Shark Exorcist 2: Unholy Waters (2024) [REVIEW] | #thesharklist

I make no secret that i veheemently hate Shark Exorcist, i’ve always hated it well before i re-reviewed it for the blog “shark month”, and while i’m not making a “Worst 10 Shark Films” listicle because there’s always something worse i haven’t seen or that just released that would make that obsolete very fast, if i did, i would put Shark Exorcist as the reigning champion of shit.

Not that Donald Farmer was ever a good director, he always made trashy B to Z movies, but this one i believe was maliciously made extra bad by design, but then again having 40 years of experience in trash cinema doesn’t guarantee you’ll retain any know-how, or care to even put on a semblance of any competence you’ve gathered, as it was frankly barely indistiguishable from crap like Jurassic Shark, made obviously by a bunch of kids with a camera and zero experience.

Again, it took some nega-effort to make Mark Polonia look like Spielberg in comparison, but Shark Exorcist was indeed something special, not your everyday homegrown Z-grade shark trash.

So when i learned last year Donald put out a sequel, Shark Exorcist 2: Unholy Waters back in 2024, 10 years after the first one…. i knew i had to cover it, and i’m not gonna let it fester too much in my mind this time, we’re doing this now so we can move on.

Here i’d discuss the plot but we already did the bit on the review of the first Shark Exorcist, which had a premise, an idea of a plot, not really an actual plot besides the first 5 minutes, or any actual structure, just random padding, “plot lines” that go nowhere, even calling it a “narrative gibberish” it’s too kind in hindsight, since it honestly doesn’t even have an ending or a proper resolution…. it just kinda stops, and reaches a runtime of 74 minutes just because of random post-credit padding.

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Shark Exorcist (2014) [REVIEW] | #thesharksix

I knew the day would come.

I knew it was just a matter of time, and made sense since it had been so long, and my hatred for this film never subdued since i first saw it back in 2015. I wasn’t familiar with Donald Farmer’s “game”, so to speak, i though i knew bad, but seeing his Shark Exorcist made me realize i was still green.

“Still just a bud”, to quote Holly Summers from No More Heroes.

I did actually preorder the DVD for it, expecting it to be fun, a shitshow but we were still riding high from the Sharkenado phenomenon, before cheap homegrown filmakers realized you didn’t actually need these bad sharkmovies to be fun in order to sell them, and instead made poster than would never live up to the actual films, so yeah, a sweet summer child, etc.

And no, i didn’t plan to review the movie for it’s 10th anniversary, and i didn’t realize it actually came out first in 2014 in some countries, but i guess it’s red raw anus-bound thread of Fate itself at work, pinching one out for the occasion, so let’s toast our glasses of expire communion wine!

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