Shark Attack 3: Megalodon (2002) [REVIEW] | Meme Sharks

Shark Attack 3 Megalodon 2002.png

Yeah, reviewing the previous Shark Attack movies was just a formality of sorts, more for completition’s sake and to have an excuse to watch them.

This is the Shark Attack movie you knew and (apparently) loved, and it doesn’t need presentation for many internet denizens of a certain age, since it spawned some really legendary, popular memes on an internet where “meme” wasn’t a common term at all, and had clips do the rounds of forums and boards. Continua a leggere “Shark Attack 3: Megalodon (2002) [REVIEW] | Meme Sharks”

Shark Attack 2 (2000) [REVIEW] | Cape Town Sharks, GO!

Shark Attack 2 2000

While the first Shark Attack wasn’t exactly a prestigious production, at least it was deemed worthy to be released as a TV movie.

With the “sequel” they didn’t even bother to try and sell it to SYFY, and released it directly to home video, which is already a flag of sorts, but then again, the first one was quite bad and widely panned, so nobody was expecting Shark Attack 2 to carry the sins of the father and redeem the franchise on the Golgotha. Continua a leggere “Shark Attack 2 (2000) [REVIEW] | Cape Town Sharks, GO!”

Deep Blue Sea 2 (2018) [REVIEW] | Sealab 2018

Deep Blue Sea 2 2018

How you do follow up on a movie that actually had a proper ending, without any open subplots left by the end or random sequel bait? The right answer is “you don’t”, but i guess Warner Bros needed to milk some of his forgotten properties, so here we are.

There’s no other reason to make a Deep Blue Sea sequel 19 years apart from the first one, and i don’t know how it worked, since it’s released directly to home video without anyone either caring or knowing this even existed. I had to buy an UK dvd copy, since i guess not even Netflix or Amazon Video cared to have it streaming in my region.

And when i say “sequel”, i mean… that, usually, but this is a perfect, by-the-book academic example of “sequel in name only”, if we ever needed another one to prove any kind of point anymore. Continua a leggere “Deep Blue Sea 2 (2018) [REVIEW] | Sealab 2018”

Mega Shark VS Kolossus (2014) [REVIEW] Attack On Titan Shark

In 2013, the first season of the Attack On Titan anime was launched, and effectively made the already successful manga series by Hajime Isayama (started in 2009 on Bessatsu Shonen Magazine) a worlwide phenomen, the anime/manga series that gets big and becomes a sensation even outside of the already invested cultural circles and subcultures, like Death Note did before, resulting in anime/nerd/geek cons flooded with dozens of cosplayers in the guise of the young soldiers and their desperate struggle at gigantomachia in a fantasy Western Europe, for some years to come until the next big series that people won’t shut up about for a time.

While this means bugger all for The Asylum, as they really don’t belong in the “animesphere”, they clearly noticed the popularity of Attack On Titan (or SnK, if you really care), and find an oblique way to chomp at the popularity crumbs of both the anime series, AND to double-dip on the far more popular love letter to mecha anime and kaiju movies, Pacific Rim, which they already “mockbustered” a year later with Atlantic Rim. To really make this the perfect matrioska of creative compromises, they decided to realize this marketing manouver in the shape of a new Mega Shark movie. Continua a leggere “Mega Shark VS Kolossus (2014) [REVIEW] Attack On Titan Shark”

[EXPRESSO] The Grudge (2020) | The House That Kayako Built

The Grudge 2020 poster

(finally got another chance of seeing this in theathers)

Despite the mostly negative reception in the States and the frankly stupid idea of doing ANOTHER remake of Ju-On/The Grudge…. at least it had to just be better than the 2004 american remake, and that one had the same directors of the original. Then again i haven’t watched any of the sequels yet (american or japanese ones), but i can confirm this one is a “side-sequel” meant to connect with the 2004 american The Grudge.

And this is the main problem, as it wants to not disregard the previous american movies, but also doesn’t want to rework the premise to make sense in a completely different place and culture, or to make you forget that this a western remake of japanese movie. So there a willingly suicidal tendency to this one taking place in America with an american cast (plus John Cho), but still having to originate from Japan, with the curse basically using a character as a vessel to propagate itself in a small town, where a local sheriff investigates strange murders seemingly connected to a single house, all told in a non-linear fashion (as you’d expect) with the characters acting as “chapters-victims”.

It’s kinda tragic, because Nicolas Pesce manages to craft good characters and make you care about them, the drama is decent and the acting good, but when it comes to the horror parts, you’d wish the movie didn’t bother at all, even without throwing into the mix the trite j-horror movies cliches, or stuff that “has” to be here regardless, just because it’s The Grudge. The open ending doesn’t help.

Definitely a step up from the 2004 The Grudge, but please, let this type of “reboot/remakes of japanese movies” stay where it belongs. In the past.

americano-icona

Mega Shark VS Mecha Shark (2012) [REVIEW] | Fins Of Steel

Mega Shark VS Mecha Shark 2012

Of course this doesn’t follow from the last movie, not even the post credits scene implying a kaiju encounter next time… but it wasn’t completely off, because now we have the main monster facing against a robot version of itself, made a classic trope by Godzilla Vs Mecha Godzilla decades ago.

Kinda surprised it took until the third movie in the series for this direction, honestly, but i guess third time is the charm, and very welcome given the series quality so far. Continua a leggere “Mega Shark VS Mecha Shark (2012) [REVIEW] | Fins Of Steel”

Mega Shark VS Crocosaurus (2010) [REVIEW] | Now With Extra Bacon

Mega Shark VS Crocosaurus 2010

Mega Shark is back, because the first one was boring as shit, but it was cheap enough and turned out to be profitable, so here, have another one, this time pitting the MEGA Shark agains the dreaded Crocosaurus, which isn’t MEGA, and sounds more like an extra crispy fast food specialty item, or a ice sammich.

And when i say Mega Shark is “back”, i guess it is, it’s a shark, it’s way bigger than it should be, it can do impossible jumps, and i guess we can believe it’s the same one from Mega Shark VS Giant Octopus, there is a japanese poster for that movie to be seen, and there’s a photo of Debbie Gibson, who was in that movie. So yeah, it’s totally a sequel, despite the completely different cast and plot that doesn’t follow from the end of the previous movie… but since Jaleel White feels like it’s the same one from before, i’m inclined to trust him. Wouldn’t you? Continua a leggere “Mega Shark VS Crocosaurus (2010) [REVIEW] | Now With Extra Bacon”

2 Lava 2 Lantula (2016) [REVIEW] | Superfastula

2 Lava 2 Lantula 2016

Oh yeah, baby, because parodying the Fast N Furios titling stylization is still kewl.

But it fits, given the tongue-in-cheek tone of the first Lavalantula (still think it should have been Lavantula, but whatever), which was a decent, enjoyable B-movie about lava spiders from director Mike Mendez (Big Ass Spider, the “Friday the 31st” segment in Tales Of Halloween), a genuine one that actually sets out to be fun and not just in the “let’s make as bad as possible on purpose” trend. Continua a leggere “2 Lava 2 Lantula (2016) [REVIEW] | Superfastula”

Ghost In The Shell: Stand Alone Complex 2045 – Season 1 (2020) [REVIEW] | Neural Netflix Interface (UPDATED)

GITSSAC2045 locandina giapponese.PNG

Last year we got two anthological multi-authorial Ghost In The Shell volumes (Ghost In The Shell Comic Tribute and Ghost In The Shell: Global Neural Network, each with many artists and writer tributing the Masamune Shirow’s manga in their own way.

Now we finally got a new anime series, Stand Alone Complex 2045, streaming exclusively on Netflix, with the first season being available from the 23th of April, and the second one planned but with no certain release window, though it will arrive for sure, not just because it’s confirmed, but because the original Stand Alone Complex series had 2 seasons as well, and this is set-up as a continuation of sorts.

In the meantime, let’s look at the first season, directed by Kenji Kamiyama (Shinji Aramaki is set to direct the second season). Continua a leggere “Ghost In The Shell: Stand Alone Complex 2045 – Season 1 (2020) [REVIEW] | Neural Netflix Interface (UPDATED)”