Forbidden Fish Is The Sweetest/ Ningyohime no Gomen ne Gohan AKA The Cannibal Siren [MANGA REVIEW] | Era No Uta

I’d usually go by the official English name of a manga series first, but in this case i’m gonna have to use the localized title publisher JPOP chose for the Italian release, La Sirena Cannibale (The Cannibal Siren), which is actually even better than the original, Ningyohime no Gomen ne Gohan , translating literally to “The Mermaid Princess’ Guilty Meal”, even the latter is more descriptive (and sounds better in Japanese due to the allitteration).

I guess it made more sense given how Italy hugely/almost entirely created and fed the 60s “cannibal boom” in cinema, but i do like it better, sometimes localized titles here can be deceiving, excessively forward (to the point of “spoiling” any surprise effect) or just absurd, but THIS is the kind of “to the point” title that makes sense, so i’m gonna that for the rest of the review.

Written by Hiroshi Noda and illustrated by Takahiro Wakamatsu (also behind Love After World Domination and No Longer Allowed In Another World), The Cannibal Siren is about the mermaid princess Era, who lives happily in the ocean with her fish friends, beloved by all in the undersea kingdom, all is well… until one of her friends get fished out by humans.

She then runs (transforming her fish tail into legs, as mermaids do) to the surface in incognito to pay the final respects, seeing her friend being served by the nearby sushi restaurant, but then, prompted by a patron that jokingly encourages her to eat it – and i quote – “otherwise it won’t go to heaven”, she tries, and finds out she finds it delicious.

Then she begins spiraling out in a cannibalistic frenzy, ready to jump ashore to eat whichever of her subjects is fished out and served on a plate, all on the hush and despite knowing how she is a monster for doing that.

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[EXPRESSO] Until Dawn (2025) | Happy Bloody New Death Day

An Until Dawn movie adaptation might sound stupid, and pointless… it does, but this isn’t an adaptation of the main storyline of Supermassive Games’ title, it’s actually a standalone story allegedly taking place in the Until Dawn universe,

Kinda funny (and stupid) to have the film adaptation of a game that had systems built in to ensure you lived through the decisions you made… have the central gimmick being a time loop, with the idea being that every time the teens (come to a visitor centre in the valley where Melanie, Clover’s sister, mysteriously disappeared a 1 year prior) are killed they change horror subgenre, chased by cursed zombie like creatures and masked killers, the only escape being in them managing to survive until dawn.

Nifty idea, but still, it only kinda makes sense only when you consider this from the macro level of Supermassive Games’ various efforts in the “cinematic adventure game” fashion, and even so, it’s a stretch, let’s be real, this feels more like a rejected Happy Death Day (or Bloody New Year) style script – directed though by David F. Sandberg of Lights Out and Shazam fame – that got the Until Dawn branding (and a couple of touch ups to make sure something from the game made the cut) slapped on it mid-way through production, to ensure this get more butts in theathers.

I will admit the new gimmick laid on top sounds really fun and kinda mirrors the game’s using various elements from slashers of different eras all together… shame they give up mid-way on their own selling point (boy they do skimp on the “subgenre change” concept), but for what it ultimately is, the “Until Dawn” movie’s got decent acting, it’s entertaining, has some good gore effects, making for a decent time overall.

12 Days Of Dino Dicember #38: Massacre In Dinosaur Valley (1985)

In a way, we’re breaking ourselves new ground in terms of dinosaur movies.

Technically.

What i’m getting at is that Massacre In Dinosaur Valley… doesn’t actually feature any dinosaur.

Come one, couldn’t even be arsed to reuse footage from a more recent dinosaur film? Sure as shit they couldn’t reuse footage from One Million B.C. Or the 1925 The Lost World, since this one is in color… because that would imply them spending time in colourizing the old b&w footage.

But yeah, i’m not surprised that some synopses do actually list anything BUT dinosaurs being into the actual film, because guess what, this isn’t a dinosaur film.

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The Spooktacular Eight #17: Anthrophophagus (1980)

Somehow, we live in a world where not only Joe “Aristide Massaccesi” D’Amato’s Anthrophophagus has been remade but also received a “sequel” (after his “spiritual sequel”, Absurd). How lucky are we?

Yep, indeed, the infamous gore flick that had George Eastman as an amphibious cannibal going around a deserted and isolated Greek island, in this occasion stumbling upon a pregnant women, his equivalent of a double combo fast food menù, but after all, it’s called Anthrophophagus, the latin term for “cannibal”… unless it’s the theatherical US release, called Savage Island.

Or the very cut down UK home video release as “The Grim Reaper”, which also contains a different score, using music from Kingdom Of The Spiders.

I’d recommend looking for the Severin Blu-Ray release of the film, as it has a lot of extras, it’s a 2K restoration that improves the video quality from previous releases notably, a previously unseen deleted scenes, if you can/want.

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[EXPRESSO] Bones And All (2022) | Suspicious Minds

After his controversial but quite good remake of Suspira in 2018, Luca Guadagnino returns to the big screen with the coming of age horror road movie Bones And All.

An interesting proposition to be sure, sure as hell i’m not gonna turn down any chance to see a cannibal coming of age romance on the big screen by a big name director.

Set in 1980s Middle America, the movie it’s about teen Maren Yearly ( Taylor Russell) as she has to flee with her father from Virginia, after she bites off one of her classmate’s finger in a cannibalistic pulse, settling somewhere else then getting abandoned by her father as he doesn’t know what to with her anymore, only leaving a recording in case she wants to confront her mother.

On her voyage she also meets another young cannibal, Lee (Timothee Chalamet), and as they travel their way through small American towns they begin to fall in love.

The cast it’s great, the idea it’s sound, not that original, but still, promising, the blending of horror and romance works pretty well, and the period soundtrack it’s excellent.

BUT it’s also very uneven, as Guadagnino wants it to be set into a specific American period and mood, but it also feels more european in terms of how the themes of sexual liberation are tackled, so it never fully comes together in this regard.

There are still some noteworthy sequences, but the romance isn’t that great, the characters not that interesting, and – again – it’s pretty uneven, not helped by some really gratituous scenes (like the “pre-kill cornfield gay masturbation” one ).

Bones And All it’s not bad, but for all its pretension and ambition, it amounts to just being decent and kinda disappointing, since Guadagnino can and has done better.

The Spooktacular Eight #13: Eaters: Rise Of The Dead (2010)

You don’t want zombies that much.

Buf if italian zombie movies?

NOT the old ones you probably like, obviously.

Despite horror having mostly plauted as a prolific genre in terms of high profile releases here in Italy (and indie releases often being insanely obscure to find and often almost not worth bothering)…. somehow i still find here and then a low budget obscure italian-produced horror movie that managed to get itself released on DVD in the UK.

And if Arachnicide could do it, of course Eaters can too.

The subtitle to help cataloging can be stamped on the UK cover art for the DVD, why not?

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The Spooktacular Eight #12: Microwave Massacre (1979)

There are many types of massacres.

You can opt for the classics of axe, chainsaw and proper sharp instruments that while not built for slaying the fellow man are indeed excellent for severing, cutting and shit like that.

Why not think outside the box… or inside the box, as in go for a power drill, a woodchipper, a nailgun or even just use all the things inside a toolbox?

Go cannibal while you’re at it.

I mean, this movie decided to do so but also title its massacre after a microwave… which isn’t the actual weapon of killing, while being pivotal to the protagonist’s agenda, after he uses a salt grinder to kill his nagging wife May, obsessed with haute cuisine, during a drunken rage one night.

He sober ups the next day, completely unaware of what he did the night before… until he finds the corpse stuffed into their new huge ass microwave, decides to quickly dispose of his wife remains by dismembering and hiding it in the fridge, only to later accidentally take a bite out of May’s tinfoiled hand, liking the taste, things lead to things, and to Donald cooking the body parts in the microwave, finding the “blood feast” quite delish. So much that he starts killing hookers so he keep his cannibalistic cuisine going, sharing it with his unsospecting coworkers, even.

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Dead Island: Definitive Edition PS4 [REVIEW] #deadislandretrospective

I started playing this mid-summer for kicks, but what do you know, in early september Dead Island 2 actually resurfaced after 8 years of radio silence, multiple developers change, and it’s coming out… in February 2023. Odd date, but i guess Deep Silver isn’t keen on waiting for a timely summer release, after the game overlong stay in development hell, so much that Techland spun another zombie series after basically being denied work on any Dead Island game after Riptide.

Perfect time for a retrospective of the series as a whole, so let’s start from the original Dead Island, in its Definitive Edition form (which on PS4 and X-Box One came packaged as a collection with the direct sequel Riptide and the spin-off Dead Island: Retro Revenge included).

We’re reviewing this version also because i’ve played Dead Island on PS3 when it was new… and this was indeed one of those games that could have used some enhancing and overhauling, etc.

I guess some history won’t go amiss, but if you happened to… not exist in 2012, you missed one of the most perfect example of misleading, bullshit hype trailers ever made, as originally we were fed a non-gameplay trailer that went for shock value (depicting a dead zombie child, among other things), trying to make you believe the game would treat the topic with some seriousness… only to find out Deep Silver were just being the deceitful liars they are, as we had a game where you combine shit to make fire-laden blades and battery-powered electrical pikes, with a slow-mo effect for when you decapite the plentiful undeads, or crush their rotten brains under your foot.

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[EXPRESSO] Jungle Cruise (2021) | Steamboat Amazon Ride

Time and time again, Disney comes back to the familiar well of turning Disneyland rides-attractions into live action movies, hoping to avoid another The Country Bears and strike that sweet, profitable Pirates Of The Carribean lightning once more.

Can’t say i’ve ever even seen this ride in person, but then again i’m not even sure i even went to Disneyland to begin with, and this doesn’t matter anyway.

This time we have a throwback to 40-50s jungle adventure films, with steamboats, fearless guides with pith helmets, treasures guarded by perilous jungle animals, cursed soldiers, evil german royalty (not nazis since this is set during WWI, but it makes virtually no difference if they were), adventurous researchers and natives in “ethnic get up”. And Dwayne Johnson.

It’s as generic as it looks and as generic as they come, clearly prioritizing spectacle and action in order to avoid the audience NOT being stimulated, even if the scenes don’t call for action, there is it anyway, just shovel it in. This is through and through a manifactured Disney summer blockbuster, as obvious as me pointing it out (as if was needed), and ones expectes it to be just a fun, throw-away experience to kill 90 minutes.

BUT i gotta admit it’s fun, it manages to incorporate ride-like elements into the plot, often giving them some minor little twists to the usual cliches for fun, the cast is clearly overlyqualified for the roles and the dialogues, but they clearly have fun with the stock characters and the often silly lines (or deliberately bad jokes), it made genuinely laugh in more than a couple occasion.

It’s quite cute, it’s pretty much what it says it is, it’s a cute, mild, fun little adventure while it lasts, one you’ll quickly forget in any detail after watching.

Zombi Holocaust (1980) [REVIEW] | With Extra Falernum

Let me take you back the days of italian zombie movies, with one of the slightly more obscure films, even if we’re still in the familiar territory of italian directors credited with laughable american pseudonyms and a plethora of alternate titles, it wouldn’t be an italian zombie from that era if it somehow got the alternate title of Zombie 3 (yes, with an extra “e”), others trying to link it to the “Zombi non-series” or the cannibal subgenre, one that happens to have been mostly dominated by italian genre directors.

Zombi Holocaust does have 2 recognized alternative titles, Queen Of The Cannibals and Dr. Butcher: M.D., and to be honest they’re not too that outrageous or mystifying, because this one decide to go ahead and combine a cannibal and zombie movie together, throwing in a mad scientist that created his own zombie army, as an expedition to the Eastern Indies finds out more than they bargained for, as this group of doctors and journalist went there to investigate, after episodes of cannibalism by immigrants of that particular island started happening in various city hospitals.

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