[Resident Evil Live Action Film Retrospective] #6: Resident Evil: The Final Chapter (2016)

“Funny” story: this is actually the second RE movie i watched, and the only one i ever watched in theathers. I wasn’t that interested at the time in the film series, so i just picked up on DVD years later the first Resident Evil movie, but didn’t bother with the sequels.

But since it was gonna be the final installment, i was a bit curious, so i went to see at one of my local cinemas, and turns out it wouldn’t have really mattered much if you saw all the sequels or none at all, because The Final Chapter will forever remain in my head as one of the most embarassing final bouts for a film series, or movies that somehow end up being distributed to big cinema chains.

An istance where i could realistically see people asking for their money back at the end of the movie, where i would agree with their anger and supplement them with rotten vegetables, so they could aim for the distributors and anyone involved outside of the poor employees, because it’s not their fault, so instead of littering the floors, give them a rotten leek so we can all stick it up Sony’s picture (via their Screen Gems’ hole, specifically), or throw a tomato at the HQ of Costantine Films.

Jesting aside, i’d be embarassed to release a movie like this, personally, even if – truth to be told – it’s not as bad as i remember it being, not “if your eyes could puke” bad, it’s still incredibly badly edited, so choppy that it’s a miracle you can actually tell what’s going on in almost half of the action scenes that involve melee fights (and some others too), where you can barely see things happening, mostly thanks to some occasional slow mo, but still, it’s almost a “blink and you missed it” type of deal, so badly edited is more than a good 40 % of the action scenes.

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[Resident Evil Live Action Film Retrospective] 4#: Resident Evil: Afterlife (2010)

By now it was official and expected to get a new Resident Evil film sequel every 3 years, and in like clockwork in 2010 arrived Resident Evil: Afterlife, the fourth one, which also brought back to directing Paul W.S. Anderson, whom passed around the director duties after the first one, but was always writing the scripts, and as we will see, he would stick around for the rest of the film series as director & writer of his wife fanfic adventures in this Resident Evil canon.

And since we passed the third entry already, i guess they felt necessary to also go the 3D route, as the entire movie was shot this way, for obvious gimmicky (and lucrative) reasons, with the obvious parts meant for 3D as easy to notice in 2D as usual.

We immediatly continue from where Extinction left off, with multiple Alice clones attacking the Tokyo Umbrella hideout as promised, wielding kunai, double uzi, double katanas, and their psionic power, so yeah, Anderson it’s so obviosly and strongly back at the wheel, for better or worse, and it’s definitely not in the mood for hotdogging, so we jump straight into the bombastic action at the beginning, we’ll do the exposition and new and returning characters later.

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[Resident Evil Live Action Film Retrospective] #3: Resident Evil Extinction (2007)

3 years after Apocalypse, we’re back with the Adventures of Alice in Resident Evil spin-off cinema land… but she wakes up as she did in the first movie, has some flashbacks, faces some traps, then dies and she’s retrieved by scientists?

Yep, considering the finale of Apocalypse and the opening act leading to a reveal of a mass grave of Alices, it’s not that surprising that we would eventually see the series go hard on the clonatron, upping the ante by explaining that Umbrella didn’t contain shit, and the epidemic spred all over the world, eventually turning the globe into a post-apocalyptic barren, withered zombie wasteland.

The Alice clone that survived/was let go now roams on a motorbike, alongside other survivors as they try to escape the zombies by moving to Alaska through the Mojave desert.

And stopping by Las Vegas, nominally for fuel, factually because its Las Vegas, where they don’t actually stay much, despite the marketing for the movie emphasizing the “Vegas trip”.

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Pinocchi-O-Rama #9: The Adventures Of Buratino (1975)

For this month’s issue of Pinocchi-O-Rama, we’re going back to a “combo mix” of sorts.

We’ve seen live action adaptations, we’ve seen adaptations of the russian version of the novel, The Adventures Of Buratino/The Golden Key, we’ve seen musical adaptations.

So yeah, time to squish them all together for this 1975’s forgotten cult classic Soviet live action children musical TV movie adaptation of Buratino/Pinocchio shenanigans, made by Belarusfilm and released as a 2-parter, because media trends are cyclical after all.

Thankfully there’s no waiting for the climax as it’s almost a 50 yo adaptation, a fairly obscure one that thankfully can be found with hardcoded english subtitles on Youtube (fittingly spit in 2 parts, as well), and at the time of posting still is.

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One Piece Pirate Warriors 4: DLC Pack 4 PS4 [REVIEW]

Here we are with the first round of the new character DLC packs for Pirate Warriors 4, as heavily promised before.

The 4^th Character Pack is titled “Battle Of Onigashima”, and it features 2 “Onigashima variants/versions” of characters already available in the base game, with Battle Of Onigashima Luffy, Battle of Onigashima Kaido, and more interestingly, Yamato, the offspring of Kaido that has proclaimed to carry on the will of the late Oden in a very direct manner.

As for why now, well, it’s not real surprise that the Pirate Warriors games’ storyline are also made in a way to avoid accidental spoilers for the One Piece anime audience, so yeah, it makes sense they had to wait until the Gear 5 episode to introduce this powered up version of Luffy, after all that’s the reason Pirate Warriors 4 has an original story for the Land Of Wa arc, and Pirate Warriors 3 invented a new scenario for the Dressarosa stages as well.

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Pikmin 4 NSWITCH [REVIEW] | Enter The Dogbus

10 years after the last mainline game, the beloved Nintendo series about floral strategy and cutesy war PTSD is back with Pikmin 4 for Nintendo Switch, and i was even more eager to get my mittens on it after replaying for review & funsies Pikmin 3 in its Deluxe edition-port on Switch.

Who am i kidding, after devouring the demo, i was ravenous to get into the full game ASAP.

Story is fairly typical Pikmin, as in, you know the deal by now: people keep crashlanding on this damn planet. And by people i mean poor Olimar, that crashlanded on the planet, sent out a SOS call, but then the rescue team itself had troubles with the ship, so its up to you, as the new recruit of the Rescue Corps (an intergalactic rescue organization) and one of its few “non-scattered around” remaining members to get the whole crew back together, then find and save Olimar, whom also sent them various pages of its journal.

Someone seem confused in terms of when it happens, even confusing it for a reboot/remake of the first game’s story (i guess since Olimar here too used Pikmins to get back the scattered pieces of its rundown but beloved ship, the Dolphin)… dunno why, but yep, since Olimar and Louie are involved too, and we get the new group of cute potato aliens also discuss of Koppai, the planet from where the expedition group of Pikmin 3 came from to avoid famine, heck, even an inhabitant from that planet later becomes an important plot point.

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[EXPRESSO] Gamera: Rebirth (2023) | Stand By My Gamera

Lil G is back after 15 years of official silence… and it’s a Netflix animated series by the co-director of the Godzilla anime film trilogy, with similar 3D CG animation, despite being handled by ENGI (Kemono Michi, Uzaki-chan Wants To Hang Out) and not Polygon Pictures.

We’re not starting on the right foot, but it’s not like Gamera fans can be picky, this is the first official anything since 2006’s Gamera The Brave, though the premise gave me ‘Nam flashbacks of Gamera Super Monster, since it has my boy face off against 5 old foes, including his arch nemesis Gyaos, over the course of 40 minutes long 6 episodes.

The series is set in the summer of 1989′ Japan, with a group of young boys (six-graders) that have their savings stolen by a bully nicknamed “Brody”, the son of an American army commander, confront him, then a giant monster, Gyaos, attacks Tokyo, but the children are saved by another giant monster, dubbed Gamera.

It’s basically a kaiju gauntlet of sorts, with the human side of the story feeling very Stand By Me-ish but also fitting in theme of Gamera being linked to children, proposing a reinvention of the character and franchise that mixes elements from the old Showa era films with the beloved Heisei trilogy, meaning it’s not actually intended for kids at all, as the plot unfolds more in the ways of conspiracies and dark secrets.

And both the plot and characters are surprisingly compelling, making for a good series in spite of studio ENGI trying to emulate Godzilla Singularity Point’s animation as well… but with lesser results of awkard, stiff looking animated 3D CG humans, when the monsters do look good, sport some great redesigns, and their fights – even if often brief – are indeed quite good.

One Piece (Netflix’s) (2023) [REVIEW] | You’re My Treasure Box

It’s time.

I’ve been meaning to talk about this thing since we saw the first trailer (ok, let’s be honest, the announcement of this being greenlit), but i mostly held off because i didn’t want to speculate much but just actually watch the show and then judge it accordingly to what it actually is and NOT what it might or might not turn out to be, as much pontificating on widely distributed promotional material is the bread and butter of this job here, especially when you have to appease the “content God”.

And since we’re being more upfront than usual, yes, i was preparing me own buckets of tar and feathers, even as the trailers close to release did make one wonder if maybe this time we don’t have a huge manga-to-live action stinker, i mean, it comes from the same production studio that gave us the rightfully despised Cowboy Bebop live action shitwreck, let us not forget that.

The trust was not there, at least not for me, despite Oda being vocally supportive and letting it more than know this was not just a random gig he lazily supervised in terms of actual involvement, but that he indeed wanted this to happen for a long time and was excited about this thing, he really wanted for it to work.

I mean, after Franky’s timeskip design…and him helping rehabilitating colleagues (let alone his sensei Nobuhiro “Maybe A CP Ringmaster” Watsuki) of his that in a better world would not have returned with a new serialization on Jump.

Leaving THAT hornets’ nest aside, he was never gonna advocate against it, or something stupid like that, but i did question why he was so hyped about something everyone almost immediatly catalogued as a write-off thing that they’d bring up years later as a “that was weird” kind of story.

So at the very end of August the One Piece live action Netflix series was made available on the plaftorm, composed of eight 45 to 60 minutes long episodes composing the first season, which covers from the very beginning at Shells Town (with Foosha Village visited via flashbacks of young Luffy with Shanks and his crew) up to the conclusion of the Arlong Park arc.

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Pinocchi-O-Rama #8: Pinocchio AKA The Adventures Of Pinocchio (1911)

For the record, i absolutely detest how more than 60% (to be kind) of these Pinocchio adaptations are often called or retitled for international releases as “The Adventures Of Pinocchio”.

I get why, but still, at least opt for simply “Pinocchio”, makes it easier to search for even if we still have to put the decade after the title to avoid confusion, not that it would help too much because “Pinocchio (’11)” we’re talking about today was not made in “2011”, but the other “’11”, as in 1911.

We’re going back in time as hard as we can this time, since this is the very first movie adaptation of Collodi’s novel, an italian production as one could assume, and given its 112 years old, its no wonder it has been considered a lost film for decades, then in 1994 a negative was found, a 30-minute version resurfaced in 2022, and in 2018 we got a 50 minute version restored in 2K from the original negative with more footage taken from a positive nitrate copy and another negative (with different color tints), now both stored in a national Italian cinema archive.

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[One Piece Film Retrospective] #15: One Piece Film Red (2022)

Yeah, bringing back the One Piece retrospective…. kinda, more like continuing it, with a full, detailed review of the last released One Piece movie, Film Red, that hit theathers in 2022, after the EXPRESSO review done at the time it released in theathers here.

For context, that year i was able to see the tie-in episodes of the series during the yearly Lucca Comics & Games convention in Italy, sadly i missed the early projection of the movie itself, but i did see the aforementioned episodes meant to tie-in to Film Red that detailed a young Rufy meeting a young Uta in Fusha Town when Shanks and his crew set anchor there.

Which are cute but as you would expect they’re not mandatory viewing in order to understand the plot of Film Red, it’s a big popular franchise, they’re not gonna risk alienating people who don’t watch or follow the TV series but do follow the manga, for example.

Who’s Uta, you might ask? But she’s the new character and protagonist of Film Red, a world famous livestreamer and renowed singer that is finally having a concert on the island of Elegia, ammassing a huge amounts of fans coming from all walks of life, be it Goverment soldiers, Navy officers or pirate ships, and of course the Straw Hats come too, as Luffy arrives there and reveals he and Uta were childhood friends.

And then he drops the bombshell that Uta is Shanks’ daughter.

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