12 Days Of Dino Dicember #44: Dinosaur Hotel 3 (2024)

Yeah, no waiting about another year, i’m reviewing both Dinosaur Hotel sequels back to back, hoping to Dino Saint Nicholas Of Myra that 2025 doesn’t bring out a Dinosaur Hotel 4.

Please, Jagged Edge Productions, focus on the Winnie The Pooh and fairy tale slasher stuff instead, because to say i didn’t enjoy any of the Dinosaur Hotel films so far.. it’s being overly kind.

Honestly i think i enjoyed working more than the first Dinosaur Hotel, the sequel was a slight improvement but still an experience that felt like a thousand years had passed since i started the film, despite the 72 minutes runtime, but that one had an open ending that was very “battle royale-esque” of sorts, with the frontman/creator going rogue to get back at the new people running the show that tried to push him, leaving on that plot thread for Dinosaur Hotel 3 to pick up.

Oh i guess SPOILERS. Who cares. I don’t. And these movies have barely a plot anyway, the characters are stereotypes at best, and are a struggle to sit through, so bite me, as they say, i’d rather you not bother even for the morbid curiosity some dino buffs might want to satisfy.

Heck, no one even bothered to leave a review on IMDB for this one, that does say a lot.

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12 Days Of Dino Dicember #43: Dinosaur Hotel 2 (2022)

To say i didn’t like the first Dinosaur Hotel is being nice, but that won’t change the fact it had some of the worst CG i’ve seen in a while, even for modern cheap low budget dinosaur flicks the effects were plainly pathetic, the premise old and already done better years before.

But since this is a modern low budget dino flick from the UK (it’s another Jagged Edge Production thingie, the same company backing the Winnie The Pooh slasher films, BTW), a sequel was bound to happen… and at least it happened fast, i guess, since only 1 year later, Dinosaur Hotel 2 hit the internet and general VOD services in some regions, and this year they dropped another sequel with Dinosaur Hotel 3. At least they keep the titling consistent and simple.

Curiously, if a movie like this would have been released in the 90s, it would have done the usual “sequel in name only” shuffle we’ve discussed countless times before, but in this case we’re doing actual sequels, for best or worst, even if it doesn’t quite matter, as we’re still doing the same idea, again, with people doing a survival game in a place full of dinosaurs, with the jackpot for the lone survivor being ONE MIL-oh, wait 10 MILLION DOLLARS, gotta outbid Dr. Evil.

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Winnie The Pooh: Blood And Honey 2 (2024) [REVIEW] | Farewell To The Flush

I was gonna delay this review… but i really don’t wanna have to put this one on The Spooktacular Eight (never gonna happen) this year or having to deal with it in 2025, so might as well catch up to the “Twisted Childhood Universe” and see how the story continues.

And i do genuinely mean “continues” because the first one didn’t so much ended as simply stopped, so half-assed was even in sequel-baiting itself, i guess because there was no more money to make it 90 minutes long, those mask really ate into the budget, or maybe not.

So yeah, in a stupid way there was even more reason to continue a story they didn’t finish telling properly (as if they didn’t planned like this, but whatever), so Blood and Honey 2 – i’m gonna use this short-hand from now – continues the merry tale that someone had make into a slasher, with Christopher Robin surviving and coming back to civilization to tell everyone of what happened…. with the expected and logical result of anyone – aside from some of its close friends and family – believing that he has gone cuckoo and maybe even murdered those girls himself.

Regardless, the incident is eventually dubbed as the “Hundred Acre Massacre” and they even make an horror film adaptation out of it, ruining Christopher Robin’s medical career and reputation even worse, basically making him a reject, a “pooh pariah” if you will.

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Winnie The Pooh: Blood And Honey (2023) [REVIEW] | Public Domain Expansion

I knew of this one, and that i eventually will have to feature it here, and i guess the moment arrived for me to actually see the damn thing when they – almost to my surprise – localized it for Halloween 2023, and put it as an Amazon Prime Video streaming exclusive.

Which does remind one of the state of the service itself, but whatever, it’s basically free, not beholden to another paid subscription within Prime Video, they bothered to even dub it, let’s not post-pone the inevitable any further.

“Inevitable” since this movie’s only reason for existing is the original Winnie The Pooh’s book falling into public domain in the US in January 2022.

So let’s be honest, sooner or later someone was simply gonna do this movie, i mean, the public domain slide is why we have so many unrelated Amytiville movies, for example.

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12 Days Of Dino Dicember # 28: Kingdom Of The Dinosaurs/ Dinosaur Valley (2022)

More relatively fresh dinosaur meat, because the grind never stops even for these.

And nope, this is not another Jurassic World : Dominion mockbuster…. kinda, it’s pretty much that, as it comes from prolific and fairly fresh GB-based low budget C-D grade movies supplier Jagged Edge Productions, better known for the recent Winnie The Pooh slasher film (and its sequels), many “Curse Of” movies about some random public domain-fairytale character turned slasher villain, Bunnyman rip-offs (i’m not joking), but also behind a lot of pretty obvious mockbusters, including releasing something called something called Freddy’s Fridays the very same year of the Blumhouse FNAF movie being out in theathers, so yeah, shame was never an option.

Among these and others, they also pump out dinosaur movies, like the previously featured Dinosaur Hotel, which in the meantime got a sequel and a third entry on the way. So yeah, this company is clearly set on being the new Asylum, or Full Moon Pictures, for better or worse.

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12 Days Of Dino Dicember #6: Dinosaur Hotel (2021)

It’s kinda sad when i get to review a dinosaur movie that came out this year and immediatly do a double-take as soon as i get a glance of the premise.

Didn’t i review this as Jurassic Games? Why must i lament the need for a more varied kind of trash?

I’m not even talking in terms of flimsy budgets, there’s no creativity to most of this modern trash, i mean, with this title you could do a spoof of Wes Anderson movies and have stop-motion wool dinosaurs in valet outfits or something, do i really have to write the scripts for you?

Also, by total absurd coincidence, it predates Squid Game, as Dinosaur Hotel was released on streaming sites in June 2021, and even its DVD release predates the worlwide September 2021 debut of the hit Netflix series. It would be easy to assume this was made to capitalize on Squid game’s popularity (especially when we’ll get to the premise), but that simply isn’t the case, it’s just another dinosaur film capitalizing on the modern interest in “battle royale/death games” media.

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