Soon Back To The Theathers

So, in a matter of weeks most cinemas in Italy plan to re-open for real (even more since they already planned summer releases for movies like A Quiet Place Part II), which gives me great joy, and also means i’ll eventually cover more recent releases after watching them in theathers, instead of waiting for months to dribble on some streaming services here in Italy, if at all.

I still have a shark month (and something else One Piece related) planned, i enjoy reviewing b-movies, shlock, etc, but i also like to cover the recent releases, you know?

So, fingers crossed i don’t have to write another post where i say i will not be able to cover theathrical releases (as soon as they get here) because of another lockdown.

Giant Monster March IS A GO!

As the long awaited Godzilla VS King Kong finally is set to it theathers pretty much everywhere (where theathers are open, not a given due to the pandemic), it’s time to celebrate, with a selection of giant monster movies reviews to showcase mostly lesser known titles or movies that nowadays are not as well known as they once were, despite still being remembered by genre fans.

Sorry it’s not a month of non-stop reviews this time. Enjoy!

Life After Beth (2014) [REVIEW] | Getting Over It (feat. John C. Reilly)

Celebrating Valentine Day’s as you do, with one of the most notable movies in the “zombie romance” subgenre that isn’t Warm Bodies.

(BTW, yes, i knew about Vlad Love, i’m gonna cover it in some way, but it finally started airing just today, so i would have never had a review for it ready by now)

You might be led to think this is a rip-off of that, as in the roles happen to be switched (the girl is the zombie one), but… don’t, because the 2010’s didn’t invent zombie romance (there was a musical-romcom about zombies in 2007, called “Zombie Love”), heck, we had Teenage Zombies back in 1959… but then again that movie was fuckin terrible and didn’t actually feature teenage zombies, so at the very least these modern romantic comedies about zombies got that.

Continua a leggere “Life After Beth (2014) [REVIEW] | Getting Over It (feat. John C. Reilly)”

Dino Dicember #12: Terrordactyl / Jurassic Wars (2016)

“Pteranoperil” was too bland, i guess, but feel free to use that one, if you want.

So yeah, i got this while hunting for dinosaur flicks on Amazon, and the UK DVD copy goes under the “Jurassic Wars” title, but at least the cover promises pterodactyls… and the movie is about pterodactyls. Checks out, not always a given with these kind of movie covers that promise more than the movie can actually deliver.

Continua a leggere “Dino Dicember #12: Terrordactyl / Jurassic Wars (2016)”

Dino Dicember #1: Age Of Dinosaurs (2013)

♪ It Is The Dawning Of… ♪

Picked up this randomly as the first movie to watch for Dino December, and of course it’s an Asylum production. And i didn’t plan it, that’s just my luck, but it’s also quite fittingly basic, so perfect to start this merry marathon!

Continua a leggere “Dino Dicember #1: Age Of Dinosaurs (2013)”

[EXPRESSO] Siberia (2020) | LSD: Dream Dafoe Emulator

Siberia 2020 poster.jpg

Abel Ferrara’s last movie, a German-Italian-Mexican co-production…it’s definitely a movie. That you can watch in theather right now (at least in Italy)… i wouldn’t exactly recommend it.

Siberia, to be fair, at heart it’s an Abel Ferrara movie, focusing on sinners and outcasts searching – with futile attempts – for some redemption. Here we have Clint (William Dafoe), going out into the siberian tundra and embarking on a dreamlike quest to confront his own subconscious and past in a non-cronological narrative.

Problem is, while none of really complicated (or cryptic), the movie feels the need to constantly stop itself to basically overexplain the internal conflicts of the character out loud, or have scenes that feel weird for the sake of it (in hindsight, a power drill killing scene could have happened), or made downright pointless in the long run.

Even when it’s fairly clear what’s going on, even if you “get it”, you will still want to ask what the point of that was, more…annoyed than actually confused by the imagery and some really random exchanges that don’t really connect to anything. It doesn’t help that – for whatever reason – in the italian theatherical version William Dafoe clearly isn’t dubbed, so he speaks in italian with such a BAD, laughable german-russian accent it’s literally impossible to take anything he says with any degree of seriousness.

This isn’t a nitpick, i fully mean it.

I’ll say this: it isn’t boring or predictable, but i found myself more asking if it’s really just a 90 minutes movie, not really intrigued by most of the events and what they say about Clint, nor really that curious to see where exactly the narrative is going.
Fitting end, i must admit.

I don’t regret seeing it or anything like that (at all), but i didn’t like it.

americano-icona

Die Rezensionen In Florenz

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As i read of the AV Club decision to not review The New Mutants, not because of any bias, but because the otherwise reasonable request to pay for a movie in theathers once for a critic…. it’s absurd and dangerous in the United States, were the pandemic is still in full swing, but theather chains still want to push big releases through or get people into seats by making tickets 75 cents (plus a decent probability of black death).

The AV Club has my utmost respect for this, indeed this is not a risk worth it, even for people willing to take it, this is actually a sensible decision. Potential COVID infection is not worth it for a review of any movie. Just isn’t.

So it feels incredibly odd to me that – by pure chance – i’ve already gone to theathers without any chance of death (then again, it’s kinda hard to say since yesterday i saw Gretel And Hansel in an otherwise completely empty movie theather room), and so this week i will just go, watch and then review Tenet,  just because i happen to live in Italy and the actual circumstances of this means i probably won’t die

This isn’t gloating, this isn’t boasting (as i’ve basically done nothing to deserve it), this isn’t good ol schaudenfraude, it just seems so odd, so surreal to me that i will have a review out for The New Mutants (between a One Piece retrospective and a shark movie review) earlier than most foreign sites i use to keep up with global releases and stuff.

Just…. odd.