[EXPRESSO] Weapons (2025) | It Won’t Attract The Worm

From Zach Cregger, the director of Barbarian….. which i didn’t saw (yeah, i know), so keep that in mind cause i was able to see this as it actually got a theatherical release here.

Regardless, i was captivated by the marketing for Weapons, as it was just first teased with a trailer of children running from their houses at night and a message asking if you saw where they went, and even the proper trailer later out did the now rare thing of actually intriguing prospective audiences instead of giving away the entire thing.

The movie chronicles the mysterious disappearing of an entire class of middle schoolers in a quaint american town, with the children all seemingly simply darting out of their houses at a precise hour of the night, running away somewhere in the dark and never been seen after that, with the police unable to find them despite questioning the only child in that class that didn’t disappear, and their teacher, whom the townfolks start blaming for the whole ordeal.

We see the mystery slowly unfold as we see their point of view and personal experiences of the events that follow, eventually coming together to give a complete picture of what was actually going… which i will not spoil, but it’s pretty creepy stuff.

Even before that, the mystery is quite compelling, you do wanna see where this is gonna go, and it’s most likely not what you imagine, it’s far from obvious, i’ll say that much, maybe a bit old fashioned, but still quite captivating, i for one also didn’t expect to basically turn into sort of an arthouse Beware Children At Play for a bit (even if it not really that either), pretty wild and with some nasty gore.

Definitely an interesting one, quite good stuff,

Platformation Time Again: Fall Pac

So i was gonna review Pandemonium (the first one) this coming september, but schedule woes and the kinda surprising announcement of the Pac Man World 2 remastered (as Pac Man World 2 Re-Pac) of last week had me opting for the almost complete review i already had in the bag for the remaster of the first Pac Man World game.

Even though i would have liked to feature a 2D platformer before getting back to the 3D ones, and then review the originale release of Yooka Laylee when we would have gotten a date for its remaster-remake, i have a lot to say about that… but guess there’s no rush, in a way.

And yes, i didn’t quite expect it since while PCW Re Pac did sold decently, i’d figured Namco wasn’t gonna bother remastering the other 2 Pac Man World titles… but guess we’re getting the whole trilogy.

And that weird Pac Man metroidvania thingie, Shadow Labyrinth.

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[EXPRESSO] The Naked Gun (2025) | Piss, Taken

On its face, this seems like a stupid idea, and another chapter in the modern trend of reviving any old franchise because desperation.

Even more so since this is a comedy franchise, the kind of films that usually you don’t consider for revivals since the genre is even more specific to its time than most and almost immediatly ages out of relevance (also due to changing sensibilities).

So i was kinda blindsided when i went to see the Naked Gun sequel-reboot… and it works.

It works and it’s actually feels like the Naked Gun, with its recognizable brand of “dirty jokes” (almost deliberately kept retro in that sense too), wordplay, 90s metahumour, slapstick and mostly absurdist delirium of actively trying to be stupid beyond stupid, just updating the farcical non-sense to modern standards…. but not quite, as it blatantly doesn’t care to coddle modern audiences and keeps the spirit of the 90s movies, it relishes it also being “dated” and throwing out references to Buffy’s musical episode, uncaring if the youngins will get it or not.

say “sequel-reboot” because the set up is that Liam Neeson is playing the son of Lielsen’s character, Frankie Debin, as an idiot sauvant old fashioned cop that this time has to dismantle a plan from a tech mogul that wants to use sonic frequencies to make people regress or something…. the plot is just a crutch for the jokes as usual, but the casting (including Pamela Anderson) and the committment make it work, Liam Neeson actually makes perfect sense as Frankie Drebin Jr. given how Lielsen’s carreer transictioned from serious drama to spoof comedies.

Plus it’s also short and sweet, just 80 minutes of unfettered retro comedy delirium that is confident and earnest, and is most likely gonna be enjoyed by newer audiences too.

Demon Slayer – Kimetsu No Yaiba: The Hinokami Chronicles PS4 [REVIEW] | Content Slayer

Since SEGA announced its clear intent to unsurprisingly milk the series for all its worth and do so before the 3 anime films hit (after all, this isn’t Dragon Ball or one of Jump’s big shots, so after it ends interest will peter out faster than some of you might imagine) with a Hinokami Chronicles 2 announced earlier this year and having just come out for all consoles (Switch aside), i figure we talk about the first game, which had been quite elusive to secure at a reasonable price, at least it was in my region for a good while.

The PS4 version to be precise (played on a PS4 Pro, to be even more precise), all updated and with all DLC characters snatched on sale, btw.

Here it’s where i usually discuss the series/source it’s based on, which might seem silly right now, since Demon Slayer/Kimetsu No Yaiba has been pretty popular, even outside of the hardcore anime circles, but i feel it’s a series that got extremely lucky, for many reasons, and one where the anime had to do a lot of legwork to popularize it, which in itself is kinda par for the course, the usual for new shonen series that become the next big thing, but let’s just say ufotable wasn’t served “prime Kobe beef” material to work with…

My feelings for the series as a whole aside, let’s discuss plot.

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One Piece: Grand Battle PS1 [REVIEW] | East Blue Smash Stone Brothers

As announced, we’ll be reviewing a handful of One Piece videogames this August, basically the entire Grand Battle sub-series… at least the games that got localized or released westward as well, so logically enough we’re starting out with One Piece Grand Battle, the first one, released for the PS1 in 2001 and brought to Europe in 2003.

It’s so early that it’s ALMOST the first game ever based on One Piece (that would be an action RPG-card thingie for the WonderSwan, never release outside of Japan, like the console itself), but it is the first game ever developed by Ganbarion, which will be handling a majority of the One Piece videogames for more than a decade (and also come back to developed One Piece World Seeker), alongside other anime related/based project for Namco Bandai, like the beloved Jump Super Stars for DS, Dragon Ball Fusions for the 3DS… and also Pandora’s Tower for the Wii.

Being this early in the One Piece anime it means it mostly depicts the “East Blue Saga” ensemble of arcs and basically the prelude of the Alabasta one, though here it stops even before Whisky Peak (due to some characters appearances), hence before Little Garden, so it’s kinda of tease, not gonna lie, but what can you do, it was pretty early in…

At least it has the classic “WE ARE” opening from the anime (kinda), might as well since the original japanese titles puts the “From TV Animation” well before the actual name of the game.

I didn’t play this one until i finally was able to find a copy for a reasonable prices years ago, i did actually play the PS2 game also called “One Piece Grand Battle” well before, so i was expecting a Power Stone clone, just less refined since it’s obvious a far earlier iteration on the idea…

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Pinata Survival Island AKA Demon Island (2002) [REVIEW] | Cinco De Pantyo

This is the “something” i eventually went with as an excuse for having to cut down One Piece August reviews (which are coming up soon after this), some rando film i had in my Amazon Prime Video watchlist, Demon Island…. under its Italian title, Pinata: Terror Island (still showing the title of Pinata: Survival Island in the film itself, as you do), which immediatly has primo “please rent me from Blockbuster, please!” direct-to-video trash film energy.

And now is a 20 years old aged serving of trash filet, hopefully so, let’s roll the dice with something from the directors of King Cobra (the cobra killer movie with Pat Morita i did review back then), National Lampoon’s Dorm Daze and the tv mini-series Deadtime Stories.

One might wonder why retitle a movie called “Demon Island” as “Pinata” or “Pinata Survival Island”…. unless you actually read a synopsis and realize it’s a bit more direct, since that’s the source of the daemons.

You see, an isolated tribe, cursed by spirits for their sins, decides to craft a pinata to house all their evil, and then sends the thing into the fuckin ocean to get rid of it and advert famines and such.

Not their problem anymore, i guess, so its up to a couple of teens to find the pinata on a island, while they are there to do a weird fraternity-sorority thing during Cinco De Mayo, which is getting fraternity guys and sorority girls put into teams of two and…..basically do a Senran Kagura questline that somehow never happened but easily could have, as in they compete for who can find the most underwear strewn around the island, with a prize of 20000 bucks for the winners.

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(Mini) One Piece August is coming back, baby!

Yeah, that is pretty self-explanatory, since i’ve done this before, many times, but yeah, we’re back to a (mostly) One Piece exclusive August, as the first half of it, i’m gonna review One Piece media, in this case videogames… though it will have to happen in “redux” form since IRL events and academic endeavours are kicking my ass harder than planned.

So we’re gonna basically look at the One Piece Grand Battle games released westward for PS1 and PS2… and i was gonna do more but it just ain’t happening, as i realized bitterly.

And FIY , this has been planned in mid-January 2025, with the idea of finishing up the collection for One Piece videogames… as in, the ones that were released in Europe or globally, this time around.

Minus the VR one since i still don’t own a PS VR.

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