Asterix & Obelix XXL 3: The Crystal Menhir PS4 [REVIEW] | XXS-ix

One might wonder why i’m not reviewing this one as a Platformation Time Again subject.

That is because, confusingly, the third entry in this series of platforming-action games… isn’t a platformer at all.

Yeah, took me by surprise because why wouldn’t it be, especially now with the retro 3D platformer revival going on to this day?

Regardless, this is the third entry in the series, meaning its a brand new game developed by Osome Studio, makes sense as they handled the remasters/ports of the first two games that launched on PS2 20+ years ago, as Microids is definitely seeing a lot more return in using the Asterix & Obelix license than others, like their Marsupilami game (remember that? I kinda do and kinda not), not really a surprise, since the Uderzo & Goscinny created comic book series has been popular for decades in Europe, France obviously, but others including Italy as well.

But we’ve discussed this before, so let’s get to the plot.

The plot is also untied to the previous XXL games…. or is it?

Continua a leggere

[EXPRESSO] Furiosa – A Mad Max Saga (2024) | Scrotus Maximus

We’re back to the Wastelands with the long post-poned prequel/spin-off of Mad Max: Fury Road, Furiosa, and i’m being vague on what is is… well because it is a prequel that tells the origins of Furiosa from Fury Road, but it also not obsessed with continuity purity or that crap, understanding that these stories are not history logs, more chronicles, myths, with the inevitable variations that get told to and passed by the lore keepers and such.

As the subtitle puts eloquently, it’s a saga, it’s a legend.

The story sees a young Furiosa being kidnapped from the safe and still fertile haven she was born into by goons of a certain Dementius, only for her mother to get her back and dying while trying to protect her, with Furiosa living for years as a slave to Dementius, whom eventually grows cocky and tries to expand by taking over the territories of Immortan Joe… with middling results, but Furiosa never flinches or wavers, awaiting for a chance to exact revenge on the man that took everything away from her….

While a good chunk of the cast from Fury Road is back, Furiosa is played by Anya Taylor-Joy instead of, and honestly she’s amazing, delivering a great performance with very few lines, Chris Hemsworth is quite fun as the new douchy villain Dementius, and overall it’s great to have more Mad Max, Miller’s approach to action is still amazing, and its comic book-style post-apocalyptic desert world – and its tribalistic weird characters – is as fascinating as it always has been.

Honestly my only gripe is that it’s just not as good as Fury Road, i’d say mostly because it’s still a very good damn ride but it feels a bit too drawn out, in spite of its uber direct storytelling.

Rise Of Kong: Skull Island PS4 [REVIEW] | Unfinished Ape Works

It says something when, with 2023 almost finished and with the Daedelic Games developed Gollum game set to win pretty much all “Worst Games Of Year” lists, GameMill reminded the populace that they could be the bigger fiend, and live up to their name….not that it would take them much to achieve that since they pumped out a lot of Nickelodeon licensed titles, including 3 kart racers in the span of 4 years.

And of course, Big Rigs, as they did release the legendary western kusoge of “racing” decades earlier under their previous handle, Gamemill Publishing.

(Strap in, this is gonna be a LONG one, fellas)

This one is surprising in many ways, not because it pretty much signified the return of the licensed tie-in showelware tier garbage (they also released a Walking Dead game some months after, and it was about as good as you’d expect), giving us a whiff of how these games still used to exist in droves up until the late 2000s, but because the license itself sound a little too good for this type of publisher, i mean, the Monsterverse movies revived Kong to have him fight Godzilla.

So, how the fuck did GameMill got hold of the license for King Kong?

Continua a leggere

[EXPRESSO] Indiana Jones and The Dial Of Destiny (2023) | Show Me Your Math

Ah, yes, the final, final adventure of old film legend Indiana Jones. For real this time.

We all know nothing will stop the studios potentially doing the “Peter Cushing digital necromancy” when Harrison Ford eventually will leave this mortal coil, but, as for John Wick 4, i’m reviewing this under the assumption is gonna remain true, even more since director James Mangold (Logan) makes it manifest this is the final bout of adventure for a man that’s really too old for this shit.

Enough that Jones witnesses his history students far more excited since the moon landing just happened, but the very same day he’s approached by the daughter of an old friend, Helena, then attacked by a group of nazis that are also interested in one half of the Antikytera, a misterious artifact built by Archimedes that supposedly would grant control over time itself, and a lot of the usual Indiana Jones adventures happen with the group scurring all over the globe.

It’s definitely an Indiana Jones movie through and through, the new characters are quite likeable, the nazis are always the perfect villain for a movie like this, there’s some logic to the meta-textual swinging back to the past that fuels what is another nostalgic cinematic operation, and the director manages to capture the essence of the old movies fairly well, though the script ultimately lacks that “oomph” that would put it above a decent but expected rethread of familiar material.

And one wonders why the hell an Indiana Jones movie should be 2 hours and ½, that alone almost had me rate lower this one, but Harrison Ford alone still makes it worth it, and for a movie that’s intended as a send-off for the character, it’s a better one than Kingdom Of The Crystal Skull.

[EXPRESSO] Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves (2023) | Laugh The Die

Dungeons & Dragons need to introduction, i feel, nor i could give it one since i barely even played it at all, tabletop ain’t my thing, but i simply cannot praise the D & D community for pushing back about that OGL mess, which is extra hilarious in hindsight since that’s what you want, Wizards Of The Coast, to push an unpopular revision/change of such a rooted experience, out of the blue, and do so when you have a movie based on the license about to hit theathers.

THAT addressed to the best of my knowledge/competence, i don’t have much baggage with D & D – just making it extra clear -, so i approached the movie as a modern fun action fantasy with mages, rogues, and people turning into owlbears, as its own thing, one could say.

The plot sees a charming thief and his party of unlikely adventurers stumbling upon a forgotten relic and basically doing the “big heist” of their carreer, only to get double crossed and inadvertitly gave the relic to people that were planning to do some very, world ending evil shit with it, so after escaping prison and getting most of the old party back, they will have to get revenge, save the bard’s daughter and eventually the world from what they unwittingly aided bring upon.

It’s no wonder it got such good reception, because it’s a lot of good fantasy fun, with lots of monsters, traps and fantasy stuff, entertaining action scenes, fun & likeable characters, good comedy that also reminds us you can use quips to actually enhance jokes and characterization, not just as a substitute of actual comedy or just diffuse tension, which is “fresh” once again in this media climate, especially for the nerdy-ish inspired sides of big budget cinema.

[EXPRESSO] The Lost City (2022) | Tumble In The Jungle

It has been a fairly slow week in theathers, otherwise i wouldn’t have bothered to watch this.

No offense, but that’s the truth, it’s just that slow of a week for cinematic releases, and this was my “pick of the litter” of sorts, as i do like the premise of The Lost City (no “Z”s this time).

A successful (but fairly elusive and private) writer, Loretta Sage (Sandra Bullock) has hit series of romance novels about exotic places and centers about the male protagonist Dash, a handsome man that appears on the covers of the novels themselves with the looks of male model Alan (Channing Tatum). One day she has to do a promotional tour with Alan, only to be kidnapped by milionaire Fairfax (Daniel Radcliffe), whom believes she actually knows how to reach the lost city she writes of in her eponymous book.

Alan then intervenes to show her that he can be an actual hero instead of playing the part of one, with the two stuck in a real jungle adventure trying to get to the treasure before Fairfax does, in what almost feels like a reverse Tropic Thunder-ish sort of scenario.

I’ll be quite honest, this is a very nice little treat, as the humour is surprisingly more wittier than i expected, Bullock and Tatum kill it as the odd couple of academic loner writer and flamboyant “himbo” thrown in an actual, real jungle adventure scenario, Radcliffe it’s great in his – by now usual – unlikely & unhinged villain shtick, and the fairly frivoulous tone works as intended.

It’s a very cute that’s funnier i expected, though the comedy can be uneven, could have helped if it was a bit shorter than its 2 hours runtime.

Still, The Lost City it’s overall quite decent, almost good.

Final Verdict: Decaf

[EXPRESSO] Uncharted (2022) | Not The Erudite Henchman!

After years of delays, some vague posters showing a confused main cast that felt out of place and a trailer, the Uncharted movie its finally in cinemas pretty much worlwide, promising something with Tom Holland, Mark Whalberg and action adventure movie cliches based on a videogames that also looked at spy flicks, heist movies and Tomb Raiders as inspirations.

Personally, i had only one question in mind before seeing this: could it be worse than the shit Tomb Raider movie from 2018? Really was aggressively bored by that one and its undecisive handling of the mystical stuff, i still remember being way more frustrated than entertained when watching it.

I mean, this at least being directed by Ruben Fleischer (of Zombieland and Venom fame), so i did expect something out of it, despite the project looking very mediocre, at the very best… and i’m glad he directed it, as it moves about a great pace, the action is what you would expect from the material (and in turn the material Uncharted itself pillages/is inspired by), and there are some fun action sequences that stand out, like the airborne pirate ship battle.

It helps as it’s a very miscast adaptation, with lead actors chosen because they’re popular Hollywood faces and… that’s it, you never believe that Holland and Walhberg (or Banderas) are actually playing a character, at all, not that their characters resemble the ones from the games they’re supposed to represent, with a younger Nathan Drake that doesn’t tally up a respectable body count, because i guess Tom Holland would never do that as Spider Man doesn’t kill people, let alone with guns.

It’s not bad, it’s fine, but also the generic and lukewarm videogame movie adaptation you would expect, honestly even the games themselves have better stories.

Serviceable, though.

One Piece Unlimited Cruise 2: Awakening Of A Hero WII [REVIEW]

One Piece Unlimited Cruise 2 Awakening Of A Hero Wii cover pal.jpg

Copy Purchased
Platform: Nintendo Wii
Developed by: Ganbarion
Players: 1-2 (local)

The first Unlimited Cruise was quite the crap game, but it was a crap licensed game, so sequel…. i’d say, but i simply don’t believe this wasn’t a game split in two separate – AND full priced, too – titles just to maximize profit, as i will explain in this review.

Minor spoilers, i guess. Continua a leggere “One Piece Unlimited Cruise 2: Awakening Of A Hero WII [REVIEW]”