Godzilla GB [REVIEW] | Chibizilla Made A Maze

the lesser known but far funnier PAL cover of the game.

Yep, the one you might remember as part of the AVGN Godzilla episode, with the Godzilla chibi sprites, Puzzle Bubble-esque music, we’re doing this Godzilla game this Giant Monster March, because why not after downing shitty licensed affair such as – but not limited to – the PS3-PS4 Godzilla game?

Curiously, this isn’t an entirely random game, per sé, as this Game Boy title is actually a port of the MSX title Godzilla-kun by Compile (yes, the same company that would become Compile Heart and crank out Neptunia titles by the dozens), done by Compile themselves, and the game in turn was based on Godzilland’s merchandise line that had chibi versions of Big G and the various kaijus.

The only differences between the original japanese GB release and the localized American & European ones is the rescue target, as in the original japanese version various monsters kidnap Godzilla’s girlfriend, Bijira (which was apparently a thing), and the western one they kidnapped his son, Minilla, and trapped him in a maze.

Continua a leggere

Rise Of Kong: Skull Island PS4 [REVIEW] | Unfinished Ape Works

It says something when, with 2023 almost finished and with the Daedelic Games developed Gollum game set to win pretty much all “Worst Games Of Year” lists, GameMill reminded the populace that they could be the bigger fiend, and live up to their name….not that it would take them much to achieve that since they pumped out a lot of Nickelodeon licensed titles, including 3 kart racers in the span of 4 years.

And of course, Big Rigs, as they did release the legendary western kusoge of “racing” decades earlier under their previous handle, Gamemill Publishing.

(Strap in, this is gonna be a LONG one, fellas)

This one is surprising in many ways, not because it pretty much signified the return of the licensed tie-in showelware tier garbage (they also released a Walking Dead game some months after, and it was about as good as you’d expect), giving us a whiff of how these games still used to exist in droves up until the late 2000s, but because the license itself sound a little too good for this type of publisher, i mean, the Monsterverse movies revived Kong to have him fight Godzilla.

So, how the fuck did GameMill got hold of the license for King Kong?

Continua a leggere

[EXPRESSO] The Three Musketeers Part II: Milady (2023) | Into The Dumasverse

More Muskeeters of the non-Mickey Mouse variety with part 2 of the new French big budget film adaptation of Alexandre Dumas’ enduring classic, which i mistakenly assumed was a two parter and called it that in the review of the first film…. and yet it still IS a two parter, and it, with this second film focusing on the figure of Milady De Winters and covering basically all the way up to the novel’s finale.

Makes sense, and that much is true, but the script changes some things around and we have it basically ending on a cliffhanger ending… but apparently not for a “Three Muskeeters Part 3”, though many forget this is the first of a series of books about D’Artagnan and fellas, and apparently there are some spin-offs in the works, so yep, most likely this is the set-up for a “Dumas-verse”.

That said, this “part 2” is a good continuation, the energy and intensity to the fight scenes of the first part is still there, Eva Green as Milady gets a good bout as the anti-heroine Milady, and there’s quite the fun to be had still, but sadly it feels kinda rushed, even more than the first part, as some character that were set up to be important barely have a sub-plot or do anything of relevance to do, and i won’t deny at times i felt, if not lost, a bit hurried along the many characters, conspirancies, plans and such, to the point you can follow it but barely.

It there ever was a movie that could have used half a hour of extra runtime, this is one, because it could have actually benefitted from it in a noticeable way, and made this second part as good as the first one instead of decent if messy.

[EXPRESSO] Dune Part 2 (2024) | …The Punishment Due

After being delayed, the second part of Denis Villeneuve’s adaptation of Dune is finally in theathers, and again, i’m putting out there i didn’t read the novel, and oddly didn’t even saw the Lynch take on Herbert’s book, so take that into account, if you want.

After the fall of the Atreides castle and slaughtering of most of his family and friends by the rival house of the Harkonnen, Paul Atreides survives by escaping and entering the ranks of the Fremens, the sand-dwelling bluey eyed natives of the planet Arakkis, learning their ways, while waiting for a chance at revenge, and tormented by horrendous visions of a future holy war and a prophecy that points to him as the likely messiah the Fremens had been waiting for, while the Emperor and the mystical order of priestesses plot more political upheaval and prepare for conflict….

Like the first part, it’s a lot of stylish and inspired visuals (to the point i’d kinda wish i went for an IMAX screening, instead of a regular one), great characters, amazing spectacle, enthralling narrative.. let’s cut the crap, it’s amazing stuff, maybe even better than part 1, and a great pay-off that will make the almost 3 hours runtime go by swimmingly, as it’s packed but not just “dense”.

While the ending teases as this just being the beginning (fitting as the original Dune book series counted six books by his creator-writer Frank Herbert,) and i do want to see more, it actually does provide an incredible conclusion to this story, so you get closure but also one hell of a scenario to close on that will make you want to see how things will continue forwards after such a powerful, really epic finale.

Terrific stuff, some of the best sci-fi cinema in a while.

Gargantua (1998) [REVIEW] #giantmonstermarch

The very – and this case literal – enbodiment of “we have Godzilla at home”, though it’s american-flavoured Godzilla given the production and the year it came out, one year that lives in infamy for the Godzilla faithful, but wait, there’s actually more as this is also kinda E.T., guess the echoes of Nukie and Mac & Me made the idea survive till the very end of the millennium itself.

And speaking of rip-offs it’s not totally incorrect since this TV movie premiered the very same day early screening for 1998 Roland Emmerich’s Godzilla were held, so yeah, it is not a victim of circumstances or a project in production before that was hurried to “compete” (by trying to come out first in hope of fooling the less informed, as usual) with an upcoming big budget Hollywood film that happened to have a similar plot or subject matter.

Still, i think “rip-off” might be too strong a word, since it doesn’t even really tries to do emulate the Roland Emmerich movie, and it’s actually closer to Gorgo or Gappa (as there are more of the monster siblings and parents), because it does involve the “momma monster” coming of the seabed to retrieve “da baby” from an enclosure of sorts, in this case though it because underwater quakes made possible for some amphibious giant reptilian creatures to show up on the beaches of Malau, Hawaii, where a marine biologist has brought along his son for work and to hopefully process the recent loss of the mother.

Continua a leggere

[EXPRESSO] Madame Web (2024) | Spider Vision

The new entry in Sony’s Spider Man Universe side of Marvel offerings, tackling the titural and lesser known – to mainstream audiences – figure of Madame Web, AKA Cassandra Web (Dakota Johnson), a woman working as a paramedic that awakens her powers of clairvoyance after a tragic incident, and will have to confront her mysterious past to help three young women unaware of being hunted down by a menacing “spider person”.

So, it’s not good, at all, i didn’t hate it or was let down, it’s at least inoffensive, as in, it’s hard to feel anything much from a movie that feels directed and acted in autopilot, the cast it’s good but the characters are shallow as hell and the movie’s overall light tone (fine in itself ) kinda backfires in making it hard to care about anything that happens.

Ignoring the fact its about a character intrisically linked to Spider Man, has “evil Spiderman” for its boring ass villain, yet it can’t/won’t even mention the Man-O’-Spiders, Madame Web is just a very unispired origin story that coasts on doing the bare minimum, one it could have been cut to 90 minutes, since it’s fairly repetitive, unengaging, looks cheap, and feels more like a set up for other films than anything, a movie set in 2003 that also perfectly feels like the kind of bad/subpar cinecomic that would have come out back then.

I was inclined on trying to “defend” it due to how harsh it’s being reviewed….. but sorry, this one IS pretty bad and lacks the trashy fun factor of the Venon movies or Morbius, with very little to like, feeling extremely throaway to boot, just “product” that makes futile even feeling angry about it.

Maybe the Kraven The Hunter movie coming out this summer will be better?

Dungeon Meshi/Dungeon Food/Delicious In Dungeon [ANIME FIRST IMPRESSIONS]

I feel like i’ve sang the praises of Ryoko Kui’s manga “Dungeon Meshi” before on these pages, but regardless, i’m gonna say it again, it’s one of the best goddamn manga series i’ve red in YEARS, it has a devoted following that just keeps growing, and i was super giddy to finally see the anime adaptation, even more as it’s handled by TRIGGER, peculiar choice of animation studio.

So here i am after watching the first 4 episodes (the series it’s streaming on Netflix), it’s more than enough to put down some first impressions.

But first, the premise, as the title clues you in but not completely.

In a high fantasy world, adventurers, merchants and all kinds of people are drawn to an unique, everchanging dungeon, and the protagonists party there finally manage to prep up and fight the elusive Red Dragon lurking in the inner depths of the dungeon.

They fumble it, and one of the magician, Falin, sacrifices herself to save the others, getting eaten by the dragon in the process. The party mostly dismantles, but the elf Marcille and the half-ling Chilchack remain alongside the paladin Laios, Falin’s brother, as he wants to head back into the dungeon immediatly and try to save Falin before she’s digested by the dragon.

Problem is, time is of the essence, so Laios improvizes a plan to avoid wasting precious time on gathering money for supplies and foodstuff: they’re gonna eat the monsters they defeat while exploring the dungeon. They are also joined by a peculiar dwarf living in the dungeon, Senshi, whom apparently has already experience in “monster cuisine”..

Continua a leggere

Robot Holocaust (1986) [REVIEW] | Nobody expects the… Robot Holocaust?

Since newer generations of shit movie seekers might not be familiar with this one, let’s cover one of the “classics” in terms of poverty filmaking, one that indeed rivals the many horrible trashy exploitations movies we italians pumped out for the international market during the 70s and 80s, to a legendary degree. If you didn’t know, you would be forgiven in believing this was just another italian production with the usual combination of american actors and italian shooting locations.

Robot Holocaust has certainly that kind of aura to it, even more when it goes for the double whammy of having a sci fi story mixed the sword and sorcery bullshit… minus actual magic.

And i gotta say, upon revisiting it its still an impressive piece of legendary so bad its good shit, a relic from a past filled with movies like these that were so bad and poor in everything they ended up being accidentally funny, hilarious while being so bad it borders on being utright unwatchable shit.

For many of you, this isn’t anything new, at all, as the movie it’s pretty well known among older generations of crap cinema conosseurs, it’s “basic knowledge”, but Robot Holocaust deserves its place in bad movie history, and its legend it’s worth retelling over and over, even if it doesn’t involve Andre The Giant.

Continua a leggere

12 Days Of Dino Dicember #35: Walking With Dinosaurs 3D (2013)

Figured we would eventually feature a dinosaur documentary film into Dino Dicember somewhat…. not yet, because we’re not talking about the BBC’s prolific and historically signifcant series of dinosaur documentaries, we’re talking about the movie based on those.

Which doesn’t mean much since i didn’t grow up seeing that BBC miniseries, quite odd given i was interested in dinosaurs as a boy, and you can bet by me making a recurring yearly rubric about the dinos, i still am.

Though doing some research on the BBC series made me wonder why the fuck was the point of making a movie when the series’ main appeal, one that would influence later prehistoric life documentaries, the idea of making a traditional nature documentary but using advanced state of the art CG to recreat the extinct creatures that once romped n stomped on planet Earth.

Exactly the kind of concept that really doesn’t need to have a plot attached, but i guess because any IP of some success has to have a movie, even just to remind people that the series still exist.

And to make some movie tie-in videogames, because dino moolah.

Continua a leggere

12 Days Of Dino Dicember #34: Dino King: Journey To Fire Mountain (2019)

I was a bit anxious when i saw the poster for this sequel to The Dino King pushing the Lion King vibes even more obviously, let alone the very “Land Before Time”-feeling cover for the UK DVD release, implying a more kid-friendly sequel.

And my fears were kinda confirmed when i noticed the cast… as in, the first movie had a “fake cast” at the end listing the various types of dinosaurs appearing in the film, since the creatures didn’t speak and the dialogues were offered as a post-humous narration by the titular protagonist.

It was a fairly unique thing for these dinosaur movies also aimed at kids, the combo of mostly non-humanized animals that don’t actually talk like people, even with the narration acting as a compromise… which is dropped entirely by the sequel, Dino King: Journey To Fire Mountain.

Continua a leggere