Tag: announcement

Open Letter to Dino-Santa

hello Santa, it’s me, again.

“Again” to a certain extent, i haven’t written a letter to Santa since decades, so i’ll be brief and quick, he has to bring coal to Darkseid each year, and i have this year’s 12 Days Of Dino Dicember starting tomorrow.

I have been a reasonable boy this year, so henceforth i ask the following petty and first world requests:

-a new, proper 2D run and gun Metal Slug videogame that isn’t a mobile gacha spin-off or remake tied to a mobile platform stuffed with microtransactions up to tank’s exhaust, i love turn based tactical strategy games and Metal Slug Tactics is looking mighty good, but it’s still not got even a vague release date and updates are still MIA, so yeah, the new SNK could actually employ a studio to develop a proper console/pc mainline Metal Slug game. It’s been a while, more than enough to create demand.

Otherwise, i would settle for an actual outside of arcades releases of Dolphin Blue.

-Please do not let the new One Piece anime remake/series redo by Wit Studio be using AI art to avoid paying people the meager anime industry salaries, i don’t care if Oda is fascinated, i just hope he grows out of it, alongside the rehabiliting of his colleagues and teachers that did not deserve such a thing, since we’re asking.

we can’t be perfect, but we can avoid falling for every cheap ass scam that goes around.

-Speaking of which, can we reroll this economic system to one where i can afford a house and can actually retire instead of dying on the job?

Also, a new Gundam Musou would be very welcome.

That will do.

Regards.

Future Shock: No Sleep From September (and Summer Plans) (UPDATED)

So, let’s not wait around more to lay out what’s coming in July and August for Wise Cafe International, and what will change from this September onwards.

July will have another round of killer croc AND killer sharks films, Sharks N Crocs Part Deux, alongside some timely videogame reviews to tie in with upcoming releases (aka – pardon me for the disgusting thing i’m about to say – trying to milk some “SEO juice” since this time i could plan ahead something reasonable).

August won’t have a One Piece retrospective per sè, but will have some One Piece videogames’ reviews, plus a newly written full lenght review of Film Red, and hopefully some fittingly summer themed posts about stuff that maritime or whatever.

From September instead – after thinking about it for months – i’ll have to slow down the posting significantly, so instead of a review or piece every 2 days, i opted for a weekly basis, since i will be taking a master’s degree this year, so yep, even less time on my hands since i will be hitting the books, attend and most likely still continue the dayjob.

So instead of shutting it down or opting for a “whenever i can” posting schedule, i feel this it’s a reasonable compromise, even more since i guarantee a review every 7 days, meaning there could be more if i can squeeze in some EXPRESSO reviews or something on the quick, i will try.

Meaning EXPRESSO won’t be retired, it never has been and that won’t change.

Continua a leggere “Future Shock: No Sleep From September (and Summer Plans) (UPDATED)”

Musou May and the State Of Musou as of May 2023?

As per what is now tradition, this year too we’ll have Musoy May, with a picked review of a musou/Warriors game every sunday of May.

Here’s where i usually make a general ramble about the state of the genre as of late, but…. there isn’t really much to say or even get unreasonably hyped about, as we neither got any new contender/challenger from some small or medium sized developer & publisher nor does TK really revealed, teased or announced anything.

Samurai Warriors 5 came out in 2021, but aside from a Season Pass TK didn’t either put out a XL or Empires version, Dynasty Warriors 9 Empires needed a lot of shit to be added or patched in, but again, aside a tepid Season Pass that wasn’t really worth paying (for the most part), there was no post-launch support, and since how barebones the modes on offering were… it would have needed.

Touken Ranbu Warriors was also released, but for whatever reason TK decided to launch it digital only on both Switch and PC (via Steam), and i’m gonna save the lamentations about that for its review.

Fire Emblem Warriors Three Hopes was almost perfect but was curiously devoid of expansion content (which is fine since it’s an already massive offering to begin with), so that’s odd.

All we got since June 2022 was simply a teaser trailer for Fate Samurai/Remnant that should release sometime this year, no actual gameplay footage or any real info aside from what could be seen in that short teaser trailer. Surprised it took them this long and actually Marvelous already did developed 2 Fate musou games, but still, it has been months devoid of any news about it or anything else Warriors or Warriors related.

Maybe TK is holding out for what was “E3 time” or for the TGS to drop the existence of Dynasty Warriors 10 (which they teased in interviews before), but at this point there’s just nothing to talk about of substance, and this behaviour kinda speaks volume for how Koei considers his musou output.

I mean, when the best news is them re-releasing WO3 Ultimate in a definitive edition package…. you can tell there’s a drought and no signs of the main gardener being interested in watering the cacti.

I mean, unless they do a 180 ° with Dynasty Warriors 10, Koei shouldn’t complain of losing even more customers, after DW 9 they deserve every critique and negativity coming their way.

Pokemon Scarlet/Violet is broken again, so its’ DLC review might arrive quite late

(the scheduled review for Giant Monster March will arrive tomorrow due to complications)

Wanted to post this earlier, but whatever, we’re doing it now, because i was planning to review the DLC of the latest Pokemon mainline games, i did so for the latest ialian blog, but… Pokemon Sword/Shield wasn’t held together with shit and sticks, say what you will but it wasn’t.

But sadly Pokemon Scarlet/Violet really IS “Pokèpunk 2077”, as after they announced the 2-part expansion for the game… it turned out the more recent patch actually made thing worse, including a bug that potentially could wipe or corrupt saves, low chances but not THAT low given the install base, so bad it had Game Freak say it would be better to just “import” your squad and whatnot to Pokemon Home before the worse happens.

Which means i haven’t touched the game after i played and reviewed it at launch, and i plan to keep it that way, hoping that the next patch will be proven to have fixed any chance of that shit happening, i’m not risking it.

And sure as shit i’m NOT pre-ordering the Expansion Pass, NOT when they should have delayed it as a project to work AFTER they at least addressed some of the many bugs, glitches and MANY technical issues (some of which were improved upon…. by reducing the already laughable amount of NPCs on screen at once).

But because this is Pokemon and Scarlet/Violet sold like gangbusters, fuck you, we’re going ahead with the DLC plans (takes me back to the same shit happening with the buggy ass Batman Arkham Origins situation), as in one expansion split in two parts and with a matsuri/japanese festival theme… one they’re also charging 10 bucks more than the Expansion Pass for the previous games, all made worse when the teased new Pokemon feel like “rejigged Yokai Watch designs”, and a one legged Suicine.

So don’t expect a timely review of the first part of the DLC, maybe one of the expansion on the whole when it has been released all, depends all on how much it takes for Game Freak to unfuck this specific bug and hopefully NOT reintroduce in a later patch, who can really say what will happen?

Maybe they will fix the issue by the time the first DLC rolls out, and in that case i will review it

Review of Pokemon Scarlet/Violet delayed by a couple of days + the “Dino Dicember” priority rule

So yeah, it took me more time to get around and finish the game, so i need to finalize the review, revise it and shit, so it will be posted on the 23th, instead of… today.

I considered postponing it even further, like next year, but since the 12 Days Of Dino Dicember are a-coming again and i’m not skipping on them, i’m not going to.

Oh, also, because of that some planned reviews of movies that coincidentally release in the same period here (like The Fablemans) will come out in January after the “dino stuff”.

That’s it, that the post.

Bye!

Musou May + an updated rant on Tecmo Koei’s horrible monetization practices

While i would have loved to splooge and do a full fledged Warriors retrospective, i simply can’t at the moment due to time lacking for such an endeavour, so we’ll have a musou game review each Sunday in May, starting from the 8th, which will alter the bi-daily posting routine we entered since February a little.

I wish i could do more, but i already know will not be able to get, play and review the upcoming Touken Ranbu Warriors before May itself ends, for one (as to why, basically because they are going with a digital only release in European territories, more below=. Though i can update my previous rants on Tecmo Koei’s monetization practices and content culling, as the Switch eShop page for that game went up recently and showed us that Tecmo Koei’s will simply NOT stop inventing new ways to “nickle and dime” hundreds of moolah from you for very little effort.

Continua a leggere “Musou May + an updated rant on Tecmo Koei’s horrible monetization practices”

This Summer: One Piece Films Retrospective

In love with this design, holy shit!

As you might now, the new One Piece film, titled One Piece Film: Red, was announced in November 2012 set for a summer 2022 release. Which isn’t really “new” as from One Piece Film Gold in 2016 Toei makes a new movie every 3 years, but i’m finally ready to review all One Piece films… again.

As in – like i previosly told – i previously reviewed them to accompany the release of One Piece Stampede back in 2019 on the original italian version of the blog, so in the previous years i’ve reviewed the One Piece OVAs and the TV Specials, as i wanted to make some time pass, as i’m rewatching them all and writing the reviews from scratch, instead of translating, reworking, polishing the old ones.

Who knows, in time i might have changed my opinions on some…. and i mean “some”, there’s one in particular than i might have even harsher words for, but we’ll see.

Upcoming Attractions: Sharks und Pirates

(Source) https://danbooru.donmai.us/posts/4273516?q=sharknado+

(no, a Girls Und Panzer retrospective isn’t afoot… YET)

Just a quick overview of what’s coming for the rest of the summer on the blog.

July will be Shark Month. Usually it is anyway, but this year i actually have managed to pile up enough material (despite everything), so there will be a shark movie review out each day, and maybe some EXPRESSO ones too, depending on when i can get to some releases in theathers.

August will yet again be a One Piece retrospective…. of the TV specials.

Last summer we did go over the featurettes, and it’s still too early for me to properly re-assess all the One Piece movies. Like i said before, i’d prefer some more time to pass,, in order to avoid some lazy rewrite-recycle of the old reviews i made in italian years ago.

Also, i’m gonna take a break from the 15th of August (included) until the 1st of September.

This doesn’t mean i will stop posting at all, since EXPRESSO reviews will be made and published, but any time consuming form of review or retrospective will go on hiatus.

That’s about it, so look forward to another summer of sharks and anime pirates!

Soon Back To The Theathers

So, in a matter of weeks most cinemas in Italy plan to re-open for real (even more since they already planned summer releases for movies like A Quiet Place Part II), which gives me great joy, and also means i’ll eventually cover more recent releases after watching them in theathers, instead of waiting for months to dribble on some streaming services here in Italy, if at all.

I still have a shark month (and something else One Piece related) planned, i enjoy reviewing b-movies, shlock, etc, but i also like to cover the recent releases, you know?

So, fingers crossed i don’t have to write another post where i say i will not be able to cover theathrical releases (as soon as they get here) because of another lockdown.