Yeti: The Giant Of The 20th Centhury (1977) [REVIEW] | Italo Disco King Of The Kong

It’s still january, it’s still cold as hell (proper Dante Alighieri hell), so it’s time to shovel up and unearth a yeti movie from the motherland, with the forgotten Yeti: Il Gigante Del 20° Secolo from director Gianfranco Parolini (credited as Frank Kramer), often called just “Yeti”, “Big Foot” (yeah, that helps a lot, thanks) or with a direct – and accurate – translation of the title in english, as Yeti: The Giant Of The 20^th Centhury,

Italian-canadian kaiju yeti-xploitation, can’t go wrong with that!

Yeah, digging this gem out to also celebrate the new trailer for Godzilla VS King Kong !

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Dino Dicember #2: Raptor Ranch / The Dinosaur Experiment (2012)

Because Jurassic Farm was too obvious, or lacked the everpopular combo of assonance and allitteration. Still better than the other alternative title this movie goes under, you don’t get much more generic that “The Dinosaur Experiment”.

Just make it nice and obvious for everyone.

Now i would discuss the plot, but there’s very little in that regard. In Fossile Ridge, a reclusive mad scientist has been secretly experimenting with bird DNA, and managed to make dinosaurs while hiding in a Texan cattle ranch. One of the dinos escapes, starts killing people, which prompts the FBI and the local police to investigate.

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School Girl Zombie Hunter PS4 [REVIEW] | Underpants OF THE DEAD

Today Oneechanbara Origins, the remake of the first two titles in the series, launches officially on PS4 and Steam, so let’s rivisit that spin-off of sorts Tamsoft made in 2017, branded as “Zombie Panic Shooting Action”, happening in the Oneechanbara universe. Kinda. Maybe.

Yes, the retail PAL version does exist, i have it!

But it’s also available digital for PS4 and Steam.

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Oneechanbara: Bikini Zombie Slayers WII [REVIEW] | Carpal Zombie Syndrome

As i said in the review of Bikini Samurai Squad, D3 Publisher released that and this Wii exclusive the same year in western territories. Aside being a fairly logical choice to do a “double feature” with games clearly drawing heavily from exploitation cinema of the 70s, these two games happen to be sequels, main installments in the Oneechanbara, as Bikini Zombie Slayers (“Oneechanbara 4”) is set after Bikini Samurai Squad (“Oneechanbara 3”), and features all characters from that game.

The story itself… it’s hard to say it has a plot. I played it years ago and completely forgot anything about the plot, so i had to google it and even that didn’t yield any synopsis, so i had to bust out the game’s physical manual, the old, old school way. One that would never fail… if they actually print any kind of story in the booklet to begin with.

They didn’t in this case.

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Oneechanbara: Bikini Samurai Squad X360 [REVIEW] | I Spindle On Your Grave

To celebrate the western release of Oneechanbara Origins coming October 14th, let’s look back at a couple more titles from the series (i have already reviewed the first 2 games, if you’re interested). Due to even more atrocious time costraints, i won’t be reviewing Oneechanbara Z or it’s sequel, not this year.

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Dangerous Waters: Shark Attack/Spring Break Shark Attack (2005) [REVIEW] Teen Sharks, GO?

Dangerous Waters Shark Attack AKA Spring Break Shark Attack 2005.png — **Yeah, not a clear edit. Good lord, at least have matching fonts.**

This is actually Spring Break Shark Attack, but sold on home video as Dangerous Water Shark Attack, like in the UK DVD version, which also sports a cover trying to imply a more grim tone to the titular shark attack, totally trojan horsing to the shark movie aficionados a movie with such a generic name, making them think this is The Reef.

Really, even Jersey Shore Shark Attack had more to it, even if it was due to mixing together (and unofficially) two different – yet perfectly compatibile – flavours of trash, this is exactly what it says on the tin, and one that must have required very little brainstorming. Shark movie. Spring break. Teens played by “not quite teen” actors. Bikinis. Send tweet. Send script. Print. Beautiful. Continua a leggere “Dangerous Waters: Shark Attack/Spring Break Shark Attack (2005) [REVIEW] Teen Sharks, GO?”

Shark Attack 3: Megalodon (2002) [REVIEW] | Meme Sharks

Shark Attack 3 Megalodon 2002.png

Yeah, reviewing the previous Shark Attack movies was just a formality of sorts, more for completition’s sake and to have an excuse to watch them.

This is the Shark Attack movie you knew and (apparently) loved, and it doesn’t need presentation for many internet denizens of a certain age, since it spawned some really legendary, popular memes on an internet where “meme” wasn’t a common term at all, and had clips do the rounds of forums and boards. Continua a leggere “Shark Attack 3: Megalodon (2002) [REVIEW] | Meme Sharks”

Shark Attack (1999) [REVIEW] | Nu Sharks

Shark Attack 1999

It’s 1999. 2 months before Deep Blue Sea hits american theathers, another TV movie about sharks is released, to fairly negative reviews. Not that this will stop Shark Attack 2 and Shark Attack 3: Megaladon to happen the following years.

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Swamp Shark/Killer Shark (2011) [REVIEW] Bayou Boyah

Swamp Shark AKA Killer Shark 2011

Since i couldn’t find a copy of Mississippi River Sharks NOT dubbed in hindi (not offense, but i don’t understand a lick of it), i’m doing this one.

Never heard of it before, just randomly happened upon it while browsing Amazon Prime Video, under one of its alternative titles, the imaginative “Killer Shark”.
Compared to the choking hazard sharks, i guess. Continua a leggere “Swamp Shark/Killer Shark (2011) [REVIEW] Bayou Boyah”

Cruel Jaws (1995) [REVIEW] | Editing Sharks

Cruel Jaws 1995

How could i do a shark movie extravaganza without covering one of the most notorious pieces of “sharkxploitation”, especially if it comes from the motherland?

Italian exploitation cinema had always been very quick at tapping into trends (even inventing one, with the cannibal craze), but even without waiting for a resurgence of the shark movie (Jaws was released 20 years before, remember), many genre directors were quite happy to pump out monster movies like this regardless. And of course Bruno Mattei (credited as “William Snyder” here) wasn’t one to back down from anything. Continua a leggere “Cruel Jaws (1995) [REVIEW] | Editing Sharks”