The very early December grabbag update post: Dinos, Animatronics Boogaloo, Letting It Die, PS5, and winter breaks

Time for an update post as Dicember looms very close… and is here already.

As previously announced, the first week of December i will be taking a break from full lenght reviews, which will resume on December 8th, on a weekly basis leading up to Christmas, and of course 12 Days Of Dino December.

Which will go on as always, no big changes.

I will have reviews of the new FNAF film out, and i guess the third James Cameron’s Avatar film, because that is a thing, and one i do not care for, i’d rather have Cameron work on that Alita Battle Angel sequel, if he’s willing to gamble zillions into a series, better than his First Nation alien Smurfs saga that apparently no one cares for but will see to go anyway, though the more it goes on the faster it might cull itself out (if you break records, then it becomes increasingly hard to keep doing that on a regular basis), so nevermind.

Continua a leggere “The very early December grabbag update post: Dinos, Animatronics Boogaloo, Letting It Die, PS5, and winter breaks”

12 Days Of Dino Dicember # 30: Jurassic Prey (2015)

In case you ever wanted Dino Dicember to crossbred with Shark Month, here’s your goddamn unholy wish granted, because not even dinosaurs are immune to papermacie.

As luck (or lack there of) would have it, there is a Mark Polonia produced (and directed) dinosaur flick, once again brought into the world by Wild Eye Releasing.

I could have ignored this one, but i feel like i would be haunted somewhat if i didn’t cover it this year… and my appetite for punishment it unsatiable as ever, plus this one has an even worse metascore on IMDB than i expected, below the 2 out 10, what are we waiting for, LET’S GOOOOOOOO!

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12 Days Of Dino Dicember # 26 : Jurassic Domination (2022)

In a way, there’s little i can complain about a movie like Jurassic Domination, because i pretty much known what i’m going to get from a modern Asylum mockbuster of a dinosaur film, even down to them not really marketing them anymore so even trash buffs and cinema shit seekers like me end up finding out about them years after they came out, undermining the point of a timely release dor the mockbuster to leech off a big budget tent-pole release, in this case Jurassic World: Dominion.

And yet everytime i come out slightly disappointed because i’d like for The Asylum to at least try more with the plots, since their mockbusters are even more and more detatched from the movies they allegedly exist to profit off indirectly with their bootleg low budget offering, they could try to go utterly insane with the plots if they will never improve budgets and effects to any significant degree, but why would they put any more effort if people still watch their garbage regardless?

They know people like me will start combing the internet for these kind of movies, sooner or later, so why bother? They’re so cheap to be worth it from a financial standpoint regardless, so until the well dries up completely, they won’t stop, and it’s hard to fault them for that when the Jurassic World series exists and the difference between the contenders and the “champions” is how much money they can throw at the fx budget to cover up botched or flawed scripts.

Continua a leggere “12 Days Of Dino Dicember # 26 : Jurassic Domination (2022)”

September to Dicember, the decisive schedule of things to come (final cut)

As previously said before the mid-August break, due to me also going back to the uni for a master’s degree, i had to made some decisions for the blog, the rate of posting, and so on.

Basically from today onwards, i can guarantee a weekly article/review here, and some monthly rubrics will either go away or remain in downsized version, while i also plan some new rubrics altogether.

On the upside, EXPRESSO reviews will now NOT be bound to any schedule, so they will happen on a “as soon – and if – i can make them” base, which will result in most scheduled reviews being extended or not short one. Maybe.

In terms of what’s gonna happen and what exceptions to the rules will happen, here’s the lowdown:

September will have a weekly guaranteed post schedule.

October will have a review/post every 3 days, usually for The Spooktacular Eight, which will still be around indefinitely… but not this October, as we have a retrospective pretty much already done.

November will have a regular guaranteed review every 7 days, the new standard.

Dicember will have yet again a weekly posting base…. until the 24th as while Dino Dicember is NOT coming back yet, 12 Days Of Dino Dicember IS, so from the 25th up to the 5th of January (included), we’ll have a daily review about dinosaur movies.

For the other rubrics, here’s the plan so far.

Monster March will be back.

Musou May will remain.

Pinocchiorama will proceed with a monthly pick all the way through 2023 as previously planned, though December’s entry might arrive earlier than the last day of the month due to the 12 Days Of Dino Dicember post cavalcade.

One of the new rubrics will debut in February or later.

In case of changing schedules or relevant changes i’ll have to make, i’ll update you as soon as i can.

Later for a “back to school” review!

12 Days Of Dino Dicember #16: Raptor Island (2004)

Some tales are indeed worthy of a Princess Bride style framing, as they retold time and time again.

Some are expendable TV movie fodder that will be only remembered as vague snippets of an – often incorrect – IMDB entry by generations of trash seeking cinema nerds, lured in by the dinos.

Those aren’t definitely getting any younger. Or older.

And indeed Raptor Island is one of those, where the “dino cheese” is so thick you could just read a synopsis and rightfully assume this was a TV movie for the Sci Fi Channel, because it involves a team of Navy Seals fighting terrorists somewhere in the South Chinese Sea area, stumbling on a island where a bunch of dinosaurs seem to have survived that global extinction event thingie.

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Review of Pokemon Scarlet/Violet delayed by a couple of days + the “Dino Dicember” priority rule

So yeah, it took me more time to get around and finish the game, so i need to finalize the review, revise it and shit, so it will be posted on the 23th, instead of… today.

I considered postponing it even further, like next year, but since the 12 Days Of Dino Dicember are a-coming again and i’m not skipping on them, i’m not going to.

Oh, also, because of that some planned reviews of movies that coincidentally release in the same period here (like The Fablemans) will come out in January after the “dino stuff”.

That’s it, that the post.

Bye!

Dino Dicember postponed yet again, 12 Days Of Dino Dicember will be back

I really didn’t want to make this post, but after i sat down and did some planning, i had to eventually come to the conclusion i won’t be able to make a full-sized Dino Dicember like i wanted, with daily reviews as it should be, and trying to force it with my increasingly busy work schedule will just drive me insane, hence unable to pull it off anyway.

Also, i hold off on posting this, but it would be worse if i “unleashed” this announcements in very late November.

But i also REALLY hate to do nothing dino related, so yep, 12 Days Of Dino Dicembers will be back, so bring your dinosaurs canonicals ready for some liturgical nonsense. Literally, in some cases.

In the meantime, please enjoy tomorrow’s EXPRESSO review of Black Panther: Wakanda Forever.

Noro Noro November

So, due to increasingly busy work schedule, for November i’m kinda forced to slow down the posting rate, so there will be a post every 3 days, instead of every 2 days. Dino Dicember is still planned as intended and shouldn’t see any downsizing in scope, for now.

I will keep you updated if anything changes, hoping it doesn’t because i really want to make a full month of christmas dinos.