The Banana Splits can get remade as horror movies, it’s fair game for everybody.

The premise centers around the eponymous, remote tropical island, where the mystical Mr. Roarke (Michael Peña) makes the most secret dreams of his guests come true. But as the fantasies morph into nightmares, the captive guests have to solve to mystery of the island if they want to escape it, and the true reason they were all brought there.

I frankly don’t know or care if this is a “needed” or random remake of the source material, but even so, i could see this movie working even without the horror elements, which at times they do spice things up a bit, but on other occasions are so tacked on and clichè to the point of being just laughable, just thrown together into the supernatural thriller-drama cauldron, using the premise to link together scenes from different genres (a bit of Saw, a bit of war movie, a bit of heist movie, a family drama) in a coherent way.

And it works, it’s what i would classify as “movie meatloaf”, but it’s entertaining, fairly well acted, has decent characters, but it should (and could) have been shorter, as the last act drags on by using horror cliches, and it’s odd how mostly bloodless it is for a horror movie, not that this one actually needed Braindead/Dead Alive levels of gore, or horror elements to begin with. It’s not a case of “neutering for the sake of PG-13”, it just a story that could have done without being horror “flavored” and not lose much.

It’s alright.

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[EXPRESSO] Birds Of Prey (2020) | Quinn Patrol

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First off: i didn’t hate Suicide Squad, but boy it was bad, not the worst, but still quite bad, and was so widely panned i’m kinda surprised they even bothered to go through with this… sequel, i guess.

It takes place after Suicide Squad, but aside from a passing comment from Ms. Quinzell herself, it’s basically it’s own movie, focusing on Harley Quinn, who breaks up “Mister J” and goes solo, at first trying to survive without the impunity she had for being with Joker, and then meeting with three female anti-heroes/vigilantes (Black Canary, Huntress and a cop named Renee Montoya) that are searching for a girl named Cassandra Cain, also hunted by villain Roman Sionis, better known as “Black Mask”, who has a plan for taking control of the city’s criminal underbelly, now that Gotham is Batman-less.

While it retains some of the aesthetical flair of the “previous” movie, Birds Of Prey is a different beast, as in it actually knows what it wants to be, and its highly confident in itself, just as much as Margot Robbie’s perfect interpretation of the crazed anti-heroine, with a fun comic book atmosphere and the whole “magenta rebellion” visual style that you could have easily made this an animated movie (and there is a very nice animated prologue).

That and it actually understand that you can do a movie about “girl power kicking ass” and not undermine your own point by quasi-neutering your vision, as fight scenes are quite fun and are deciliously leaning on the savage side (without going randomly overboard), with plenty of arms and legs broken in slo-mo, fun coreography and setpieces, and a decent story told by and for the qwirky arlequin of Gotham. At times the quirkyness is a bit grating, i gotta say, but still charming.

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[EXPRESSO] 1917 (2019) | Trench-A-Live

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The director of American Beauty and Revolutionary Road (also behind the last two Bond films, which i simply didn’t see) is back to the war epic 25 years after it’s own Jarhead, so yeah, it’s quite understandable all the buzz and expectations surrounding it, but i gotta be honest, i wasn’t exactly hyped, since the self-explanatory title tells you right away it’s set in WWI, but still, a more interesting proposal than going back to WWII (or Vietnam) again.

Set at the zenith of WWI, the film centers on two british soldiers stationed in northern France, Schofield and Blake, tasked to deliver an order from HQ, which tells of an upcoming surprise attack planned by the retreating German army. With thousands of lives on the line, the two must race through the hostile Western Front to call off the attack, and for Blake is personal, as his brother is in the squadron they’re trying to save.

Like you’ve probably heard by now, the movie is shot in a faux one-take, as to create a seamless single and constant feed over the lonesome journey through the Western Front, to emphasizes the urgency and stakes for everyone involved, capture the atmosphere of the desolated wastelands of the trenches as the character themselves wade through the dismal sceneries and confront the realities of the conflict, despite their task being oblique and minor in the grand scheme of things.

And yes, it works beautifully, making for an intense and captivating experience that doesn’t just rely on a “trick”, as the events and characters are intriguing themselves, making for good drama that is enhanced by the amazing camerawork and directorion, as is the terrific cinematography, the movie is worth seeing on the big screen just for that. Not for Cumberbatch, as he’s barely in the movie.

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[EXPRESSO] Underwater (2020) |Ocean Walk In The Dark

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“It’s like Aliens, but”… you probably have heard these words more times than you wish, and i remember a similar situation some years ago, when the sci-fi horror thriller Life (starring Jack Gyllenhaal) came out, a good movie, but also one that fully deserved that comparison for actually having a similar plot focused on a crew trying to survive a killer alien lifeform in space.

Viceversa, i understand why many made this comparison again for William Eubank’s new movie, Underwater, because despite the completely opposite setting, it fits the typical sci-fi horror- thriller formula like a glove, and you can effectively swap out “deep space” for “ocean’s abyssus abyssum” without having to change pretty much anything.

The plot sees a deep-sea mining facility being unexpectedly torn apart by an unknown force, with the few survivors in the structure uniting in order to find a way to another outpost, in the hope of finding escape pods before the main drill’s nuclear core erupts, but as they venture into the depths, they also find horrible and vicious creatures lying in wait and quite ready to pick them off, if faulty equipment and the dangerous living conditions didn’t already…

The director of The Signal (the one from 2014 with Lawrence Fishburne, not the other one) here didn’t feel like reinventing anything or playing around with the genre, but then again it becomes pretty clear the intention was just to make a fun sci-fi horror thriller (not that advertising was deceptive, quite the contrary), one i’m glad it’s set underwater instead of space after all.

And on this regard, the movie delivers, with good cinematography, decent atmosphere, good creature design, decent characters, and a satysfing finale. Story is sadly derivative as it gets, but despite this, i’d quite entertaining, and worth a watch.

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[EXPRESSO] Jojo Rabbit (2019) | Achtung! The Desert Night of The Lepus

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Yeah, we didn’t get this in theathers until last week.

Johannes “Jojo” Betzler (anime joke) is a shy 10 year old boy who has trouble making friends, he’s always clumsy and reluctant, so he ends up earning the mocking nickname of being a cowardly “rabbit” (hence the title) by his peers and superiors, because just being in the Hitler Youth wasn’t enough. But fear not, for Jojo has an imaginary friend to rely on, Adolf Hitler (played by Waititi himself, and with gusto), always ready to give him advice when the need arises.

But despite aspiring to belong, he discovers that there’s a jewish girl taking refuge in their house, and experiences many events that make him question the rigid nazi indoctrination received, the arian myth, and all that bullshit, and he digests this……. like a 10 year old boy would.

Despite the edgy-looking premise, Taika Waititi’s “springtime in Germany opus” (loosely based on the novel “Caging Skies” by Christine Leunens) is actually very heartwarming, colorful and playful, but definitely doesn’t pull punches, balancing out drama and comedy like good black comedies do, and i’m kinda surprised by the style of comedy. Sure, Waititi/Imaginary Hitler is goofy and quite fun to watch, there are more flamboyant outbursts, but many jokes are done with an almost deadpan delivery.

Which mostly works, but some scenes would have benefitted by a more outlandish visuals, while others do work better because the characters shrugh off absurd stuff happening, which ultimately makes some of them lacking the impact they’re searching for, not flop totally, but also not making you burst out laughing.

Despite this gripe, it’s a surprisingly uplifting movie, with a very good cast, good characters, but i completely understand why it could fall kinda flat for others, not necessarily because of its subject.

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[EXPRESSO] The Lodge (2019) | Ich Sect

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After the tragic suicide of their mother, a couple of sibling is spending the weekend before Christmas in a mountain lodge with their new stepmother, whom they actively dislike (and kinda blame for their mother’s death, for reasons that are kinda spoiler). As thing between them seem to finally improve, strange events start affecting them, and the stepmother’s past as the only survivor of a cult mass suicide begins to surface…

Good atmosphere, good performances, but there’s also a reason if it felt similar to Goodnight Mommy, of course it does, it’s from the same directors, Veronica Franz and Severin Fiala, which in itself should be a glowing recommendation, but this simply isn’t as good, as – besides the slow pace – it feels more indecisive if to go the paranormal-possession or the paranoia-hallucination route, so it kinda takes time before unveiling the twist, which makes sense and brings some intense scenes, but it’s not particularly satisfying and can kinda be see coming.

Doesn’t help it’s edited in a way that i kinda expected the film to end a couple of times before the actual finale (not sure if good or kind of a cop-out), and the whole stepmother’s backstory about the religious cult doesn’t really make for original or particularly effective visuals (kinda cliched, actually), but it handles them better than regular movies about possessions and religious rituals. And still, it has its creepy and intense moments, the acting is quite good, it’s a more than decent horror thriller that it’s worth seeing, even if a better script would have been welcome.

And the – sadly – unfavorable comparison to Goodnight Mommy isn’t unfair, i fear it’s kinda unavoidable (for the previously mentioned reasons). Not exactly disappointing, but it’s a bit frustrating as you can see how it could have been better. 😦

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