New Pinocchi-O-Rama review delayed to tomorrow

Due to unforeseen issues, i won’t be able to have the review out by today, so check in tomorrow for this month’s Pinocchiorama entry.

One Piece Pirate Warriors 4: DLC Pack 4 PS4 [REVIEW]

Here we are with the first round of the new character DLC packs for Pirate Warriors 4, as heavily promised before.

The 4^th Character Pack is titled “Battle Of Onigashima”, and it features 2 “Onigashima variants/versions” of characters already available in the base game, with Battle Of Onigashima Luffy, Battle of Onigashima Kaido, and more interestingly, Yamato, the offspring of Kaido that has proclaimed to carry on the will of the late Oden in a very direct manner.

As for why now, well, it’s not real surprise that the Pirate Warriors games’ storyline are also made in a way to avoid accidental spoilers for the One Piece anime audience, so yeah, it makes sense they had to wait until the Gear 5 episode to introduce this powered up version of Luffy, after all that’s the reason Pirate Warriors 4 has an original story for the Land Of Wa arc, and Pirate Warriors 3 invented a new scenario for the Dressarosa stages as well.

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[EXPRESSO] The Nun II/2 (2023) | Valak Has Somehow Returned

No joke intro or sequel title mockery, The Nun 2 doesn’t need nor deserve it.

Really, one for the textbooks in terms of obvious franchise milking that exists only because of money, which is always the case, but while you’re hooking the demon nun to the device, you might as well crank out a better movie, try to pretend you care at the very least.

In reality, we get a sequel to another mediocre spin-off of the Conjuring films, one that really wasn’t needed nor adds anything of value to the overall mythos. Valak is back due to the magic of asspull writing, so we learn that she copied notes from Soul Eater’s Medusa, so it actually survived by possessing a guy working as a janitor in a French all girls catholic school, because is searching for (check notes) a holy artifact, maybe because Valak was a fallen angel, or something, the lore dispenser guy-christian librarian-priest is most likely making this shit up on the fly.

To stop it the Vatican hires back half the team from the first movie, because the priest guy conveniently died of colera offscreen in the meantime (the actor most likely is fine), so it’s up to the young nun and her sassy black nun friend to find and stop Valak once and for all… in a stupid fashion.

In a way, it’s intriguing how at least this one also manages to not be completely tosh thanks to some scenes (the baphomet does give it points), decent casting and budget… just meaning it’s another pile of strikingly efficient mediocre, despite being a pointless, unrequired cobbled together mass of horror styrofoam that’s also borderline boring and struggles to justify its own existence as a sequel.

Kinda amazing how many shades of monstrous mediocrity can actually exist.

Pikmin 4 NSWITCH [REVIEW] | Enter The Dogbus

10 years after the last mainline game, the beloved Nintendo series about floral strategy and cutesy war PTSD is back with Pikmin 4 for Nintendo Switch, and i was even more eager to get my mittens on it after replaying for review & funsies Pikmin 3 in its Deluxe edition-port on Switch.

Who am i kidding, after devouring the demo, i was ravenous to get into the full game ASAP.

Story is fairly typical Pikmin, as in, you know the deal by now: people keep crashlanding on this damn planet. And by people i mean poor Olimar, that crashlanded on the planet, sent out a SOS call, but then the rescue team itself had troubles with the ship, so its up to you, as the new recruit of the Rescue Corps (an intergalactic rescue organization) and one of its few “non-scattered around” remaining members to get the whole crew back together, then find and save Olimar, whom also sent them various pages of its journal.

Someone seem confused in terms of when it happens, even confusing it for a reboot/remake of the first game’s story (i guess since Olimar here too used Pikmins to get back the scattered pieces of its rundown but beloved ship, the Dolphin)… dunno why, but yep, since Olimar and Louie are involved too, and we get the new group of cute potato aliens also discuss of Koppai, the planet from where the expedition group of Pikmin 3 came from to avoid famine, heck, even an inhabitant from that planet later becomes an important plot point.

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[EXPRESSO] Lonely Castle In The Mirror (2022) | Castle Club

The more recent movie from Keichii Hara (Colorful, Miss Hokusai, Summer Days With Coo, various Crayon Shin Chan movies), finally getting a limited theatherical release here.

The premise see a shy outcast girl, Kokoro, that one days sees the mirror in her room glow, only to be magically drawn into a fantasy castle, where other six teens like her where also invited. A mysterious girl in a wolf mask tells them that if they find the key hidden in the castle, one can get its greatest wish granted.

Though, anyone that breaks the rules of the castle will get eaten by a wolf.

Lonely Castle In The Mirror is what i would describe as an incredibly, slow, SLOW burner that hinges on the third act twist and the revelations it holds to make it all worthwhile, and actually DOES fixes issues you’ve might had, as initially less interesting or banal elements of the plot gain new meaning, and characters actually becoming complete as we learn their whole story and their role in the “grand scheme”.

Animation aside, which is fine but also kinda unremarkable, especially for a feature lenght.

Also, while the ending is fairly powerful and the third act elevates the movie, it doesn’t fix the fact you still have to sit though some mild teen anime school melodrama about characters that feel relatable but not really interesting, wondering why even have fantasy elements at all, and having to contend with what – initially- feels like a direction-less stroll.

Even with these flaws, the ending serves perfectly the exploration of themes such as teen isolation, bullying, escapism and trauma, makes all plot threads and character arc collide and complete, and does pack quite the emotional – and througly earned – punch.

Definitely worth a watch, at the very least.

Pirate Warriors 4 and the sudden DLC deluge (extended bitchin’ edition) (UPDATED)

So, after i discussed Namco Bandai announcing a new Character Pass of 9 playable characters to be added as paid DLC over time, we now know the first DLC pack of characters (aptly titled The Battle Of Onigashima) will include Gear 5 Luffy, Kaido in his hybrid humanoid dragon form, and Yamato.

Which is a bit iffy since 2 of the 3 characters are just variants of previously existing characters that most likely won’t have a completely different moveset, but no, i didn’t write this article just to bitch more about Tecmo Koei and Namco Bandai DLC practices, even though i never get tired of it and it’s always right, especially when talking Tecmo Koei DLC bullshit.

Aside from this info and a glimpse of how Yamato will play, the trailer also included the announcement of a different DLC pack split into 3 parts meant to release piece-meal over time as well, called the Additional Episode pack, as in new actual content to play through, with the first one we know being about Yamato travelling through various stages (including Big Mom’s kingdom, as the first and only image – included below and taken from Gematsu article about the news- about the episode shows), and this one will also include a new power up map to learn new skills, increase stats and skill levels even further, and shit like that.

I feel like a stepped on a monkey’s paw, because YES, finally, new meat for the meat god, actually new episodes/missions/stages to play, BUT it’s paid DLC yet again, for a game that – as good as it is, and it’s a very good Warriors title – could have used some actual longtime support and some free content via update, like they did with Hyrule Warriors, even the base release on Wii U, especially due to its decision to cover less of the story arcs and hence do less unique maps/level.

I don’t need TK to also join the fuckin bandwagon and make “work in progress free to play but 60 bucks to enter” games that change over time, but you know, some support and little things or a clearer declaration of how/when the game will have new content arrived to it would have been better.

Honestly, i’d prefer they actually did a proper Xtreme Legends style expansion pak, but they make more money like this, so they won’t.

As previously said, i will be reviewing the new DLC Character Packs as they are released, with the Battle For Onigashima one still having a generic “September 2023” release window despite the fact we’re almost half-way through the frigging month,while the Additional Episodes Packs have a TBA release date as of now, but yes, i guess i’ll review them as well, why not at this point?

POST SCRIPTUM: Both the Battle Of Onigashima DLC Pack and the first Episode Pack (or whatever they’re gonna call it) of the Additional Episodes Pack will be available from the 14th of September (source: Gematsu)

That’s on me for not checking again before publication, i will take the blame for that because i really should have checked, and i do apologize for this.

[EXPRESSO] Gamera: Rebirth (2023) | Stand By My Gamera

Lil G is back after 15 years of official silence… and it’s a Netflix animated series by the co-director of the Godzilla anime film trilogy, with similar 3D CG animation, despite being handled by ENGI (Kemono Michi, Uzaki-chan Wants To Hang Out) and not Polygon Pictures.

We’re not starting on the right foot, but it’s not like Gamera fans can be picky, this is the first official anything since 2006’s Gamera The Brave, though the premise gave me ‘Nam flashbacks of Gamera Super Monster, since it has my boy face off against 5 old foes, including his arch nemesis Gyaos, over the course of 40 minutes long 6 episodes.

The series is set in the summer of 1989′ Japan, with a group of young boys (six-graders) that have their savings stolen by a bully nicknamed “Brody”, the son of an American army commander, confront him, then a giant monster, Gyaos, attacks Tokyo, but the children are saved by another giant monster, dubbed Gamera.

It’s basically a kaiju gauntlet of sorts, with the human side of the story feeling very Stand By Me-ish but also fitting in theme of Gamera being linked to children, proposing a reinvention of the character and franchise that mixes elements from the old Showa era films with the beloved Heisei trilogy, meaning it’s not actually intended for kids at all, as the plot unfolds more in the ways of conspiracies and dark secrets.

And both the plot and characters are surprisingly compelling, making for a good series in spite of studio ENGI trying to emulate Godzilla Singularity Point’s animation as well… but with lesser results of awkard, stiff looking animated 3D CG humans, when the monsters do look good, sport some great redesigns, and their fights – even if often brief – are indeed quite good.

One Piece (Netflix’s) (2023) [REVIEW] | You’re My Treasure Box

It’s time.

I’ve been meaning to talk about this thing since we saw the first trailer (ok, let’s be honest, the announcement of this being greenlit), but i mostly held off because i didn’t want to speculate much but just actually watch the show and then judge it accordingly to what it actually is and NOT what it might or might not turn out to be, as much pontificating on widely distributed promotional material is the bread and butter of this job here, especially when you have to appease the “content God”.

And since we’re being more upfront than usual, yes, i was preparing me own buckets of tar and feathers, even as the trailers close to release did make one wonder if maybe this time we don’t have a huge manga-to-live action stinker, i mean, it comes from the same production studio that gave us the rightfully despised Cowboy Bebop live action shitwreck, let us not forget that.

The trust was not there, at least not for me, despite Oda being vocally supportive and letting it more than know this was not just a random gig he lazily supervised in terms of actual involvement, but that he indeed wanted this to happen for a long time and was excited about this thing, he really wanted for it to work.

I mean, after Franky’s timeskip design…and him helping rehabilitating colleagues (let alone his sensei Nobuhiro “Maybe A CP Ringmaster” Watsuki) of his that in a better world would not have returned with a new serialization on Jump.

Leaving THAT hornets’ nest aside, he was never gonna advocate against it, or something stupid like that, but i did question why he was so hyped about something everyone almost immediatly catalogued as a write-off thing that they’d bring up years later as a “that was weird” kind of story.

So at the very end of August the One Piece live action Netflix series was made available on the plaftorm, composed of eight 45 to 60 minutes long episodes composing the first season, which covers from the very beginning at Shells Town (with Foosha Village visited via flashbacks of young Luffy with Shanks and his crew) up to the conclusion of the Arlong Park arc.

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Interdit Aux Chiens Et Aux Italiens (No Dogs Or Italians Allowed) AKA Manodopera (2022) | Piedmotion Animation

A french-italian stopmotion animation, already a white fly, and for less than 4 bucks due a nationwide italian & european cinema initiative? Say no more, i’m so gonna see this, even more as it won a prize at Annecy 2022’s edition.

This is basically the director, Alain Ughetto, tracing back his italian ancenstry, depicting the lives of his grandfather and family of farmers that back in early 1900’s moved from their small mountain village in Piedmont (dubbed affectionally as “Ughetterra”, the land of the Ughettos), crossing the Alps to start a new life in France, in search of any menial or dangerous labor that they could do, their eventual rise to small land-owners, and their nomad lifestyle due to labor but also – among other things – the rise of the Fascism in Italy.

This is told in an amusing and wholesomw fashion, that not so much breaks the fourth wall but use it as a “portal” tool to deliver the narrative, as the director-animator narrates and creates the stopmotion sets, its characters, directly interacts with them (like letting his hand into frame to hand a character a tiny hammer), but frames it as a dialog with his grandmother that recounts the chronicles of the family through the decades, encompassing many heavy subjects as wars, epidemics, racism, clerical hypocrisy, but also the joyful moments (and some fun meta gags).

It’s a really intimate, charming and emotional portrait of turn of the centhury italian immigrants bound to a rough life of difficulties, of split loyalties and fractured national identities due to family always living – often literally – on the borders, malincholic but also fond of having a few laughs and exactly as long as it needs to be, even if that means on the shorter side of things.

Warmly recommended.

Girls Nite Out AKA The Scaremaker (1982) [REVIEW] | Bear Claws In

Would it really be September here without a school themed slasher from the 80s that has been mostly forgotten? Yep, there were so many of these that the “content vein” seems to never end, there’s always more slasher to pick and revaluate, here thanks to the UK (and also US) release on Blu-Ray by Arrow Video, who else?

I’m NOT gonna review the Blu-Ray itself and the many extra contents (especially if you managed to get your hands on the Limited Edition with the extra slipcase with the poster art of the movie under its alternative release date “The Scaremaker”), but i will say the 2K restoration it’s hella good.

I said school, but in this case we have a sorority group of college girls that are killed one by one by a degenerate in a bear costume (the college’ sport mascot) during a night-long scavenger hunt taking place on campus, with the story of a former student – called Dickie Canavaugh– that was recovered in a sanitarium and speculations on why he hanged himself.

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