[EXPRESSO] Dedalus (2024) | Game Of Influence

Italian film time again, with Dedalus from director Roberto Manzetti, which premiered last December at Noir In Festival, and is now hitting theathers (during the now usual nationwide summer cinema promotional sale for European and Italian films).

The premise sees 6 influencers selected to partecipate in “Dedalus”, a highly marketed social network event that will see the partecipants compete in a series of trials, all livestreamed from a secret location, with the promise of further fame and riches.

But as the program goes on, the trails reveal themselves to be more and more dangerous, as the influencers end up caught in an elaborate vengeance plot…

It’s odd, because at times it looks like a influencer version of Squid Game, but it’s not that, yet it’s not really Saw, nor it’s akin to “PG13 non-horror Saw” that was Escape Room (there no enviromental puzzles or elaborate escape scenarios), and while it occasionally uses horror imagery and some horror adjacent material, it’s not a horror film.

I’ve seen a decent share of modern italian films that flirt with horror without having the nerve to actually commit to that, or do but give up half-way or simply don’t label themselves as such…. this one actually works well and i wasn’t left wishing it was gory, it works quite well (in spite of a shaky first act) since it is a thriller about vengeance at heart.

Also, Dedalus has some good atmosphere, good acting, some good plot twists too, i do like how utterly despicable – to be kind – its protagonists are, and while it could dig more into the modern themes – and issues of the social media world we live in – it tackles, i do like how it also avoids trying to clump together some cheap moralisms and “excuse” anyone.

E’ Gia Ieri AKA Storks Day (2004) [REVIEW] | Groundhog Days

Groundhog Day it’s a movie that doesn’t need introduction, maybe even less a review.

You might know they did actually make a sequel to that beloved Bill Murray led film… in form of a VR only game, Groundhog Day: Like Father, Like Son…. most likely you’ve never heard of it before i just mentioned it now.

But we’re not reviewing that either.

For some variety we’re instead talking about the 2004 Italian (technically an Italian-Spanish production) remake of Groundhog Day, which i’m fairly sure no one that isn’t Italian has never heard in any shape or form, called “E’ Gia Ieri”, literally translation being “It’s Tomorrow Already” but it also goes by the international English title of “Stork Day”, which sounds iffy even it’s about as accurate and correct as it would/could realistically be for an alternate English title meant for foreign markets.

You most likely already guessed why that is the case, but let’s talk plot first.

Also, just saying it now, but yes, SPOILERS of a 32 years old movie that’s far from obscure are gonna happen.

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The Spooktacular Eight #21: The Awful Doctor Orloff (1962)

Ah, good ol’ Jess Franco, the master of lesbian vampire action, the exploitation master from Spain that both film dozens of softcore trash but also worked with Christopher Lee as either a vampire or the old villian Fu Manchu, that deals in adaptations of Marquis De Sade but also completed the previously (and unfamously) unfinished Orson Welles version of Don Quixote.

I really can’t do him justice, but i did pick one of the films from before he really declined and put out some really atrocious stuff, like the final entries in the Fu Manchu series (the Castle Of Fu Manchu being the subject of a popular MST3K episode ), shit like Dracula VS Frankenstein, or even pseudosequels that cannibalizzed on Franco own’s Dr. Orloff series with reused stock footage to make in name only adaptations of Poe works, in particular his The Revenge in The House Of Usher, which is a mess and a half since it has 3 different cuts (often having different titles as well). 2 of which reuse even more footage from this 1962 Dr. Orloff film that started the series.

But let’s pretend we do not yet know of this, and let’s talk plot.

Which is not quite original, as it’s an amalgamation of Frankenstein and french classic Eyes Without A Face (especially the latter), as the titular Dr. Orloff attracts young women to his castle so he can harvest her skin with the help of a disfigured, blind assistant/henchman named Morpho (a Mighty Monarch approved name indeed).

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[EXPRESSO] Wish (2023) | “Feel the power of my MAAAGICKK!”

I was gonna skip this entirely, but since this is the animated film Disney chose to celebrate the company 100^th anniversary, i feel bound to cover it.

And it’s a special movie, but for the all the wrong reasons, as it’s a perfect crystalization of the company’s modern status, where the movie you’d rather see is the one lost in the original drafts, not the final product apparently assembled by focus groups and marketing than imagined by creatives.

The plot is about a guy named Magnifico that learned magic and created an ideal city, Rosas, on a island somewhere in the Mediterranean Sea, where he rules and fulfills the wishes his citizens entrust him.

But not all wishes can be granted, as her apprentice-to-be Asha founds out when the wish of his 100 yo granpa is still unfulfilled, then she accidentally summons a real star, making Magnifico paranoid enough to use a book of forbidden magic…

It’s a very arrogant movie that isn’t interested in pleasing its viewers, too busy up its own arse pulling a disgusting amount of Disney references and stuck wallowing in nostalgia to the detriment of everything else, while also exhibiting all the negative-cliched traits associated with Disney animated films, like overuse of musical segments, the talking animals, etc.

Plus it’s just plain uninspired, derivative, boring, the characters are utterly uninteresting and istantly forgettable, and while there was some potential, it’s all brought down by a senseless “magic system” that’s at the center of the story, even diegetically makes little to no sense and renders the final message moot.

The animation is good (even if the style reminds one of a 3DCG Netflix anime) and it’s a short sit, but this is just utter, recycled, cynical mediocrity that’s almost insulting coming from Disney, even modern Disney.

Dagon (2001) [REVIEW] | Shadow Over Galicia

Dagon, my sweet Dagon, oh what foul stench thou emits,

enough to make one sad at how it all went once again amiss,

cursed indeed by another Elder God these adaptations seem

of Lovecraft’s hate for fish supreme.

For the record, i don’t hate or begrudge Stuart Gordon’s work overall and his obvious love for the source material, i mean, the Reanimator series was also spun from a H.P. Lovecraft story and that managed to work, though it became its own thing, i am more than “ok” with that.

I mean, for fuck’s sake if that story in particular needed to be scrubbed – in adaptations – of the obniouxsly blatant racism, you’ll need to clean the Lovecraft out of Lovecraft “sometimes”.

But i also can’t deny there are reasons why fans of Lovecraft are beyond sick of the many adaptations that defy the thousand monkeys & thousand typewriters logic, and that somehow no one over decades has managed to adapt any of his stories (in films, strictly speaking) with success without fuckin things up, as in, completely destroy any attempt at atmosphere, deviate so much from the original story to the point it might as well be adapting another Lovecraft tale, AND making crap movies that are bad regardless of what author’s name they borrow.

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[EXPRESSO] Dalìland (2022) | Surrealist of The Nth Dimension

A Salvador Dalì biopic by the director of American Psycho, why did i almost miss it?

Well, there’s actually a reason that this one didn’t make much waves, as it’s a surprisingly by the numbers, skin-deep biopic about Dalì’s later years.

Set primarly in 1973’s New York, the plot follows a young gallery intern, James, who gets to moonlight as an assistant in order to motivate and ensure Dalì will produce new paintings for a new collection, which lets him see the man behind the artist, one broken by a constant fear of looming death, his excessive lifestyle that drains him in both the lifeforce and the wallet, his tormented relationship with his wife Gala, plus his Parkinson growing worse and limiting his art as well.

It’s not a bad movie, Ben Kingsley as Dalì alone saves it from being terrible or whatever, but it feels like its going through the paces, not actually interested in trying to also explain (or even depict) Dalì’s art in correlation to anything, which is reasonable since his work is far from being unseen niche stuff, but it also seems extra irrelevant, even more since there’s barely any character that feel properly nourished, or – so to say – “real”.

Plus the final act seems in a sudden rush, for whatever reason now events that would have been given entire scenes minutes before….are not, so you get the cliffnotes for important character’s life events, maybe there would have been time if the movie didn’t almost spent more time fleshing out the audience surrogate character instead of Dalì or where Alice Cooper listens to Ted Neeley spell out he was the protagonist in Jesus Christ Superstar.

It’s a mediocre, run-of-the-mill biopic, but it’s watchable, arguably inoffensive as well… which is kinda depressing in a way.

[EXPRESSO] Guillermo Del Toro’s Pinocchio (2022) | Splintered Spectacular

Years in the making, but Guillermo Del Toro’s take on beloved italian literary children classic Pinocchio is here, available worlwide on Netflix, after a very brief debut in some select theathers.

It takes many liberties from the book but does so in a way that makes it a more interesting adaptation of the story, and the changes (also needed cause of the tale being retold/reinterpretated squillions of times) do compliment that, like it now taking place in fascist WWII Italy, Jiminy Cricket being an actual character with agency and some background to him, Geppetto being more important of a character, with a new tragic backstory involving its dead, unwooden, real son.

It embraces the darker tone and themes of the original work, like, completely, far more than 2019’s Matteo Garrone take, for one, as in to committs to retain the savage nature of many events, Pinocchio’s ability of being far worse than “rambuctious”, and the often terrifying imagery, while also showing a lot of creativity in both reworking or adding new characters and lore to expand the story, give some surprises and changes to make the story interesting and different from previous adaptations, without completely transforming into something that isn’t Pinocchio anymore.

After all, this is Del Toro’s vision and if i wanted the original Pinocchio experience, i’d just read the book (which i still recommend doing, if you haven’t, btw) again.

I’d say more but i would just spoil some of the original material, so i will just bite me tongue.

the stopmotion animation it’s excellent, absolutely impeccable work, the songs are nice enough, plenty but quite brief (never overstaying their welcome, and overall i’d say this is easily one of the best adaptations of Pinocchio, like ever, and somehow able of actually living up to expectations.

Simply excellent.

[EXPRESSO] El Paramo (2022) | Thy Patience Consumed

Some really fresh (as in “new”) Netflix content for me and you, El Paramo is set in 19^th centhury Spain, where a family living in a remote house is haunted by an entity that feeds on their terror, and it falls upon the young boy Diego to save his mother from the entity… and herself.

…. or so this is premise as Netflix puts in the description. A correct synopsis that doesn’t spoil the experience, i’m not harping on that, i just prefer to describe this movie as “mother simulator”, since the mother not only has to suffer her husband basically disappearing and never coming back most likely due to the wars happening outside their isolated refuge, having to defend herself from a supernatural beast that she thought was just a legend, but also having to put up with her son, one of the most annoying and dumbass child character i’ve seen in a recent horror film.

Stupid, grating and spineless too, just in case the kid wasn’t annoying enough to deal with, even though it eventually leads to his character arc going where you would expect…but until the last act he doesn’t come off as the more sane and kind character he actually is, but as cowardly dumbass that almost makes this movie an accidental “anti-Babadook”, as for most of it i was rooting for the mother to get rid of both “annoyances”, not only the monster, and have some peace.

That said, let me stress that the movie it’s not bad, the setting it’s pretty good, the cinematography it’s also quite nice, the creature’s lore and design are spooky enough and played fairly decently for tension instead of jumpscares, and there are some atmospheric moments, but there’s just not much to it and overall it’s mostly average.

[EXPRESSO] Dos (2021) | Flesh Sewn Shut

Browsing Netflix new releases and this caught my eyes, i mean, the simple title made me curious and i’m always in when it’s a spanish horror thriller about two complete strangers waking up to found themselves literally sewn together and placed into a room.

It’s not human-to-walrus surgery, but i will indulge regardless, it’s also fairly short, clocking just above 60 minutes (plus credits), quite surprising some other bloated films Netflix has as exclusives.

It has definitely an arthouse feel (the finale with the title reveal it’s really indicative of director Mar Taragona’s ambition), but the bold decision to compact it all in a shorter runtime pays off in spades, both for impact and in cutting out the fat from the narrative.

The main mystery keeping the story going is the identity of the culprit, and of course the purpose of joining together two people by literally sewning their flesh together, which is ultimately not the Saw-esque random ass gruesome torturer with a deviant penchant for justice and retribution you might think it’s gonna be revealed. It’s not that… exactly, and it’s a shame because the script never properly explore the themes it tackles, nor manages to fully utilize the isolated setting and premise, going for an arthouse ending, with some impact but ultimately not that satisfactory.

A shame since the movie is already intriguing before that, with plenty of questions and the grisly circumstances, while the two are trying to make sense of the really uncomfortable – even more since they’re butt naked – situation they’re in, leading to some good drama and time spent with this likeable and relatable “surprise duo”.

Shame it hasn’t much depth to it as it clearly wanted, (i’d guess it was originally meant to be a lot longer), but it’s a decent watch.