The Spooktacular Eight #21: The Awful Doctor Orloff (1962)

Ah, good ol’ Jess Franco, the master of lesbian vampire action, the exploitation master from Spain that both film dozens of softcore trash but also worked with Christopher Lee as either a vampire or the old villian Fu Manchu, that deals in adaptations of Marquis De Sade but also completed the previously (and unfamously) unfinished Orson Welles version of Don Quixote.

I really can’t do him justice, but i did pick one of the films from before he really declined and put out some really atrocious stuff, like the final entries in the Fu Manchu series (the Castle Of Fu Manchu being the subject of a popular MST3K episode ), shit like Dracula VS Frankenstein, or even pseudosequels that cannibalizzed on Franco own’s Dr. Orloff series with reused stock footage to make in name only adaptations of Poe works, in particular his The Revenge in The House Of Usher, which is a mess and a half since it has 3 different cuts (often having different titles as well). 2 of which reuse even more footage from this 1962 Dr. Orloff film that started the series.

But let’s pretend we do not yet know of this, and let’s talk plot.

Which is not quite original, as it’s an amalgamation of Frankenstein and french classic Eyes Without A Face (especially the latter), as the titular Dr. Orloff attracts young women to his castle so he can harvest her skin with the help of a disfigured, blind assistant/henchman named Morpho (a Mighty Monarch approved name indeed).

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[EXPRESSO] The Zone Of Interest (2023) | Heil Honey I’m Home

Jonathan Glazer’s film about the Holocaust won the Oscar for best screenplay, that much is true, but given El Conde received a similar nomination at last year’s Venice Film Festival, i wasn’t really sold on the movie because of that, but regardless i finally managed to catch a screening.

And this honestly surpassed my expectations.

Loosely based on the novel of the same name by Martin Amis (itself based partially on real events), The Zone Of Interest is about the life of Auschwitz SS commander Rudolf Hoss and his family, as they live in a home in the titular “zone of interest” that places them meters away from the concentration camp itself, so close that you can see prisoners go in and out the camp to do chores, and hear the many atrocities committed there.

The plot focuses on the Hoss family life and the drama that Rudolf having to move to another outpost causes them, while they fully believe the Nazi creed through and through, all to further enunciate the abhorrent reality of the concentration camps and the Nazi war machine while we never even move outside of their house, let alone enter Auschwitz.

And this slice of life apporeach it’s indeed perfect to fully expose the “banality of evil” at the heart of it, it’s a glacial remind there’s no need to shock people when its far worse to remind us the Holocaust wasn’t run by a small gaggle of evil demon warlords alone, but was also accepted by regular people, and reminded that it was also run by capitalism as everything else, with architects calmly discussing with Rudolf Hoss the plans of how to costruct the more efficient, cost-saving method of massacre, while his wife idly chats over tea with her friends in another room.

Noteworthy indeed.

Cyclops (2008) [REVIEW] | #giantmonstermarch

The cyclops is one of the more unrepresented monsters, sure, it’s usually thrown in there if it there’s an adventure in ye old Greece of myth and monsters, alongside the usual suspects, in both videogames and movies, now that i think about it.

Then again, it’s ultimately just a variation of the giant archetype, but even so, the cyclops really hasn’t had much representation even in the monster movie genre and its many iterations even on overlyspecific types of killer animals.

Sure, there’s Dr Cyclops, but that’s just the stupid title given to basically the forerunner of the “shrinking people” trend of the ’40-50s, not that Bert I. Gordon’s The Cyclops from 1957 is any better, as they basically had the same guy of his War Of The Colossal Beast as the “cyclops”, quotiations marks because the monster’s face (or the actor’s make up/mask) is supposed to be melted off on due to radiation shit, so he has basically a “flesh bang” and only eye still visible, here’s your “cyclops”, looks like he fell face first into a barrel of radioactive cheese but didn’t get signed up by Troma for a series, so he slums into his own film alongside a disgraced Lon Chaney Jr.

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[EXPRESSO] The Three Musketeers Part II: Milady (2023) | Into The Dumasverse

More Muskeeters of the non-Mickey Mouse variety with part 2 of the new French big budget film adaptation of Alexandre Dumas’ enduring classic, which i mistakenly assumed was a two parter and called it that in the review of the first film…. and yet it still IS a two parter, and it, with this second film focusing on the figure of Milady De Winters and covering basically all the way up to the novel’s finale.

Makes sense, and that much is true, but the script changes some things around and we have it basically ending on a cliffhanger ending… but apparently not for a “Three Muskeeters Part 3”, though many forget this is the first of a series of books about D’Artagnan and fellas, and apparently there are some spin-offs in the works, so yep, most likely this is the set-up for a “Dumas-verse”.

That said, this “part 2” is a good continuation, the energy and intensity to the fight scenes of the first part is still there, Eva Green as Milady gets a good bout as the anti-heroine Milady, and there’s quite the fun to be had still, but sadly it feels kinda rushed, even more than the first part, as some character that were set up to be important barely have a sub-plot or do anything of relevance to do, and i won’t deny at times i felt, if not lost, a bit hurried along the many characters, conspirancies, plans and such, to the point you can follow it but barely.

It there ever was a movie that could have used half a hour of extra runtime, this is one, because it could have actually benefitted from it in a noticeable way, and made this second part as good as the first one instead of decent if messy.

[EXPRESSO] The Iron Claw (2023) | Dynasty Warriors

Wrestling films are nothing new, but sure as hell i’m more curious when we have A24 distribute a wrestling film, but aside from that initial marketing hook, there’s actually a fascinating tale here that i feel isn’t famous or overly familiar to most outside of the wrestling community, because i have a very passing interest in the thing and i didn’t know the story of this wrestling family at all.

The Iron Claw tells the story of the Von Eirich family, with the father Fritz gathering notoriety in Texas and adjacent wrestling leagues (his signature move being the titular “Iron Claw” head grab) in the early 80s, and him basically founding a wrestling dynasty, as he trains all his sons to be wrestlers themselves, subjecting them to a strict training all together, so one day the belt of world wrestling champion will fall in the hand of the family, and also to make them stronger, tougher, in the hope they don’t get hit by the so called “curse” that struck all the previous Von Eirich family members.

While it focuses mostly on the oldest surviving son, Kevin (Zac Efron), the movie tells of the family ascension through the ranks of the violently competitive business of professional wrestling, the behind the scenes side of the sport in its pre-corporate era, its victories and the human toll that the father’s quest for his wrestling dynasty demands, due to his constant pushing for supremacy at all costs that he allegedly did to avoid the very same tragedies that ultimately befall his children.

The cast (including a truly transformed Zac Efron) is nothing short of stellar, the performances amazing, and the emotional punch delivered by the emphasis on tragedy doesn’t preclude some positive light shining and breaking through the toxic deadlock of their “fate”.

12 Days Of Dino Dicember #35: Walking With Dinosaurs 3D (2013)

Figured we would eventually feature a dinosaur documentary film into Dino Dicember somewhat…. not yet, because we’re not talking about the BBC’s prolific and historically signifcant series of dinosaur documentaries, we’re talking about the movie based on those.

Which doesn’t mean much since i didn’t grow up seeing that BBC miniseries, quite odd given i was interested in dinosaurs as a boy, and you can bet by me making a recurring yearly rubric about the dinos, i still am.

Though doing some research on the BBC series made me wonder why the fuck was the point of making a movie when the series’ main appeal, one that would influence later prehistoric life documentaries, the idea of making a traditional nature documentary but using advanced state of the art CG to recreat the extinct creatures that once romped n stomped on planet Earth.

Exactly the kind of concept that really doesn’t need to have a plot attached, but i guess because any IP of some success has to have a movie, even just to remind people that the series still exist.

And to make some movie tie-in videogames, because dino moolah.

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[EXPRESSO] Napoleon (2023) | House Of Bonaparte

A new, modern Ridley Scott movie with very split reception, must be a day of the week.

I’ll be frank, i did enjoy House Of Gucci, but i would be lying if i was posivitely surprised by Ridley Scott’s take on a Napoleone Bonaparte historical biopic.

It’s not outright bad, but there’s definitely something wrong when the script manages to almost fumble Joaquin Phoenix playing Napoleon, the performance is great as expect, the problem is that Napoleon is written like a ruffian, pillage-happy tyrant lacking any finesse or complexity, making it harder to believe him as the tactical war mastermind he was, not helped by some scenes that i don’t believe were meant to be funny, but are.

Which is not a small issue for the protagonist of a historical biopic, one that here clearly depicted to be pathetic and petty above anything else, like the usual stock comical depiction of Napoleon… which doesn’t gel with everything else we’re told and shown, so comes off as transparently biased and confusing portrayal of the character that fails to be interesting or in-depth.

As expected it’s a fairly lenghty affair that depicts Napoleon from his early rise to power as a young army officer for France to his crowning as Emperor, until his exile and death, all with a focus on his relationship with Empress Josephine.

Even ignoring the many, deliberate and sometimes really obvious for everyone historical innacuracies. (which i personally don’t care much about)… it just feels lacking, bloated and sometimes kinda random as we skip from event, with years going by and no one looking any older, or with very few of the battles getting any extended focus as the campal magniloquent massacres you expect, but nothing to really write home about for this tier of epics.

Sadly disappointing.

The Flying Luna Clipper (1987) [REVIEW] | Laserdisc Vaporware Of Yore

Think there is little to new variety to the blog, maybe lamenting i don’t review stuff like Walerian Borowczyk’s filmography? Too many occasional ninjas, exploitation flicks, or ninjaxploitation flicks? You’re wrong, but for the sake of it, we’re going into proper obscure, cult classic weird territory with The Flying Luna Clipper, the best intro movie to a game that doesn’t exist.

Imagine an obscure japanese point and click game heavy on surreal imagery of moon faced TV presenters, birdmen and anthro fruits, all natively dubbed in nearly “engrish” fashion, but instead of having to solve inventory puzzles or explore or witness dream scenarios while Osamu Sato tunes play in the background… minus the gameplay aspect.

Because this was never meant to be a game, but a showcase of what the MSX line of 8-bit computers could accomplish, an art film distributed by Sony and directed by Ikko Ono, the graphic designer mostly known for the cover artworks of MSX Mazagine, also having a column in the magazine itself for various illustrations, Ikko’s Gallery, that would later be featured in this film, presented by/as “Ikko’s Theathre”.

And it’s the very definition of forgotten gem, since it did receive various releases on home video in Japan at the time, but it was basically only salvaged from the darkness in 2015 when Matt Hawkins found a copy of its Laserdisc release in a thrift store, and uploaded it to Youtube, and ever since growing its niche popularity, to the point it’s definitely one of the main inspiration for what would later become the “vaporwave” art scene, itself stemming from the music style of the same name.

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[EXPRESSO] Inu Oh (2022) | Rock The Biwa

Masaaki Yuasa is back in cinemas after 2019’s Ride Your Wave, as in it finally hit theathers here, and this time he’s ready to bring in a tale of Heike era Japan’s Sergent Pepper Magical Mystery Tour, minus the Earth Wind And Fire collab and the quest for the musical instruments, but with fantasy elements set to blow the minds of the 14^th centhury Japan’s musical scene.

Set in ye old medieval Japan, the movie follows the friendship of a blind musician Tomona, and a physically deformed dancer that calls himself Inu Oh (“Dog King”), as they travel through the Ashigaka era, performing in an odd troupe and rising to fame to their artistical prowess, despite them being ostracized by society for their appearances and differences..

It’s a fantastic and creative take on jidai-geki narrative, posing the question of what would it be if a rock n roll revolution swept through 14^th centhury japan, with the protagonists not only expressing themselves though fame and success, but also being literal mediums of ghosts from the Heike era that just want their stories told, to be heard, even if they don’t belong in the approved history chronicles the government is redacting and enforcing for the sake of unification.

It’s a beatifully, psychedelic animation musical that pays homage to classic rock music but doesn’t just pay lip service through the surreal and stylish visuals Yuasa is known for (handled masterfully by Science Saru), the amazing musical numbers as they retell the stories of spirits that history forgot, an ode to the ones on the margin, the rejects, the exponged, and how despite everything, someone will come to give them a voice, to tell their tales through the power of art.

All in a packed yet concise 100 minutes runtime.

A masterpiece, highly recommended.

[EXPRESSO] El Conde (2023) | Pinochet The Dirty Old Man

Pablo Larrain, after years of historical biopic dramas about his home country of Chile, he finally tackles Pinochet…. by reinventing him as a vampire that has lived on since the French Revolution, faked his death many times, and most famously established a dictatorial bloody regime.

But after 250 plus years of undeath, he just wants to die, and this causes the vultures to come, in the form of Pinochet’s mortal sons, hungry for more blood money to inherit, and an exorcist nun is also sent in by the Church to kill the monster… and see if he drops some fat cash, too.

We’ve seen the vampire comedy format used to tackle various themes, and there’s definitely potential in making Pinochet a literal horror monster to comment on his legacy and the political troubles of modern Chilean society, in how the past keeps repeating and evil finds a way, and indeed the satire is relentless… but the comedy is surprisingly scarce, mostly stemming from excess cruelty via dialogue more than graphic content (gore is far from missing, btw).

Even that feels like breadcrumbs, for a 2 hours runtime with a geriatric pacing, fitting, perhaps, but it’s really not that funny, the narration is ironically lacking proper bite, and the elements of horror, history and humour do not so much gel together as are just placed there, neglected of proper growth more than balanced against each other.

The black and white photography it’s excellent, acting it’s good, it has some great golden age horror atmosphere at times, but El Conde ultimately just feels stuffy, too slow and bloated for its own good, and despite all the pretense, there’s not much under the gothic capery to gawk at.

Interesting experiment, but a disappointing one that’s also hard to sit through, to my dismay.