[EXPRESSO] No Other Choice (2025) | Canis Canem Edit

After Decision To Leave, Park Chan-Wook is back with a satirical black comedy, No Other Choice.

Based on the novel The Ax By Donald Westlake, the film sees Man-su, a paper industry expert with a 25 years sterling career, paper being his profession but also providing for his family wealth and being part of his identity…. being laid off without notice.

As his life falls apart and the sudden firing theathens to kill off not only his hobby greenhouse, but his family’s passions, even their future career (with the daughter being a budding violin master to be), as they have to even send away their two dogs to make due, Man-su decides to start killing off his competition in the hope he well get his job in the industry back and maintain his way of life.

Man-su also isn’t particularly cut off to be a killer, but is desperate enough to try and do anything it takes, which often involves being caught in odd or embarassing situations, or worse, being very understanding of other fellows in the paper industry biz it’s trying to kill as he’s got (like many characters say in the film itself) “no other choice”.

As expected of Park Chan-Wook, it’s a very brutal, humane yet relentless film, this time picturing a normal man who is chewed up and then spat out by the corporation that gave him a fairly wealthy lifestyle, and then takes extreme measures as his status quo falls apart, ready to do anything to win the corpo rat race, feeling more than pressured to be what he wants and wants other to think he is, as comformity and optics are king.

Very clever and also pretty damn funny, honestly might be one of Park Chan Wook’ bests, maybe even a masterpiece, it’s excellent.

12 Days Of Dino December # 55: The Invisible Raptor (2023)

Sadly i learned of this midway through doing last year’s batch of reviews for 12 Days Of Dino Dicember, so i wasn’t able to cover it back then, but we’re fixing that right now.

The idea is both cute and obvious as hell: a dinosaur film without the dinosaur.

More correctly, the dinosaur is there, it’s a velociraptor, but due to “science” it was made super smart AND invisible, escaping from the lab and going on a rampage, leaving it up to a disgraced paleonthologist (reduced to mascot costume shenanigans at a dino themed amusement park) to save the day from the invisible menace.

I don’t need to, but i will point out that this so obviously feels like them stumbling into a somewhat genius solution when they couldn’t afford the dinosaur in their dinosaur film.

The film knows everyone would have sussed that out immediatly, so it plays as a horror-black comedy that’s basically a spoof of all things Spielberg… well, mostly a flood of references mushed in together, with protagonist being Dr. Grant Walker, an appropriately named fusion of Indiana Jones with Dr. Grant and i suppose Chuck Norris’ character from Walker Texas Ranger, maybe?) as he teams up with an hapless security guard in trying to stop the invisible dinosaur, while everyone obviously doesn’t believe his story until it’s too late, Jaws style.

Continua a leggere

[EXPRESSO] The Running Man (2025) | Twitch Rage

In this era of remakes and reboot, this is one that makes some sense, especially since the older film adaptation of the Stephen King novel (originally published under the “ Richard Bachman” pseudonym) was a fun 80s slice of “Golden Age Schwarzenegger” beefcake action, more heady than the actor usual fare, but not much so, as its revels in being the very kind of thing its supposedly satirizes, with by the plot’s premise of a far future dystopia where a fascist state pacifies the masses via a reality tv bloodsport, The Running Man.

Here indesiderables and anyone that doesn’t obey is labeled a criminal and terrorist, pitted against a gaggle of chasing units, with the task of surviving as long as they can, while there is a “snitches get riches” for civilians reporting – or killing yo’ ass, with a billion dollars prize money for “runner” surviving against all odds and hunting units sent after them, all live on national television.

This version has the protagonist being an enraged father that has been blacklisted from most workplaces for trying to have justice and unionization, signing up for the Running Man show so he can rack up money needed to cure his daughter, and maybe even give his family a better life outside the slums.

It’s a more faithful adaptation of the story, and honestly it’s just a far better film, actually timely in this moment where the dystopian sci-fi futures are pretty much undistinguishable from reality, flying cars aside, with what were once charicatures being plausible, while still delivering lots of bombastic blockbuster action, stylish use of “oldies” for the soundtrack and embodiying the current – and apt- sentiment of “fuck you all, let it burn”, with an ending that might feel like a cop out but isn’t necessarily such.

[EXPRESSO] The Ugly Stepsister (2025) | Body Horrorella ( 🎶rella rella rella 🎶)

So we’re doing a horror version of Cinderella, and it’s not a Jagged Edge Productions joint?

Color me surprised, it’s an actual film with real budgets, a Norwegian produced retelling of the Cinderella fable in a more twisted fashion, with the widow Rebekka marrying an old nobleman that almost immediatly dies, meaning her daughters Elvira and Alma are joined by their new step-sister, Agnes, a stark contrast to Elvira, who’s considered fat and ugly but is groomed (as is prepped) by her mother to undergo grueling surgery and training to become beautiful, in order to marry into royalty, especially the prince, whom Elvira pines for.

It’s a satirical black comedy take on the fairytale (also taking some of the more graphic ideas from the Grimm’s version) that’s also heavy on body horror, because The Substance made that a trend again…. and surprisingly a lot of straight up gross out graphic content, both played for humour as well as simple shock value.

If you expected a more psychological horror affair this ain’t it, The Ugly Stepsister will see horror films that have subtlety and nail their hypothetical balls to the walls, and put salt maggots on the opened sack, as it revels in its bluntness and its “period piece” with faux classical styled version of modern pop songs in the background.

It is funny, the main conflict between Elvira and Agnes is compelling as neither is depicted as an actual “evil” figure, as their pushed into it by societal standards, but on this regard, anything else that isn’t about them (well, mostly Elvira) feels underdeveloped or lost in its own stylistical pot-pourry, like how the satyrical, modern feminist take on the fable almost ends up reafferming the very values its so obviously wants to mock.

Still quite entertaining and decently realized.

The Spooktacular Eight # 30: Zombie Ass: Toilet Of The Dead (2012)

Can’t believe we’re finally doing this, but after post-poning it for years and basically featuring every other Noburo Iguchi film, it’s time to go deeper into the septic tank with one of the lesser known films from the well known (among the expected circles) gonzo gorefest-pink film-tokusatsu extraordinarie director, his Zombie Ass: Toilet Of The Dead.

What a fuckin title. Can’t say you didn’t know what it was about when you walked in.

I would love to play the “what has this blog gone to?” bit more but i was this close to feature Monsturd in a previous Spooktacular Eight, but didn’t, not yet, hope this literal zombie shit fest will do as i also consider it kinda the “cut off” film for Iguchi, even though he didn’t actually stop making films like these, heck, the same year as Zombie Ass he also directed the aptly titled segment “Fart” for ABCs Of Death, and his last movie is 2023’s romance anthology Tales Of Bliss And Heresy.

So while his career didn’t die, i guess the foreign fan and specialized press interest around japanese horror gorefest with ludicrous premises, excessive displays and absurd special effects kinda petered out around that time, and i would assume this would be the case in Japan too, though that didn’t stop other directors to put out similar stuff like Bloody Delinquent Chainsaw Girls live action adaptation (which i didn’t know got two sequels in 2019, taking notes).

Enough foreplay, what is Zombie Ass: Toilet Of The Dead about?

Continua a leggere

[EXPRESSO] Bugonia (2025) | The Andromeda Strange

Is with extreme apprehension i approaced Lanthimos’ newest film, Bugonia, since i was kinda let down by Kinds Of Kindness and appearantly i’m on a streak of being beyond disappointed.

A sci-fi comedy-thriller with once again Emma Stone and Jesse Piemons in the leading roles, as is the current fancy of Lanthimos, Bugonia (an english language remake of the Korean 2003 movie Save The Green Planet!) is about a couple of conspiracy theorists that decide is time to get off the keyboard and do “something about it”.

In this case it means kidnapping the very influential CEO of a big pharmaceautical company, as they believe she’s an alien bent on destroying planet Earth.

It is a Lanthimos movie alright.

One that does a lot despite most of the events relegated to the house the conspiracy crazies hold the “alien” hostage, as they want to try and negotiate a deal quickly, believing it’s just a matter of days before the alien mothership will go away.

It’s Lanthimos take on the world burning down and how mankind really had it coming, with the expected themes class warfare, of corporate poisoning and social “divide and conquer” tactics, and while i’m not surprise by a Lanthimos movie being morally ambiguous (water is wet, after all), in this case it feels done more so the movie can put itself above these questions.

Curiously Eddington, for all its flaws, did commit better to its “both sides” satire, where Bugonia instead plays it a bit too safe but on the other hand it’s a better movie that remembers a comedy has to be funny.

It’s also strangely “tame” by Lanthimos’ standards, and not just in terms of visuals, which has the upside of working as a good “entry level” for his filmography, but leaves one kinda disappointed.

[EXPRESSO] Eddington (2025) | Divide Schmivide

Ari Aster doing a COVID-19 crime western comedy thing?

Sign me in!

Set during the 2020 pandemic, we see the local sheriff (played by Joaquin Phoenix) of the small town of of Eddington, New Mexico, get spiffy against the local mayor (played by Pedro Pascal) for the mask mandate, and it escalates to the sheriff deciding to run for mayor himself, sabotage his rival on social media, while the climate gets worse due to events such as the George Floyd’s murder, etc.

I will respect that Aster doesn’t give a shit about making movies that unearth a recent, hugely divisive period of reality people would rather move on from, and yes, this is a cornucopia of deliberately unlikeable characters, from Q-anon pilled conspiracy theorists in-laws, hypocritical liberal youths into activism as long as there’s some pussy to gain from it, cult leaders, grifters, etc.

Problem is, it’s an unfocused mess which satirizes everything but does so in such a shallow and frankly unsatisfying manner, regurgitating stuff we already know and are still living through, with barely a plot to hold onto, something to actually build to, or characters that actually have any depth, feeling even more cartoonishly stupid than they’re meant to, and somehow able to make actors like Pascal and Phoenix come off as bad, which is sadly impressive.

It’s more frustrating than anything else, as the actual jokes that work are too few and far between for an almost 3 hours long movie, and while it picks up a little midway through, it borders on being an completely boring, unfunny movie.

It all feels like an uncomfortable but also flavourless remasticated portrait of 2020 and today’s America; plus, while i did suggest it might take some time to revaluate Beau Is Afraid…. i’m not so sure about Eddington.

Platformation Time Again #5: Yooka Laylee PS4

HISTORY

I’ve played Banjo Kazooie to completition. Twice.

Both on the N64 and the XBLA release pre-Rare Replay.

I’m prefacing this because i definitely fit the profile, i am the target demographic for retro plaftormers like Yooka Laylee, as i love the original Banjo Kazooie, like its sequel and even enjoyed that oversprawling excess that is Donkey Kong 64, and i love 3D collecthathon platformers from the early days of PS and Nintendo 64, especially if made by Rareware/Rare.

Heck, i love them so much i made this rubric. Twice.

When it was announced on Kickstarter, i was excited at the idea of a spiritual sequel to Banjo Kazooie, made by a team of ex-Rare employees, and they also got Grant Kirkhope back for the soundtrack. But i didn’t back it because the idea of Kickstarter and crowdfunding was still new to me, so i just waited for the game to come out.

Which eventually did, to mixed reception.

In hindsight, Yooka Laylee does deserve a spotlight and a place in the history of platforming games, but not for the reasons Playtonic might have liked.

To give some of the younger readers context, back then we were excited because Kickstarter projects would swoop in and serve a specific “niche” of games the big companies simply didn’t made anymore, as in they were chasing the more modern gaming trends of their time.

One of these “underserved niches” was definitely collecthaton platformer in the style of the late 90s and of the 3D kind, as 2D style retro platformer were already starting to get made for the audience that craved them, and aside from Nintendo franchises, 3D platformers as a whole were old hat, left behind by most of the industry as it hurled ever more into F2P monetization and “services”.

Continua a leggere

[EXPRESSO] HIM (2025) | They Forgot That I Am

If Opus cemented my belief the “eat the rich”-”social horror” strain of horror has been overdone to death … HIM is just further, further proof.

To be fair, it’s not that the idea of a horror movie set in the “american football/rugby” biz about its status of unofficial national religion is bad in itself.

The concept has potential, but the movie doesn’t explore anything, and i mentioned Opus, because it’s basically the same plot, just substitute the music biz and the “Not-Jamestown” commune led by old popstar with a brutalist football dungeon governated by an aging, nearly retired legendary NFL quarterback, Isaiah White giving a second chance to Cameron “Cam” Cade, an aspiring quarterback suffering from head trauma that could jeopardize its entire career, so Cam accepts do to a special training in the isolated facility led by Isaiah….

Like Opus, the entire thing is thinly held together by its lead actor performance, in this case Marlon Wayans playing Isaiah… or would, despite Wayans’ great performance this time i feel it’s not enough to suffice, especially with his character mostly devoid of a personality, and the entire thing being too obvious, downright spelt out as the movie it’s too afraid you won’t get some of the more obvious symbolism ever displayed, all the themes sanded down to be as broad and generic as possible, meaning nothing as the movie confuses parroting an arthouse modern “social horror” aesthetic for actual substance, since it has none, it’s all “pigskin deep”, talking about “no pain no gain” on and on yet unable to actually commit to its ideas.

While aware of its inherent silliness, it doesn’t know how to use that to enhance the horror, so it just amounts to a big ball of stupid, of well produced imagery that ultimately means nothing.

[EXPRESSO] One Battle After Another (2025) | Leonardo D. Caprio

While i would have been happy with Licorice Pizza being the last film of Paul Thomas Anderson… wait he did say he wasn’t planning to “do a Tarantino”, and even if he did it would have been hard to believe, as his new film, One Battle After Another, demonstrates.

Which is already a surprise as its not set in some past but in modern days… after starting in the 1980s by showing the freedom fighters-vigilantes calling themselves “The French 75” freeing a group of migrants, one of the being “Ghetto Pat” (DiCaprio) who’s trying to prove his worth to the crew with his explosive expertise, and gets together with the crew’s leader, “Perfidia Beverly Hills” (Teyana Taylor), whom in the operation holds hostage the camp’s commander, Sgt. Lockjaw (Sean Penn).

Later Perfidia and Pat do have a daughter, but Perfidia storms out and goes missing.

16 years later, Pat, now known as “Bob Ferguson”, is forced back into the revolutionary stuff as Lockjaw is back searching for him and his daughter with a PMC worth of forces, so “Bob” has to try and contact the “old band” to save his skin and his daughter… despite being so out of the loop, beyond “rusty”, as he forced to confront his past despite not being cut out for it, at all.

I mean, he’s manic, paranoid, and looks like The Dude if he was more of a mess in every regard, being so out of place, desperate and oddly – but fittingly – tangential in this humour crime comedy drama that is actually able to transition with effect from comedy delirium (there’s a cabal of Santa worshipping hyper racists in it, for once) and the grim, depressing reality of how the injustices keep repeating for the future generations.

A must see film.