War Of The Colossal Beast (1958) [REVIEW] | Recasting The Giant

Last year we tackled The Amazing Colossal Man, so it just common courtesy to cover the sequel, War Of The Colossal Beast, released just 1 year after and again directed, written and produced by the master of rear-projection cinema, Bert I. Gordon.

And yes, this isn’t just a loose remake/redo that might or might not take place after the original, this is actually a sequel, which isn’t always a given for this kind of movie, even more since it wasn’t marketed as a sequel to The Amazing Colossal Man (hence the title that doesn’t include “colossal man” in it) and the cast is different. But like the first movie, it was originally released as a double-feature, this time with another Bert I. Gordon flick, Attack Of The Puppet People, which i already mentioned in the review for The Amazing Colossal Man (and has an amazing Rifftrax version out).

After an alarming number of food delivery trucks robberies in Mexico, Joyce Manning, the sister of lieutenant Glenn Manning, starts to investigate and believes his brother, mutated into the giant, actually survived being shot by a tank and falling off the Boulder Dam, as she suspect he might be behind the delivery trucks being robbed of food.

Continua a leggere

[EXPRESSO] Seance (2021) | Spooky Slashing Schoolgirls

Late February isn’t exactly the usual “dumping ground” in terms of releasing horror movies that actually came out last year in most english speaking market, but whatever, i’m game.

Didn’t exactly heard much about this one besides being kinda ok… and i’m not gonna tell you it’s this underrated gem mistreated by a cruel and fickle press. I just can’t.

Set in an elite women’s college, Seance tells of the new enlisted student, Camille, able to join after the mysterious death of a student named Kerrie, following a prank at her expenses to try and scare her with the legend of the ghost of Eveldyne, a female student who killed herself there decades ago.

The newcomer gets herself and some of her bitchy asshole classmates in detention by standing up to their bullshit, but they do get spooked and intrigued when they try to make a seance to contact Kerrie… and it seems to work, but things soon get worse as the girls are stalked and killed like flies by someone or something …

Yeah, it’s teen slasher…. a very middling one at that.

It’s not that bad as a first time directing piece by Simon Barrett, who previously produced and penned horror movies such as Frankenfish, You’Re Next, 2016’s Blair Witch… and 2017’s Temple.

Sure, it’s pretty obvious who the culprit is, most of the kills leading to the reveal are very limp…. but it’s short, it redeems itself enough in the final act in terms of both gore and entertainment, helped by a good cast, decent acting and solid production values.

Thought it’s really predictable, and it’s basically the director hodgepotching horror cliches more to see what sticks than using them in service of a precise vision or tone, making for a watchable but forgettable and throwaway flick.

Snowmageddon (2011) [REVIEW] | Promise (NOT featuring Kohmi Hirose)

If you’re like me, you don’t need to be told that there is a deluge of disaster movies up on Amazon Prime Video, often looking so easy to review that makes you feel bad, so low hanging and free (as in, included with Prime, i’m not paying extra subscription) the fruits of this “tree” are.

So i often end up browsing, looking at the description, just adding to the watchlist and moving on, forgot i’ve even added them, etc.

This one does break the mold and managed to make me kinda intrigued, as the premise made Snowmageddon (E- for the title, btw, it could have been way more stupidier and tortured) sounded very fuckin stupid, cheesy but slightly different.

And it’s still fairly cold here, so before springtime hits proper let’s indulge in more icy TV trash, the review for the Uncharted movie it’s coming later, so please, join me in this mystical garbage dive.

Continua a leggere

[EXPRESSO] The Privilege (2022) | Frozen Daiquiri Horror Of The Chosen

More german teen horror movies via Netflix, this time with The Privilege.

A rich teen and his fittingly rich private school classmates uncover a conspiracy while investigating a series of supernatural elements.

What conspiracy, you may ask? Cannibals? Cultists sacrificing students to Nyarlatothep? Me trying to distract you from the obvious social commentary a horror movie with this title is going for?

Worry not, the movie itself will confuse you quite enough, as it’s admittely bonkers and ambitious, but not in a good way, as it throws too many sub-plots and ideas into the script, resulting in a hodgepotche that’s simply WAY too ambitious for its own good, all made worse by desperate attempts at jumpscares and shallow teen characters.

Demons, parasitic fungi, seances, creepy laboratories with corpse cultures, rites, hauntings, the movie has them all, even if leads to congestion more than fun.

It’s not bad or boring, there are some cool ideas, and it’s kinda unpredictable, but that’s also because there too much on the plate and no focus, so the movie shifts from supernatural horror to psychological thriller and even to science fiction horror, and you keep wondering how the hell this all connects together until the very end… which you will still wonder about, as the clearly rushed finale leads to the “please franchise” cliffhanger, for a movie that otherwise feel quite longer than it actually is, just isn’t scary enough and baffles more than entertains.

I don’t think it’s outright crap, but i will admit i really, really struggled to get all the way to the end of The Privilege, more frustrated and annoyed than spooked or creeped out, a real shame since its well shot, there are some good gore effects, some interesting moments and the german cast it’s quite good.

A real pity.

Girls/Dolls Frontline (2022) TV ANIME [FIRST IMPRESSIONS]

The gacha-age of anime it’s still going strong, since after the gag anime based on Girls/Dolls Frontline debutted on BiliBili… we’re now actually getting an adaptation of the strategy gacha game’s story, because why the fuck not? Why yes?

Doesn’t matter, it’s there anyway, so let’s take a look at the first 3 episodes, i did actually play this one a lot more than most of these “things turned anime girls” gacha game, since it was actually a strategy game that held some actual gameplay alongside trying to roll the best “gungirl”.

Yep, this time we have mass-produced humanoid robots virtually indistinguishable from humans called “Tactical dolls” (referred to as “T-Dolls” for brevity’s sake), named after a specific type and model of weaponry, and a very Terminatoresque plot set in the not-too-distant future of 2045, when World War III erupts and various PMCs send out their tactical dolls to fight.

Continua a leggere

[EXPRESSO] Death On The Nile (2022) | Mustache Of Fortune

I always feel a bit anxious about reviewing newer adaptations of classic Agatha Christie’ novels, since i’m not really much familiar with the often many previous ones both released in cinemas or as TV movie and-or miniseries. But i did quite like Kenneth Branagh’s 2017 film adaptation of Murder On The Orient Express, and i was looking forward to this one as well, so let’s talk about it.

It’s not really a sequel to that, meaning that aside some returning cast members, the obvious returning character of Hercule Poirot (and Branagh talking about a “Christieverse” of sorts in the long run), this is its own self-contained story that doesn’t require prior viewing of Hercule Poirot VS The Sinister Six or shit like that. Those thankfully still exist, FIY.

The basic plot doesn’t really require much explanation, as the story itself it’s pretty well known, and it’s a classic murder mistery that has eccentric and beloved detective Hercule Poirot founding himself strung into a murder case (this time committed on a river boat sailing the Nile) while invited by an acquaintance of his and “employed” by a couple to ward off a crazed stalker.

It’s definitely old-fashioned, down to the “ol’ school Hollywood” dance scenes, the story it’s still quite good and worth retelling, Branagh is phenomenal as Poirot and the ensemble cast it’s excellent, but it’s bogged down by a not small amount of not that important material, like a whole war flashback that almost entirely exists to explain Poirot’s mustache (i’m not kidding).

When it gets going it gets good, but it’s questionable if you can or want to forgive the fact the movie just takes WAY more than its sweet time to get going properly.

I personally do, but mileage might and will vary, justifiably (and rightfully) so.

[EXPRESSO] The Eyes Of Tammy Faye (2021) | Gospel Canonicus

Kinda had to review this one as it drops here just now… and it’s the only big international release in theathers. Incredibly slow week.

I will preface i wasn’t really familiar with the subject itself… because we aren’t obliged to know every cultural phenomenon America experienced, and the idea of “televangelist” it’s pretty odd, maybe it’s just that i happen to live in the country where the Pope has its own enclave state.

I just knew it was a biopic fashioned out of a previous documentary (as the movie itself says) about this couple of televangelists that between the ’70s and 80s created a media empire by estabilishing the most popular religious TV broadcasting network in the world, with all the rivalry, obstructions and scandals that are bound to happen in the television business.

At the center of it is Tammy Faye, portrayed as a woman with incredible natural charm that genuinely wants to spread joy to all people but ends up used and attacked by people that want to bring her down.

On the plus side the cast it’s great, with Jessica Chastain in the title role, Andrew Garfield as her husband (and Vincent D’Onofrio)… but it’s clearly a case where the movie was entirely built on the singular premise of “Jessica Chastain is Tammy Faye”, there’s really nothing else to this obvious surface level selling point, it’s structured as a very by-the-numbers biopic, with no intention to dwelve to any depth into its own themes.

It’s a movie that feels made to make the cast and costume designers win awards more than actually saying anything of substance about the true story and people it’s based on.

It’s not boring or awful, but it’s definitely a movie held together by the admittely amazing performances more than any real vision.

Avalanche AKA Nature Unleashed: Avalanche (2004) [REVIEW] | Rippin’!

Time to finish off this January by reviewing a random ass snow-themed movie on DVD i literally picked up for 3 bucks at a flea market a couple of days ago.

I knew nothing about it, the title is generic as hell, probably it’s a cheap TV movie, so it still fits the bill, it’s good enough to be reviewed here, i guess.

And no, it does NOT have sharks in it.

Continua a leggere

Forced Break

Due to unforeseen circumstances, today there’s no review, i really didn’t have time to even conjure a quick rewrite, so sorry, we’ll have a full lenght review tomorrow to close off January, and – as previously announced – we’ll shift to a bi-daily posting schedule, as in, every two days instead of daily posting, for reasons touched upon in the other announcement-ramble post.

Sorry.

[EXPRESSO] Nightmare Alley (2021) | Con Carny

If you’re wondering whenever you should or should not go watch Guillermo Del Toro’s latest film, Nightmare Alley (which has just released here in theathers)…. stop reading this and just go watch it in theathers. It’s 2 hours and a half, yes, but make no mistake, nothing is drawn out or superfluous, it’s one of those very long AND very good Hollywood movies that sometimes still happen.

It’s really fuckin great, so just go watch it now!

Set in the 1940s, the film follows a poor man that enters one of the many circus-fairs troupes, and alonsgide the many tricks of the shady trade, he learns that he has quite the ability as a barker, and trained by an old french mentalist-type carny, he puts his quick wit and oratory prowess to the test time and time again, until he masters them and leaves the circus (alongside his love interest) to bring his act out of the squallid, lurid and shady countryside fairs.

He manages to make a name for himself, bringing his deceptive craft to renowed establishments, living a luxurious life with his wife, but the allure of more money and fame brings him to collude with a corrupt psychatrist and perform as more than a mere mentalist…

The cast it’s great, the acting it’s stellar, the story it’s a classic period piece tale of greed and desperation about the age-old craft of tricking-conning people, the drama is excellent, the characters are great, and the love for horror imagery (and some fairly violent moments) by Del Toro it’s still strong as ever. The 1940’s America of carnies, conmen and prestige it’s alluring as its squallid, the cinematography is fantastic, and it’s enrapturing from beginning to end.

It’s that kind of arguably familiar story, but boy the execution is excellent.