Mega Shark VS Giant Octopus (2009) [REVIEW] Romancing The Shark

Mega Shark Vs Giant Octopus 2009

It’s 2019, Sharkenado won’t be a thing for 4 more years, but of course The Asylum existed before that series became the face of the mockbuster titan, and made other monster flicks with “Mega” in the name, like Mega Piranha or Mega Python Vs Gatoroid (there’s no Mega Python, not by The Asylum anyway), both never culminating in their own series. Some very small mercies, but i’ll take them.

One of the “MEGA” non-brand movies to prove more successful was Mega Shark VS Giant Octopus, because sharks are more popular, at the end of the day. Continua a leggere “Mega Shark VS Giant Octopus (2009) [REVIEW] Romancing The Shark”

6 Headed Shark Attack (2018) [REVIEW] | Math Sharks

6 Headed Shark Attack 2018

Welcome to the confusingly titled (at this point i think on purpose) 4th entry in the “n-Headed Shark Attack” series. By this time even the Leprechaun series went to space (and to Las Vegas), but nope, this entry makes the multi-headed shark crash a couples rehab camp. No, not in an Octodad style, with the shark in a suit preteding to be human. I would have liked the effort, if anything.

Instead here the shark just has 6 heads, and it goes after a group of people attending one of those “phones away, and far from civilization” camps, to mend relationships, done in a co-op survival challenge way, in this case in Isla Corazon. I’d wish people that make synopsis of these movies on IMDB actually watched these movies, but whatever. Continua a leggere “6 Headed Shark Attack (2018) [REVIEW] | Math Sharks”

5 Headed Shark Attack (2017) [REVIEW] | Skipper Sharks

5 Headed Shark Attack 2017

Your assumption is correct, there is no 4-Headed Shark Attack, you’d think they skipped to 5 just to confuse people watching this junk, since this is the third movie in the “X-Headed Shark Attack” series, not the fourth. … but believe it or not there’s a reason for it. Kinda, as they basically already did the “4-headed shark” at the end of the previous one, in a mathematical sense.

Does it mattes? Of course no. You know it doesn’t, even if you did remember how the previous one ended. And in that case you’d ask why not skip directly to 6-Headed Shark Attack, but patience, we’ll get to that. Yes, there is a reason. Kinda. Continua a leggere “5 Headed Shark Attack (2017) [REVIEW] | Skipper Sharks”

3 Headed Shark Attack (2015) [REVIEW] | Triple Trejo

3 Headed Shark Attack 2015

3 years have passed, and with the help of Christopher Douglas-Olen Ray back to direct, the little shark grew another head, because why not, let’s make a series out of this wafer thin premise!

As you might imagine, this is not a sequel, it’s just another shark movie, but this time he has 3 heads instead of 2, we gotta escalate something, and the plot doesn’t revolve around improbable college summer seminar at sea. We have them bikini clad (and clad-less) ladies, young people partying, drinking, and being victims of shark interruptus, but it’s more an incidental, an inevitability of this kind of shlock. Continua a leggere “3 Headed Shark Attack (2015) [REVIEW] | Triple Trejo”

2 Headed Shark Attack (2012) [REVIEW] | Double Hit

2 Headed Shark Attack 2012

Title engineering is the heart of shlock, it was so in the 50s and it didn’t really change much, just got worse, in an oversaturated ocean that somehow finds lube for another pile of shark movies, and among the endless waves of those, there certainly was one called 2 Headed Shark Attack… and also called Monster Shark Attack, this movies can’t have just a single title, apparently.

You already know if you’re in by the tone you’re reading the title. Continua a leggere “2 Headed Shark Attack (2012) [REVIEW] | Double Hit”

Azur Lane The Animation 2019-20 [REVIEW] | The Bone Of My Boat

Azur Lane The Animation 2019-20.png

Ah yes, one more for the evergrowing subgenre of “shipgirls military slice of life”, less Arpeggio of Blue Steel, and more Kancolle/Kantai Collection, which is obvious as hell as Azur Lane (by chinese companies Manju and Yongshi) came out to fight Kadokawa’s browser game, but actually bothered to give it more actual gameplay, implement less taxing gacha elements (which is akin to say “less rusty gambling hooks piercing my flesh”), and actually made it easier to access worlwide without any need to know japanese, use google translate constantly or set a VPN, just released an app for smarthphones.

And given it performed quite well (even in Japan), it was just a matter of time to see an anime adaptation of sorts, which came out in late 2019…not fully, as two last episodes were postponed to march 2020 after concerns on animation quality. I thought it was due to fans expressing criticisms on social media, but it seems it was mostly the staff itself’s decision in order to deliver a better and satisfying ending to the series instead of rushing it, which is commendable, and gave me time to catch up. Continua a leggere “Azur Lane The Animation 2019-20 [REVIEW] | The Bone Of My Boat”