[EXPRESSO] Blink Twice (2024) | Ass Wide Shut

An overworked catering waitress, Frida, one day happens to be working at a gala involving the late CEO (and founder) of tech megacorp KingTech, Slater King, whom resigned from the job after an unclear scandal he keeps trying to apologize for. Frida accidentally makes a pratfall, which piques Slater’s curiosity, leading to invite the girl and her friend (alongside many others) to an exclusive party on a remote island he just purchased.

Drugs, alcohol and fun abound in the neverending days of debauchery, but eventually Frida starts noticing she and others can’t quite remember what they did hours before, why they have scars or even what day even is…

A mix of Get Out, Don’t Worry Darling and The Menu, Blink Twice it’s actually none of those because it’s ultimately just an exploitation movie that tries to pass a pedantic overabundance of “style” as substance when in reality it’s incredibly superficial in handling his own themes, it just presents them at complete face value and calls it a day, while leaving too many question unanswered and with the big reveal… that actually dampens interest instead of rejuvenating it.

The good performances by the star laden cast i’d argue make things even worse, wasted on a movie that wants the praise of the auter by imitating other films that tackle similar themes, by feigning a wit that isn’t there, thinking that you just gotta throw ideas into the script and that will fuckin do.

For what it actually is… it not THAT BAD, but Blink Twice constantly pretends to be something else, it’s actually proper pretentious, while unable to make any point about anything.

Zoe Kravitz’s debut feels like M. Night Shyamalan trying to cynically (and badly) ape Jordan Peele, but even lacking M. Night’s earnestness and conviction for his ideas.

[EXPRESSO] Alien: Romulus (2024) | Karmacomalion

After the…something that Alien Covenant was, the series is back, with Fede Alvarez (Don’t Breathe, Evil Dead 2013) in the directing chair, though not with a direct sequel to Alien Covenant, since this one is set between Alien and Aliens.

The plot concerns a group of young adults living on a miner colony controlled by the Wayland-Utani corporation that learn of a dismissed, apparently abandoned cargo ship floating just above their planet, and try to board it so they can raid of resources in order to reach a new, more liveable planet and escape their fate of dying in the mines for the company.

The abandoned spaceship (divived into twins modules named after the legendary founders of Rome, the bothers Romulus and Remus) hides more than precious resource, as in some really hostile – and disgusting – form of alien life…

It’s basically a back to basics affair, but it’s executed incredibly well, especially as it manages to blend elements not only from the first two Alien films, but also from all the others ones, with some notable elegance and in a way that feels (and is) familiar, yes, but in a good way, as in this is what people know and want from an Alien film, and Romulus delivers in spades, with excellent effects, creepy ambiancè, disgusting and fearsome alien creatures, explosive action setpieces, likeable characters you’ve grown attached to, graphic gore, amazing set design, etc..

There’s technically nothing really new, nothing to “push forward” (whatever that means in this case) the series, if you will, but if you’re interested more in having a good-great movie, one that – as a nice “bonus”- actually knows what it wants to be, then Alien Romulus is just that.

Honestly might be the best movie in the series since Alien and Aliens.

Super Summer Hiatus: Triple Deluxe

So, the summer hiatus for the blog starts today, but due to university woes and cramming exams, i will be taking a couple of extra weeks off, so we’ll resume on the 15th of September instead of the 1st, and as a form of “compensation” we’ll have a review up every 3 days instead of weekly.

As usual, the hiatus will not apply for the EXPRESSO rubric.

Happy holidays!

[EXPRESSO] Trap (2024) | Dad Of The Year

I wasn’t completely sold on this one, since the trailer “spoils” the supposed twist of the movie, so i wondered if M. Night was gonna do on an anti-twist spree following Knock At The Cabin… the result being yes but also no.

The premise sees a dad bring his daughter to a concert of her favourite singer, Lady Raven (played by actual singer and daughter of M. Night, Saleka Shyamalan), and after noticing a lot of security around, he manages to learn of the entire concert actually being an elaborate trap to finally catch an infamous serial killer called “The Butcher”, to finally catch… him.

There’s actually more to it, not really an outlandish twist, but one that actually makes sense and explains a lot of questions, plus many unexpected turns which i won’t spoil, without making you feel like a fool for investing yourself in the concert part, which it’s already quite intriguing in itself, as you wanna see how the killer is gonna try to outsmart the security measures as the police and expert profiler try to close in on him.

The killer itself it’s not quite original in terms of motivations or writing, but Josh Harnett’s performance perfectly sells his dual persona of loving father and elaborate serial killer.

This helps as a “crutch” to the otherwise clever but not that plausible premise, one stretched out in a way that never makes the film proper scary or tense, especially in the final part that drags on and lead to a sequel bait ending (really could have done without that) but undeniably intriguing as you wanna see how it’s gonna play out.

It’s about as flawed as most his films tend to be, but i’d say Trap is mostly good, one of his better ones as of late.

[EXPRESSO] Borderlands (2024) | Money does grow on trees

Despite “Randy BoBandy” reminds us this thing was actually coming along and not going the way of the Bioshock film….i kinda wish it did, as it’s hard to believe this thing actually exists, not helped by lack of any real promotion for a 100 millions budgeted movie with actors like Cate Blanchett, Kevin Hart and Jamie Lee Curtis.

The plot follows the one of the first Borderlands but also borrows some characters from the sequel, with a bounty hunter, Lilith, tasked by the CEO of the Atlas corporation to get back his daughter, Tina, lastly seen on Pandora, a wasteland planet overrun by thugs, monsters and mercenaries, where is said to reisde Vault, a fabled crypt that allegedly contains the artifacts of a long lost, technologically advanced civilization.

Lilith then inadvertly becomes a Vault Hunter and is forced to team up with a gaggle of renegades, weirdos and psychos, including a robot unit called “Claptrap”.

Having played up to Borderlands 2 and some of its expansions, i will say that at least the Borderlands movie looks the part, and this might be one of the more apt videogames to film adaptations… shame the source material was not really good to draw inspiration for an action comedy film, given the puerile, meme-ridden and often more annoying than charming “sense of humour” the games had, which was tolerable at the time and didn’t quite age great…but heck, even the games were funnier, overall, thanks to their “throw shit at the wall” approach.

It’s a movie 10 years too late, and for an Eli Roth directed film based on a hyper violent videogame series, it’s a PG-13 affair, but the main issue it’s the movie just being a boring, unfunny, honestly kinda lethargic romp, where the weirdly casted A-listers half-ass it big time.

[EXPRESSO] The Well (2023) | Castle Freaks

More italian horror, this time from a more recognized yet fairly fresh name, Federico Zampaglione , “fairly” as in he has been for decades the frontman of a popular italian band, Tiromancino, but since the late 2000s he also started directing horror and giallo films, having a Rob Zombie-esque dealio as he casts his wife, Claudia Gerini (a renowed actress in her own right) in his film.

And while it technically had its premiere in 2023, only now it’s getting limited screenings in some regions here in Italy, with plans for more international releases.

The Well is about an art restorer, Lisa Grey (Lauren LaVera), sent to a small italian village in order to restore a medieval painting that has been damaged in a fire decades and decades ago, unaware that there’s a curse on it…

I haven’t seen Zampaglione previous feature length horror films, but i must say i’m pleasantly surprised, given how often modern italian horror films are shit or confusingly made by people that seem to be ashamed or downright hate the very genre they dedicate themselves to.

Given it’s an indie production, i’m honestly amazed at how good the monster make up and the old-fashioned practical gore effects are (some nasty gruesome shit like face ripping and bowel diggery), acting is decent and honestly direction is quite solid, touching mostly predictable but very satisfying ground with the premise and execution, gotta give props for what’s a “Bad End” i did not expect.

Gotta love the cameo from a now aged Giovanni Lombardo Radice, too.

It’s a pretty good throwback to old school italian horror, even despite some questionable stylistical and directorial choices here and there, the production values screaming for some extra budget to properly “bloom”, The Well is a good, solid italian horror film.

Recommended.

[EXPRESSO] Here After – L’Aldilà (2024) | Facade Of Horror

I’ll admit i watched this only because its part of a national promotion on italian and european films, so the ticket was real cheap, and it’s an italian horror film, i just gotta give them a shot, regardless.

The plot concerns a mute teenage girl skilled in piano, Robin, as one day has an accident leading to her having a pre-death experience, as against all odds she comes back, only for her mother to notice that something isn’t right, as she worries someone else might be in there.

An increansingly worrysome and creepy set of events surrounding Robin force her mother, Claire, to confront her own past experience that marked their lives forever.

It’s not an ugly film, the Rome setting is nice and cinematography is decent, it’s a professionally put together film with mostly decent acting, but it’s also kinda deceiftul, since it’s actually a supernatural drama masking itself as both a possession/exorcism film and something in the vein in Babadook, parading some of the elements from both around to sell the facade.

And it is a facade because the movie is neither of the two, since it straddles the line but ultimately just stays there, deciding on nothing all the way through, committing to both in idea but not reality, so it’s no surprise the final result it’s an insipid compromise that satisfies no one, with a positive ending that feels more like a convenient way to avoid addressing the point of some previous scenes.

But the kicker is that, it’s also ungodly boring, so cliched it hurts and makes it an utterly predictable drag all the way through, making its 90 minutes runtime feel bloated, even more when it doesn’t trust the audience, so it has to spell out what else everyone already correctly predicted hours ago.

[EXPRESSO] Deadpool & Wolverine (2024) | Stabbing Friends

I do not know if it’s still “cool” to hate on Deadpool (both the character and the film series), but laughably wanton changes of popular opinion aside, i quite liked Deadpool and i was glad to see that he would return and drag back Hugh Jackman to play Wolverine again in the third Deadpool live action film, Deadpool & Wolverine, as they go through a multiverse hopping adventure to avoid the timelines being erased, and for spoilers’ sake i will leave it at that.

Not that you’re here for the story anyway, you’re here for Ryan Reynolds’s Deadpool and to see him interact with Hugh Jackman back in his iconic Wolverine role/persona, and honestly i can’t deny it works well as a buddy comedy adventure, as the two actors work off each other perfectly.

I will not chastize the series style and humour and characters for actually being consistent with themselves as they were before, but i also won’t deny i would be quite okay with this being the last Deadpool film, as nothing here works badly or anything, is just the formula at this point in time lacks any real surprise, and the “annoying” aspect of Deadpool deliberate meta-massacring humour is even more noticeable than it’s purposedly made to, like dial it back a bit.

Also, there’s the fact the plot is weaker and meandering, as much as it makes some cameos possible from Marvel characters otherwise stuck in stupid limbos, it’s more derivative, the new characters could be better, and the movie – which is still decent-and-above fun overall – is quite funny but noticeably not as funny (or well directed) as Deadpool 2 was, and the meta referencing und self deprecating humour ends up feeling kind old hat, even if you enjoyed Deadpool whole shtick so far.

[EXPRESSO] Immaculate (2024) | Mary on a cross

I’ll be honest, i kinda forgot this was even gonna be released here, i guess that counts as a “surprise” summer horror release, something to watch before M. Night’s Trap comes out in August, it’s another religious themed horror film, as in it’s about nuns without guns and catholicism and such.

This one is about a young religious woman that moves from Detroit to a rural convent Italy in order to take the votes and become a nun, Cecilia, and is welcomed quite warmly. A bit too warmly, she sees some weird stuff, then she becomes miracolously pregnant (it’s called “immaculate”, it’s not really a spoiler), and then things becomes even weirder and more suspicious, as dark secrets arise and all the hubba you can honestly predict from a movie like this.

So, the short version is that this is – by accident or not, i’ll let you pick because it doesn’t actually matter too much in the end – a lesser version of the Omen prequel that released last year, The First Omen, but this actually amounts to a decent flick, in spite of the aforementioned “similarities” and overall predictable ensemble of situations, events, reveals and twists, even when they’re not pulled straight from the Omen series. Characters fair about as much, with the doe eyed soon-to-be-nun, the strange mother superiors, the crazy old nuns that reside there as the place there is kind of a hospice..

By and large, the concoction here should be just mediocre, professionally shot and produced, but all already been done (and then done again some more) and better, yet the reveal is kinda interesting in the variation/spin it does, there are some decent-to-good practical gore effects, and overall the execution elevates it to being decent, with some extra points for the ballsy ending.

[EXPRESSO] A Quiet Place: Day One (2024) | The Cat Will Inherit The Earth

The acclaimed horror series about an alien invasion of sound-receptive creatures continues…. as it actually does not, by playing the classic “prequel” card, which is often a double edged sword, as it can actually expand upon the material or just feel like a stop-gap “filler” release.

In this case – as the title lays out – we go back to the very first day of the invasion, breaking out in New York, and we follow a terminal cancer-diagnosed woman (and her support cat) brought with the rest of the hospice to see a show, when suddendly vicious alien monsters fall from the skies and rampage, blind as bats but immediatly snapping in chase of of any loud noise…

In many ways, there’s little to say about A Quiet Place Day One that couldn’t/hasn’t already been discussed plenty about the previous movies, it doesn’t add really much “lore”, it just has some characters that will show up in the mainline films, but in this case it’s actually a good thing, as we have another good horror thriller with great suspence, a relatively novel twist on the monsters, excellent effects, good characters, and most importantly the ability to keep things simple at heart but far from boring, without bogging down the dread by forcing a mythos, for example.

Honestly i feel the “Day One/Origin” spin works well enough, i’m quite okay with it following mostly new people, as the “cancer-not-the-sign woman” is actually a pretty good main character, relatable, and while there’s nothing new or mindblowing added to the series, the execution it’s still quite good enough to make for a great film.

It’s a rare case when the “if not broken, don’t fix it” approach does actually still pay off, with the only little wart being the humdrum, shoehorned dream sequence.