[EXPRESSO] Blazing Chrome NSWDDL | Olympus Has Fallen

21XX A.D.

Capitalization of vaguely remembered decades run rampant in the dystopian future where a war against “ze machines” is unfolding. As humanity last stand, the last survivors of a suicide mission, with the main characters designs clearly – “just because we like it” – made to evoke Appleseed’s Dunen and Briareos, you’ll have to attack the enemy HQ in a desperate, last bout of run n gun action.

From the developers of Oniken and Odallus comes a surprisingly good retro 2D run n gun, one that not only evokes the 16 bits days of yore via the usual (but also quite crisp) retro aesthetic, but also because it’s basically Contra III (the weapons will make it even more obvious), with an evasive roll manouver and a Metal Slug-style close quarters knife attack added for good measure. But still, a very good recreation of Contra with enough in it to not just make it a “clone”, made by people that know what to keep from the classics, and where concede to modernity in order to avoid fidelity over quality.

It’s a 6 missions/level affair, but they’re well designed, quite packed and keep the tradition of changing things up with motorcycle sequences, mechsuits, faux-3D shooting sequences, etc. It’s the kind of game that is by design not particularly long, but it’s also very challenging, hard but never soulcrushing difficult, you always feel you can win if you try again, learn and improve. It also gets the arcade type of replayability perfectly, and you’re given various difficuly settings that add or remove “comodities” suck as saving or extra lives. Add in extra playable characters, boss rush mode, and even options for speedrun, and i really can’t recommend this enough.

Shoutout to my buddy Chaosknight69 on Backloggery for recommending this one.

Loved it!

[EXPRESSO] The New Mutants (2020) | Teen Mutant Nightmares

FIY: seen in a theather in Italy with social distancing measures, mask and stuff.

Aside from the bad timing (at least for US viewers), i’m glad it’s finally out, as The New Mutants had a troubled production history, and was in development hell for years, enough that i wouldn’t have been surprised if some months ago Disney pulled the plug on theproject all together. And it’s a theatherical release because of the years old deal (Fox was still un-absorbed) that forced Disney to put in cinemas first.

Quite likely the truly last remnant from the X-Men movie series as conceived by Fox, this is an interesting proposition even if it didn’t have this unfortunate production history, because it’s a superhero horror movie, we definitely don’t get many of those.

The plot centers around 5 young mutants, who have been brought to a special asylum in order to help them get a better control over their powers… but it soon turns out they have been locked, to be studied and observed. The group will have to confront their fears and unite their efforts if they wanna escape from the mysterious doctor that keep them locked like rats.

A lot of articles drew comparisons to the Nightmare In Elm Street III: Dream Warriors.. which i didn’t saw, but even with some general horror knowledge, these comparisons make sense, in ways i won’t explain because inherently spoilers. But even so, in this form sponged of direct connections with the X-Men movie series, The New Mutants is a pretty cool movie that balances well the teen drama (and romance) with the superhero and horror elements. Teen horror, i feel the need to point that out, so don’t expect much in the way of gore, but you get some cool action scenes and likeable characters.

Deep Blue Sea 3 (2020) [REVIEW] | Corporate Sharks

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Having reviewed Deep Blue Sea 2 in July, i was surprised to see another one pop up into existence a month ago. Thankfully, an UK DVD release also rapidly appeared a week ago, i imported it, so here we are.

While i was kinda disappointed with the second one, it was more due to that movie having to follow after the original Deep Blue Sea, still one of the best shark movies. By now it’s clear this is just another series of shark movies based around the idea of genetically enhanced sharks, with no continuity between them, and a budget far lower than the original, while still pretty high for most shark movie peddlers that play it low as possible as to cynically bottle the “so bad its good” lightning, by now pretty much non-existent as there is no difference between parody and shit. Continua a leggere “Deep Blue Sea 3 (2020) [REVIEW] | Corporate Sharks”

Megalodon/Sharkzilla (2002) [REVIEW] | Karcharíasdontas

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Time for more confusing re-titling of shark movies, as there’s a tv movie from 2012 actually called Sharkzilla, but the old 2002 Megalodon (yeah, originality isn’t this subgenre forte, as there’s yet another movie called “Megalodon” that was released in 2018) was released on DVD in the UK as Sharkzilla, de facto just putting a lick of paint over a + 10 years old movie to fool people into thinking it’s a crappy new release.

Lovely confusion-based marketing, par for the course for this strain of shark shit, so much than in Germany was sold as “Jurassic Shark 3” (there no Jurassic Shark 2, and i thank the heavens for it)! Then again, i paid it less than 5 bucks, total, so… Continua a leggere “Megalodon/Sharkzilla (2002) [REVIEW] | Karcharíasdontas”

Gamera The Complete Collection UK BLURAY [REVIEW] | Absolute Pristine Turtle Meat, Really Neat

Arrow Video keeps being a shining beacon of light in a world where companies are planning to stop making physical media all together, so they can hold properties hostage on another streaming service with no guarantee film and series will always be there, or there in a matter of months, for that matter.

This time they bring us a collection that will make kaiju fans furiously ejaculate, and for good reason, as there wasn’t any complete collection of the beloved Gamera series, there were some boxsets for the North American market, but nothing complete, and here in Europe TM we got it far worse, Italy especially, as they brought only 5 five of the Showa Era, often calling Gamera “The Great King” and retitling the movies to imply it’s Godzilla or King Kong, with craptacular marquee artworks to boot.

But now it’s all good again, as this boxset (which i preordered as soon as i saw it) is shipping worlwide, and it’s all english… but it’s also a limited release, so i’m just gonna say this to interested fans: stop reading, and get it RIGHT NOW, this is pricey and there aren’t gonna be that many copies around, so just go. Definitely worth the price, it’s not cheap, at all, but it’s worth every single cent. Continua a leggere “Gamera The Complete Collection UK BLURAY [REVIEW] | Absolute Pristine Turtle Meat, Really Neat”

[EXPRESSO] Pokemon Masters EX iOS | The Rolling Girls (& Boys)

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I usually don’t re-review smarthphone games (i did an Expresso review of the game in italian soon after launch one year ago), but since i didn’t really touch the game after spending time on it for the review, i actually enjoyed it enough, and Nintendo feels the update is so big to warrant a title “upgrade” (hence the “EX”), i will indulge this time.

As one would expect, in time they added more extra modes and stuff to do, even Pokemon eggs (alongside the stuff added as part of the anniversary update, which brought also a new interface)… but they also added freemium elements that weren’t in the game at launch, like the “energy meter”, and of course more stuff for the gacha, and this game is one of those that differentiates between premium currency gotten in-game and paid. Still, they didn’t add lootboxes or more monetization system, and admittely the game launched a little bare on content, not broken or unfinished, but DENA clearly underestimated how ravenous gamers can beat in days what was intended to be consumed in weeks or months.

And i feel bad that ultimately Pokemon Masters is so reliant in the gacha to really lure you back in, because the gameplay itself is (and was) fairly solid, as it’s basically the classic Pokemon combat formula but as a 3 vs 3 affair, with some semplification to accomodate it not being turn based, and a slightly revised system of types’ compatibility. Along with new passive abilities for defense, it’s the closest we have to a proper Pokemon game on smarthphones/mobile, and it’s the better one we got yet. Surely better than that Pokemon Rumble Rush (RIP?).

Still, a fairly good mobile game i don’t really care to play with any sort of frequency.
Or give money to, honestly.

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[EXPRESSO] Tenet (2020) | Time After Time

Ah, yes, Christopher Nolan tale of Batman against one of his most obscure villain, Palyndrome. Or maybe it’s a live-action Tin Tin adaptation in disguise.

FIY: i watched this in theathers with social distancing enabled, but then again, i remember i’m Italy-based, which happens to be kinda lucky for me in this particular istance. Don’t go to theathers if there any chance to get the plague, not worthy it.

So, Nolan is back into the game, bringing his lavish and twisting narratives into the spy movie genre, with Tenet, where a CIA agent gets recruited for a secret mission, launched into action only knowing the word “Tenet” and that at stake is avoiding World War III. Oh yes, also, there is time travel involved, so good luck.

Like most movies that center their story about time travel, Tenet has his own specific rules (outside of the obvious ones like paradoxes), which are unique, but are also a bit confusing. The script and direction by Nolan help juggle all the time travel hubba without leaving plot holes or anything like that, but at times, even with some choices made specifically to avoid them being confusing – or more confusing -… some scenes feel too busy, way too busy. Even so, it’s always quite the spectacle, even when you aren’t exactly sure what exactly is happening, a highly entertaining spectacle, the plot is worth watching unravel all the way through its 2 hours runtime, and you have a great cast (as expected) with John David Washington, Robert Pattinson, Kenneth Branagah, Elizabeth Debicki, Hamish Patel.

Oh, yes, Michael Caine is in the movie for 5 minutes, being very british.

Good movie, even if at times confusing (not incomprensihible, but confusing), and with a tone that feel a bit too “composed”, even for Nolan.

expresso-icona

Open Water (2003) [REVIEW] | Fear Of The Shark

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Didn’t plan to review this, but suddendly i saw “this film will be unavailable the 31 of august”. Thanks, Amazon Prime Video, wanna remove first some garbage that probably isn’t even really licensed so much as “uploaded” by random persons? No? Thank you.

So anyway, Open Water, the first one of the not-series, as there are two more, but there’s no story continuity, and the second one often isn’t even titled as a sequel, which is fairly common for these realm of horror thriller about killer animals… or killer anything, to be even more honest, and pretty any distribution company “has” to have it’s own shark series with movies that just add numbers at the end of titles and share the same overall concept or premise.This is Lionsgate’s. Continua a leggere “Open Water (2003) [REVIEW] | Fear Of The Shark”

One Piece: The Great Tongari Island Treasure Hunting Adventure (2018) [REVIEW] 4D Pirate Propaganda

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Writer: unknown

If having to go at selected water parks and such places to see the 3D featurette Trap Coaster seemed asking a lot, don’t worry, this time you – only – had to go to One Piece Tokyo Tower, the only One Piece theme park in the world, situated inside Tokyo Tower (in case the name wasn’t clear enough), open since 2015… and closed – permantly, to boot – this 31^th of July 2020.

Gomu Gomu no Bummer indeed. Continua a leggere “One Piece: The Great Tongari Island Treasure Hunting Adventure (2018) [REVIEW] 4D Pirate Propaganda”

[EXPRESSO] Siberia (2020) | LSD: Dream Dafoe Emulator

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Abel Ferrara’s last movie, a German-Italian-Mexican co-production…it’s definitely a movie. That you can watch in theather right now (at least in Italy)… i wouldn’t exactly recommend it.

Siberia, to be fair, at heart it’s an Abel Ferrara movie, focusing on sinners and outcasts searching – with futile attempts – for some redemption. Here we have Clint (William Dafoe), going out into the siberian tundra and embarking on a dreamlike quest to confront his own subconscious and past in a non-cronological narrative.

Problem is, while none of really complicated (or cryptic), the movie feels the need to constantly stop itself to basically overexplain the internal conflicts of the character out loud, or have scenes that feel weird for the sake of it (in hindsight, a power drill killing scene could have happened), or made downright pointless in the long run.

Even when it’s fairly clear what’s going on, even if you “get it”, you will still want to ask what the point of that was, more…annoyed than actually confused by the imagery and some really random exchanges that don’t really connect to anything. It doesn’t help that – for whatever reason – in the italian theatherical version William Dafoe clearly isn’t dubbed, so he speaks in italian with such a BAD, laughable german-russian accent it’s literally impossible to take anything he says with any degree of seriousness.

This isn’t a nitpick, i fully mean it.

I’ll say this: it isn’t boring or predictable, but i found myself more asking if it’s really just a 90 minutes movie, not really intrigued by most of the events and what they say about Clint, nor really that curious to see where exactly the narrative is going.
Fitting end, i must admit.

I don’t regret seeing it or anything like that (at all), but i didn’t like it.

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