Galgameth (1996) [REVIEW] | #giantmonstermarch

We already discussed the best known film from legendary South Korean director Shin Sang-ok (whom sadly passed away in 2004), and i feel one really deserves the epiteth of legend given the history behind the 1985 Bulgasari/Pulgasari, especially as it feels like a last middle finger to the then current North Korean dictator, as him and his wife (kidnapped to make movies for Kim Jong-il, again, not joking, at all) managed to escape while at a Vienna’s film festival.

We went through the whole ordeal for that movie’s review, so i’m not gonna repeat myself too much on this regard, but i do think we’re long overdue for a movie about the whole ordeal, since it’s a perfect case where reality is crazier than fiction.

After his escape in Vienna the director and his wife became US citizens for a while, and during the 90s he made some movies under the pseudonym Simon Sheen, including some “3 Ninjas” sequels, and today’s feature, the ever-so-obscure Galgameth, also known/released as The Legend Of Galgameth or The Adventures Of Galgameth, of course it has alternative titles.

And Galgameth is of interest for us because director Sean McNamara basically recycled the script from Shin Sang-ok’s Pulgasari/Bulgasari remake (the original 1962 Pulgasari is sadly a lost film) but made it into a sword and sorcery film for children. As you do.

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[EXPRESSO] Empire Of Light (2022) | UKinema

From director Sam Mendes (American Beauty, Jarhead, 1917, Skyfall) comes this drama set in 1980’s UK, about the cinema Empire, which used to be a majestic theather with 4 screening rooms (alongside a restaraunt), but is now on the decline due to recession and the cinema’s owner, Mr. Ellis, not really doing much to get the estabilishment’s luster back.

The soul of the place is actually his segretary, Hillary, who is the real glue holding together the place, the workers and the morale with her dedication, despite her ailing mental health and questionable love life, and she is struck by this new recruit, a black man called Steven, as they forge a difficult but sincere relationship, all made more heavy by the overwhelmingly racist tendencies that spike during periods of recessions like this period in british history.

With the expected takeaways of how cinema can be a healing escape, a brief one , while also serving as a way to mend together a broken populace that during recessions and hardships are quick to scapegoat minorities with all kinds of violence, and despite sounding a bit preachy and kinda obvious, they work as the movie takes its time to fully flesh out the characters, their relationship, their issues and how they relate to the turbolent fragment in time the movie it’s set in.

And with a top-notch cast of familiar faces giving out great performances, that helps as well. 🙂

Empire Of Light it’s definitely one of those movies that will require some patience due to arguably slow pace in its first half, but it’s worth waiting for the movie to get into gear as the set up does pays off, and the drama does pack quite the punch.

Maybe more “familiar” material than some might like, but still quite good.

Village Of The Giants (1965) [REVIEW] | #giantmonstermarch

Starting this Giant Monster March with one of the lesser discussed Bert I. Gordon flicks, Village Of The Giants, which also marks the first time our notorius B.I.G would harass poor H.G. Wells, specifically his novel The Food Of The Gods, which would later adapt again in a slightly “less loose” manner with 1976’s Food Of The Gods, spawning a fittingly loose sequel 13 years later, Food Of The Gods Part 2, which didn’t see Bert I. Gordon involved at all, and has somehow even less to do with H.G.Wells’ book.

Good old Bert this time basically used the book reference only so he could crib the idea of people turning into giants… this time via a generic “goo” chemical substance that falls in the hands of a group of teens, making themselves gigantic and decide to rule over the town and its grown ups using this newfound size, because they’re teens, and this movie has a lot more to do with Horror At Party Beach than Food Of The Gods, since it has a lot of elements from the “beach party film” which was indeed quite en vogue at the time, and also about to fizz out before the 70s came to be.

I haven’t strong feelings about the genre, it gave us Beach Blanket Bingo but also Arch Hall Jr. strumming his fuckin guitar while his face looks like they embalmed a Elvis impersonator in wax, and also the classic MST3K episode riffing his ass and teaching the evergreen lesson of watching out for snakes, even when the dub is off sync and the movie might not even have snakes at all.

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[EXPRESSO] Demon Slayer: Prelude To The Swordsmith Village (2023) | Stock Breathing Style (UPDATED)

Okay, i’m not gonna sugarcoat it, this feels a bad joke to pull on the audience.

Sure, this was billed as a compilation film of the second season with the juicy carrot being the inclusion of the first episode from Season 3 of the Demon Slayer anime (covering the Swordsmith Village Arc), which will be airing normally this April, i’m not complaining about that.

But it’s not a compilation of the second season, it’s actually the final 3 episodes of Season 2 plus the never seen before episode 1 of the upcoming third season, and i would question it even being a compilation film, since they did slap the aforementioned episodes together, didn’t even bother to cut out endings, title cards, eyecatches or do any noticeable edits for better narrative flow.

I can kinda understand why only these episodes, as they sports movie level quality animation and are even better to see on the big screen, but this is supposed to be a compilation movie, so it’s a matter of editing… and even then i struggle to use that word, as they mostly added a brief gist of what the series it’s about in form of text over reused footage, and recycled the opening songs over very brief montages of battles and events leading to the action packed finale of the Entertaiment District arc, which you’re thrown upon.

Could have added some voice over narration here and there to give more context than zero or actually summarize the events leading to that, insteading of bugger all.

At least it’s not an extra pricey theathrical release, but still, this is lazy and bad even for a compilation film, complete cashgrab.

Even if episode 1 of Season 3 is quite good, just wait for the season to air regularly as it will.

EDIT 14/03/2022: i was made aware that the original trailer for the movie DID specify the contents as the movie just being the last 2 episodes of Season 2 plus the first one of Season 3, i didn’t know that since why bother seeing the trailer for a recap movie, and many news outlets didn’t quite specify what exactly was in the movie (the ones here in Italy just advertisedit as “recap movie of the Entertaiment District Arc” or something generic and non-descriptive, for once).

So i upgraded my rating to Americano to refelect, as in, it’s at least what they advertised, though this doesn’t fix the fact it was clearly marketed in a vague way by many news outlets (by choice, a malicious person might suggest), nor my complains about it lacking any kind of basic edit of the reused footage,

[EXPRESSO] The Whale (2022) | Smiling Friend

Given the rounds this movie did on Cannes and signaled Fraser return after his career got curbstomped for daring to report abuse, i need not to introduce The Whale (based on a play by Samuel D. Hunter, whom also curated the script for the movie), or his director, Darren Aronofsky (Requiem For A Dream, Black Swan, Mother!, The Wrestler).

Nor to say i was indeed looking forward to this film since announced, with high expectations.

A comedy-drama about an english teacher named Charlie, suffering from acute obesity, as he struggles to do his job remotely, fend off the constant pain of existence caused by his condition, and tries to reconcile with his estranged daughter, whom he abandoned at the age of 8 to live with his lover Alan, trying to win her back somehow, while also being visited by a young missionary boing belonging to an armageddon type of christian sect.

So it deals with some extremely heavy themes of abandoment, death, unconventional love, manipulation and sickness, and even if you argue this one of those movie engineered to make the lead win awards for “best performance”…. this is indeed what one would call the performance of a lifetime, and it does not undermine shit when the movie at the core it’s such a brilliant, scathing flurry of emotionally heavy drama, equally brutal and sweet, with some sparse funny jokes that provide brief levity before ripping your ducts open wide once again, as the misery sinks deep and the plot sees the ambivalent characters scurry in and out the house where “the white whale” resides, revealing more and more traumatic sides of Charlie’s life.

It’s what one would call a real “tear jerker”, profoundly depressing and beautiful for it.

Really fucking good stuff, highly recommended, let’s put it this way.

Giant Monster March Lives Again

It’s March, so you know what that means, some select picks from the monster movie genre, as we try to not do the obvious ones but search deeper within the evergrowing sands of time, pulling out some familiar names as well as some of the more obscure entries, without completely forgoing more recent releases.

It’s not gonna be the more extensive year of the rubric, but i think the picks for this year’s Monster March are some of the better ones so far.

We’ll be starting on the 6th with some vintage rear projected cheese, after some EXPRESSO reviews of some recent releases i couldn’t get to before, see ya!

Pinocchi-O-Rama #2: Pinocchio: A True Story (2021)

Let’s get the “meme boy” one over so we can kill any mystique it could possible accrue in time, by tackling one of the more recent adaptations, the Russian 2021 one that pretty much nobody would have cared about if the english dub had Paulie Shore delivery such a stock effeminate – and most importantly out of place – performance as the titular Pinocchio, especially notable in the clip you’ve seen of him talking to Gepetto of how he wants to see the world on its own, as he ready for it.

Tybald being Pinocchio’s horse, which he never had in the original story, but then again, it bound to be expected from your movie when it can’t even have the gall to call itself “THE true story”.

Just one of the many. Whatever.

I guess someone finally saw Tangled and wanted to have a funny horse character, so much it presents the movie as a story he’s telling you about, giving the basic gist of Pinocchio being carved by Geppetto, dissing the “growing nose” thing and then actually… preseting more than actually narrating the whole thing. Liar. And odd as a Jiminy Cricket replacement. Sort of. Not really.

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Stonehenge Apocalypse (2010) [REVIEW] | Castiel, M.D.

There’s a free bingo slot in the schedule, so you know what it means: randomly picking of a B-movie from my watchlist on Amazon Prime Video, discarding the ones that are not available at the moment or require another paid subscription on top of the Prime one, despite being included before.

I’m SO not paying 10 to 30 bucks so i can watch Ghoulies II.

So instead we are going with the everabundant disaster movie choice, there are enough of these made for TV ones to craft a new artificial landmass, in case need be, and this time we’re doing Stonehenge Apocalypse, from our other recurring peddler of low budget TV movies about disasters, monsters and cheesy B-movie stuff all around, Cinetel Films.

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[EXPRESSO] Ant-Man and The Wasp: Quantumania (2023) | King Kang

Ah yeah, the sequel to that one most people (me included, to be truthful) plain skipped, until they had to hurriedly watch it in order to follow whatever was gonna going on Quantumania.

I say this because i get the feeling many threat this series as “multiverse marmite”, a byproduct of this fucking decade long MCU plan, a lot more “skippable” than others, even if this is supposed to be the movie to kick off Phase 5, i had my expectations fairly low as expected by now, thanks to the evergrowing Marvel fatigue – itself tiresome to point out, even if it needs to be, as years of Marvel movies pile up – doesn’t help.

Anyway, this time Ant-Man and The Wasp….and basically the entire quantum scientist team get sucked into the Quantum Realm, which is quite different than before, housing a myriad of unknown species and races of humanoids, all theathrened by Kang The Conqueror, helped by his servant MODOK, and YES, the screenshots were right, he looks like he escaped from the music video of Peter Gabriel’s Steam, but then again, its a silly design, what the hell did you expect?

He’s actually kinda one of the best things about Quantumania, as the quantum world is very, VERY Star Wars-esque, the villain is decent but feels like purposefully underveloped for future MCU movies, the plot it’s so ironically tiny and feels tacked on (pun), direction is unremarkable, the cast seems to be kinda phoning it in (aside from Jonathan Majors as Kang), and action isn’t great, just incredibly average for these movies.

It’s okay, as in, it’s not boring, it has its moments but it’s just plain “mid”, fairly uninspired, and honestly the two previous Ant Man movies were better, smaller in scope but just more fun overall.

[EXPRESSO] Marcel The Shell With Shoes On (2021) | Solid As They Come

Did not 100 % expect to see this one arrive in theathers here since it’s technically a 2021 release, but it has just now, and i just HAD to see it.

Based on a series of shorts of the same name by the same director, Dean Fleischer-Camp, this mix of stop-motion animation and live-action tells of a recently divorced documentary filmmaker, Dean, whom, while staying at an AirBnB, discover the titular Marcel, a one-inch high, talking, antrophomorphic seashell with one eye and “feet gloves”, living there with his granma Connie.

Fascinated, Dean starts filming the seashell’s daily routines, and when he blows up on the internet, Marcel hopes his newfound success can help him and Connie in finding the rest of his seashell community that used to live there, but was swept away after some kind of incident in the past.

Aside from the hilarity of having the Chiodo Bros (of Killers Klowns From Outer Space fame) deliver the top notch stop-motion animation for this utterly wholesome subject, it’s worth noting that – as other critics have pointed out – this movie does remind one of the japanese style of slice of life anime entertaiment, as it understands the appeal and finds the “magic” in everyday activity and routines, with the oddity here being these decorated seashells that are just alive, can talk, etc.

The plot it’s simple as expected, it does conclude properly and serves the needed purpose of tying together the various vignettes/situations the movie is composed of, but it’s not the strong suit, nor was it ever intended to be, that would be the amazing characterization, with Marcel being not just wide-eyed and charming, but also fairly relatable, quite chatty and surprisingly funny too.

Quite good one, that also cleverly keeps the runtime short for the better.