[EXPRESSO] The Ugly Stepsister (2025) | Body Horrorella ( 🎶rella rella rella 🎶)

So we’re doing a horror version of Cinderella, and it’s not a Jagged Edge Productions joint?

Color me surprised, it’s an actual film with real budgets, a Norwegian produced retelling of the Cinderella fable in a more twisted fashion, with the widow Rebekka marrying an old nobleman that almost immediatly dies, meaning her daughters Elvira and Alma are joined by their new step-sister, Agnes, a stark contrast to Elvira, who’s considered fat and ugly but is groomed (as is prepped) by her mother to undergo grueling surgery and training to become beautiful, in order to marry into royalty, especially the prince, whom Elvira pines for.

It’s a satirical black comedy take on the fairytale (also taking some of the more graphic ideas from the Grimm’s version) that’s also heavy on body horror, because The Substance made that a trend again…. and surprisingly a lot of straight up gross out graphic content, both played for humour as well as simple shock value.

If you expected a more psychological horror affair this ain’t it, The Ugly Stepsister will see horror films that have subtlety and nail their hypothetical balls to the walls, and put salt maggots on the opened sack, as it revels in its bluntness and its “period piece” with faux classical styled version of modern pop songs in the background.

It is funny, the main conflict between Elvira and Agnes is compelling as neither is depicted as an actual “evil” figure, as their pushed into it by societal standards, but on this regard, anything else that isn’t about them (well, mostly Elvira) feels underdeveloped or lost in its own stylistical pot-pourry, like how the satyrical, modern feminist take on the fable almost ends up reafferming the very values its so obviously wants to mock.

Still quite entertaining and decently realized.

[EXPRESSO] Together (2025) | Unitology Romance

A couple in their 30s, Tim and Millie has decided to move to into the usual house in the middle of the woods, making a radical change in their lives, basically being very distant from their former friends, acquaintaces and workplaces, while also going through a rough patch.

As they try to adapt to their new home, they stumble upon a hole in the ground where they meet with a supernatural force that brings them together, literally, as their bodies become magnetized to each other, and their flesh starts fusing as one…

Together is directed and written by Michael Shanks, and if nothing else the main performances by Franco and Brie are more than good enough to help carry this movie through its flaws.

For example, it just feels it was haphazardly built upon the setpieces, with everything else around it feeling like crutches that exist only to provide some token structure, uneven pacing while the main basic theme of “codependency body horror” remains surface level from start to tend, the character’s motivations seems murky and contrived, confused as its messaging, to the point some might read the final twist as a trans allegory… though was probably never meant as such.

Plus, the main concept itself is very basic for the subgenre, the idea is decent enough (though it allegedly rips off the short “A Folded Ocean” by Ben Brewer) but the execution confusingly making wonder if the film itself it’s afraid to result uncomfortable….a body horror movie, mind you.

Yet, Together has a decent atmosphere, it’s decently directed, it’s technically quite sound too, and it’s not boring, it’s – again- decent, definitely not a bad debut film but just feels like it’s “close but no cigar”, with issues that a couple of rewrites (or more experience) could have fixed.

The Spooktacular Eight #27: Possessor (2020)

While unearthing gems or trash champions of yore is fun, i also want to cover more modern films in this rubric, and today we remedy that by reviewing a film that i feel somehow was ignored or put to the sides, more due to its unfortunate release timing than anything else.

I mean, if 2020 didn’t hit the world with a pandemic, maybe this and the Invisible Man remake/reboot would be better known, not that they’re “obscure” or were treated as pariahs by the press.

“This” being Possessor, a sci-fi horrot thriller by Brandon Cronenberg, yes, the son of body horror maestro David Cronenberg, who’s still making movies of varying quality, like the more recent The Shrouds (and the 2022 Crimes Of The Future movie that isn’t actually a remake of his older film of the same name).

The premise is immediatly gripping, set in a cyberpunk-ish future where an assassin, Tasya Vos, carries over her murderous assignment by possessing other people bodies, but finds herself fighting for control of her lastest host body, belonging to a man named Colin, the boyfriend of a wealthy CEO’s daughter, whom is also being forced at his data mining company in a menial role.

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[EXPRESSO] Queer (2024) | Bum Fancy

FIY, i did skip Challengers because i was kinda not feeling to see another romance movie by Guadagnino, especially one that’s also a sports drama about tennis (i wasn’t too fond of Bones And All either), but i heard of the troubled distribution Queer had, leading to just release in theathers here a few days ago, and i was curious.

Based on William Burroughs’ novel of the same name, Queer is set in 1950s Mexico City , where the protagonist, Williams Lee, a nearly middle aged gay man, lives his expat with occasionally mingling with the few people in the American community living there, having tryst with other men, until one day he meets this young new student, Eugene, whom just arrived in town, giving him hope he can finally have a real, intimate connection with someone, not just on a physical level…

as you might have assumed, it’s a virtually plotless affair, as it more a sequence of accidents and events started by Lee that “drags” Eugene into sex, drinking like a sponge, with the third act basically having the movie go jungle adventure in search of ayahuasca (because of its rumored “telepathy powers”, not to talk to Yakub), have a romantic body horror sequence then straight up propose its own junkie version of “those” notorious 2001: A Space Odissey scenes.

While i wish it ended a bit earlier than it did, to be honest i was captivated, there are indeed some performances of a lifetime here, it’s as excessive as all Guadagnino’ movies are (see also the deliberately anachronistic musical choice and swinging sense of “realism”), you expect them to be, you want them to be, and this one admittely did grab me a lot more, not great, but indeed good.

Worth a watch, at the very least.

[EXPRESSO] The Shrouds (2024) | Altered Feast

After premiering at last year’s Cannes, David Cronenberg new movie, The Shrouds. is finally out in most countries.

The plot sees Karsh, a man that lost his wife Becca 4 years ago, now finally having found a way to handle his grief… by creating GraveTech, a company that makes high tech shrouds to conserve and look upon the bodies of your beloved ones via a system of cameras and displays integrated into the tombstones. Mostly though Karsh can look upon his wife Becca even after death. As you do.

That is, until Karsh notices some strange matter growing on Becca’ remains, then acts of vandalism and hacking hit Gravetech, apparently by some Irish ecoterroristic groups, but discussing and searching for the culprits leads Karsh into a rabbit hole of potential conspiracies…

And i will have to say i’m a bit disappointed, i am, for reasons that might seem odd, as in, the director isn’t trying to shy away from the style of film he’s known for in its old age, quite the opposite, but even more than with 2022’s Crimes Of The Future, here it’s almost like he decided to crank up “the Cronenberg” to borderline parodical degrees.

But it’s so done in earnest (Cronenberg himself said this is most personal film) it’s hard not to be intrigued, to wanna see where things will go, even with the constantly slow pacing and the body horror/romance challenging itself to go even darker and weirder, i was into into it despite the issues.

… until the kinda abrupt ending, while thematically coherent it just kinda stops, i don’t mind slow burn thrillers at all but there’s no proper pay-off to stuff that maybe should have been answered.

Still decent and absolutely worth a watch if you remotely liked any of Cronenberg’ works.

[EXPRESSO] Wolf Man (2025) | “Get away you weirdo monkey man!!”

Leigh Whannell continues his “remake rumpus” of the classic monsters following up his 2020 releaed The Invisible Man (and the whole Dark Universe failure) with his take on the Wolf Man.

The story revolves around a family on vacation in a house in the woods of Oregon, with the father trying to use the unfortunate circumstances that brought them there in order to mend his strained family situation, then being bitten by a strange animal while protecting his wife and daughter, and gradually transforming into a beastly creature…

The themes of “sins of the father/parental neglect-abuse” are interesting for a werewolf film, as it the idea to opt for body horror, to focus on the slow transformation to parallel the father’s descent into the brutal, alienated and alienating monster that once walked the skin of a man, and i’d never felt like the idea didn’t work or the script didn’t quite click, nor like there was some “filler”.

Nothing like that.

Honestly, it’s far from bad, but it also frustates me as being so close to being straight up a good, because it’s quite decent but it’s bogged down by feeling honestly uneven, starting good, delivering on the tension, on the claustrophobic atmosphere, even managing to make you care more than you’d wager about these characters that at a first glance feel generic… and honestly never proper bloom, despite the good acting, especially by Christopher Abbott (yes, funnily enough) as the father.

That combined with some questionable special effects, some retreads on cliches, the movie never achieves the emotional depth it soughts to, so it ends up feeling incomplete, like something is plain missing, uneven in execution and underdeveloped where it counts in spite of clear effort.

Not bad, at all, just… kinda disappointing, especially considering the talent involved.

Pity.

[EXPRESSO] The Substance (2024) | Perfect Yous

From director Coralie Fargeat (previosly known for 2017’s Revenge), The Substance tells the tale of a middle aged star, Elisabeth Sparkle, a forgotten movie star also known for her aerobics program that for her 50^th birthday gets laid off by her dipshit sleazy producer because he thinks she too old.

Later she is given an USB key with a video promoting a black market drug called “The Substance” that promises a new, better, sexier, younger you, if you remember the simple rules the promo laids out, which include respecting the balance of days between the “old” and “new” you.

But worry not, this is not a set up to a Perfect Blue/ Black Swan scenario… not quite, because this is the kind of movie that takes that general idea and decides subtext is for the meek & weak, so in this case the premise is far more literal than you could expect, more of a body horror, entertaiment biz oriented pastiche between Dr Jekyll and Hyde, Seconds and The Neon Demon, with an exploitation style to it.

It’s in the way The Substance handles these ideas that it finds a fresh variation/angle in tackling the subject matters and themes of feminism, the cycle of power and abuse, mercification, self-loathing, using satire as blunt as they get, with some frankly stellar performances by the cast.

The ending is a bit hockey as it’s an odd mash of references (in a movie that maybe does get carried away in tributing other films) that almost feels like a joke on purpose made to deliver a smorgasmboard of spectacular gore effects… one i’m willing to 100 % accept, since it also serves as the perfect cap of a story about self-destructive spirals and excess.

Regardless, it’s one hell of a ride i highly recommend.

Pygmalion (manga) [REVIEW] | Ore Wa Cyprus Ou Ni Naru!

It’s not exactly encouraging to see the boxset for a 3 volume horror manga called “Pygmalion”… having on the back cover a pig amusement park mascotte drenched in blood.

(yeah, i bought this on a whim without doing any research while visiting my local comic book shop)

Not random per sé, as the story IS about a rampage by mascottes during the National Mascotte Festival in Japan, after a series of weird announcements that trigger the suited creatures to go on a massacre, and Keigo is separated in the following chaos from his younger brother Makoto…

Still, i feel a refresher about the myth of Pygmalion is needed, just in case.

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[EXPRESSO] The Animal Kingdom (2023) | Goo goo g’ joob

The Animal Kingdom is a movie of many things, as it has superhero-ish and body horror elements, but it’s actually a fresh thriller-coming of age French movie from director Thomas Cailley, about a nearby future where a bizarre disease start turning people into animal-human hybrids – called “critters” by the populace – needing to control and herd them into contaiment facilities.

The plot sees a teen, Emilè, and his dad, a cook, move out to a small town in order to stay closer where Emile’s mother is being treated for her mutation, obviously keeping it a secret from everyone they met, a task that becomes harder as Emile’s mom, after an accident with the car trasporting them, escapes in the surrounding wooded area, alongside other “critters”, and nearly impossible as Emile himself notices he starts to mutate, with newfound fur, claws, and other bodily alterations..

Despite the Island Of Dr. Moreau-like premise, it’s mostly a thriller and a coming of age film, as Emile matures and goes through more than the usual teen changes, makes friends, and how the world around him reacts in various forms to these mutated “kemono people”, serving the expected but still well tackled themes of racism, tolerance, love, and mostly about freedom.

And yet, even if it seems like The Animal Kingdom it’s trying to juggle too many elements at once, the final result is quite interesting, as it manages to handle the themes and ideas very well, giving them a fresh spin, one that works by putting at the forefront the well characterized father-son duo and the drama that follows from the situation, harvesting it to end up on an empowering and understanding, almost tender note.

Even better, the effects are honestly great.

A nice surprise, one i recommend checking out whenever you can.

Pinocchi-O-Rama #6: √964 Pinocchio (1991)

Have i gone completely insane, spotlighting this one for a Pinocchio-inspired retrospective?

But then again we never talk about some good ol’ japanese cyberpunk body horror… and i guess today is no different because we’re talking about 964 Pinocchio.

Also called “Screams Of Blasphemy” for its UK release. Whatever.

And no, i still have no clue if the numbers in the title mean anything aside indicating that there were other 963 “pinocchio/sex slaves” manifactured before him, since he’s got that tattooed on his back, branded like an utility.

Honestly i wasn’t sure about including this one, but for variety’s sake, fuck it, i’m not reviewing Pinocchio In Space. Despite the obvious allure.

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