Mega Shark in Malibu/Malibu Shark Attack (2009) [REVIEW] | Goblin Jaws

Mega Shark in Malibu AKA Malibu Shark Attack 2009.png

Like it’s so often the case, i got this one on DVD for cheap, and the UK DVD release tries to fool you into thinking that’s related to (or part of) the Mega Shark series by The Asylum, even putting “the legend returns…” in the box art.

It’s actually not, it’s just a random shark movie called Malibu Shark Attack, that also just happens to have been released in 2009 like the first Mega Shark movie, Mega Shark VS Giant Octopus, but by this logic, Black Dynamite and Dragon Ball Evolution also belong in the Dinocroc shared universe. This is actually part of the Maneater series, though calling it series it’s a stretch, they are cheap horror films produced by RHI Entertaiment for SYFY (usually debutting there and then going to video), yes, but they don’t even stick to the theme of “natural horror” anymore. Not that it really matters.

Doesn’t help that this release still keeps the alternative DVD title of “Mega Shark Of The Malibu” in the movie itself, but it wouldn’t be a genre film without at least 2 or 3 alternate titles, i guess. It’s one of the unwritten laws of b movies and such. Continua a leggere “Mega Shark in Malibu/Malibu Shark Attack (2009) [REVIEW] | Goblin Jaws”

One Piece: Glorious Island OVA (2012) [REVIEW]

One Piece Glorious Island OVA 2012.png

Director: unknown
Writer: Eiichiro Oda

Going really into obscure territory here, since this is the prologue to One Piece Film Z, but it wasn’t released as a limited edition disc in a specific chain of theathers or shops, that would be too easy: instead it was originally released in 2 parts (6 minutes each) on smartphones as part of collaboration with Docomo’s then new mobile TV format-service, NOTTV, and later compiled in the japanese Blu-Ray release of One Piece Film Z.

Yeah, it’s basically an “Episode 0” of sorts, but instead of setting up more clearly the events of the movie and giving more info on the villain (like the following OVA prequel/episodes 0 for Strong World and Film Gold would do), this is a direct prologue that leads into the actual beginning of Film Z. Not that it matters because this is so detatched from the movie (you don’t see any of the movie villains in any shape, for example) it might as well be a random featurette, it would make more sense that way.

Sure, with the release format and the very nature of this OVA, you would reasonably guess whatever happens in it can’t be that important to the plot of the actual movie…..and you’d be correct, let’s not dance around it. Continua a leggere “One Piece: Glorious Island OVA (2012) [REVIEW]”

One Piece OVAs and featurettes Retrospective coming soon

 

HelpfulExemplaryGoosefish-small.gifLast year i did a full retrospective of the One Piece movies leading up to the release of One Piece Stampede in theathers… all in italian, and while i plan to eventually do a reworking/redo of the retrospective in english (including Stampede, of course), and to cover all the TV specials, for this summer i’ll just cover the featurettes and OVAs.

NOT the live-action stage shows. Yes, even before the announced One Piece live-action Netflix series will actually show what’s its gonna look like, One Piece had more live-action adaptations, mostly as theather plays, hell, they even did One Piece Kabuki…

That’s about it, see you soon!

One Piece Pirate Warriors 4 – DLC Pack 1 PS4 [REVIEW + RAMBLE]

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I wasn’t planning on reviewing the DLC packs as well, but then again Namco and/or Koei silence on eventual stuff one would expect for a 30 bucks Season Pass…. made me feel apprehensive, and it worth keep banging on these issues, they won’t go away if you get bored of hearing about them, quite the contrary.

So you get both a review of the first DLC Pack for Pirate Warriors and a small digest of Koei’s DLC bullshit (just this once, i’m not gonna do that for the following DLC packs’ reviews), far from comprenhensive, but fear not, i could easily make an essay on this subject. If you’re already familiar (or WAY too familiar) with the subject, please just skip to the review of the DLC pack itself below. Continua a leggere “One Piece Pirate Warriors 4 – DLC Pack 1 PS4 [REVIEW + RAMBLE]”

Hentatsu (2020) [REVIEW] | A Cat And Oni Walk Into A Bar

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This late june, i was on a kick to discover/watch what else director TATSUKI made after the first season of Kemono Friends, and among them Hentatsu felt in that category of “i’ve seen some images time ago of this, but i have zero idea of what it’s about”.

And after watching the whole series, i still don’t fully know how to answer the implied question, it sure wasn’t what i expected from studio Iroiro and TATSUKI – as you can tell immediately they made it – but it isn’t the usual ensemble of weird animal people or “humans” fighting against weird misterious enemy in the backdrop of a vague post-apocalyptic setting. Continua a leggere “Hentatsu (2020) [REVIEW] | A Cat And Oni Walk Into A Bar”

[EXPRESSO] Pokemon Café Mix iOS | Got Milc?

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Another Pokemon puzzle game, another free-to-play (or more correctly, “free-to-start”, as Nintendo themselves likes to call these games) for mobile and Switch, this time with a cutesy pastel cafè aesthetic, as you manage a Pokemon cafè, operated by and for Pokemon, alongside a human girl, who acts as a general assistant-tutorial figure.

This is done via puzzle challenges, thankfully not of the “match 3” kind (we already had plenty of those with a Pokemon license), nor or the Panel The Pon/Puzzle League variety, but in turn based grid-less form, with the objective of linking together chains of pokemons, in order to activate an ability, destroy special blocks, or because of a stage requiring a certain quota of Pokemon pieces/icons to be matched.

Each pokemon has a specific ability, a specialization for a certain kind of dish (drinks, sandwiches, desserts, etc.), and as you progress you unlock more critters but also more recipes and new expansions for the cafè, which in turn introduce new elements and stage objectives, with some random chances of increasing the friendship level with a certain pokemon, who will join the staff.

The gameplay is decent, but the more free-form, grid-less style of level design makes it too reliant on abilities and consumable objects, a bit too helpful in this case, especially because you can also activate them during the stage, not just before. All to push you into buying the premium currency, which happens a bit too fast, it won’t take long to realize so with the limited energy system, timers and the extra turns costing a lot of “gems”.

While i’ve seen worse monetization schemes and freemium economies, there’s also the fact i’ve seen and played way better puzzles game. This is a very cute distraction (with a tad manipulative freemium economy), but not much else.

decaffeinato-icona

Shark Attack 3: Megalodon (2002) [REVIEW] | Meme Sharks

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Yeah, reviewing the previous Shark Attack movies was just a formality of sorts, more for completition’s sake and to have an excuse to watch them.

This is the Shark Attack movie you knew and (apparently) loved, and it doesn’t need presentation for many internet denizens of a certain age, since it spawned some really legendary, popular memes on an internet where “meme” wasn’t a common term at all, and had clips do the rounds of forums and boards. Continua a leggere “Shark Attack 3: Megalodon (2002) [REVIEW] | Meme Sharks”

Shark Attack 2 (2000) [REVIEW] | Cape Town Sharks, GO!

Shark Attack 2 2000

While the first Shark Attack wasn’t exactly a prestigious production, at least it was deemed worthy to be released as a TV movie.

With the “sequel” they didn’t even bother to try and sell it to SYFY, and released it directly to home video, which is already a flag of sorts, but then again, the first one was quite bad and widely panned, so nobody was expecting Shark Attack 2 to carry the sins of the father and redeem the franchise on the Golgotha. Continua a leggere “Shark Attack 2 (2000) [REVIEW] | Cape Town Sharks, GO!”

Shark Attack (1999) [REVIEW] | Nu Sharks

Shark Attack 1999

It’s 1999. 2 months before Deep Blue Sea hits american theathers, another TV movie about sharks is released, to fairly negative reviews. Not that this will stop Shark Attack 2 and Shark Attack 3: Megaladon to happen the following years.

Continua a leggere “Shark Attack (1999) [REVIEW] | Nu Sharks”