Dino Dicember #10: Raptor (2001)

With a title that cuts to the chase and it being released 5 years after Carnosaur 3: Primal Species, first question is how and why you would consider it related to the Carnosaur series, at all?

I guess because is produced by Corman yet again under his company New Concorde… and due to the fact it uses stock footage from all the Carnosaur movies. Heck, even the DVD cover it’s also 40 % stock footage of the ones used in the american releases!

Continua a leggere “Dino Dicember #10: Raptor (2001)”

Dino Dicember #9: Carnosaur 3: Primal Species (1996)

Remember when Carnousaur 2 script couldn’t definitely decide if to consider the first movie or not, so it just gave an explanation for the dinosaurs that could kinda link the two movies together?

Well, the third one doesn’t even try to follow one of the movies or both, so it’s no wonder it was released in the UK simply as “Primal Species”, might as well use the subtitle as the alternate title, since this one wasn’t even conceived as part of the Carnosaur series, originally.

Continua a leggere “Dino Dicember #9: Carnosaur 3: Primal Species (1996)”

Dino Dicember #8: Carnosaur 2 (1995)

2 years later, following the rise of a new dino-human hybrid race… Wait, this is that type of sequel, just slap another number on the name of the previous movie, and do whatever the fuck you want with it, as long its about the same general theme and/or subject. Continuity, thy name is Corman.

This time we have a group of scientist that go a nuclear mining facility in Yucca Mountains (just missing an atomic Tor Johnson followed by gray, dull narration) to investigate a potential meltdown, but instead find dino eggs in one of the caves. Not, not radioactive dinosaurs, that would have been kinda fun, just the boring old cloned type of mutant dinosaurs. You can guess the rest.

Continua a leggere “Dino Dicember #8: Carnosaur 2 (1995)”

Musings on Animal Crossing New Horizons “live service” model

So, i was gonna write this editorial this summer, when the July update for the game reintroduced scuba diving (seen before in AC: New Leaf), but i held off on publishing, waiting to see if it the issues i had with the game had any legs… and now i feel they do.

It’s worth noting i bought the game and played it since launch day, and i have spent like 300 hours on AC New Leaf alone, and a lot on the original AC on Gamecube, not to brag (i’m pretty sure there are a lot of way more dedicated AC players), but to give what i’m about to say some confidence. As in, i know what i’m talking about. Continua a leggere “Musings on Animal Crossing New Horizons “live service” model”

[EXPRESSO] Brahms – The Boy II (2020) | Doll Droppings

I saw The Boy in theathers back then, quite liked it, i knew they made a sequel, by the same director, William Brent Bell, and writer, Stacey Menear, but i kinda forgot about it, until i noticed it’s available as an Amazon Prime Video exclusive, I was.. perplexed by just reading the gist.

The plot follows a young boy, Jude, and his parents, moving into a mansion in the woods to heal, as he and the mother were traumatized by a home invasion incident, and Jude finds a life-sized doll he dubs “Brahms” and becomes creepily attached to.

You could make a sequel to The Boy work, but this movie is a complete cop-out, as it systematically makes sure this is taking place in the same location, set after the events of the first movie… but also wants to be your typical “possessed/evil killer doll” movie, the complete anthesis of The Boy, and make sure you can’t deny or doubt of the doll actually being alive, giving it a backstory that – conveniently – didn’t factor in one iota in the first one.

Even worse, it’s also utter crap in itself, with some of stupidest (and bloodless) “kills” you will ever see in a movie that takes itself so serious, and disappointing, frustrating and stupid “anti-twists”. There’s no intrigue, no mistery, no atmosphere, nothing to it, the good production values and decent acting plain wasted on such dreck. Of course the ending is also a complete cop-out. Of course.

Among stand-alone horror sequels that are way better than the first one, The Boy II is the rare shitty sequel that not only it’s completely unnecessary, misses the point of the previous one, but it’s so garbage it almost retroactively taints the original one, destroying any goodwill gained with it.

Ghostbusters PS4 [REVIEW] | Bustin’ One Out

Quietly put out as a sequel to the 2016 Ghostbusters movie (the mediocre one people went on harassment campaigns for), this is a budget release through and through, but it’s Activision publishing it, so of course they sold for 60 bucks as its MRSP. Must squeeze all the money out of this licensed cash grab shit-turnip as we can before people notice or stop caring about Ghostbusters.

Or until we release a remaster of the WAAY better (flawed, but still WAY better) Ghostbusters game on PS3/X360/PC. Which just happens to be free on the Epic Store, i didn’t even plan this, but at the time of posting, it’s still given away for free on that platform/store, so i’d recommend nabbing it.

Continua a leggere “Ghostbusters PS4 [REVIEW] | Bustin’ One Out”

Zoombies 2 (2019) [REVIEW] | Aardvark Undead Attack

Apparently the first one did alright from a financial standpoint, so 3 years later, we got a sequel, also directed by Glenn Miller.

And by sequel The Asylum means adding a number to the title, because despite the first one doing sequel bait at the very last second, this doesn’t follow up on the adventures of Kifo, undead silverback gorilla with a broken heart and rotting flesh, no. Guess trying to give the zombie gorilla a Frankenstein’s monster style “vengeance arc” was too much effort, so they didn’t do that.

Continua a leggere “Zoombies 2 (2019) [REVIEW] | Aardvark Undead Attack”

Bunnyman Vengeance (2017) [REVIEW] | The Final Chapter

The third and final movie in the Bunnyman trilogy (which i couldn’t even import on DVD, and i’m not using a VPN because Amazon didn’t licensed it on Amazon Video for my country), according to the IMDB description, and so far this is still true. I think it’s safe to say we can all move on after this, and i will not have to review Bunnyman Takes Manhattan in 2021. Hopefully.

So yeah, the final one, the final Bunnyman movie, though the title confuses me.

Continua a leggere “Bunnyman Vengeance (2017) [REVIEW] | The Final Chapter”

Bunnyman 2 AKA The Bunnyman Resurrection (2014) [REVIEW] | He Never Died

First off, let’s clarify, because this is yet another series with confusing alternative titles.

The first movie’s original title was just “Bunnyman”, and was kept in the film itself even in the UK DVD release, sold under the title “The Bunnyman Massacre”.

This one is a “direct” sequel, with its original title being “The Bunnyman Massacre” (with a more appropriate working title of “The Bunnyman 2”), and with an UK DVD release as “The Bunnyman Resurrection”. Because we are somewhat affectionate, almost nostalgic of this awful old trend of titles for movie sequels, laughable but oddly comforting in its own crap way.

Even if they don’t fit the movie itself, Bunnyman didn’t die at the end of the first one.

Continua a leggere “Bunnyman 2 AKA The Bunnyman Resurrection (2014) [REVIEW] | He Never Died”

Oneechanbara: Bikini Zombie Slayers WII [REVIEW] | Carpal Zombie Syndrome

As i said in the review of Bikini Samurai Squad, D3 Publisher released that and this Wii exclusive the same year in western territories. Aside being a fairly logical choice to do a “double feature” with games clearly drawing heavily from exploitation cinema of the 70s, these two games happen to be sequels, main installments in the Oneechanbara, as Bikini Zombie Slayers (“Oneechanbara 4”) is set after Bikini Samurai Squad (“Oneechanbara 3”), and features all characters from that game.

The story itself… it’s hard to say it has a plot. I played it years ago and completely forgot anything about the plot, so i had to google it and even that didn’t yield any synopsis, so i had to bust out the game’s physical manual, the old, old school way. One that would never fail… if they actually print any kind of story in the booklet to begin with.

They didn’t in this case.

Continua a leggere “Oneechanbara: Bikini Zombie Slayers WII [REVIEW] | Carpal Zombie Syndrome”