[EXPRESSO] Never Let Go (2024) | Always sometimes monsters

After the flood crocodile horror bout of Crawl, Alexandre Aja returns with a new horror thriller, Never Let Go, a supernatural tale with a folkish horror bent that feels a little Bird Box and a bit of The Watchers, as it tells the tale of a family of three living deep in the woods, with the mother and children leaving the safe haven of their blessed home only with a rope tying them to the house, so that “the evil can’t get them”, as the mother -often seeing monstruous creatures lurking upon them – tells her sons.

As we learn more of the daily rituals and customs the family performs in order to survive deep in the woods, we start to wonder if this is just the extreme result of the mother being mentally ill or hallucinating after a trauma, alongside the younger brother, whom once stayed outside the house ropeless and never felt or saw the “evil”.

And it would have benefitted the movie if continued the mystery or opted for a different resolution, because the drama is intriguing, you wanna see where exactly this situation can lead as it becomes clearer this is most certainly the horrible and unwanted outcome borne out of motherly love and schizophrenic degrade.. but then in the final act the script retires to the obvious and expected “countertwist” we have seen coming and wished it didn’t do, kinda writing itself into a corner where it either that or feeling like the movie is “throwing away” its entire set up.

It’s a shame because the final act basically makes Never Let Go slide from “quite good” to “quite decent”, the performances and direction are great but the final nosediving into cliched territory, with a banal ending too… it’s quite frustrating.

Still worth checking out.

Platformation Time Again #1: Ty The Tasmanian Tiger HD [PS4/STEAM]

HISTORY

After Pangaea was no more, Sony released the Playstation 2.

I did receive one for Christmas 2002, and if you also did, you will remember the original “fat” model was kind of a piece of shit, but besides that, that generation of machines would eventually become the “Twilight Of The Gods” age for the mascot platformer, which was also often the “collectathon” kind of platformer and had already peaked, especially on the Nintendo 64, where Rareware did crystalize decades of 2D platformer and collectible obsession with Banjo Kazooie, before completely quintupling down on this style with the infamous Donkey Kong 64.

While they were starting to feel like a dying trend, it must be made clear that even if they were not as rampant as on the PS1 and Nintendo 64, there were still a LOT of 3D platformers that console generation, either sequels of legacy series or new IP s, because they were still quite profitable, and – while shrunk – the market for these kind of games did exist, Nintendo aside that kept doing their thing as they have been for decades, regardless of trends or logic or many other things.

What i mean by this is that while Naughty Dog continued their platform games legacy with the Jak Daxter series, other studios threw their hat in the ring with new mascot platformer, hoping one day to see them playing golf, tennis or racing each other, and the Australian Krome Studios were certaintly one of those studios that did such a thing, with Ty The Tasmanian Tiger, published by EA Games and released in 2002 on PS2, X-Box and Gamecube.

Makes more sense than having Polish people making games about kangaroos, i guess.

Continua a leggere

[EXPRESSO] Speak No Evil (2024) | Discord The Demon Not

Sadly i was not able to see the 2022 Danish original before this one arrived in theathres, figures we don’t get that but the Blumhouse produced american remake , and with a trailer that basically gave everything away. So due to my circumstances, i will have to judge the movie on its own, assuming the original was most likely better. At least i paid less than 4 bucks for the ticket.

(seriously, we still doing these fucking American remakes of foreign horror films?)

The premise see a London dwelling American family vacationing in Italy bond with a british one (also with a kid that has problems), later accepting the british family invitation at their house for a weekend in the English countryside.

Things… are what they seem, trailer aside, you can tell there’s something weird with these people, with red flags more and more blatant, as the movie deliberately stretches credibility hard, of how stupid can these people get in spite of so many “heavy hints”.

All obviously to comment on how we bend ourselves to avoid conflict, about the overimportance given to manners over values. which is ironic because when the mask falls off and the british family goes full blown psycho, it makes like all the charade before kinda pointless, because it led exactly to what you’d expect, to something like The Strangers, but without having any twist, not doing anything clever with it, nor doing anything graphic at all, and overexplaining itself too many times.

There’s basically no scares because of these, but thanks to some strong performances, especially James McAvoy’s that basically salvages the whole thing, and a competent direction by James Watkins (The Lady In Black, Eden Lake),.it’s somehow just mediocre, if it didn’t have those it would crumble in complete subpar, untintentionally hilarious farce.

[EXPRESSO] Trap (2024) | Dad Of The Year

I wasn’t completely sold on this one, since the trailer “spoils” the supposed twist of the movie, so i wondered if M. Night was gonna do on an anti-twist spree following Knock At The Cabin… the result being yes but also no.

The premise sees a dad bring his daughter to a concert of her favourite singer, Lady Raven (played by actual singer and daughter of M. Night, Saleka Shyamalan), and after noticing a lot of security around, he manages to learn of the entire concert actually being an elaborate trap to finally catch an infamous serial killer called “The Butcher”, to finally catch… him.

There’s actually more to it, not really an outlandish twist, but one that actually makes sense and explains a lot of questions, plus many unexpected turns which i won’t spoil, without making you feel like a fool for investing yourself in the concert part, which it’s already quite intriguing in itself, as you wanna see how the killer is gonna try to outsmart the security measures as the police and expert profiler try to close in on him.

The killer itself it’s not quite original in terms of motivations or writing, but Josh Harnett’s performance perfectly sells his dual persona of loving father and elaborate serial killer.

This helps as a “crutch” to the otherwise clever but not that plausible premise, one stretched out in a way that never makes the film proper scary or tense, especially in the final part that drags on and lead to a sequel bait ending (really could have done without that) but undeniably intriguing as you wanna see how it’s gonna play out.

It’s about as flawed as most his films tend to be, but i’d say Trap is mostly good, one of his better ones as of late.

[EXPRESSO] The Well (2023) | Castle Freaks

More italian horror, this time from a more recognized yet fairly fresh name, Federico Zampaglione , “fairly” as in he has been for decades the frontman of a popular italian band, Tiromancino, but since the late 2000s he also started directing horror and giallo films, having a Rob Zombie-esque dealio as he casts his wife, Claudia Gerini (a renowed actress in her own right) in his film.

And while it technically had its premiere in 2023, only now it’s getting limited screenings in some regions here in Italy, with plans for more international releases.

The Well is about an art restorer, Lisa Grey (Lauren LaVera), sent to a small italian village in order to restore a medieval painting that has been damaged in a fire decades and decades ago, unaware that there’s a curse on it…

I haven’t seen Zampaglione previous feature length horror films, but i must say i’m pleasantly surprised, given how often modern italian horror films are shit or confusingly made by people that seem to be ashamed or downright hate the very genre they dedicate themselves to.

Given it’s an indie production, i’m honestly amazed at how good the monster make up and the old-fashioned practical gore effects are (some nasty gruesome shit like face ripping and bowel diggery), acting is decent and honestly direction is quite solid, touching mostly predictable but very satisfying ground with the premise and execution, gotta give props for what’s a “Bad End” i did not expect.

Gotta love the cameo from a now aged Giovanni Lombardo Radice, too.

It’s a pretty good throwback to old school italian horror, even despite some questionable stylistical and directorial choices here and there, the production values screaming for some extra budget to properly “bloom”, The Well is a good, solid italian horror film.

Recommended.

[EXPRESSO] Here After – L’Aldilà (2024) | Facade Of Horror

I’ll admit i watched this only because its part of a national promotion on italian and european films, so the ticket was real cheap, and it’s an italian horror film, i just gotta give them a shot, regardless.

The plot concerns a mute teenage girl skilled in piano, Robin, as one day has an accident leading to her having a pre-death experience, as against all odds she comes back, only for her mother to notice that something isn’t right, as she worries someone else might be in there.

An increansingly worrysome and creepy set of events surrounding Robin force her mother, Claire, to confront her own past experience that marked their lives forever.

It’s not an ugly film, the Rome setting is nice and cinematography is decent, it’s a professionally put together film with mostly decent acting, but it’s also kinda deceiftul, since it’s actually a supernatural drama masking itself as both a possession/exorcism film and something in the vein in Babadook, parading some of the elements from both around to sell the facade.

And it is a facade because the movie is neither of the two, since it straddles the line but ultimately just stays there, deciding on nothing all the way through, committing to both in idea but not reality, so it’s no surprise the final result it’s an insipid compromise that satisfies no one, with a positive ending that feels more like a convenient way to avoid addressing the point of some previous scenes.

But the kicker is that, it’s also ungodly boring, so cliched it hurts and makes it an utterly predictable drag all the way through, making its 90 minutes runtime feel bloated, even more when it doesn’t trust the audience, so it has to spell out what else everyone already correctly predicted hours ago.

[EXPRESSO] The Animal Kingdom (2023) | Goo goo g’ joob

The Animal Kingdom is a movie of many things, as it has superhero-ish and body horror elements, but it’s actually a fresh thriller-coming of age French movie from director Thomas Cailley, about a nearby future where a bizarre disease start turning people into animal-human hybrids – called “critters” by the populace – needing to control and herd them into contaiment facilities.

The plot sees a teen, Emilè, and his dad, a cook, move out to a small town in order to stay closer where Emile’s mother is being treated for her mutation, obviously keeping it a secret from everyone they met, a task that becomes harder as Emile’s mom, after an accident with the car trasporting them, escapes in the surrounding wooded area, alongside other “critters”, and nearly impossible as Emile himself notices he starts to mutate, with newfound fur, claws, and other bodily alterations..

Despite the Island Of Dr. Moreau-like premise, it’s mostly a thriller and a coming of age film, as Emile matures and goes through more than the usual teen changes, makes friends, and how the world around him reacts in various forms to these mutated “kemono people”, serving the expected but still well tackled themes of racism, tolerance, love, and mostly about freedom.

And yet, even if it seems like The Animal Kingdom it’s trying to juggle too many elements at once, the final result is quite interesting, as it manages to handle the themes and ideas very well, giving them a fresh spin, one that works by putting at the forefront the well characterized father-son duo and the drama that follows from the situation, harvesting it to end up on an empowering and understanding, almost tender note.

Even better, the effects are honestly great.

A nice surprise, one i recommend checking out whenever you can.

[EXPRESSO] Bad Boys: Ride Or Die (2024) | Crank IV: Cartellopallooza

So, i guess the Bad Boys series is back to stay after it got resurrected in 2020 with For Life, with this fresh new entry released a few days ago in cinema, and both meme slapper and Martin Lawrence are doing these until they die or release a movie as bad as Rambo V.

Which i don’t particularly mind because i’m also kinda indifferent to the series, but For Life was enjoyable, a decent action comedy flick (though honestly i don’t even remember what it was about unless i look it up), and Ride Or Die pretty much is on the same level, maybe a little better because they don’t have to appeal for nostalgia, not that hard this time around anyway.

I’d discuss the plot but honestly there’s very little besides picking one of the few types and variations of plots this kind of movie could feature, and this time the spinning wheel lands on a corrupt politician (via a rogue criminal army) trying to defame the “Boys’” old police mentor and frame them for a long time case of corruption in the force about dealing with the drug cartels…

Yeah, very little surprises, same goes for the villains, pretty forgettable too, one so obvious and cartoonish it’s almost a joke, but i will say the chemistry of the main duo still works perfectly fine, delivers some laughs, here thanks to Marcus having a mystical near death experience and going all new age non-sense on Mike’s predicaments, on top of the usual “too old for this shit” shtick, and overall it’s fairly entertaining, with the action scenes having often some decent setpieces to them and the camera work even going for some Crank/Hardcore Henry style sequences.

It’s definitely not boring, decent fun even if far from memorable or original.

[EXPRESSO] Abigail (2024) | A particular set of vampire skills

Abigail poses an intriguing premise, asking what if a kidnapping went south because the gang did not known they were abducting a child vampire, heck, even worse, the daughter of Dracula, before they retired to an unknown villa as they wait for the ransom money?

The result it’s actually quite interesting as the strong premise is taken to some unique degrees since there’s a Tarantino-esque (or Tatantino-adjacent) approach to relationship these criminals have with each other while waiting for the ransom to be paid, and the already strong vibes of Dusk Until Dawn are empowered by the very splattery and over the top amounts of high budget, exploitation levels of gore on display, and the playful element is further strengthened by how it feels almost like a reverse Home Alone, as the child vampire literally plays with them before going for a brutal, sadistic kill, after making the kidnappers feel like they’re in control.

Also, it plays around with the old vampire lore weaknesses for some laughs but also to depict vampires not so much refined monsters but as more cunning feral abominations always hungry for blood, yet somehow manages to have some emotional moments, some strange empathy, it’s a surprisingly strong pastiche that is able to draw nicely from its obvious inspirations but also work on its own and being a fun horror comedy romp that delivers fully on the idea and be hugely entertaining from beginning to end, with a really good cast that includes Kevin Durand and also Giancarlo Esposito (of Far Cry 6 fame) in a minor but still welcome role.

It’s a shame people might sleep on it, because it’s still worth watching even if the trailers are not taking any chance with subtlety and sorta spoiling it….which i kinda understand but kinda not.

Spy X Family: Code White (2023) | Alpine Capers

So, the Spy X Family movie, which feels kinda odd to see release in most territories (EU and english speaking ones) now in late April, as it debuted Dicember 2023 in japanese theathers, an and it’s very easy to notice it was meant as a winter/Christmas release, because of it taking place in a faux-Switzerland-esque city and the tone of a winter holiday vacation.

Not having watched further than Season 1, i was a bit worried to accidentally spoil myself, but this is a non-canonical original story…… that actually doesn’t even really need you to have watched Spy X Family at all, as it introduces the main characters and quickly explains the gist (which i won’t for time’s sake) anyway, you will miss some context for some side characters, but there’s nothing that you can’t catch on the fly by watching the movie.

The plot has the Forger family go into a vacation in the nearby alpine and Switzerland-esque town of Frigis in order to get the recipe for a cake that will make Anya pass the cooking exam at her prestigious school, in turn advancing her career and letting Lloyd get closer to the target of the secret operation he undertook and formed the family for.

But things go south when Anya accidentally gets imbroiled with the army and discovers their plan to undo the fragile peace between non-East Germany and non-West Germany…

It’s a fun time, but it could have been easily a 2 parts long special episode instead, very little feels “cinematic” until deep in the second act, but even in terms of animation quality there’s little (some brief dream sequences, mostly) that feels like this “needed” to be a movie.

Still quite cute and wholesome as is the series itself, but nothing really impressive either way.