The Ninja Squad (1986) [REVIEW] | Filipino Ninjas

While Ninja November sadly will not happen, it’s sunday, so time for a rewrite-revision on one of Godfrey Ho’ “ninja classics”, The Ninja Squad, because i really don’t think you need more reviews on Ninja Terminator and Golden Ninja Warrior.

At least not when doing a “simple” rewrite, i guess we’ll have to get to them eventually.

This time we have caucasian ninjas footage bolted onto a 1984 filipino movie called “ Hatulan si baby angustia”, directed by Rey Malonzo, which according to IMDB also directed two other movies that also served as “bases” for other Ho ninja flicks. Fate can be quite cruel, indeed.

Continua a leggere

[EXPRESSO] Eternals (2021) | Creators – The Past USA

I’m tired. The fatigue is back, and we have barely started with “Phase 4”.

Maybe it was inevitable, but we’re without a doubt at the point where the benefits of having this MCU thing in place don’t properly outweight the drawbacks, more a creative cage than anything.

And i will say this: at least Shang-Chi had a story with a conclusion, this one leans too much into being more of a set up to a sequel than its own thing.

This time we have the titular Eternals, basically immortal alien gods that came to Earth 7000 years ago but conveniently were told not to interfere with any conflicts that didn’t involve the “Deviants”, the Eternals’ evil – and of course – monstrous looking ancenstral counterparts.

And through social media we learned of a certain spoiler, one that sounded like a fake pre-emptive shitpost to create buzz for a Marvel license most people didn’t really knew well. It wasn’t.

Chloe Zhao of Nomadland fame directs and writes, the cast its great, the usual Marvel tiny concessions to appear diverse and inclusive more than they actually are… there as usual, same for the various issues stemming from the assembly line formula that this one tries a bit to shake off.

The big problem is the characters, as they don’t have any chemistry, despite being built as a “family” ensemble that have known each other for literally thousands of years… they seem to have just met on the set, with some top billed actors sleepwalking it big time, not helped by the unfocused narration, huge exposition loads, and the script just kinda assuming i know and already care about these characters that are kinda obscure for most viewers. Me included.

Overall, Eternals it’s alright, at least better and more interesting than Shang Chi.

Hyrule Warriors: Age Of Calamity – Expansion Pass PART 2 [REVIEW]

The final piece of Age Of Calamity DLC is here, and as usual i’m giddy at the prospect of more good musou content, as a remainder Omega Force can actually deliver when it cares (or when it feels it has to).

And this second (and final) piece of the game’s Expansion/Season Pass was easily the more appetizing to look forward, as it would add brand new story stages, alongside new abilities for existing characters, and new playable characters.

Regarding the latter, it was later revealed we would be getting Pruna and Rovely as a two-in-one playable warrior, and another one not revealed, nor hinted at in any way.

Continua a leggere

[EXPRESSO] Army Of Thieves (2021) | Nibelungenlied

I’m not gonna question if someone was actually looking forward to this Army Of The Dead prequel, because that one got a divisive reception, and there’s always something that appeals to someone.

Not that the very idea of a prequel to Army Of The Dead is bad, so let’s go over the plot.

Army Of Thieves (directed by Matthias Schweighöfer) takes place 6 years before the event of Army Of The Dead, and it focuses on the character of “Dieter”, the safe cracker extraordinarie, who starts by making Youtube videos on the subject…. and get no online attention, until it’s invited to an underground safecracking tournament by a mysterious commenter.

The mysterious figure turns out to be Gwendolyne, a jewel thief that eyed him for his crew in order to make an incredible triple heist by cracking the first three safes done by legendary locksmith Wagner, all named after the major musical dramas of his homonymous composer.

This is not a bad movie, at all, it’s quite entertaining, the acting it’s good, the action it’s funthere’s some flair and wit to the script, Dieter it’s a lovable nerdy twink, and surprinsigly the other characters are quite likable… but it’s another heist movie, the rom-com bits are the weakest parts and you definitely feel its 2 hours runtime.

It’s a fun heist movie, though, and also one of those “detachable” prequels that can be enjoyed on its own… since it’s barely connected to Army Of The Dead, by design, and honestly i kinda enjoyed this more, it grew on me despite not really being enamored with the idea, i guess since Army Of Thieves it’s more focused on what it wants without trying to juggle 3 movies at once.

Arguably longer than needed and not “perfect”, but a fun watch nonetheless.

The Initial STEAM [REVIEW] | School Swords Gals Fight

Have been meaning to get around this one for a while, so much i eventually got a PC to run most games decently, in the meantime. As in, 3 years ago.

So, do you like games like Oneechanbara and Senran Kagura, are you into the niche of “anime ladies fighting with scanty clothes and swords”? Want more of them?

The Initial is borne of that mentality, and comes from a niche indeed, a chinese 5 people team called Restory Studio, who clearly know their audience, so much that one of the first paragraphs on the Steam store page says “THE INITIAL is a hyper action game about pretty schoolgirls battling against evil.”, which is a very apt and synthetic description.

Because you already know if you’re in or out after that.

You know where i stand on the matter.

Continua a leggere

[EXPRESSO] Freaks Out (2021) | Freaks VS Nazis

I usually don’t feature italian movies here for fairly logical or obvious reason, but this is quite “the something”, as in it’s one of those batshit weird movies we’re still capable of putting out, like 2019’s Creators – The Past, but this has already quite the hook for italian viewers, as its from Gabriele Mainetti, the director of an italian superhero thriller called They Called Him Jeeg Robot, that yes, dips from the well of old mecha anime for its monicker and theme.

Not that it needed that to stand out, as this is about a group of circus freaks with various quirks (not quite that kind) and abilities that have become a dysfunctional family of sorts after they started living and working in Israel’s cirucs. But as this is set in 1943 Rome, as an explosion destroys the circus, so they find themselves without a home-refuge, thrown into the horrors WW II.

And yes, this means they’ll have to face the Nazis, as the ringmaster of the Berlin Zircus it’s looking for people with special abilities in order to weaponize them for the Fuhrer.

Even more amazing, it’s not billed as a tongue-in-cheek romp, but as a drama, which isn’t that surprising considering the director and this being “foreign cinema” for most of you, and isn’t exactly wrong, since it a movie about the frigging Holocaust, drama is important and has quite the punch, perfectly balanced with the superhero movie elements and the offbeat abundant comedy.

It’s a pretty funny movie when it wants to, same for when it indulges in its “exploitation cinema” side, like the random full nudity bits or the deliberately off-beat anachronisms, with some really fuckin wild and weird visuals, for sure.

It’s a bit long, but it’s pretty good, a blast even. Recommended.

Happy Day of The Dead

No review today, the Spooktacular Eight ended just yesterday with Spookies (give them a whirl if you missed the other 7 reviews), and i’m feeling the “dead” part more than expected, so i’m just gonna chill, eat some candy and play more of the recently released DLC for Hyrule Warriors Age Of Calamity, soon i’ll write a mini-review of the second part of that game Expansion Pass offering, as i did with the first part.

And sooner than expected i will manage to get back to cinemas.

The Spooktacular Eight #8: Spookies (1986)

Another classic staple of horror retrospective, the “frankensteined” project that started as something specific, never got made and was later edited, injected with new footage, and eventually released as the obvious hodge potche it became. One that for years was quite elusive, not that well known, and was available on VHS only…. but this changed as it finally got a DVD release in the US and some european contries (surprisingly i didn’t even had to import it, since there’s an italian DVD release).

And of course the title is that kind of cheesy that bode wells for retronauts in search of cult sensations from the bowels of horror history.

Continua a leggere

The Spooktacular Eight #7: The House On Skull Mountain (1974)

Blaxploitation isn’t my forte, but there’s a lot of horror movies in this vague “category-label”.

I like to not go for the obvious choice (when possible), and we didn’t spotlight an “old dark house movie” with the more typical murder mystery set-up of always: reading of the will of long distant relative that recently croaked in presence of his nephews, many not having ever seen the old lady or the other cousins before this very occasion.

It just happens the deceased was a voodoo priestess living in her southern estate, and her relatives that stay to hear the will are being killed off one by one with voodoo magic, with the survivors trying to figure out who is the killer before it gets to them as well.

And i guess it worked a bit too well as this was the final film for Mike Evans (Good Times, The Jeffersons, All In The Family), not his final acting role, thought.

As you could guess from the plot and the title, it’s a blackploitation horror film with a somewhat gothic theme, due to the mansion and it taking place on “Skull Mountain”, which means some real estate did Skeletor dirty, so to speak. I say “somewhat” due to voodoo being involved, but it’s magical, supernatural stuff regardless, and it looking at a different tradition makes it less trite.

And as one of the characters puts it “one doesn’t exclude the other”.

In case you disagree, there’s the costant thunder cracking outside the mansion (yes, done in the exact same fashion you expect) that sets the gothic mood, the nearly costant rain and some fog. And “tribal drumming”.

An irksome point is that i feel the characters called there to the house were made cousins and thus related way late into scripting to avoid the very notion of afroamerican and white people (as one of the cousins it’s played by Victor French) having a relationship, which it’s fuckin racist as hell, but even odder since they didn’t change some of the music during the “date” montage to fit this.

It’s iffy, to say the least, but it’s also a sign of the decade it was made, i guess.

Despite what you may think, the “blaxploitation” label it’s kinda ill fitting, as this doesn’t have gratituous gore, nudity or harsh language (it barely has blood), it’s indeed a old dark house type of horror thriller that focuses on the atmosphere, the supernatural events and magic, and it’s fairly effective, a bit on the cheesy side (as there are skull shaped door knockers) but spooky indeed.

It’s a bit slow at times since it’s not a mystery who’s actually causing the murder and how, so you wait for a twist, and after a ritual tribal dance scene that goes on a little longer than i liked (to be honest i had enough of rhytmic african drumming solos for a good 6 months)… you don’t really get it either, as the situation it’s pretty much what you thought was shaping up to be.

But you get a pretty spectacular finale, so it’s definitely more than “fine”.

I honestly don’t have much else to say or to complain about, it’s good.

Solid production values, good atmosphere, good acting, and not really exploitative, so i can conclude i’d recommend giving The House On Skull Mountain a good watch however you can.

And remember, blood and magic are thicker than water or skin pigmentation.

Seriously, it’s a good one not deserving its relative obscurity.

The Spooktacular Eight #6: Dominator: The Movie (2003)

Are you ready to rock and roll with the most unknown Spawn-rip off you never heard?

Are you ever heard of “brit-manga”? Me neither, but apparently Dominator was the “new wave of brit manga animation”, according to what the front cover of the UK DVD release claims.

Yeah, this is some rare shit indeed, an animated movie that involves familiar names in the horror sphere like Doug Bradley, Ingrid Pitt, and metal bands like Cradle Of Filth providing not only the music but the voice acting, based on a series of british comics by Tony Luke, one that was still ongoing in 2006, but has since then been in hiatus.

Continua a leggere