School Girl Zombie Hunter PS4 [REVIEW] | Underpants OF THE DEAD

Today Oneechanbara Origins, the remake of the first two titles in the series, launches officially on PS4 and Steam, so let’s rivisit that spin-off of sorts Tamsoft made in 2017, branded as “Zombie Panic Shooting Action”, happening in the Oneechanbara universe. Kinda. Maybe.

Yes, the retail PAL version does exist, i have it!

But it’s also available digital for PS4 and Steam.

Continua a leggere “School Girl Zombie Hunter PS4 [REVIEW] | Underpants OF THE DEAD”

Oneechanbara: Bikini Zombie Slayers WII [REVIEW] | Carpal Zombie Syndrome

As i said in the review of Bikini Samurai Squad, D3 Publisher released that and this Wii exclusive the same year in western territories. Aside being a fairly logical choice to do a “double feature” with games clearly drawing heavily from exploitation cinema of the 70s, these two games happen to be sequels, main installments in the Oneechanbara, as Bikini Zombie Slayers (“Oneechanbara 4”) is set after Bikini Samurai Squad (“Oneechanbara 3”), and features all characters from that game.

The story itself… it’s hard to say it has a plot. I played it years ago and completely forgot anything about the plot, so i had to google it and even that didn’t yield any synopsis, so i had to bust out the game’s physical manual, the old, old school way. One that would never fail… if they actually print any kind of story in the booklet to begin with.

They didn’t in this case.

Continua a leggere “Oneechanbara: Bikini Zombie Slayers WII [REVIEW] | Carpal Zombie Syndrome”

Oneechanbara: Bikini Samurai Squad X360 [REVIEW] | I Spindle On Your Grave

To celebrate the western release of Oneechanbara Origins coming October 14th, let’s look back at a couple more titles from the series (i have already reviewed the first 2 games, if you’re interested). Due to even more atrocious time costraints, i won’t be reviewing Oneechanbara Z or it’s sequel, not this year.

Continua a leggere “Oneechanbara: Bikini Samurai Squad X360 [REVIEW] | I Spindle On Your Grave”

Dangerous Waters: Shark Attack/Spring Break Shark Attack (2005) [REVIEW] Teen Sharks, GO?

Dangerous Waters Shark Attack AKA Spring Break Shark Attack 2005.png
Yeah, not a clear edit. Good lord, at least have matching fonts. 

This is actually Spring Break Shark Attack, but sold on home video as Dangerous Water Shark Attack, like in the UK DVD version, which also sports a cover trying to imply a more grim tone to the titular shark attack, totally trojan horsing to the shark movie aficionados a movie with such a generic name, making them think this is The Reef.

Really, even Jersey Shore Shark Attack had more to it, even if it was due to mixing together (and unofficially) two different – yet perfectly compatibile – flavours of trash, this is exactly what it says on the tin, and one that must have required very little brainstorming. Shark movie. Spring break. Teens played by “not quite teen” actors. Bikinis. Send tweet. Send script. Print. Beautiful. Continua a leggere “Dangerous Waters: Shark Attack/Spring Break Shark Attack (2005) [REVIEW] Teen Sharks, GO?”

Shark Attack 3: Megalodon (2002) [REVIEW] | Meme Sharks

Shark Attack 3 Megalodon 2002.png

Yeah, reviewing the previous Shark Attack movies was just a formality of sorts, more for completition’s sake and to have an excuse to watch them.

This is the Shark Attack movie you knew and (apparently) loved, and it doesn’t need presentation for many internet denizens of a certain age, since it spawned some really legendary, popular memes on an internet where “meme” wasn’t a common term at all, and had clips do the rounds of forums and boards. Continua a leggere “Shark Attack 3: Megalodon (2002) [REVIEW] | Meme Sharks”

Shark Attack (1999) [REVIEW] | Nu Sharks

Shark Attack 1999

It’s 1999. 2 months before Deep Blue Sea hits american theathers, another TV movie about sharks is released, to fairly negative reviews. Not that this will stop Shark Attack 2 and Shark Attack 3: Megaladon to happen the following years.

Continua a leggere “Shark Attack (1999) [REVIEW] | Nu Sharks”

Swamp Shark/Killer Shark (2011) [REVIEW] Bayou Boyah

Swamp Shark AKA Killer Shark 2011

Since i couldn’t find a copy of Mississippi River Sharks NOT dubbed in hindi (not offense, but i don’t understand a lick of it), i’m doing this one.

Never heard of it before, just randomly happened upon it while browsing Amazon Prime Video, under one of its alternative titles, the imaginative “Killer Shark”.
Compared to the choking hazard sharks, i guess. Continua a leggere “Swamp Shark/Killer Shark (2011) [REVIEW] Bayou Boyah”

Cruel Jaws (1995) [REVIEW] | Editing Sharks

Cruel Jaws 1995

How could i do a shark movie extravaganza without covering one of the most notorious pieces of “sharkxploitation”, especially if it comes from the motherland?

Italian exploitation cinema had always been very quick at tapping into trends (even inventing one, with the cannibal craze), but even without waiting for a resurgence of the shark movie (Jaws was released 20 years before, remember), many genre directors were quite happy to pump out monster movies like this regardless. And of course Bruno Mattei (credited as “William Snyder” here) wasn’t one to back down from anything. Continua a leggere “Cruel Jaws (1995) [REVIEW] | Editing Sharks”

Raging Sharks/Shark Invasion (2005) [REVIEW] Alien Shark Attack

Raging Sharks AKA Shark Invasion 2005

To make things clear: this is NOT connected to the Shark Attack series (like it’s reported in the italian wikipedia page, which is in dire need of a serious update), it just happens to be a Nu Image production that recicles some footage from Shark Attack 3: Megalodon.. and the first Shark Attack, as well. Because recycling is caring.

This one isn’t about megalodons, it’s about two alien spaceships that in 1999 crash into each other while in outer space, and a capsule drifts away to Earth, landing in the waters of the Bermuda Triangle. 5 years later, an underwater research facility called Oshona finds the capsule, only to be attacked by sharks, who attack the facility and leave members of the crew trapped inside, with an ever decreasing oxygen supply…

After many tragic events, a researcher discovers that the capsule cointaned crystals, which were eaten by the sharks, and hence affected their minds, making them more intelligent and aggressive.. Continua a leggere “Raging Sharks/Shark Invasion (2005) [REVIEW] Alien Shark Attack”