[EXPRESSO] Gamera: Rebirth (2023) | Stand By My Gamera

Lil G is back after 15 years of official silence… and it’s a Netflix animated series by the co-director of the Godzilla anime film trilogy, with similar 3D CG animation, despite being handled by ENGI (Kemono Michi, Uzaki-chan Wants To Hang Out) and not Polygon Pictures.

We’re not starting on the right foot, but it’s not like Gamera fans can be picky, this is the first official anything since 2006’s Gamera The Brave, though the premise gave me ‘Nam flashbacks of Gamera Super Monster, since it has my boy face off against 5 old foes, including his arch nemesis Gyaos, over the course of 40 minutes long 6 episodes.

The series is set in the summer of 1989′ Japan, with a group of young boys (six-graders) that have their savings stolen by a bully nicknamed “Brody”, the son of an American army commander, confront him, then a giant monster, Gyaos, attacks Tokyo, but the children are saved by another giant monster, dubbed Gamera.

It’s basically a kaiju gauntlet of sorts, with the human side of the story feeling very Stand By Me-ish but also fitting in theme of Gamera being linked to children, proposing a reinvention of the character and franchise that mixes elements from the old Showa era films with the beloved Heisei trilogy, meaning it’s not actually intended for kids at all, as the plot unfolds more in the ways of conspiracies and dark secrets.

And both the plot and characters are surprisingly compelling, making for a good series in spite of studio ENGI trying to emulate Godzilla Singularity Point’s animation as well… but with lesser results of awkard, stiff looking animated 3D CG humans, when the monsters do look good, sport some great redesigns, and their fights – even if often brief – are indeed quite good.

[EXPRESSO] Snowbreak Containment Zone iOS/PC | TOF: The Trinity

Despite every reason not to, let’s brave the gacha waves once again in search of some new distraction that may or may not be the time investment, let alone the monetary one.

Today we have another anime styled gacha free to play game that seems like a proper TPS action-rpg or something along those lines, from chinese developer Seasun Games (also behind Girls Gun Cafè and Dawnlands), let’s give it a punt.

The plot starts vague enough, set in a dystopic ice & snow world where you play as an Adjutant to the Heimdall Force, the first assault group created to fight the Titans in the snow ridden and polluted Contaiment Zones that were formed after the mysterious cataclysm know as The Descent.

A lot of borrowing from Norse mythology for the names and the various boss enemies, designs of the ever popular “sci fi anime cyberpunk-esque” ilk with side of post-pandemic apocalypse and grim overtones, but still, the art direction (alongside the icy setting) is strong enough to make it a bit more distinguishable from its peers.

In terms of gameplay, it’s a cover based third person shooter affair, and while the virtual controls schemes available can fiddled with to and can be usable… i’d honestly recommend syncing a PS4 controller anyway (or playing it on PC via the dedicated client), since, while functional, the virtual controls are a bit too clunky to be optimal for a third person shooter.

That aside, gunplay is quite satisfying, designs are nice if a bit “tame”, the levels are short but keep introducing new enemies and obstacles at a decent rate, presentation and technical performance are rock solid, and honestly i do think it’s pretty good, still a gacha but monetizion is not particularly aggressive or manipulative, so it’s worth a try.

One Piece Odissey PS4 [REVIEW] | Cube Memory

One Piece might not be a franchise that you would immediatly associate with RPGs, but like Dragon Ball its surprising how the genre is represented in their many videogame iterations, especially if we’re talking about older systems, and even more so if we’re talking about Japan-only releases, as the first One Piece videogame was a RPG on the old black-n-white WonderSwan, and more came out for both the Wonderswan family of consoles as wells as for Game Boy Color, Game Boy Advance, and even on the original Playstation.

But sadly most western fans are not familiar with some of these quirky GBC One Piece RPGs where (among other things) the Straw Hats are turned into animals, no, most likely you’ve yearned for years for a localized One Piece RPG, only to find out that it exists, One Piece: Romance Dawn, and that it’s sadly a very shit game, even worse as it’s a port from PSP to 3DS, and a cheap one too, because knowing this it makes all sense for the game to look that much like old ass.

I reviewed that one as well, but today we’re here holding hope to finally retire this status and have a big budget mainstream RPG that can make the series some justice instead of wishing they wouldn’t have bothered to begin with, with the long anticipated One Piece Odissey, developed by ILCA and published by Namco Bandai (who else?) in January 2023 to celebrate the series’ 25^th anniversary.

Available pretty much on all the platforms, old gen and new…. but not the Nintendo Switch.

For the record, this review is based on the PS4 version played on a PS4 Pro.

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[EXPRESSO] The Haunting Of The Queen Mary (2023) |

From the director of Dracula Untold, a maritime horror movie that’s also technically a Halloween movie too, since it shifts between 2 (well, two and a half, to be correct) main storylines taking place on the titular ship, now sitting as a tourist historical attraction rife with horrific past events, like the massacre that happened on the Queen Mary during Halloween of 1938, where the father of a family of entertainers went on an unmitigated killing spree.

In modern times, the Calder family visit the ship for a business trip, but the young child comes across some of the ghosts that haunt the luxury translantic, and in an attempt to save the lost soul of their boy, the Calders enter the ship again to try and learn of his terrible secrets and centhury old mysteries that are more than “spook tour material”…

I was honestly pleasantly surprised by this one, though this lead to some frustration as the set-up it’s good, it’s great, it’s rife with potential but the execution kinda stumbles, with the direction being uneven and falling back on jumpscares or cliches even though it doesn’t really needs it, having already established a solid atmosphere and having some fairly tense sequences.

The 1938 sections are by far the more interesting, visually intriguing, and while the narration does a solid job in slowly revealing how the massacre went down back then and what it implies for the modern day events… these often aren’t as strong in terms of either story, action or characters, feeling overall kinda uneven, and some questionable choices (like how the “dream scenes” are shown and the direction lacking confidence at times) stop this one to being straight up good.

Still, as it is, The Haunting Of The Queen Mary it’s a decent-and-above supernatural horror thriller.

The Cinema Show Experience Debate Cycle (2nd Round)

Told you we’re gonna do this dance again, and i feel now it’s the time to address some of the issues left unchallenged and unchanged, as anyone with any foresight could have told you before.

I guess the catalyst for new lamentations is the new blockbuster releases mostly doing very bad, regardless of quality or marketing employed, as even movies coming from recognizable and renowed studios and carrying recognized names and brands come out to basically big box office woes most of the time, in what most people have accetted as a “post-Covid 19” world, even in countries where it’s still far from over because reality and consequences and such.

Because i’m a dumbass, instead of making a thumbnail with a load of nonsensical buzzwords on it for a “video essay” (really, words mean nothing anymore to a certain subset of creatures) that’s somehow longer than the movie it discuss… i’m gonna say it’s obvious this wanna gonna happen.

Even if we collectively agreed to pretend the pandemic is over everywhere and forever, even pretending and disgarding the argument/issue as a thing of the past, this newly found “box office bombagery” should really not surprise anyone that has been to theathers more than once in recent years.

To avoid repeating what i said before, i’m just gonna link the previous editorial so you can check that out instead. Consider this an addendum more than a “follow up”.

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[EXPRESSO] Indiana Jones and The Dial Of Destiny (2023) | Show Me Your Math

Ah, yes, the final, final adventure of old film legend Indiana Jones. For real this time.

We all know nothing will stop the studios potentially doing the “Peter Cushing digital necromancy” when Harrison Ford eventually will leave this mortal coil, but, as for John Wick 4, i’m reviewing this under the assumption is gonna remain true, even more since director James Mangold (Logan) makes it manifest this is the final bout of adventure for a man that’s really too old for this shit.

Enough that Jones witnesses his history students far more excited since the moon landing just happened, but the very same day he’s approached by the daughter of an old friend, Helena, then attacked by a group of nazis that are also interested in one half of the Antikytera, a misterious artifact built by Archimedes that supposedly would grant control over time itself, and a lot of the usual Indiana Jones adventures happen with the group scurring all over the globe.

It’s definitely an Indiana Jones movie through and through, the new characters are quite likeable, the nazis are always the perfect villain for a movie like this, there’s some logic to the meta-textual swinging back to the past that fuels what is another nostalgic cinematic operation, and the director manages to capture the essence of the old movies fairly well, though the script ultimately lacks that “oomph” that would put it above a decent but expected rethread of familiar material.

And one wonders why the hell an Indiana Jones movie should be 2 hours and ½, that alone almost had me rate lower this one, but Harrison Ford alone still makes it worth it, and for a movie that’s intended as a send-off for the character, it’s a better one than Kingdom Of The Crystal Skull.

[EXPRESSO] Knights Of The Zodiac (2023) | Saint Seiya Evolution

It feels like its the late 2000s again with a production like this, as if Dragon Ball Evolution never released, or it did but nobody learn shit from it, just by gazing upon this brand new live action adaptation of the popular manga/anime series Knights Of The Zodiac, better known as Saint Seiya.

IF you knew this was coming at all, in the US the series never really “took off”, and even in countries like Italy where it still has a lot of nostalgic value for older generations, it has been barely marketed at all and released as 3 days special event thingie, kinda telling.

Honestly, i was never much into Saint Seiya, but just from the trailer i recognized the whiff of another Dragon Ball Evolution. Though this one is SLIGHTLY better.

Just because the effects and visuals are a bit better, and the fights could be worse.

But it’s still a terrible, lousy adaptation that’s so 2000s and it’s a total crapfest anyway, as it checks ALL the negative boxes.

Wildly miscast actors that either half-ass it or are just pure pine, a script trying to squeeze a saga worth of info into a 2 hours runtime, a narration with no focus continuously jumping from scene to scene without context, that is when the stereotypes (there are no actual characters in this movie) aren’t vomiting torrents of exposition.

Even worse, it’s also a BORING mess, and it’s that kind of adaptation that it invents his own plot, one that has barely anything to do with the series’ premise, and – for good measure – it’s stupid, boring, threadbare and utterly tiresome on its own, managing not only to disappoint long time fans, but also alienate general audiences.

Not that it stops this movie sequel baiting into the void.

Dagon (2001) [REVIEW] | Shadow Over Galicia

Dagon, my sweet Dagon, oh what foul stench thou emits,

enough to make one sad at how it all went once again amiss,

cursed indeed by another Elder God these adaptations seem

of Lovecraft’s hate for fish supreme.

For the record, i don’t hate or begrudge Stuart Gordon’s work overall and his obvious love for the source material, i mean, the Reanimator series was also spun from a H.P. Lovecraft story and that managed to work, though it became its own thing, i am more than “ok” with that.

I mean, for fuck’s sake if that story in particular needed to be scrubbed – in adaptations – of the obniouxsly blatant racism, you’ll need to clean the Lovecraft out of Lovecraft “sometimes”.

But i also can’t deny there are reasons why fans of Lovecraft are beyond sick of the many adaptations that defy the thousand monkeys & thousand typewriters logic, and that somehow no one over decades has managed to adapt any of his stories (in films, strictly speaking) with success without fuckin things up, as in, completely destroy any attempt at atmosphere, deviate so much from the original story to the point it might as well be adapting another Lovecraft tale, AND making crap movies that are bad regardless of what author’s name they borrow.

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[EXPRESSO] Renfield (2023) | Flies On The Windscreen

Robert is a man stuck in a toxic codepent relationship with his boss, and partecipates in group therapy sessions to get over it… while also find new abusive monsters to feed his own, Count Dracula itself, as Robert is actually Robert Renfield (Nicholas Hoult), the vampire’s infamous long time familiar, now living in modern New Orleans.

But Renfield it’s tired of being second fiddle and wants out, trying to turn his life around for himself, even falling in love with a righteous police officer (Awkwafina) that feels offended of doing menial jobs instead of busting down the criminal gang that killed her father.

I wasn’t sure what to make of the premise of Renfield, but i fully support Universal’s bent for trying to do new things with their old legacy franchises, this time a comedy horror about Dracula’s iconic familiar/slave, bringing him out of the sanitarium in a modern setting and basically having him try to escape his life as Dracula’s servant, moonlighting as an anti-hero that just needs to feed on insects to gain their life force and rip out people limbs like they’re made of rotten weeks old tuna.

Plus we have Nicholas Cage as fuckin Dracula, hell yeah i was absolutely IN… and after watching the movie i can say this is NOT the case where i love the concept but not the movie as a whole, because the gamble paid off and makes for a light hearted, silly little horror comedy with surprising wit, lots of funny over the top gore effects of good quality and enjoyable action scenes.

Excellent casting too, especially Cage as Dracula is a delightful, brutal but also a manipulative, petty asshole of a monster.

The movie it’s also short, but honestly for the better as it avoids spreading the premise thin.

12 Hours Into The Legend Of Zelda: Tears Of The Kingdom

I expected many things, but i wasn’t quite ready to get the sequel to Breath Of The Wild and see that the development team actually “pulled a Nuts & Bolts”, but actually do it in a way that doesn’t leave disappoiment and bewildered fans.

Mostly because Tears Of The Kingdom doesn’t completely goes away with almost everything from the previous movies (and its open worlds/spaces have actual shit to do in it, instead of meaningless wandering for few collectables in oversized dromes), retaining pretty much the same basic gameplay seen in Breath Of The Wild, from attacking, the stamina management for climbing, running, flying, item collecting, having to deal with freezing cold or scorching hot enviroments, Sacraries acting as both mini-dungeons and fast-travel locations where to collect orbs in order to power up life or stamina, tower that need to be actived to scan the area you’re in, etc.

And of course the weapons are made of biscuit crumbs, which is both worse and better, as now there’s is a real, honest-to-god story justification for Hyrule’s metal weapons having becoming corroded (which is fuckin hilarious in a way)… BUT at least now you can find more resistent variant of the weapons, the last strike that would seen the weapon break always deals a critical hit damage, and one of the new abilities is also there to help, as it lets you combine weapons with items to strenghten them or create weird ass weaponry.

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