Godzilla PS4 [REVIEW] | King Of The Dumpsters

Godzilla PS4.jpg

Copy Purchased
Platform: PS4
Developed By: Natsume Atari
Players: 1 – 4 (online multiplayer only)

Yeah, the one that spawned the “Godzilla is approaching the generator!” meme, as popularized by “Angry” Joe Vargas.

And keeping that in mind, is worth noting that the obnoxiously repeated observation is also pointless, because you can check the “health” of the generator just by looking at how many of the spinnings parts of it are red and unmoving.

Just so you know this is shit from the start.

Bring your shovel, there’s a lot of whatsit to plow through. Continua a leggere “Godzilla PS4 [REVIEW] | King Of The Dumpsters”

[EXPRESSO] Pet Sematary (2019) | Truckin’ Dead

Pet Sematary 2019 poster.png

I’m not familiar at all with Pet Sematary, be it the original book by Stephen King, or the 1989 movie adaptation (and his lesser known sequel, Pet Sematary Two), but there’s a new adaptation in theathers, so why not?

The premise is similar to the book (which was inspired by the famous The Monkey’s Paw story) or the previous movie incarnations, with a family that moves in their new country house, with a burial ground for pet animals – the titularly mispelled campo santo -located in the nearby woods. The house cat dies, and the father buries it in the “pet sematary”, which seems to hold a strange power, as their neighbour warns them of the ground being cursed…

I’m not gonna gonna point out differences between the book or the other movie, or say this is one of the better S. King adaptations, because i really can’t (i don’t count reading wikia as “having watched/read thing”), and you’re probably more familiar with the material than me anyway. I’m gonna say that the film is a bit frustrating to talk about, because the premise is intriguing, the tone is quite good, the acting and characterization too, i like that the entity is never overexplained (they say Wendigo at one point, but its got bugger all to do with the actual Wendigo from Algonquian folklore) but it’s a shame that the numerous attempts at jumpscares don’t really land.

And the pacing is slow, not particularly so, but enough to make the movie seem longer than it is, and the third act in contrast feels like it’s going fast, with some kinda silly sequences, which beg some explanation (or a better execution). I do like the ending, but i struggle to say that is “good”, quite close, but still not exactly there.

decaffeinato-icona

[EXPRESSO] Stan & Ollie (2018) | Friends To The End

Stan & Ollie 2018 locandina inglese redux.jpg

Yes, this arrived just now in my country’ theathers (1st of may, to be precise), and i’ll be blunt, that’s my only gripe with Jon S. Baird biopic about Laurel and Hardy’s beloved comedic personas.

In 1953, after their Hollywood days and a long period apart, Stan Laurel and Oliver Hardy reunite for a tour in english theathers, in order to rack some needed cash, and also train for their upcoming movie about Robin Hood, pitched to a producer but still in the air. They are warmly welcomed by the public, still enamoured with their antics and affable charm, but it’s not the relatively small packed crows they attract at first, the competition coming from the cinemas (or the home video), not even the rise of new comedic duos like Abbott and Costello the main problem.

It’s their crumbling friendship, with old grudges resurfacing, the constant knowledge of them being a thing of the past, held together by their personas more their actual selves (or so they think), and a conflicting view on many things, all made worse by Oliver’s degrading health. It’s a tale about mending a broken friendship in the world of entertaiment when you’re not top dog(s) anymore, and it’s beatifully executed, even more because you don’t really need to have a lot – if any – familiarity with the duo, or even like the passè style of comedy (i personally think it’s more cute than funny today).

Steve Coogan and John C. Reilly do a stunning job portraying the comedy duo, which is shown not as overly-idealized , but as a couple of flawed individuals (the controversy with Hal Roach is portrayed, for example), with a great balance of drama and comedy, that celebrates earnestly friendship and passion for the craft.

Funny and quite touching.

java-icona

[EXPRESSO] Shazam! (2019) | Say My Name!

Shazam 2019 poster.jpg

Superhero time again, with the DC offering of Shazam!, a series/characters that (like for most DC properties) i really wasn’t familiar at all, so i didn’t have any expectations of fidelity to the source material for this adaptation.

Billy Batson is a 15 years old boy that keeps escaping from foster homes in search of his mother, and yet again is assigned to a new family, that he tries to get away as well. But he summoned as the Champion by an old wizard, that passes his powers unto him by uttering his name, Shazam, as he’s too old to keep the Seven Deadly Sins sealed away into stone statues.

Billy transforms in a full grown and caped adult superhero (played by Zachary Levi), but as he’s still a teenager, he just fucks about with his newfound abilities, acts like an arrogant idiot, but the appareance of an occult villain (played by Mark Strong), will force him to not play the hero, but become an actual one in order to save his family.

If you are feeling tired of the genre (and of some of Marvel copious offerings), and think you might skip this one, don’t. It’s funny, really funny, the action is good, the humour is incredibly well balanced with the more emotional moments (which don’t shy away from being serious and dramatic), and overall the comedy never feels out of touch or “mandated”. It’s earnest, understanding, like it’s young main character, trying to figure where he belongs more than how to cast lazer beams from his eyes.

All of this with good characters, and a really welcome touch of horror (there’s some decapitation, which i really didn’t expect, but nothing too graphic overall), making it one of the best superhero movies i’ve seen in a while.

expresso-icona

P.S.: Stay not just for a post-credit scene, but for the ending credits themselves, funny and tonally fitting of the overall tone. 🙂

Also, yeah, i know that the horror bits are not so surprising, given the director previous works, like Lights Out.

[EXPRESSO] The Music Box/The Carillon (2018) | Seeming Is Believing

The Carillon- The Music Box 2018 italian poster

It would be really easy to just dismiss this movie at first glance, just going by the cliched title and poster showing the stock “creepy lil’ ghost girl” and selling it (at least here in Italy) as “the horror movie that has frightened milions of spectators”.

And in this specific case, your assumptions would be 100 % correct.

The same trite story of a haunted object, a child coming in contact with the evil spirit contained within, and her foster mother fighting to save her from the entity. It really IS as predictable and clichè as it sound, and the execution is majestically bland, boring, not helped at all by acting that’s mediocre, at the very best, which isn’t often.

Even when the script basically gives up in the third act and events stop making any sense, it’s still so predictable you don’t even get mad or react at the stupid ass “scares”, the filler scenes where characters are told the same stuff they already know just so this can reach 90 minutes, or the forced (and undeserved) happy ending. It’s just that kind of pathetic, pitiful bad horror movie.

All of this is “crowned” by an odd italian dub (it’s an italian production, filmed in english language, not as rare as it sounds, though) that feels like a mix of a 90’s italian dub of brazilian telenovelas (not a compliment) and a sit-com, which is even odder for the italian actors in the cast, and makes the whole thing harder to take serious. Even more with the quality of production and cinematography, not notably worst than usual, but low enough that doesn’t feel exactly like a movie, or add to the atmosphere.

And no, still, none of this makes the movie unintentionally funny, just sadder and more pathetic, for everyone (me included). 😦

fondo-di-caffc3a8-icona1

[EXPRESSO] Escape Room (2019) | Playing Games, Makin’ Names

Escape Room 2019 movie poster.jpg

NOT to be confused with the omonynous 2017 movie directed by Will Wernick, which i didn’t see (it was supposed to screen in my country just before this one, but i guess it didn’t, at all).

Anyway, “Escape Room 2019” is about six vastly different individuals that receive a strange cube containing the invitation to an exclusive escape room by a company named Minos. After they all gather in a waiting room, they soon realize the game has already started, and the team must scramble and work together to solve the riddles and proceed to the next room, in what soon appear to be challenges with one goal: survival, at any cost.

It’s basically a non-horror (kinda, there’s some blood, but not gore) take on Saw, which i like even if it’s quite obvious, since here we also have a team of people that seems random at first (but isn’t, at all), and we see them try to cooperate (or not) for a common goal of surviving a deadly challenge of intellect and action, set up for unknown reasons by a misterious, evil mastermind, watching from the shadows.

Heck, even the way it starts is so typical of Saw. 😉

But it’s better than most of the late entries in the Saw franchise, it’s a better written movie than the disappointing Saw: Legacy/Jigsaw we got back in 2017, and it’s actually better than expected, with some surprises, good atmosphere, and mostly decent-to-good performances.

What stops it from being “good”/more than decent is the characterization, with some characters never actually growing out of the clichè they seem at first, and the shameless (but kinda “honest”) way it sets up a sequel, one in what Sony wants to be an annualized franchise. Again, like Saw, which isn’t a promising scenario.

We’ll see, i guess.

decaffeinato-icona

One Piece: Romance Dawn (3DS) [REVIEW] Kuso Kuso No Mi

One Piece romance dawn 3ds cover.jpg

Copy Gifted By Friend

Platform: Nintendo 3DS
Developed by: Three Rings
Players: 1

Ok, since World Seeker is launching tomorrow, time to write another review of One Piece: Romance Dawn for 3DS (for italian readers, here’s my old review, if you really wish to read it, i don’t recommend doing so), which i’d say it’s the worst One Piece game i’ve ever played, and – maybe – the worst of them all so far (not counting crossover titles like Jump Force, i saw the cutscenes and i almost couldn’t believe that was basically launching in a week). Continua a leggere “One Piece: Romance Dawn (3DS) [REVIEW] Kuso Kuso No Mi”

Akira Psycho Ball PS2 [REVIEW] | Capsules Multiball Run

Copy Purchased

Platform: Playstation 2
Developed by: KAZe
Players: 1-2 (local)

Akira has actually received more videogame adaptations than expected, but this is most well known, since the visual novel for the Famicom never left Japan, the Super Nintendo/Genesis/Jaguar version ended up cancelled and only the Amiga (and Amiga CD 32) version eventually came out in 1994.

Hell, even this game is kinda baffling in itself, not just for the choice of genre, but for the reason it was made: to coincide with the 2002 japanese remastered DVD release of the movie. Not exactly a labour of love made to celebrate the movie in grand fashion, but then again, it’s a game about of a (then) 14 year old movie, it’s quite odd anyway. Continua a leggere “Akira Psycho Ball PS2 [REVIEW] | Capsules Multiball Run”

[EXPRESSO] Sparkle 2 PSN | Zuma Fantasy Quest

Sparkle 2 PSN

If you like Zuma, you’ll probably enjoy Sparkle 2, i assume sequel to “Sparkle”, if this wasn’t given as one of PS Plus monthly “free” games, i wouldn’t even know it exists.

Yeah, it’s a “Zuma clone”, which isn’t a bad thing at all, as we aren’t (or ever were) exactly drowning in them, and unlike the original Zuma, this one doesn’t become frustrating and obscenely difficult towards the end, punishing you for just wishing to beat the game. This is a lot better, since it actually cares a lot more about being fun to play than being difficult for the sake of it.

To differentiate itself a bit, Sparkle 2 lets you equip passive abilities for the orb slinger, which – besides being more numerous than expected – are just unlocked as you go, and can be quite useful. The presentation is simple but nice, even if the story amount to you being in a fantasy place on a quest to obtain 5 keys that will unlock.. something, with “screensaver cutscenes” accompanied by a good (albeit not exactly ecstatic) narrating voice.

While i appreciate that it’s really trying to give me more “bang for my buck” (it also has a Challenge Mode and Survival Mode, leaderboards, harder difficulties), in the long run i wish Sparkle 2 campaign was shorter, it boasts 92 levels, sure, but after a while they start to repeat themselves (and so do the nice music and backgrounds), just harder with faster moving orbs and more colors to match.

Even if i wish they didn’t try to make so many levels when they clearly couldn’t (hence the “need” to recycle them for filler purposes), i found myself getting back to it time after time and i gladly played it to the end.

Overall, a more than decent “Zuma clone”, and a fun one.

decaffeinato-icona

[EXPRESSO] Blood: The Last Vampire (2009) | Live Action Mehstruction

Blood The Last Vampire 2009 poster.png

Live-action adaptations of animated works are quite the oddity.

Fans are usually against it because “it’s pointless”, but even so it’s hard to fully repress any curiosity, and it’s a way to stir up some interest in an IP.

In this case, it’s adapted from the omonymous 2000 Production IG film, a coproduction between french company Pathè and Hong Kong company Edko, directed by Chris Nahon.

The basic plot is mostly the same: Saya is an half vampire half human that hunts down “proper vampires” for a shadowy organization, that helps her by providing supplies for the killings. It’s still set in an American army base, but there’s also this whole backstory of shape shifting “demons” that in the 16th centhury took human shape to live between us (using the bloodshed of that period to their advantage), and Saya being the daughter of a legendary demon hunter, slain by the vile demon Onigen.

Also, she has to basically babysit Alice, the daughter of an american army general, after she saves her from vampires monsters disguised as school bullies. Yeah, while some scenes from the anime film are replicated, the plot changes and add things just to fill time between the decent action scenes, definitely the best parts of the movie, despite being very clearly made by a Hong Kong company, not very japanese.

It honestly feels like the plot was written for a tv series or a videogame based on Blood The Last Vampire, and then reused here, it has that cheap feeling to it. Apart from that, the movie is watchable, but it’s kinda shit, with laughably bad and clichè as hell dialogue, some stupid scenes, mediocre acting, inconsistent quality of the special effects, and a really anti-climatic final confrontation.

Oh, and the title is a lie. It is.

americano-icona