Frankenstein VS Baragon / Frankenstein Conquers The World (1965) [REVIEW] | Atom Heart Monster

Strange as it may sound, you really can’t talk about King Kong and Godzilla beating each other up without talking about the Frankenstein’s monster, but we already talked about the backstory of the original “Monkey VS Nuclear Dinosaur” kaiju flick in its review, so let’s just say that this movie is actually Toho bringing back the partially scrapped idea of having Kong fight a monster created by Frankenstein for King Kong VS Godzilla, which would itself spawn a follow up a year later, with War Of The Gargantuas. And of course, tasking yet again Ishiro Honda to direct it.

Also, this one introduces a monster that would eventually cross into the Godzilla franchise, Baragon, not be confused with another, completely different but – for pure coincidence – very similar looking (at a glance) monster from the Gamera franchise, Barugon, with a “u”. A minor monster, brought back just for the giant monster brawls installments of the Godzilla series (where pretty much every frigging Toho kaiju was invited for a quick cameo), but here the main antagonist to the “Frankenstein” monster, as the original japanese title makes it abudantly clear.

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Bermuda Tentacles (2014) [REVIEW] | BDF BDF BDF BDF BDF BDF!

You work at The Asylum. SyFy has commissioned another movie, it is a day of the week.

You’re told no sharks, no tornadoes, no dragons, no spiders (giant or normal size) or any combination of these.

No, the monster can’t be made of lava, trapped at the bottom of the sea (being trapped under the sea floor counts) or from another dimension.

The note just says:

“the american president is in danger, after the Air Force One got hit by a tremendous thundestorm just over the The Bermuda Triangle. The _______ is sent in to retrieve the president, but a giant ____ emerges from the deep, potentially posing a threat to America and the world. You are a bad enough dude to save the president.”

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Dino Dicember #30: Jurassic Predator (2018)

Yes, “Predator”, singular, this has nothing to do with Extinction: Jurassic Predators (plural), which was done because The Dinosaur Project/The Lost Dinosaurs did ok in review and made some money, so we’re gonna make another found footage dinosaur movie, with good practical effects and worse in every other aspect.

But i already reviewed that. Just yesterday.

I have to preface i was gonna review Jurassic Thunder (the one head mounted machine guns on a T-Rex) for this Dino Dicember slot, but i relented, because i felt nothing i could say will matter to a movie built on the foundation of the Dr. Evil meme, and doubles downs on its putrid shit factor, amplified and self-excusing itself due to the narrative frame of 80’s comic book and action flicks.

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Dino December #18: The Land That Time Forgot (2005)

Of course we’re not reviewing the original novel by Edgar Rice Burroughs, or the more known 1975’s adaptation by Amicus. We’re doing the 2009 one, done by The Asylum, which in a way it’s kinda fitting, and… kinda isn’t; sure, it’s about dinosaurs, but usually the company sticks to ripping off Jurassic Park and whatever it spawned over time (including the Carnosaur series), not so much in adapting Burroughs. Almost as surprising as the lack of many adaptations this story received, very little in comparison to Arthur Conan Doyle’s The Lost World.

The story follows the same premise of the book (which didn’t start off but in the later parts develops into a “lost world” story, as popularized by the aforementioned Conan Doyle’s opus), but it set in modern times, it involves frigging portal/dimensional rifts the group of main characters, which aren’t soldiers but just some random persons that were doing some “extreme vacation-activity” thing. Given this is an Asylum production, i’m not really surprised, i mean, they’re not gonna try to film it as a period piece, you just know they ain’t going to… and they don’t.

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[EXPRESSO] Waiting For The Barbarians (2019) | Attila, Scourge Of Odd

Based on the novel of the same by J. M. Coetzee, Waiting For The Barbarians is one of the recent italian productions made with the international market in mind, with Robert Pattinson….but also Johnny Depp, who is still getting work, despite everything.

Let’s leave it at that for the sake of the review, ok?

Taking place in an indefined frontier outpost near the border of an unknown empire (even though they look like british frontier soldiers), the movie follows the story of the Magister, who is close to retirement as Colonel Joll arrives, tasked with security and gathering intel on the “barbarians”. But as he outrights searches these people to capture and torture them in public,tries to stir a full-out war, the Magister has second thoughts, gets accused of treason, etc.

And it’s a frustrating one to review, because there is ambition, the cast is good (mostly), but the movie isn’t as “deep” as it thinks, it’s a story about “the horrors of war and the monstrous need for an enemy to exist”, that is obvious right away, for every character in the movie… beside the protagonist, the Magistrate, who seems to be surprised by anything that happens, and makes you wonder how he can possibly be so absurdly naive.

Way more than he’s intended to be, to the point of it being laughably cartoonish and dissonant with the otherwise more realistic scenes of torture, corruption and.. well anything. And the movie is also slowly paced, like its main protagonist it spends ages yet again re-iterating on the beyond obvious messages and themes. Doesn’t help that Depp also plays a cartoonish “nazi frontier general” villain, even more caricatural than usual.

Shame, because it has some inspired moments, it really does, but in the end it’s kind of a mess.

Ghost In The Shell: Stand Alone Complex 2045 – Season 1 (2020) [REVIEW] | Neural Netflix Interface (UPDATED)

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Last year we got two anthological multi-authorial Ghost In The Shell volumes (Ghost In The Shell Comic Tribute and Ghost In The Shell: Global Neural Network, each with many artists and writer tributing the Masamune Shirow’s manga in their own way.

Now we finally got a new anime series, Stand Alone Complex 2045, streaming exclusively on Netflix, with the first season being available from the 23th of April, and the second one planned but with no certain release window, though it will arrive for sure, not just because it’s confirmed, but because the original Stand Alone Complex series had 2 seasons as well, and this is set-up as a continuation of sorts.

In the meantime, let’s look at the first season, directed by Kenji Kamiyama (Shinji Aramaki is set to direct the second season). Continua a leggere “Ghost In The Shell: Stand Alone Complex 2045 – Season 1 (2020) [REVIEW] | Neural Netflix Interface (UPDATED)”

Earth Defense Force 5 [PS4] REVIEW | Frogs From Planet Space

Moments of crisis are what unites us, especially in exterminating space bees and shouting “ EDF ! EDF! EDF! EDF! EDF!” from the safety of our own homes and away from something worse than bouncing giant spiders and ETs with laser guns!

Time to review Earth Defence Force 5, the latest in the main EDF series! Continua a leggere “Earth Defense Force 5 [PS4] REVIEW | Frogs From Planet Space”

Azur Lane The Animation 2019-20 [REVIEW] | The Bone Of My Boat

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Ah yes, one more for the evergrowing subgenre of “shipgirls military slice of life”, less Arpeggio of Blue Steel, and more Kancolle/Kantai Collection, which is obvious as hell as Azur Lane (by chinese companies Manju and Yongshi) came out to fight Kadokawa’s browser game, but actually bothered to give it more actual gameplay, implement less taxing gacha elements (which is akin to say “less rusty gambling hooks piercing my flesh”), and actually made it easier to access worlwide without any need to know japanese, use google translate constantly or set a VPN, just released an app for smarthphones.

And given it performed quite well (even in Japan), it was just a matter of time to see an anime adaptation of sorts, which came out in late 2019…not fully, as two last episodes were postponed to march 2020 after concerns on animation quality. I thought it was due to fans expressing criticisms on social media, but it seems it was mostly the staff itself’s decision in order to deliver a better and satisfying ending to the series instead of rushing it, which is commendable, and gave me time to catch up. Continua a leggere “Azur Lane The Animation 2019-20 [REVIEW] | The Bone Of My Boat”

Azur Lane Crosswave PS4 [REVIEW] | You Are A Boat

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Yeah, an actual videogame devoid of the gacha free-to-play trappings, based after the “Kancolle Killer” smartphone title that basically positioned itself as a Kantai Collection clone (not quite, but it’s obviously aimed at the same demographic), one easily available pretty much worlwide instead of a japan only browser game requiring VPN and troublesome hoops to jump through and compatibility errors if you want to play it.

It’s an odd concept to have a proper videogame that you pay to own as a spin-off of a free-to-play estabilished/borne series, almost emblematic of the state of the market and this “era” of gaming, but it’s interesting from a conceptual standpoint, and now you don’t have to import it from Playasia, as it came out, even in physical retail form, in Europe and the States. Still kinda surprised by that.

I preordered the “super duper hyper” edition with all the tat and OST and artbook, but maybe i’ll eventually review the Limited Edition contents by themselves, they don’t factor into the actual PS4 videogame at all. Continua a leggere “Azur Lane Crosswave PS4 [REVIEW] | You Are A Boat”

[EXPRESSO] 1917 (2019) | Trench-A-Live

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The director of American Beauty and Revolutionary Road (also behind the last two Bond films, which i simply didn’t see) is back to the war epic 25 years after it’s own Jarhead, so yeah, it’s quite understandable all the buzz and expectations surrounding it, but i gotta be honest, i wasn’t exactly hyped, since the self-explanatory title tells you right away it’s set in WWI, but still, a more interesting proposal than going back to WWII (or Vietnam) again.

Set at the zenith of WWI, the film centers on two british soldiers stationed in northern France, Schofield and Blake, tasked to deliver an order from HQ, which tells of an upcoming surprise attack planned by the retreating German army. With thousands of lives on the line, the two must race through the hostile Western Front to call off the attack, and for Blake is personal, as his brother is in the squadron they’re trying to save.

Like you’ve probably heard by now, the movie is shot in a faux one-take, as to create a seamless single and constant feed over the lonesome journey through the Western Front, to emphasizes the urgency and stakes for everyone involved, capture the atmosphere of the desolated wastelands of the trenches as the character themselves wade through the dismal sceneries and confront the realities of the conflict, despite their task being oblique and minor in the grand scheme of things.

And yes, it works beautifully, making for an intense and captivating experience that doesn’t just rely on a “trick”, as the events and characters are intriguing themselves, making for good drama that is enhanced by the amazing camerawork and directorion, as is the terrific cinematography, the movie is worth seeing on the big screen just for that. Not for Cumberbatch, as he’s barely in the movie.

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