[EXPRESSO] The Hand Of God (2021) | Neapolitan Piece

The new movie from acclaimed italian director Paolo Sorrentino (Il Divo, This Must Be The Place, The Great Beauty, Youth, The Young Pope, The New Pope), available worlwide on Netflix this 15^th of December, but also having a limited theathrical release from the 24^th of November, definitely here in Italy, likely somewhere else, check your local cinemas to be sure.

The Hand Of God it’s a drama set in 1980s Naples (the director’s hometown), about a young boy called Fabio, but more often “Fabietto”, that gets the chance to achieve one of the biggest dreams of a young soccer fan: meeting Diego Armando Maradona, that just happens to pass by Naples.

But this is soon followed by a tragic event that will change his life forever, and Fabio’s turmoil to cope with life ensemble of contradictions, disappointments, joy, all with a biographical bent, as it encompasses events from Sorrentino’s upbringing in Naples, his fascination with cinema that would eventually develop and be nurtured, etc.

It’s no secret that Sorrentino’s style it’s basically a “best hit” of the acclaimed italian directors of old, especially Fellini, he himself made no mystery of it, like, at all, but i reject the idea of him being just a mediocre copycat. There’s something to be said about his desire to emulate Fellini in its own peculiar way (and the deliberate display of reveling in his own stylistical bend), and kinda continue his legacy, despite the absurdity, impossibility and self-awareness at the futility of such a quest.

This movie it’s no different, a modern neorealism tale of real life, cinema and family, that display an incredible grasp on both comedy, drama, and cinema (regardless of your opinion on Sorrentino’s style, he’s definitely no slouch), and also serves as a powerful period piece as well.

Noteworthy stuff.

[EXPRESSO] Netflix’s Cowboy Bebop (Season One) (2021) | It’s time we blow

I was gonna make a full review, but then realized it wasn’t deserving of it.

Often you see people wondering who the hell is the target for live action adaptations of anime series that etched theirselves as classics, even more when it’s a series that become a hit even outside the anime circles, so you can’t really pull the snarky excuse “no normal people have seen the thing”.

In this case, i feel no one, because it’s incredible how they managed to create something that not only the fans will despise but newcomers will just find bad, and wonder why the hell people liked Cowboy Bebop to begin with.

An adaptation of an anime that should actually work better than most in live action, but manages to be a genuine complete wreck.

It’s also a live action adaptation made by and for people that scoff at anime, because that sentiment it’s made pretty much manifest by the many changes made to excuse, justify or alter many elements and expand on stuff regardless if it makes sense or if it’s good.

This was always gonna be different from the original, but this is such a witless, soulless, boring, badly paced and barely recognizable adaptation that fundamentally misunderstands the material and it’s willing do any random garbage with it, hypocritically treating the original as gospel but without really respecting it, or even understanding it, not really caring too much to anyway.

The fairly cheap CG it sparely uses to remember you it’s technically set in space doesn’t help. I seriously hope the budget for the One Piece live action they’re also working is higher than this.

The cast it’s quite good and does an unbelievable job, but they can’t save this pitiable, hackneyed, utterly ill-conceived trash from itself. Don’t even bother hatewatching it.

Antlers missed and the 500th+ posts celebratory post & extra ramble

So, yeah, due to the movie Antlers having a surprising – ok, not that surprising – shortlived run in theathers here and being released in a very busy week, i missed it completely, so who knows when it will arrive on VOD here, i’ll just wait for when it releases on home video, most likely wil import it from the UK.

Meaning that the EXPRESSO review of Antlers i planned just won’t happen at all. Pity.

But we did reach the 500th posts total more than a week ago, so bathe in the celebratory anime dance gif, busting out and oldie but goldie.

Not looking forward to that Netflix’s live action Cowboy Bebop adaptation, just putting that out, but i feel like i have to say something about, so i’ll give it a watch and a full review. At least it not an outlandish proposal as the darn live-action One Piece, i saw that post and the partial cast reveal, the cast looks fine, honestly, just can’t imagine that series working in any satisfying or acceptable way with real actors, doesn’t matter how much money they put into the CG.

I guess we didn’t learn the most important lesson of Jump Force (which btw Namco Bandai it’s gonna stop selling – DLCs included – the coming February 2022, so if you want to own it for collection purposes, get it now): realistic redraws of anime characters from One Piece can be quite the terryfing looking human simulacra.

Watch Kill Me Baby, that’s the lesson today kids.

[EXPRESSO] There’s Someone Inside Your House (2021) | Mid Slashing

Netflix is ramping up the horror output in October as expected and as usual i test my luck choosing what actually sit and down watch by using a bit of the old “eeny meeny miny moe” strategy.

There’s no telling if it’s good, just that it’s on Netflix…and will actually remain there since it’s an exclusive.

A fresh release (debuted worlwide on Netflix 3 days ago), There Is Someone Inside Your House is a slasher film written by Henry Garden and directed by Patrick Brice, following Makani Young, a transfer student from Hawaii that made the terrible mistake of moving to Nebraska, it’s no wonder she founds herself caught up in a case of gruesome murders happing in her new town.

Aside from the title being both straightforward and a shoe-in for a weird ass Adult Swim short film, the set up is pretty typical, with a killer going around targeting people apparently connected to a hazing ritual in an american football college team, wearing replicas of the soon to be victims’ faces, the characters are the expected ensemble of teens…. actually acting like teens, the killer exposing the victims’ secrets, the main character and her friends trying to figure out who’s the killer, etc.

Some good gore effects, decent acting, some decent setpieces, but there’s….. not really much to it, and the execution it’s a messy, misguided affari. You do the usually game of watching people die, the likeable teen characters bite the obvious bait,, until it’s actually revealed who is the killer and why, as the narrative loses focus after the first act and kinda meanders about the usual throdden path without nteresting things happening. Even the reveal of the killer’s identity is a doozy.

It’s not BAD, it’s just…. fairly forgettable, kinda throwaway average slasher fare.

[EXPRESSO] Intrusion (2021) | Expected Unexpected Invasion

More Netflix perusing, so far it’s often a 40-50 % chance of getting some good, at least in my attempts, so whatever, let’s see this new exclusive Netflix horror thriller about home invasion, simply called Intrusion, which i find to be a bit too simple and descriptive, but whatever.

Premise is also fairly straightforward, about a couple moving into their dream house only to have an attempt home invasion, leading the wife to search for answers and find out that what happened is only the beginning of more creepy things to come.

Intrusion has definitely some ambition, as it tries to nest surprises and twists into what initially seem a set up for a home invasion thriller, since the intrusion itself happens very early and the bulk of the movie is about the wife eventually learning more than she bargained about his architect husband and his secrets.

Problem is, it’s too committed to try and thwart your expectations, to avoid becoming predictable and surprise you, even going as far as trying to make an anti-climax…. problem is even that isn’t very convincing, as there’s half a hour of movie left, where the movie eventually goes into what you expected to it go from halfway through, as not to completely waste the long build up, so the script kinda sabotages itself in a quest to avoid being predictable, making the characters and the pacing worse in a transparent attempt to pull the wool over our eyes.

I feel bad because there’s definitely effort put into the movie, decent atmosphere and acting, but it focuses too much in trying to be not predictable at the expense of pretty much everything else, while ultimately being fairly easy to read and see where its going (and goes), making for a predictable, overall middling result.

[EXPRESSO] Prey (2021) | Die Freischutz, Die

Let’s go Netflix diving once again, with this german horror-thriller.

First, really, you couldn’t find another title for your movie?

Then again, i don’t expect people to confuse this with the 2007 killer lion movie, or the other killer lion movie from 2016, also called just “Prey”.

Premise it’s as stock as it gets for horror, as it’s about five friends escaping from someone hunting them down with a rifle in the woods, where they came just to make an excursion and relax.

A cabin of sorts gets involved somewhere down the line, sure, but don’t expect any subversion or satire of genre diktats, and while it’s not technically a “slasher” since the murdered uses a hunting rifle, it’s just that, a technicality, and expect some answers in the end, but not a twist.

The execution it’s not totally stock since it relies on atmosphere and tension, the mystery of why they are being hunted, and while on paper i do like the concept of not relying on obvious answers and trying to make the raw execution of a simple idea work without trick or convenient cliches… the execution here gives way to mostly boredom and not much to go on or look forward, with some substories and some drama just there to add something to the movie.

While there are some moments of decent tension, the acting is decent and it’s not completely boring or worthless (it’s not), it feels way longer than it is for a movie barely under 90 minutes, and it’s definitely not the kind of movie you wanna fire up if you’re already feeling sleepy or doozy, this isn’t made to “wake you up” to begin with, but it being fairly dull doesn’t help.

Mediocre and forgettable, you decide if it’s worth watching even once.

[EXPRESSO] The Swarm AKA La Nueè (2021) | Zorak Disapproved

The international localized title, The Swarm (the original being “La Nueè”, which can be directly translated as “The Plume”), threw me a bit off, as it’s the same one for the older 1978 movie with Michael Caine, but this recent Netflix exclusive movie it’s not about killer bees, it’s about locusts.

Ok, more Locusts: The 8Th Plague. Or The Exorcist II: The Heretic, i guess.

Plot it’s a little less hockey than one would assume, as it’s about a single mother that raises locusts for a living, but just isn’t able to make them breed, until she discovers that the animals react well to human blood…

Obviously, this happens as an accident, and you can tell this isn’t an american b-movie because it’s not actually just about killer locusts, but the drama of a single mother desperately trying to make ends meet, ready to do many sacrifices for her family.

Still, it’s a bit unelegant the way in which the locusts acquire this bloodlust, or how the narrative it’s both too slow moving and forced in various points, because you were kinda promised a swarm of killer locusts rampaging, so here’s a character doing an obviously stupid thing for the sake of setting that up. Except… not really.

And even so, there’s no real pay-off or much in the way of horror until the last 15 minutes, most of the movie it’s spent with these…. kinda detestable and unlikeable characters, not much happens in general, so it’s really drawn out and when something does happen it’s way too brief, often feels forced or done more out of obligation than anything else.

There are worse movies, but this is so disinterested about its subject material and such a slow moving, boring pile of pointless that i would simply suggest skipping it.

Reflecting a bit on the new Shaman King anime for Netflix

So, a month or something ago the new anime adaptation of Shaman King dropped as a Netflix exclusive, and after watching the first 8 episodes, i think there is something to be said (in a non-elaborated, just “vomiting my thoughts without much editing or revision” way) about Shaman King and its legacy, and how this new adaptation is indeed trying to propose a very old shonen series to modern audiences, but staying as loyal as it can to the source material, which is nice but it also shows how old and fairly ancillary feels this series today, with many others Jump series that came out at the same time, later or before and still left a bigger, longer lasting mark on the genre.

Continua a leggere

[EXPRESSO] Blood Red Sky (2021) | A Vampire On The Wing Of The Plane!

Sometimes Netflix is home to some good surprises, alongside reboots nobody asked and/or lots of “3D CG anime for the west”.

Seriously, Netflix does have some good exclusive movie releases, and this german horror thriller from Peter Thorwarth (also known as Transatlantic 473) is quite the unexpected delight.

Not because it came out of nowhere, i’ve heard of it before and was looking forward to it, but the premise gave the strong impression of this being a very gimmicky movie, using the horror element of “a vampire is on board” as a novelty to spice up another run of the mill thriller about a plane hijacked by terrorists, so i did go into this one with lowered expectations.

The premise see a mother and her son board a plane to New York, where she plans to get cured of her mysterious illness. But during the flight a group of terrorists spring their plan, hijack it, so in order to protect her son and the other passengers, the mother will have to give in her disease, as she’s actually a vampire, the kind that’s just a feral, unhinged creature entirely driven by bloodlust.

The vampire lore is pretty simple but also pretty convincing and brutal, fear not, the horror parts were not shoehorned in at the last moment, at all, and they work very well, not only as they give an interesting, fairly unique spin on the “airplane thriller”, but also feed into the notably solid mother-son dynamic, leading to pretty good drama featuring likeable, solid, competent characters.

Villains are a bit generic, but there’s the usual psychopath nutcase that helps in giving the plot some pretty good action scenes (among other things), and there’s a lot going on regardless, making the sizable runtime quite sensible. Pretty good one, quite recommended.

[EXPRESSO] Resident Evil: Infinite Darkness (2021) | Monstrum Abruptum

So, this review wasn’t planned at all, not so soon anyway.

I was aware of the Resident Evil CG films going back from the early 2000s, but i never cared to check them out. This one just came out on Netflix as an exclusive, i decided to watch some episodes… and i have the suspicion this first “season” was originally a short movie, as it’s incredibly short and a bit too much “definitive” in its resolution than expected, let’s say that.

I guess Capcom went for the “Castlevania” approach, with a first season only lasting 4 standard lenght episodes to test the waters, and plans to eventually make more and longer seasons, but this doesn’t change that this thing isn’t exactly mindblowing. Again, at the time of writing (and posting) i haven’t seen the previous CG films, so i can’t compare to that.

But i can say that the dialogue isn’t good, often cringey and redundant. While the 3D CG looks honestly quite good, despite still feeling like a big budget long ensemble of cutscenes from a videogame… this first season barely does anything with the set-up, one oddly located in an early 2000s America where Leon has to stop a conspiracy involving a foreign nation and avoid that the US President (father of Ashley from RE 4) sets on the path of war against China.

It’s just so underwhelming AND short, not really an inspired or surprising script, even the action scenes and the monsters leave a bit to be desired. It’s not completely awful, it’s mildly entertaining, but it’s just so generic, uninspired and forgettable, even as a “foundation”. There IS something to work with, sure, but judging by this, i would expect more stories that barely interconnect and are resolved too quickly to create anything.

We’ll see.