[EXPRESSO] Escape Room (2019) | Playing Games, Makin’ Names

 

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NOT to be confused with the omonynous 2017 movie directed by Will Wernick, which i didn’t see (it was supposed to screen in my country just before this one, but i guess it didn’t, at all).

Anyway, “Escape Room 2019” is about six vastly different individuals that receive a strange cube containing the invitation to an exclusive escape room by a company named Minos. After they all gather in a waiting room, they soon realize the game has already started, and the team must scramble and work together to solve the riddles and proceed to the next room, in what soon appear to be challenges with one goal: survival, at any cost.

It’s basically a non-horror (kinda, there’s some blood, but not gore) take on Saw, which i like even if it’s quite obvious, since here we also have a team of people that seems random at first (but isn’t, at all), and we see them try to cooperate (or not) for a common goal of surviving a deadly challenge of intellect and action, set up for unknown reasons by a misterious, evil mastermind, watching from the shadows.

Heck, even the way it starts is so typical of Saw. 😉

But it’s better than most of the late entries in the Saw franchise, it’s a better written movie than the disappointing Saw: Legacy/Jigsaw we got back in 2017, and it’s actually better than expected, with some surprises, good atmosphere, and mostly decent-to-good performances.

What stops it from being “good”/more than decent is the characterization, with some characters never actually growing out of the clichè they seem at first, and the shameless (but kinda “honest”) way it sets up a sequel, one in what Sony wants to be an annualized franchise. Again, like Saw, which isn’t a promising scenario.

We’ll see, i guess. :/

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One Piece: Romance Dawn (3DS) [REVIEW] Kuso Kuso No Mi

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Copy Gifted By Friend

Platform: Nintendo 3DS
Developed by: Three Rings
Players: 1

Ok, since World Seeker is launching tomorrow, time to write another review of One Piece: Romance Dawn for 3DS (for italian readers, here’s my old review, if you really wish to read it, i don’t recommend doing so), which i’d say it’s the worst One Piece game i’ve ever played, and – maybe – the worst of them all so far (not counting crossover titles like Jump Force, i saw the cutscenes and i almost couldn’t believe that was basically launching in a week). Continua a leggere “One Piece: Romance Dawn (3DS) [REVIEW] Kuso Kuso No Mi”

Akira Psycho Ball PS2 [REVIEW] | Capsules Multiball Run

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Copy Purchased

Platform: Playstation 2
Developed by: KAZe
Players: 1-2 (local)

Akira has actually received more videogame adaptations than expected, but this is most well known, since the visual novel for the Famicom never left Japan, the Super Nintendo/Genesis/Jaguar version ended up cancelled and only the Amiga (and Amiga CD 32) version eventually came out in 1994.

Hell, even this game is kinda baffling in itself, not just for the choice of genre, but for the reason it was made: to coincide with the 2002 japanese remastered DVD release of the movie. Not exactly a labour of love made to celebrate the movie in grand fashion, but then again, it’s a game about of a (then) 14 year old movie, it’s quite odd anyway. Continua a leggere “Akira Psycho Ball PS2 [REVIEW] | Capsules Multiball Run”

[EXPRESSO] Sparkle 2 PSN | Zuma Fantasy Quest

Sparkle 2 PSN

If you like Zuma, you’ll probably enjoy Sparkle 2, i assume sequel to “Sparkle”, if this wasn’t given as one of PS Plus monthly “free” games, i wouldn’t even know it exists.

Yeah, it’s a “Zuma clone”, which isn’t a bad thing at all, as we aren’t (or ever were) exactly drowning in them, and unlike the original Zuma, this one doesn’t become frustrating and obscenely difficult towards the end, punishing you for just wishing to beat the game. This is a lot better, since it actually cares a lot more about being fun to play than being difficult for the sake of it.

To differentiate itself a bit, Sparkle 2 lets you equip passive abilities for the orb slinger, which – besides being more numerous than expected – are just unlocked as you go, and can be quite useful. The presentation is simple but nice, even if the story amount to you being in a fantasy place on a quest to obtain 5 keys that will unlock.. something, with “screensaver cutscenes” accompanied by a good (albeit not exactly ecstatic) narrating voice.

While i appreciate that it’s really trying to give me more “bang for my buck” (it also has a Challenge Mode and Survival Mode, leaderboards, harder difficulties), in the long run i wish Sparkle 2 campaign was shorter, it boasts 92 levels, sure, but after a while they start to repeat themselves (and so do the nice music and backgrounds), just harder with faster moving orbs and more colors to match.

Even if i wish they didn’t try to make so many levels when they clearly couldn’t (hence the “need” to recycle them for filler purposes), i found myself getting back to it time after time and i gladly played it to the end.

Overall, a more than decent “Zuma clone”, and a fun one.

 

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[EXPRESSO] Blood: The Last Vampire (2009) | Live Action Mehstruction

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Live-action adaptations of animated works are quite the oddity.

Fans are usually against it because “it’s pointless”, but even so it’s hard to fully repress any curiosity, and it’s a way to stir up some interest in an IP.

In this case, it’s adapted from the omonymous 2000 Production IG film, a coproduction between french company Pathè and Hong Kong company Edko, directed by Chris Nahon.

The basic plot is mostly the same: Saya is an half vampire half human that hunts down “proper vampires” for a shadowy organization, that helps her by providing supplies for the killings. It’s still set in an American army base, but there’s also this whole backstory of shape shifting “demons” that in the 16th centhury took human shape to live between us (using the bloodshed of that period to their advantage), and Saya being the daughter of a legendary demon hunter, slain by the vile demon Onigen.

Also, she has to basically babysit Alice, the daughter of an american army general, after she saves her from vampires monsters disguised as school bullies. Yeah, while some scenes from the anime film are replicated, the plot changes and add things just to fill time between the decent action scenes, definitely the best parts of the movie, despite being very clearly made by a Hong Kong company, not very japanese.

It honestly feels like the plot was written for a tv series or a videogame based on Blood The Last Vampire, and then reused here, it has that cheap feeling to it. Apart from that, the movie is watchable, but it’s kinda shit, with laughably bad and clichè as hell dialogue, some stupid scenes, mediocre acting, inconsistent quality of the special effects, and a really anti-climatic final confrontation.

Oh, and the title is a lie. It is.

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[EXPRESSO] Temple (2017) | The J-Horror Clichès Shitsoup

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(BTW, this ISN’T the horror movie review i alluded to, this is a freebie)

I already did this one in my italian blog, but it’s quite the fun movie….. to review, and nothing else.

Mind you, if you saw the poster, you may expect some level of quality, since it’s “from the writer of You’Re Next and Blair Witch (2016)”, Simon Barrett, but it doesn’t tell you it’s directed by Michael Barrett (maybe a relative?), a cinematographer.

I didn’t knew any of this when i stumbled across it through Netflix “horror” catalogue (never even heard of it before), and – ultimately – it doesn’t matter.

Temple proclaims to be a movie, but i have the feel the director went to Japan to stock up on Gunplas, and while he was here, he decided to throw together a bunch of j-horror cliches and call it a film, not that it actually matters if it takes place in Japan or not (even more since everything else is distinctly american).

The plot: a couple and a childhood friend of the gal (yeah, it’s uncomfortable) go to Japan because she wants to finish her thesis on occult sacred grounds or something, they find out of a temple that the locals avoid like the plague, go there, and they get attacked by something, who the fuck knows for sure.

And i mean it, since the movie, on top of scarcely reaching the 70 minutes mark (and being comatosely boring all the way), filled with “just woke up” performances, being stock beyond belief (even if tried it couldn’t be more trite), for its climax can’t decide between the “there actually were monsters” or the “dude allucinated and did the killings himself” endings, so it does both and none at the same time.

It’s quite impressive how much nothing is in this film.

Just worthless, pointless, even if you wanna watch a bad horror movie.

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A Star Is Born rapid thoughts and upcoming stuff

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I don’t have the time to do even an Expresso review of A Star Is Born, so i’m just gonna say this: i didn’t knew it was a “remake” of an older movie (which i never heard about before), but i was favorably surprised, it’s really, really good. The last act was kinda slow, but still, i encourage you go see it in theathers (or catch it later on VOD, here in Italy premiered 3 days ago), even if you’re not big on this kind of story, because i sure as hell wasn’t.

That said, i have an Expresso review of something more proper for the month, and maybe something special, something extreme…

Yuuna And The Haunted Hot Springs (manga) VOL. 1 [REVIEW/FIRST IMPRESSIONS]

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I don’t usually do “Volume 1” reviews of anything, so it’s more of a “first impressions” on the series, as i don’t plan to ever read the second volume.

Author: Tadahiro Miura

Publisher: Seven Seas Entertaiment

Note: the review is based on the italian edition (titled Ghost Inn- La Locanda Di Yuna, lit. “Ghost Inn – Yuna’s Tavern/Inn), published by Planet Manga

Also, the anime adaptation is streaming on Crunchyroll (for US viewers).

Well, i’ve never expected to say “gimme Monster Musume instead”, but here we are. Continua a leggere “Yuuna And The Haunted Hot Springs (manga) VOL. 1 [REVIEW/FIRST IMPRESSIONS]”

[EXPRESSO] Muse (2017) | Dry Paint?

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Samuel Salomon is a literature professor, that has taken a 1 year break from work since the tragic death of his wife. On top of the grief, he has a recurring nightmare of a woman being killed in a strange ritual, and eventually finds out that the woman in his nightmare has been found dead in the same exact circumstances.

He sneaks on the crime scene and there meets Rachel, a woman who also had the same identical nightmare day after day. The two set out to discover the identity of the mysterious victim, and in their research they learn of the Muses, the ancient deities of greek mithology that have been said to inspire artists since the beginning of mankind, and their dark secrets.

By the same director of (most of, anyway) the [REC] series, which doesn’t mean anything to me, since i never saw any movie from that series, or any movie directed by Jaume Balaguerò before this one.

And…. it’s ok. It has Christopher Lloyd, which is a plus (even though this means bugger all, since The Oogieloves could make the same exact claim), the subject is quite interesting (definitely more than Down A Dark Hall, which has more in common with this one than expected), the acting is quite good, the set design is nice, the horror mithology built around the actual myth of the Muses it’s not bad at all.

So, it sound like it could be a good one, but the execution just feels kinda flat, and in the third act the movie drops so many twist and revelations on the viewer that is kinda suffocating, they make sense (mostly), but it doesn’t change the lack of any sense of urgency, danger, or dread for most of the film. Which is a problem.

It’s alright.

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