Roboshark (2015) [REVIEW] | Livetweeting The Shark #sharksncrocspartdeux

Robocroc left me feeling very meh and mildly bored, so Roboshark would have to pick up any pace in order to better. Or worse.

Regardless, it was originally one of the many shark movies making their debut on SyFy during the second annual Sharkenado Week of 2015 on the channel, and like most of you would have already guessed, indeed, it’s not a sequel at all, just shares the concept of something cybernetic getting into contact with predator animals and turning them into robotic-cyborg version of themselves.

But honestly the circumstances of the movie’s release it’s a perfect framing in what climate Roboshark came out, because it was indeed a time where everyone wanted to be in on the joke, ride the meta self-awareness sea train but deliberately doing it WITHOUT a “Don!”, engineering itself to be made fun of, to have people online live-tweet the shit out of it, to make you look at the freak, hoping that word of mouth and horrible reviews would make for unorthodox promotional material, because making that view counter go up is the only reason to make the thing in the first place.

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[EXPRESSO] Denti Da Squalo (2023) | Pool Shark Summer

Time for a review of an italian movie that most likely won’t ever come out internationally (but who knows), for the sake of variety.

Denti Da Squalo (translated literally as “Shark Teeth/Teeth Of A Shark”) is about a 13 yo boy, Walter, that recently lost his father, a former crime boss, and while wandering about finds an apparently abandoned villa with a shark living in a salt-water pool, and Walter makes of the villa his secret getaway place. Only to find another, older boy, Carlo, is squatting there, but Walter keeps coming back, entranced by the literal pool shark, and ends up befriending Carlo…

It’s definitely a very nice surprise of a movie, as not only it avoids pulling the “metaphorical animal we can’t show on screen” bit, the shark it’s seen very early and very often in the movie, and honestly the effects are top notch, obviously it’s not a real shark but it looks and feels real, as it needed to be since it’s both a plot device and symbolic incarnation of the criminal life.

Also, despite having the elements and touching upon the relative themes, it’s not a story of criminal formation, but of emotional formation and reckoning with the loss of the father figure (here played by beloved italian actor Claudio Santamaria), seen as an imperfect, human example that does not glorify nor 100% wilify criminal life, and not as the only real figure to aspire to, not the inevitable set of footsteps for Walter to follow.

For a feature debut, Davide Gentile manages to create a solid and emotionally meaningful modern take on the themes of criminal life, grief, legacy and family, following indeed all the familiar steps of the coming of age story, but the execution and performances make it worth checking out.

Dangerous Waters: Shark Attack/Spring Break Shark Attack (2005) [REVIEW] Teen Sharks, GO?

Dangerous Waters Shark Attack AKA Spring Break Shark Attack 2005.png — **Yeah, not a clear edit. Good lord, at least have matching fonts.**

This is actually Spring Break Shark Attack, but sold on home video as Dangerous Water Shark Attack, like in the UK DVD version, which also sports a cover trying to imply a more grim tone to the titular shark attack, totally trojan horsing to the shark movie aficionados a movie with such a generic name, making them think this is The Reef.

Really, even Jersey Shore Shark Attack had more to it, even if it was due to mixing together (and unofficially) two different – yet perfectly compatibile – flavours of trash, this is exactly what it says on the tin, and one that must have required very little brainstorming. Shark movie. Spring break. Teens played by “not quite teen” actors. Bikinis. Send tweet. Send script. Print. Beautiful. Continua a leggere “Dangerous Waters: Shark Attack/Spring Break Shark Attack (2005) [REVIEW] Teen Sharks, GO?”

Mississippi River Sharks (2017) [REVIEW] | Senior Rodeo Daredevils

Mississippi River Sharks 2017.png

I’ve finally found a version with the original english voices (and in hindi, again), so time to review this one as well!

And it’s quite the shark dropping we have, because 1 minute in you’ve already seen the best part, it’s not even from the actual movie, it’s a clip from a fake in-movie shark series called Shark Bite, and this ties into the actual plot of the movie, with sharks attacking river boats in Mississippi and then disrupting a fish rodeo (possibly held by ol’ Jim Slater ) presented by the main lead of the fake Shark Bite movie series.

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