[EXPRESSO] Cocaine Bear (2023) | Hidden Packages

Since Grizzly II’s actual release was never gonna cut it (because reality), this year we have a new entry for the killer bear subgenre, with Cocaine Bear, directed by Elizabeth Banks (Pitch Perfect 2, 2019’s Charlies Angels), and a masterclass in marketing by the virtue of “its exactly what you think it is and what it says on the tin”.

Even more unbelievable is that there’s an actual true life story of the titular “coked plantigrade” serving as a loose base for the plot, involving an american black bear that in december 1985 ingested a duffel bag full of cocaine, one of the many dropped via airplane by a drug smuggler that then dies out of some horrendous clumsiness.

In reality the bear didn’t kill anyone and actually just OD’d, and the poor thing now (allegedly) actually resides as a stuffed exhibit in a mall in Kentucky, which is far crueler than any of the kills done by the “Cocaine bear” in the movie, which eats some of the angel dust and then goes on a rampage through a National Forest, starting with a couple of hikers then various people that are either connected to the drug cartel or were unlucky enough to be there at the worst time possible.

And it’s a b-movie style blast of horror comedy fun, with some really graphic sequences (involving disembowling and one of the most hilarious deaths i’ve seen on film in some time), high production values, and lots of dumbass but actually endearing, funny characters (love the “pop art thug gang”). Maybe a bit too many and the final act could have a better pacing, but honestly the movie does live up to its marketing, being silly, steeped in dark comedy, exactly as long it needs to be, and very, very entertaining.

[EXPRESSO] Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves (2023) | Laugh The Die

Dungeons & Dragons need to introduction, i feel, nor i could give it one since i barely even played it at all, tabletop ain’t my thing, but i simply cannot praise the D & D community for pushing back about that OGL mess, which is extra hilarious in hindsight since that’s what you want, Wizards Of The Coast, to push an unpopular revision/change of such a rooted experience, out of the blue, and do so when you have a movie based on the license about to hit theathers.

THAT addressed to the best of my knowledge/competence, i don’t have much baggage with D & D – just making it extra clear -, so i approached the movie as a modern fun action fantasy with mages, rogues, and people turning into owlbears, as its own thing, one could say.

The plot sees a charming thief and his party of unlikely adventurers stumbling upon a forgotten relic and basically doing the “big heist” of their carreer, only to get double crossed and inadvertitly gave the relic to people that were planning to do some very, world ending evil shit with it, so after escaping prison and getting most of the old party back, they will have to get revenge, save the bard’s daughter and eventually the world from what they unwittingly aided bring upon.

It’s no wonder it got such good reception, because it’s a lot of good fantasy fun, with lots of monsters, traps and fantasy stuff, entertaining action scenes, fun & likeable characters, good comedy that also reminds us you can use quips to actually enhance jokes and characterization, not just as a substitute of actual comedy or just diffuse tension, which is “fresh” once again in this media climate, especially for the nerdy-ish inspired sides of big budget cinema.

[EXPRESSO] Pantafa (2023) | Abruzzidook

Time for a freshly released italian horror film that will probably never leave “the Boot”.

Oh yeah, the italian mish mash of Somnia, Hereditary and Babadook that apparently was wished upon by someone, with a slightly laughable title even in its original language, at least if you’re not familiar with the regional Abruzzian folktale of the “pantafica” (here’s where the italian readers giggle, reasonibly so), a sort of ghost/witch.

The plot concerns a woman, Marta, moving with her daughter Nina to the little mountain burg of Malanotte (lit “Badnight”), in hope of curbing Nina’s sleep paralysis by escaping the frenetic rhythms of city living. But it happens that the house they moved into isn’t really helping, as is the lack on any children on the streets of Malanotte, and Nina symptoms get even worse, as she begins hallucinating a ghost of sorts that while sleeping steals her breath.

And bugger me senseless, it’s a surprisingly solid, effective mesh of the aforementioned movies, as it uses Southern Italy folklore to frame the uneasy relationship between the mother and the daughter, as well as the obvious conflict between the ways of small village seeped in religious rites, superstitions, legends, etc.

It’s a shame because it would even be straigh up good, if it didn’t slip notably at the end, with some rushed scenes in the final act that feel like the director decided to kinda learn the “wrong” lessons from the movies that clearly inspired it, but still, it’s a surprisingly well produced folk horror-thriller, gripping and definitely above mere decency, and i wasn’t always sure where exactly the plot was building to, already way more than i bargained for.

Flawed and a bit frustrating in how close to being great is, but still, color me pleasantly surprised by Emanuel Scaringi’s movie.

[EXPRESSO] Super Mario Bros The Movie (2023) | Fungine Fun

Anteprima in una nuova scheda

So the new Super Mario Bros movie, the new animated one, is here, and i gotta say i’m pleasantly surprised, since it’s still handled by Illumination, which is… a prolific studio, let’s put it like that.

The plot is what about you’d expect and combines elements from both the previous film iterations of the Mario franchise, so you have Mario and Luigi as unsuccessful plumbers in Brooklyn that one day, while trying to fix a flood, get transported into the Mushroom Kingdom, where Princess Peach is preparing a plan to fight Bowser, as he got hold of the magical Super Star and is bent on world domination… after he pops the question to Peach, that is.

Yeah, there is the isekai element but the world isn’t the weird Blade Runner-looking dino society of the 1993 live action film, instead the one most audiences remember from the videogames, and i say “the videogames” because basically every popular iteration of Mario is represented, there’s even the karts and the Kongs play a not small role in it, as the movie crams a lot of action, varied setpieces and fuckton of references in every scene, making for a pleasing 90 minutes romp where there’s no downtime nor faffing about random shit to pad out the runtime.

Animation is top notch and the script (which is still very “Illumination”) it’s also a lot funnier than one would wager, so older audiences will get more laughs out of it than expected, instead of groaning their way through most of it.

If i went to see it when i was 12, i would have lost my shit, but even disregarding that, The Super Mario Bros animated film stands as a good kids movie, very fun indeed.

It’s better than the Sonic live-action films, i’d say.

There Is No Prank

So, the prank of “April 1st” this year is not only the lack of any prank, but the fact i’m gonna take a couple days off, so reviews will resume on the 4th of april, and we’ll catch up on the more recent big film releases, sorry if the last weeks were kinda lacking in this department.

Also, keeping in the tradition of this “1st april posts” i made here, i’m gonna recommend you wishlist Ena Dream BBQ on Steam, which is gonna be a free game based/continuing on the hit webseries ENA by Joel G.

Literally, that’s it, so sod off to the steam page, here’s the link.

[EXPRESSO] Shazam: Fury Of The Gods (2023) | Atlantomachia

Superhero time again, this time of the DC Comics variety, with the sequel to 2019’s Shazam, which introduced new audiences to the magic-powered hero and its origin story, before we got a DC Extended Universe entry related with last year’s spin-off film about Shazam’s nemesis, Black Adam, but honestly i’d rather not discuss of that movie again, what’s the point since their MCU attempt was such a mess that they hired James Gunn as well to reboot the entire thing?

So, talking about Fury Of The Gods, we have our boy Billy Batson and his foster siblings having to face a new menace, the Daughters of Atlas (played by Lucy Liu and Helen Mirren), who have come to reclaim a world ending artifact.

As you can guess, thanks to the new foes we get the explore the lore a bit more, learning of the origin of their powers, the world of Greek gods long gone, which also means it’s a great “excuse” to have a pandemonium style of monsters from said mythology run amok, from cyclops to harpies and manticores, and like the first you can tell this is from a horror director, because a lot of people get straight up killed (or worse) even in the prologue.

I was very pleasantly surprised by the first Shazam movie, and this one it’s just as good, being also a n everincrensigly rare specimen of superhero movie that isn’t plagued by tonal issues, has genuinely funny comedy bits (and the style of writing fits more with the protagonists being young teens), and balances well all of the aforementioned with the more emotional moments, which do feel earnest and not just there because the template says so.

Third act could have been a lil’ shorter, but still, lots of silly but genuine fun.

[EXPRESSO] The Strays (2023) | Get Orf

Despite the brief description, this Netflix exclusive it’s not the home invasion horror thriller you’d think it would be…. kinda, since it’s clearly borne of the rise of “social horror”, it’s hard to not cite the obvious one here, since The Strays it’s clearly trying to walk in the path of Get Out.

And not really working for reasons i’m gonna explain after outlining the plot.

The Strays follows a light skinned woman called Neve, which leads a successful life as a vice-president of a private school (and a very white one) in a tiny but wealthy english suburb, and is overall well regarded by her peers, while she basically 100 % absorbed and perpetuates the mannerism of the white, rich and pastoral kind, having fundraisers for “less fortunate people”, not denying that they’re black but discouraging every aspect it might entails.

She is so immersed in this performative way of living that just the sight of two new black people in the ‘burbs is enough to shock and appall Neve, believing they “have it in” for her, or whatever.

The film tries to tackle themes of racism, class privilege, internalized self-repression, the set-up it’s good and promising, but then in the second act it kinda peters out as we go in flashback mode (plus the self-serving and unnecessary chapterization of events), and despite the final sequence being intense…. it just ends in a ironic fittingly way, as, despite all the things the movie wants to address, by the end it just quits in giving actual answers, undermining its very intention for commentary.

Frustrating, as there is something here that makes it worth a punt, the performances are solids, some scene quite intense, but the characters are lacking and the execution it’s disappointly non-committal despite intentions of doing so.

Pity.

[EXPRESSO] Empire Of Light (2022) | UKinema

From director Sam Mendes (American Beauty, Jarhead, 1917, Skyfall) comes this drama set in 1980’s UK, about the cinema Empire, which used to be a majestic theather with 4 screening rooms (alongside a restaraunt), but is now on the decline due to recession and the cinema’s owner, Mr. Ellis, not really doing much to get the estabilishment’s luster back.

The soul of the place is actually his segretary, Hillary, who is the real glue holding together the place, the workers and the morale with her dedication, despite her ailing mental health and questionable love life, and she is struck by this new recruit, a black man called Steven, as they forge a difficult but sincere relationship, all made more heavy by the overwhelmingly racist tendencies that spike during periods of recessions like this period in british history.

With the expected takeaways of how cinema can be a healing escape, a brief one , while also serving as a way to mend together a broken populace that during recessions and hardships are quick to scapegoat minorities with all kinds of violence, and despite sounding a bit preachy and kinda obvious, they work as the movie takes its time to fully flesh out the characters, their relationship, their issues and how they relate to the turbolent fragment in time the movie it’s set in.

And with a top-notch cast of familiar faces giving out great performances, that helps as well. 🙂

Empire Of Light it’s definitely one of those movies that will require some patience due to arguably slow pace in its first half, but it’s worth waiting for the movie to get into gear as the set up does pays off, and the drama does pack quite the punch.

Maybe more “familiar” material than some might like, but still quite good.

[EXPRESSO] Demon Slayer: Prelude To The Swordsmith Village (2023) | Stock Breathing Style (UPDATED)

Okay, i’m not gonna sugarcoat it, this feels a bad joke to pull on the audience.

Sure, this was billed as a compilation film of the second season with the juicy carrot being the inclusion of the first episode from Season 3 of the Demon Slayer anime (covering the Swordsmith Village Arc), which will be airing normally this April, i’m not complaining about that.

But it’s not a compilation of the second season, it’s actually the final 3 episodes of Season 2 plus the never seen before episode 1 of the upcoming third season, and i would question it even being a compilation film, since they did slap the aforementioned episodes together, didn’t even bother to cut out endings, title cards, eyecatches or do any noticeable edits for better narrative flow.

I can kinda understand why only these episodes, as they sports movie level quality animation and are even better to see on the big screen, but this is supposed to be a compilation movie, so it’s a matter of editing… and even then i struggle to use that word, as they mostly added a brief gist of what the series it’s about in form of text over reused footage, and recycled the opening songs over very brief montages of battles and events leading to the action packed finale of the Entertaiment District arc, which you’re thrown upon.

Could have added some voice over narration here and there to give more context than zero or actually summarize the events leading to that, insteading of bugger all.

At least it’s not an extra pricey theathrical release, but still, this is lazy and bad even for a compilation film, complete cashgrab.

Even if episode 1 of Season 3 is quite good, just wait for the season to air regularly as it will.

EDIT 14/03/2022: i was made aware that the original trailer for the movie DID specify the contents as the movie just being the last 2 episodes of Season 2 plus the first one of Season 3, i didn’t know that since why bother seeing the trailer for a recap movie, and many news outlets didn’t quite specify what exactly was in the movie (the ones here in Italy just advertisedit as “recap movie of the Entertaiment District Arc” or something generic and non-descriptive, for once).

So i upgraded my rating to Americano to refelect, as in, it’s at least what they advertised, though this doesn’t fix the fact it was clearly marketed in a vague way by many news outlets (by choice, a malicious person might suggest), nor my complains about it lacking any kind of basic edit of the reused footage,

[EXPRESSO] The Whale (2022) | Smiling Friend

Given the rounds this movie did on Cannes and signaled Fraser return after his career got curbstomped for daring to report abuse, i need not to introduce The Whale (based on a play by Samuel D. Hunter, whom also curated the script for the movie), or his director, Darren Aronofsky (Requiem For A Dream, Black Swan, Mother!, The Wrestler).

Nor to say i was indeed looking forward to this film since announced, with high expectations.

A comedy-drama about an english teacher named Charlie, suffering from acute obesity, as he struggles to do his job remotely, fend off the constant pain of existence caused by his condition, and tries to reconcile with his estranged daughter, whom he abandoned at the age of 8 to live with his lover Alan, trying to win her back somehow, while also being visited by a young missionary boing belonging to an armageddon type of christian sect.

So it deals with some extremely heavy themes of abandoment, death, unconventional love, manipulation and sickness, and even if you argue this one of those movie engineered to make the lead win awards for “best performance”…. this is indeed what one would call the performance of a lifetime, and it does not undermine shit when the movie at the core it’s such a brilliant, scathing flurry of emotionally heavy drama, equally brutal and sweet, with some sparse funny jokes that provide brief levity before ripping your ducts open wide once again, as the misery sinks deep and the plot sees the ambivalent characters scurry in and out the house where “the white whale” resides, revealing more and more traumatic sides of Charlie’s life.

It’s what one would call a real “tear jerker”, profoundly depressing and beautiful for it.

Really fucking good stuff, highly recommended, let’s put it this way.