Bunnyman 2 AKA The Bunnyman Resurrection (2014) [REVIEW] | He Never Died

First off, let’s clarify, because this is yet another series with confusing alternative titles.

The first movie’s original title was just “Bunnyman”, and was kept in the film itself even in the UK DVD release, sold under the title “The Bunnyman Massacre”.

This one is a “direct” sequel, with its original title being “The Bunnyman Massacre” (with a more appropriate working title of “The Bunnyman 2”), and with an UK DVD release as “The Bunnyman Resurrection”. Because we are somewhat affectionate, almost nostalgic of this awful old trend of titles for movie sequels, laughable but oddly comforting in its own crap way.

Even if they don’t fit the movie itself, Bunnyman didn’t die at the end of the first one.

Continua a leggere “Bunnyman 2 AKA The Bunnyman Resurrection (2014) [REVIEW] | He Never Died”

Bunnyman AKA The Bunnyman Massacre (2011) [REVIEW] | The Ice Scream Bunny

Hold onto your bunns

Sometimes you get surprised by these low budget slasher flicks you can find on amazon for pennies. Sometimes.

But most of the times you get shit like The Bunnyman Massacre, which works quite hard to be really boring, given nobody expects too much out of a movie called “The Bunnyman Massacre” (technically just “The Bunnyman”, but the UK DVD title is better, and more appropriate, even if would become accidentally confusing), just some shlock for a movie night with friends, but at least entertaining shlock.

In case the title (or the title with a person in bunny costume holding a chainsaw on the cover) isn’t indicative enough, this is yet another Texas Chainsaw Massacre rip-off, one so damn cheap it skimps on showing gore. I could end the review here, but this one deserves a full “spanking”, and not just because i – somehow – expect to see Dead Alive/Braindead/Splatters levels and quality of gore.

Continua a leggere “Bunnyman AKA The Bunnyman Massacre (2011) [REVIEW] | The Ice Scream Bunny”

School Girl Zombie Hunter PS4 [REVIEW] | Underpants OF THE DEAD

Today Oneechanbara Origins, the remake of the first two titles in the series, launches officially on PS4 and Steam, so let’s rivisit that spin-off of sorts Tamsoft made in 2017, branded as “Zombie Panic Shooting Action”, happening in the Oneechanbara universe. Kinda. Maybe.

Yes, the retail PAL version does exist, i have it!

But it’s also available digital for PS4 and Steam.

Continua a leggere “School Girl Zombie Hunter PS4 [REVIEW] | Underpants OF THE DEAD”

Oneechanbara: Bikini Zombie Slayers WII [REVIEW] | Carpal Zombie Syndrome

As i said in the review of Bikini Samurai Squad, D3 Publisher released that and this Wii exclusive the same year in western territories. Aside being a fairly logical choice to do a “double feature” with games clearly drawing heavily from exploitation cinema of the 70s, these two games happen to be sequels, main installments in the Oneechanbara, as Bikini Zombie Slayers (“Oneechanbara 4”) is set after Bikini Samurai Squad (“Oneechanbara 3”), and features all characters from that game.

The story itself… it’s hard to say it has a plot. I played it years ago and completely forgot anything about the plot, so i had to google it and even that didn’t yield any synopsis, so i had to bust out the game’s physical manual, the old, old school way. One that would never fail… if they actually print any kind of story in the booklet to begin with.

They didn’t in this case.

Continua a leggere “Oneechanbara: Bikini Zombie Slayers WII [REVIEW] | Carpal Zombie Syndrome”

[EXPRESSO] Creators – The Past (2019) | Star Odissey Barbarian Italian Gods Of Space Magick

You might be wondering what the hell is this.

I did too, until i remembered the name from 2019’s edition of the Lucca Comic & Games convention in Italy, but i never “investigated” and i….completely forgot about it.

Then again, they didn’t market it AT ALL, despite being an italian production with William Shatner and Gérard Depardieu, alongside a cast mostly made by americans, italian actors at their first role and italian musician Angelo Minoli.

The year is 2012, and an extraordinary planetary aligment is about to happen. The eight members of the Galactic Council (each governing their own planet as a “Creator”) meet to discuss of the coming events, but following an incident they lose an essential artifact, and task a human girl to retrieve it before the planets disalign.

This is the basic gist… the movie itself it’s INSANE, it really lives up to the “colossal” monicker, as they basically threw together 3-4 movies. And – as you would expect – it gets confusing, as the sub-plots splinter into smaller sub-plots, each of the Creators has their hidden agenda, and the movie just keep throwing things at the viewer, like Jesus Christ, aliens abductions, conspiracies, sword and sorcery bits with scorpion-men, the very specifically italian “battle of the oranges”, etc.

And YES, all these things are connected together. The drawback is that with that many subplots and a runtime under 2 hours, some are abruptly resolved in seconds. Often because the movie just makes up new bullshit rules to do so. It’s anything but boring or stale, it’s visually intriguing, there is definitely dedication and ambition here, alongside a lot of money for an italian production of this type.

It tries to set-up sequels.

… I really wouldn’t mind, at all, but i “feel” they ain’t gonna happen.

Oneechanbara: Bikini Samurai Squad X360 [REVIEW] | I Spindle On Your Grave

To celebrate the western release of Oneechanbara Origins coming October 14th, let’s look back at a couple more titles from the series (i have already reviewed the first 2 games, if you’re interested). Due to even more atrocious time costraints, i won’t be reviewing Oneechanbara Z or it’s sequel, not this year.

Continua a leggere “Oneechanbara: Bikini Samurai Squad X360 [REVIEW] | I Spindle On Your Grave”

[EXPRESSO] The Peace Keepers SNES | The Suplexing Complex

Played via the SNES- Nintendo Switch Online’s service.

And i gotta say, despite Nintendo handling this service.. in a totally Nintendo way, sometimes there are surprises, like this forgotten SNES beat em up by Jaleco, actually the third of the Rushing Beat trilogy (which also includes Rival Turf and Brawl Brothers, the latter already released on the service), at least it was originally. I’d say this is a fairly obscure release, as i never even heard of its existence, even by name.

Playing it, i realized why it slipped into obscurity so easily. Just plain ol’ crap in a market – at the time – saturated with tons of titles like that, often better.

It’s hard to say The Peace Keepers is “bad”, as it pretty much plays like Final Fight (aside from a plot that throws movie clichès AND literary references into the pot, with mutants, villains named Iago and places called Ozymandias Island), but it’s not a fast paced affair. Also, the combination of slightly stiff controls and the screen never scrolling properly to the right leads to you dashing into enemies’ fists, not that the game really ever throws tons of foes at you. Which is “good” because each takes more hits than it should to go down in a game like this, making the throws (already a bit too efficient than punches, in a brawler) pretty much mandatory to get anywhere.

Branching paths leading to different bosses and endings are nice but aren’t enough to make the story seems more than a jumbled sequence of scenes. And for some stupid reason the game by default just has the sound effects and ambient noises, i almost went the whole game wondering if the game had no actual music. It does, but you have to change a setting in the options.

[EXPRESSO] Missing Link (2019) | Le Tour Du Sasquatch

Definitely one of the movies i’ve been looking forward to this year (again, came out last year in the US, but not here), always up to see what Laika Studios are doing next, and Kubo was great.

This latest feature is set in 1886, and sees cryptozoologist ante-litteram Sir Lionel Frost respond to a misterious letter that hints at the possibility of finding the fabled “missing link”, and embarks on a quest, as finding it would also give him recognition from his fellow adventurers, including his rival.

So the search for sasquatch begins in the Pacific North West…. and then begins again when Sir Lionel finds out who sent the letter, and why.

The plot offers an interesting variation on the old adventures flicks where British guys went around the world to “discover” and “civilize-colonize” all they could get their cane on, while maintining the old clichès like the bar fights, assassins sent after them by the main villain that epitomizes the old world of arrogant status-quo.

Not that Lionel himself is that much better, but it’s all to feed into the theme of family and what comes with a ugly duckling type story, one featuring a lovably awkward sasquatch and great characters.

You can see where the plot is going, but it’s a fun ride, the character designs and stopmotion animation are top notch as you would expected, the art direction amazing, the slapstick is quite decent, too. At times the dialogue tries to be a little too clever, but it’s mostly quite well and smartly written, just throwing a couple of puerile jokes because it has to (being a kids movie). Oddly some of the funniest moments are quite simple, in contrast to some of the more complex verbal gags that don’t fully land.

It’s pretty good, yes.

One Piece Pirate Warriors 4 – DLC Pack 2 PS4 [REVIEW]

Another season, another DLC Pack for Pirate Warriors 4, the game that keeps in making you wish there was more of it, not only for what concerns the roster of characters.

But i did that mini-essay for the review of the first Character Pack, and then a full-on editorial about the state of the musou sub-genre as a whole.

So i’m gonna keep this and the next one shorter.

This time the theme is “Worst Generation”, referring to 12 characters belonging to the so called “worst generation” of pirates (and Blackbeard), 11 of which come from nine top pirates crew, and firstly referred to as the Eleven Supernovas, the notable rising pirates from that generation that caught the attention of the World Nobles, and one of them is speculated will become the next Pirate King.

Compared to the first pack, this one was far easier to guess once the theme became clear, because most of the “Worst Generation” pirates were already playable in the base PW 4, some had been since Pirate Warriors 2, even.

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[EXPRESSO] Jack In The Box (2019) | Spring Daemon

I’ll be honest, i walked into this one expecting a turd of sorts.

I mean, it’s not like this promises more than it does, it’s called Jack In The Box and it’s about an evil Jack In The Box. As in, the clown in the box is evil, because it can’t be a pierrot or an evil possessed figure from Commedia Dell’Arte, something that isn’t your usual choice of evil clown. Then again, this specific angle isn’t overdone… i think.

The plot deals with a new museum curator, Casey, arriving in the little english town of Hawthorne, and while wading through the “lost and found” inventory, he notices an odd box with some mystical engraving, appearing to be a creepy jack-in-the-box toy from the victorian era. But as more mysterious murders keep occurings, the more Casey learns of old tales related to the “jack-in-the-box” being coinceived to contain and unleash demons, and of a previous murder related to the box…

Directed and written by Lawrence Fowler, who previously directed some shorts and something called Curse Of The Witch’s Doll, which looks as generic as this one. And there is a sequel to this one already in pre-production, set to release in 2021.

And….i’m not against a sequel, there is something here (even if the “jack-in-the-box” demon lore is a bit silly, just a tad), and for a relatively low budget independent british horror film, this is definitely more than presentable for theathers, the monster design, make-up and effects are quite convincing, and the museum setting is a nice touch. Acting is decent, to boot.

Shame the direction and script are not as strong, kinda generic, pedestrian at times, with some twists seen coming a mile away, flashbacks to things that happened 10 minutes before, and an ending that aggressively sets up a sequel.