[EXPRESSO] Pokemon Masters EX iOS | The Rolling Girls (& Boys)

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I usually don’t re-review smarthphone games (i did an Expresso review of the game in italian soon after launch one year ago), but since i didn’t really touch the game after spending time on it for the review, i actually enjoyed it enough, and Nintendo feels the update is so big to warrant a title “upgrade” (hence the “EX”), i will indulge this time.

As one would expect, in time they added more extra modes and stuff to do, even Pokemon eggs (alongside the stuff added as part of the anniversary update, which brought also a new interface)… but they also added freemium elements that weren’t in the game at launch, like the “energy meter”, and of course more stuff for the gacha, and this game is one of those that differentiates between premium currency gotten in-game and paid. Still, they didn’t add lootboxes or more monetization system, and admittely the game launched a little bare on content, not broken or unfinished, but DENA clearly underestimated how ravenous gamers can beat in days what was intended to be consumed in weeks or months.

And i feel bad that ultimately Pokemon Masters is so reliant in the gacha to really lure you back in, because the gameplay itself is (and was) fairly solid, as it’s basically the classic Pokemon combat formula but as a 3 vs 3 affair, with some semplification to accomodate it not being turn based, and a slightly revised system of types’ compatibility. Along with new passive abilities for defense, it’s the closest we have to a proper Pokemon game on smarthphones/mobile, and it’s the better one we got yet. Surely better than that Pokemon Rumble Rush (RIP?).

Still, a fairly good mobile game i don’t really care to play with any sort of frequency.
Or give money to, honestly.

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[EXPRESSO] Tenet (2020) | Time After Time

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Ah, yes, Christopher Nolan tale of Batman against one of his most obscure villain, Palyndrome. Or maybe it’s a live-action Tin Tin adaptation in disguise.

FIY: i watched this in theathers with social distancing enabled, but then again, i remember i’m Italy-based, which happens to be kinda lucky for me in this particular istance. Don’t go to theathers if there any chance to get the plague, not worthy it.

So, Nolan is back into the game, bringing his lavish and twisting narratives into the spy movie genre, with Tenet, where a CIA agent gets recruited for a secret mission, launched into action only knowing the word “Tenet” and that at stake is avoiding World War III. Oh yes, also, there is time travel involved, so good luck.

Like most movies that center their story about time travel, Tenet has his own specific rules (outside of the obvious ones like paradoxes), which are unique, but are also a bit confusing. The script and direction by Nolan help juggle all the time travel hubba without leaving plot holes or anything like that, but at times, even with some choices made specifically to avoid them being confusing – or more confusing -… some scenes feel too busy, way too busy. Even so, it’s always quite the spectacle, even when you aren’t exactly sure what exactly is happening, a highly entertaining spectacle, the plot is worth watching unravel all the way through its 2 hours runtime, and you have a great cast (as expected) with John David Washington, Robert Pattinson, Kenneth Branagah, Elizabeth Debicki, Hamish Patel.

Oh, yes, Michael Caine is in the movie for 5 minutes, being very british.

Good movie, even if at times confusing (not incomprensihible, but confusing), and with a tone that feel a bit too “composed”, even for Nolan.

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Die Rezensionen In Florenz

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As i read of the AV Club decision to not review The New Mutants, not because of any bias, but because the otherwise reasonable request to pay for a movie in theathers once for a critic…. it’s absurd and dangerous in the United States, were the pandemic is still in full swing, but theather chains still want to push big releases through or get people into seats by making tickets 75 cents (plus a decent probability of black death).

The AV Club has my utmost respect for this, indeed this is not a risk worth it, even for people willing to take it, this is actually a sensible decision. Potential COVID infection is not worth it for a review of any movie. Just isn’t.

So it feels incredibly odd to me that – by pure chance – i’ve already gone to theathers without any chance of death (then again, it’s kinda hard to say since yesterday i saw Gretel And Hansel in an otherwise completely empty movie theather room), and so this week i will just go, watch and then review Tenet,  just because i happen to live in Italy and the actual circumstances of this means i probably won’t die

This isn’t gloating, this isn’t boasting (as i’ve basically done nothing to deserve it), this isn’t good ol schaudenfraude, it just seems so odd, so surreal to me that i will have a review out for The New Mutants (between a One Piece retrospective and a shark movie review) earlier than most foreign sites i use to keep up with global releases and stuff.

Just…. odd.

[EXPRESSO] Gretel And Hansel (2020) | Coming Of Mage

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With this one i didn’t check any of the “discourse” or reviews from the american press beforehand, i just guessed it was a retelling of the Brothers Grimm’ fairytale focusing on Gretel’s viewpoint, and it’s not as gratuitous as it may seem at a glance, since Gretel is indeed the one to figure out the witch’s plan and ultimately kill the cannibal old hexe.

While many aspects of the story are changed or done away with as with the abandoning routine (among other things, but i’ll keep it spoiler free), the focal points are mostly kept, so we see the two siblings wandering in the woods in search of food and shelter, stumbing upon a house where a kind old woman treats the two to delicious banquets, gives them a place to stay at, and teaches them how to chop wood, how to treat illness, etc. Especially to Gretel, which might have the same epiphany as Ichigo Kurosaki…

It’s a horror retelling that leans even more into the supernatural elements, as to further enhance the absolute misery of medieval poverty, of sickness and dirt, and centers on Gretel mostly, basically turning the fable into a coming of age story, with magic, axes, great photography, amazing atmosphere, pretty good character and great acting. And as it’s the usual, any theme of feminist empowerment is made better by baskets of guts, with some grisly imagery that’s not overused.

The bigger issue would be the pacing…. i guess, Oz Perkin’s take on this fairytale it’s not a fast moving one, but it’s not that slow as other people seem to think it is, it’s exactly as long and fittingly paced as it needs to be, i feel. Then again, i saw people arguing this “actually” isn’t a horror movie (yes, yet again), so…..

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[EXPRESSO] Onward (2020) | Dad Quest

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Yeah, due to the COVID-19 lockdown, this was delayed… until theathers reopened yesterday in Italy, pretty much. For U.S. moviegoers, this will old hat, as the movie debutted there in march, but eh, what you gonna do?

After the fun but kinda pointless rethread of Toy Story 4, Pixar here treats us to a story about two brothers in a quest for an artifact to make their deceased father exist – completely, that is – for one more day, all set in a fantasy suburbia world of elfs, cyclops, goblins, station wagons, smarthphones and convenience stores, as technology advanced and made magic basically obselete over the millennia. Yes, still a better modernized fantasy world than Bright, let’s just get that out right away.

And there’s a token minor LGBT character (a cyclops cop), so token it’s made so by a single line, not bad or offensive, the character isn’t completely pointless to the plot, to be fair, it’s just….yeah, nothing to really brag about, given it’s ancillary status, but Pixar needed some social media icons for Pride Month, so…

That aside, it’s good mix of family drama and road movie, with some fun characters design, likeable characters (even if it’s another tale of getting over feelings of inadequacies, this time exploring brothers and fathers relationship), funny spins on fantasy and GDR clichès leading to some pretty good visual jokes, pacing is perfect, the moral becomes obvious but still feels earned (and the lesson at the end actually gels together with the themes), there’s even some action with swords and dragons and stuff.

Definitely a step up from Toy Story 4, and better than one would reasonably expect from Dan Scanlon, who previously directed that Cars supernatural-ish spin-off short…. and Monster University (the only review i still regret writing). Good one.

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[EXPRESSO] They Came From The Sky NSWITCHDDL | Beam It Up

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After debutting last year on Steam, FobTi Interactive’s “flying saucer 2D abduction simulator is now also available on Nintendo Switch, where it honestly feels more at home, given it’s designed primarly for quick runs, and oddly it’s NOT a mobile port.

They Came From The Sky (not to be confused with “They Came From The Skies” on PS2) definitely delivers on its title, since it’s a 2D arcade style game, with pixel art to match the premise of playing as an alien saucer, attacking the 50s with a simple goal: to abduct humans (animals as well) and make delicious smoothies with them. So the premise goes anyway, you won’t see any retro, faux 8-bit pixel gore in any detail.

Gameplay is simple, as the ufo scrolls automatically in the sky, and when you use the beam to capture humans and collect power-ups, you also change in which direction the ufo is gonna move, so timing is essential to avoid rockets or bullets from the human opposition (unless you manage to collect enough energy for a warp drive), and at the same time to keep the combo going, because it’s either a high score race in a limited time, o a survival run. Either case, you’ll see and hear Godzilla in the background.

Admittely, there isn’t much in the way of stuff to unlock (with in-game coins ONLY obtained via playing) in any “long term”, outside of 5 extra ufos with different stats, there are 3 background/cities to play in, there’s local multiplayer for max 4 players, but it definitely nails the arcade formula of simple control scheme but far from immediate (and potentially quite addictive) mastery of the combo system.

Perfect for coffee breaks, honestly. And for 3 bucks (full price), this is a no brainer if the premise intrigues your high score brain.

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[EXPRESSO] Pokemon Café Mix iOS | Got Milc?

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Another Pokemon puzzle game, another free-to-play (or more correctly, “free-to-start”, as Nintendo themselves likes to call these games) for mobile and Switch, this time with a cutesy pastel cafè aesthetic, as you manage a Pokemon cafè, operated by and for Pokemon, alongside a human girl, who acts as a general assistant-tutorial figure.

This is done via puzzle challenges, thankfully not of the “match 3” kind (we already had plenty of those with a Pokemon license), nor or the Panel The Pon/Puzzle League variety, but in turn based grid-less form, with the objective of linking together chains of pokemons, in order to activate an ability, destroy special blocks, or because of a stage requiring a certain quota of Pokemon pieces/icons to be matched.

Each pokemon has a specific ability, a specialization for a certain kind of dish (drinks, sandwiches, desserts, etc.), and as you progress you unlock more critters but also more recipes and new expansions for the cafè, which in turn introduce new elements and stage objectives, with some random chances of increasing the friendship level with a certain pokemon, who will join the staff.

The gameplay is decent, but the more free-form, grid-less style of level design makes it too reliant on abilities and consumable objects, a bit too helpful in this case, especially because you can also activate them during the stage, not just before. All to push you into buying the premium currency, which happens a bit too fast, it won’t take long to realize so with the limited energy system, timers and the extra turns costing a lot of “gems”.

While i’ve seen worse monetization schemes and freemium economies, there’s also the fact i’ve seen and played way better puzzles game. This is a very cute distraction (with a tad manipulative freemium economy), but not much else.

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Planet Of The Sharks (2016) [REVIEW] | Unchrome Shark

Planet Of The Sharks 2016

So, yeah, what happens when you mix Jaws, Waterworld and Mad Max?

You get slapped in the face by a producer, then the Asylum decides that’s gonna produce this one as well, because why not one more shark movie at this point? I mean, with the director of Sand Sharks, Android Cop and The Terminators (yes, plural) at the helm, what could go wrong? Continua a leggere “Planet Of The Sharks (2016) [REVIEW] | Unchrome Shark”

[EXPRESSO] The Grudge (2020) | The House That Kayako Built

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(finally got another chance of seeing this in theathers)

Despite the mostly negative reception in the States and the frankly stupid idea of doing ANOTHER remake of Ju-On/The Grudge…. at least it had to just be better than the 2004 american remake, and that one had the same directors of the original. Then again i haven’t watched any of the sequels yet (american or japanese ones), but i can confirm this one is a “side-sequel” meant to connect with the 2004 american The Grudge.

And this is the main problem, as it wants to not disregard the previous american movies, but also doesn’t want to rework the premise to make sense in a completely different place and culture, or to make you forget that this a western remake of japanese movie. So there a willingly suicidal tendency to this one taking place in America with an american cast (plus John Cho), but still having to originate from Japan, with the curse basically using a character as a vessel to propagate itself in a small town, where a local sheriff investigates strange murders seemingly connected to a single house, all told in a non-linear fashion (as you’d expect) with the characters acting as “chapters-victims”.

It’s kinda tragic, because Nicolas Pesce manages to craft good characters and make you care about them, the drama is decent and the acting good, but when it comes to the horror parts, you’d wish the movie didn’t bother at all, even without throwing into the mix the trite j-horror movies cliches, or stuff that “has” to be here regardless, just because it’s The Grudge. The open ending doesn’t help.

Definitely a step up from the 2004 The Grudge, but please, let this type of “reboot/remakes of japanese movies” stay where it belongs. In the past.

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