[EXPRESSO] Scarlet (2025) | “Why Don’t You Ramlet?”

After debutting at 2025’s Venice Film Festival, Hosoda’s latest film, Scarlet, is releasing in theathers worlwide.

And to be honest i was ready to be disappointed, but you know, even Belle with its flaws was quite interesting, but Scarlet instead surpassed my expectations for the worse, and it pains me to say that it is, without a doubt, the worse Hosoda film ever, however you slice it.

The premise is not necessarily bad, at all, basically doing a genderbend version of Hamlet, but when the heroine Scarlet, fails to avenge her father’s death at the hands of her evil uncle Claudius, she finds herself in a limbo where souls gather after death, regardless of era or nation.

There is she informed by a strange shaman woman that her uncle Claudius is here too, and is amassing an army to stop others going to the “Infinite Lands” beyond the mountains, so she continues her quest for vengeance, helped by Hijiri, a pacifist paramedic from modern day Japan.

Scarlet it is the worse written Hosoda film ever, with a story that even by its own fantasy sci fi logic makes little sense, a super basic Hamlet deconstruction that has nothing to say and doesn’t proper explore anything, just throws in the air the usual waffling about the “futility of vengeance” and “the necessity of violence”, features incredibly dull, uninteresting characters and ends with one of the stupidest “optimistic” endings i’ve ever seen.

To make matters worse, it’s not even pretty, starting off strong with good 2D animation in the prologue but then it’s a constantly inconsistent flip-flopping between 2D and 3D CG animation, all looking astoningly cheap for a feature film by Hosoda’s Studio Chizu, with musical scenes meant to wow audiences being downright laughable and featuring generic, unispired music to boot.

[EXPRESSO] Hamnet (2025) | The House That Will Built

Chloe Zhao (Nomadland, Eternals) is back for an adaptation of Maggie O’ Farrell book of the same name, a semi-fictionalized retelling of the lives of William Shakespeare and his wife Agnes.

Agnes is a peculiar woman for 16^th centhury Stratford: she is skilled with herbs, animals and ointments, she often walks alone in the forest, which makes the town gossip of her as a “witch”. One day she is noticed by Will, a man teaching latin to sons to repay the family’s debt, who falls in love with her, is reciprocated, and despite Will’s family being against it, the two marry, and have three sons: Susanna, Judith, and a boy, Hamnet (which we’re told by text in the prologue was equivalent of “Hamlet” in that day).

Though fate has it in for the young Hamnet, which contracts the plague and dies, further straining the relationship between Agnes and William, the latter which is often away to pursue his budding theathrical career in London…

I think there’s some irony in how the more this tries to work in the famous Shakespeare lines and have this whole familial tragedy serving as what would inspire William Shakespeare to write Hamlet… the more it feels oddly “forced”, almost using the idea as a crutch.

This in a movie where William Shakespeare isn’t actually the protagonist, which is fine, since this IS Agnes’ story by far and large, i get that, but it’s also undeniably way stronger when it’s just being this familial period drama about the loss of a son to illness with some touches of a pastoral magic reality, incarnated by Agnes herself, the “forest witch”.

It just makes the final act a bit wobbly (almost clumsy in how direct it is), but still amounts to Hamnet being a very good film, nonetheless.

Tromeo & Juliet (1996) [REVIEW] | Troma Shaped Box

While i was adamant about never reviewing a Troma film again due to them defending Harry Knownles some time ago, after seeing the new Toxic Avenger reboot/remake i realized there’s no point as the company died years ago, the soul of it, anyway, and it’s sad that i somehow longed for when they were trash but punk for real, instead of pretending as they are today.

Plus, at this point, they have so little relevance left regardless, so whatever, as they have a right to keep trying to remake their old shlock classics (or do new installments on their old series like Class Of Nuke ‘Em High), so have i to review Tromeo & Juliet for a lark if i want (and so have you on this decision of mine, obviously), and because it’s that time of the year .

I was gonna say basically the same thing for the SGT Kabukiman review i planned last year, but that i had to delay, so i’ll refer back to this one for clarification in the future, instead of redoing the spiel everytime.

And i guess at one point i’ll have to do a full essay on Kaufman and Troma as a whole, because in a way it deserves more discussion that i’m giving it here, but let’s not get carried away, it’s time to revisit a Troma classic, their shlock loose retelling of Romeo and Juliet, with an obvious but also obviously catchy punny name, Tromeo & Juliet (still makes more sense than Gnomeo & Juliet).

Time to shit on Shakespeare, because why not?

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