Dino Dicember postponed yet again, 12 Days Of Dino Dicember will be back

I really didn’t want to make this post, but after i sat down and did some planning, i had to eventually come to the conclusion i won’t be able to make a full-sized Dino Dicember like i wanted, with daily reviews as it should be, and trying to force it with my increasingly busy work schedule will just drive me insane, hence unable to pull it off anyway.

Also, i hold off on posting this, but it would be worse if i “unleashed” this announcements in very late November.

But i also REALLY hate to do nothing dino related, so yep, 12 Days Of Dino Dicembers will be back, so bring your dinosaurs canonicals ready for some liturgical nonsense. Literally, in some cases.

In the meantime, please enjoy tomorrow’s EXPRESSO review of Black Panther: Wakanda Forever.

Noro Noro November

So, due to increasingly busy work schedule, for November i’m kinda forced to slow down the posting rate, so there will be a post every 3 days, instead of every 2 days. Dino Dicember is still planned as intended and shouldn’t see any downsizing in scope, for now.

I will keep you updated if anything changes, hoping it doesn’t because i really want to make a full month of christmas dinos.

Dino Dicember #31: Triassic World (2018)

Because “Mesozoic Trilobite Massacre” was too original a title for The Asylum.

But then again, someone would have corrected them, since trilobites went extinct earlier. Still, i want a movie about them or other pre-historic creatures that aren’t dinosaurs. Come on, people, make it!

And yes, this is a mockbuster of Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom, with it being released 3 days earlier, at least in the U.S. It never came in theathers in my country, or any streaming service here, but there’s a UK DVD release for it.

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Dino Dicember #30: Jurassic Predator (2018)

Yes, “Predator”, singular, this has nothing to do with Extinction: Jurassic Predators (plural), which was done because The Dinosaur Project/The Lost Dinosaurs did ok in review and made some money, so we’re gonna make another found footage dinosaur movie, with good practical effects and worse in every other aspect.

But i already reviewed that. Just yesterday.

I have to preface i was gonna review Jurassic Thunder (the one head mounted machine guns on a T-Rex) for this Dino Dicember slot, but i relented, because i felt nothing i could say will matter to a movie built on the foundation of the Dr. Evil meme, and doubles downs on its putrid shit factor, amplified and self-excusing itself due to the narrative frame of 80’s comic book and action flicks.

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Dino Dicember #29: Extinction: Jurassic Predators (2014)

I often joke or belittle the alternative titles these movie get for home video releases, but this time i feel the “Jurassic Predators” subtitle helps, since now people are gonna think more of the 2018 Netflix produced movie, not this 2014 release also titled “Extinction”. Then again, you might find this one under the other alternative title of “Jurassic Island”.

And while looking at the premise, i had to do a double take, like, didn’t i already review a movie with a nearly identical plot? And i kinda did, since it’s basically The Lost Dinosaurs/The Dinosaur Project, with a research team led by a professor or academic figure going into a jungle to protect endangered and vulnerable species, but after some kerfuffle the guides run away, the group eventually stumbles upon dinosaurs, and has to survive the unexpected peril.

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Dino Dicember #28: Gyaru And Dinosaur anime (2020)

I’d figured we do at least an anime series on the subject, not really up to review stuff like My Girlfriend Is A Dinosaur (which doesn’t have an anime adaptation anyway… yet), and it’s not like we’re drowning in “dinosaur anime”, so yeah, Gyaru And Dinosaur has been chosen as champion.

Even though this is an exception for me, not so much the subject, but the fact i choose it despite being still incomplete at the time of vetting the candidates for Dino Dicember, the COVID-19 pandemic delayed this one as well, so despite starting in April 2020, the series went in hiatus from May 17, 2020 to then resume November 20, 2020.

So this is by far the more recent piece of media to be featured here, as it just finished airing a week ago. Very, very very fresh, i’d say.

I don’t think i fully understant the term “gyaru”, but for what concerns this anime (based on the manga of the same name), it means there’s a “gal” and a cute dinosaur that look like a stuffed doll or a children mascot, especially a Sesame Street character. They’re roomies, watch TV together, eat, even enjoy being fashionable. That’s really it as far as premise goes, the only explanation for the dinosaur is that the girl, Kaede, drank too much last night and she brought it home with her.

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Dino Dicember #27: Jurassic City (2015)

From the director of Silent Night, Zombie Night, and Terror Birds (also editor for many films, including Sand Sharks, obviously), we have yet another dino flick where Los Angeles is attacked by dinosaurs… not a single giant dinosaur, because people that write the synopses for these movie (on Wikipedia and/or IMDB, depends) don’t actually watch them most of the time, or they do watch them drunk and try to piece together the plot later, because there isn’t a T-rex (or equivalent) rampaging alone through LA. Yes, the DVD cover has it, but that’s false advertising.

In this occasion the dinos didn’t arrive via a Stargate-style time portal, but were created in a lab and escaped a secret facility manned by a shadowy government squad, and due to an incident they bring an armored van (containing 3 Monolophosauruses, in the same genus as the T-Rex but acting as this movie’s raptors equivalent) inside a nearby prison, where they just brought a serial killer… and a trio of college girls temporarly detained (having been busted the night before at an obnoxious party). As the dinosaurs break free and kill most guards and soldiers, the girls and the serial killer and are now forced to escape deeper into the prison, bedgrudgingly having to cooperate.

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Dino Dicember #26: Aztec Rex / Tyrannosaurus Azteca (2007)

Thunder, thunder, thunder rex!

Actually, not quite, but i wonder why not also give the “rexes” magical elemental powers (since the Aztecs call them “Thunder lizards” in the movie itself), if we can stretch the imagination to have a movie like this, set in the 16th centhury about a group of conquistadores going to Mexico in order to search for treasure and colonialize the “savages” while they’re at it, but end up captured by the tribes, whom plan to sacrifice them to their sacred gods, T-Rexes.

I mean, i do trust in Godzilla, but ….

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Dino Dicember #25: Turok: Son Of Stone (2008)

Taking some time to spotlight this 12 years old, fairly forgotten direct-to-video animated movie about the most popular Native American dinosaur-slaying character in videogame, Turok (yes you are he).

Which is fitting, since the games themselves were based on the Turok comics, the first one titled “Turok Son Of Stone”, but before going any further, i have to say i’m not exactly that familiar with Turok in general, and what little i know comes from the first Turok videogame, and some cultural osmosis. I didn’t grow up playing Turok games on the N64, when i got my very first console the series was already quite slumming as Akklaim itself was inching ever closer to bankruptcy.

This was released alongside the 2008’s reboot simply called “Turok”… which didn’t help in breathing some life back in the series, so the planned sequel to that was scrapped and the series layed dormant until Turok: Escape From Lost Valley released in 2019.

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