[EXPRESSO] Borderlands (2024) | Money does grow on trees

Despite “Randy BoBandy” reminds us this thing was actually coming along and not going the way of the Bioshock film….i kinda wish it did, as it’s hard to believe this thing actually exists, not helped by lack of any real promotion for a 100 millions budgeted movie with actors like Cate Blanchett, Kevin Hart and Jamie Lee Curtis.

The plot follows the one of the first Borderlands but also borrows some characters from the sequel, with a bounty hunter, Lilith, tasked by the CEO of the Atlas corporation to get back his daughter, Tina, lastly seen on Pandora, a wasteland planet overrun by thugs, monsters and mercenaries, where is said to reisde Vault, a fabled crypt that allegedly contains the artifacts of a long lost, technologically advanced civilization.

Lilith then inadvertly becomes a Vault Hunter and is forced to team up with a gaggle of renegades, weirdos and psychos, including a robot unit called “Claptrap”.

Having played up to Borderlands 2 and some of its expansions, i will say that at least the Borderlands movie looks the part, and this might be one of the more apt videogames to film adaptations… shame the source material was not really good to draw inspiration for an action comedy film, given the puerile, meme-ridden and often more annoying than charming “sense of humour” the games had, which was tolerable at the time and didn’t quite age great…but heck, even the games were funnier, overall, thanks to their “throw shit at the wall” approach.

It’s a movie 10 years too late, and for an Eli Roth directed film based on a hyper violent videogame series, it’s a PG-13 affair, but the main issue it’s the movie just being a boring, unfunny, honestly kinda lethargic romp, where the weirdly casted A-listers half-ass it big time.

[One Piece: Side Pieces | Retrospective] One Piece Episode A: Roronoa Zoro Falls Into The Sea & Nami VS Kalifa [REVIEW]

Yes, i’ve decide to review these two separately despite being included as bonus material in the volumes of Episode A’s manga… because they’re not part of the spin-off story, they are separate one-shot recreations of two specific fights in One Piece, but they’re also drawn by Boichi, so it makes sense to include them in there.

Imagine this as as addendum to the previous review, as a “Part 2”.

Roronoa Zoro Falls Into The Sea is indeed what you think it is, as it refers to the first (and so far last) time Zoro crossed blades with legendary swordman Dracule Mihawk during the early East Blue arcs (the Baratie one, in this case), which ended up with Dracule winning easily but deciding to ultimately spare Zoro’s life as he wanted to see his potential fulfilled and then eventually fight again as equals, as rivals.

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[One Piece: Side Pieces | Retrospective] One Piece Episode A (Manga) [REVIEW]

FIY, I’m aware this is based on a light novel called One Piece: Episode Ace, which i own, but having still to get around to that, i’ll judge the manga adaptation as is.

In a way, this is one of the most OBVIOUS choices anyone could make for an One Piece spin-off, as Portgas/guese D. Ace is one of the most beloved character of the series outside of the main Straw Hat crew, had been for decades and then became even more popular by being allowed the non-insignificant feat of dying outside of a flashback.

Yeah, there’s no getting around that, nor there’s any point trying to cover it up, i distinctly remember people going around cons (even here in Italy) spoiling his final fate the very same year it happened, and his martyrdom raised its popularity to the very stars itself, as expected, and his very presence in the manga leaves many holes to fill in, so yeah, an Ace spin-off about his yet untold adventures is a fan pleaser ripe to make so much berries was just bound to be made eventually.

And since Oda liked Boichi’s take on the Zoro VS Mihawk (and then later the Nami VS Kalifa battle) we’ll get to that next, he asked Boichi to illustrate the whole manga adaptation.

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Introducing the One Piece: Side Pieces retrospective

It’s August again, so time for a little One Piece themed small retrospective, this year with a review every 3 days till the 15th (after that i’m going into the usual August hiatus to resume on September), curating some of the spin-off One Piece material i have yet to cover, after a One Piece film retrospective (and one curating the various featurettes), a TV Specials retrospective, and having other various reviews about One Piece related material.

This year we’ll basically picking out manga spin-off, one shots, collaborations, mostly focusing on the manga side of things, for a change, starting off later today with a “blast from the past” for Eiichiro Oda fans.

[EXPRESSO] Deadpool & Wolverine (2024) | Stabbing Friends

I do not know if it’s still “cool” to hate on Deadpool (both the character and the film series), but laughably wanton changes of popular opinion aside, i quite liked Deadpool and i was glad to see that he would return and drag back Hugh Jackman to play Wolverine again in the third Deadpool live action film, Deadpool & Wolverine, as they go through a multiverse hopping adventure to avoid the timelines being erased, and for spoilers’ sake i will leave it at that.

Not that you’re here for the story anyway, you’re here for Ryan Reynolds’s Deadpool and to see him interact with Hugh Jackman back in his iconic Wolverine role/persona, and honestly i can’t deny it works well as a buddy comedy adventure, as the two actors work off each other perfectly.

I will not chastize the series style and humour and characters for actually being consistent with themselves as they were before, but i also won’t deny i would be quite okay with this being the last Deadpool film, as nothing here works badly or anything, is just the formula at this point in time lacks any real surprise, and the “annoying” aspect of Deadpool deliberate meta-massacring humour is even more noticeable than it’s purposedly made to, like dial it back a bit.

Also, there’s the fact the plot is weaker and meandering, as much as it makes some cameos possible from Marvel characters otherwise stuck in stupid limbos, it’s more derivative, the new characters could be better, and the movie – which is still decent-and-above fun overall – is quite funny but noticeably not as funny (or well directed) as Deadpool 2 was, and the meta referencing und self deprecating humour ends up feeling kind old hat, even if you enjoyed Deadpool whole shtick so far.

Halfway through Luigi’s Mansion 2 HD

So, a quick few words about Luigi’s Mansion 2 HD, as it recently released, i got it, but there’s no planned review for it this year (i’m waiting for the port-remake-whatever is gonna be of the first Luigi’s Mansion), so let’s just do a quick impressions-style article/hands on, since i’m basically halfway through it already and i did plan the original 3DS release when it came out.

The short version of it is that i wouldn’t stampede to get a copy if you already played it on 3DS, not that is gonna get cheaper to get in time.

I just wanna stress out this is mostly a release for people that played Luigi’s Mansion 3 and wanna play all the series on Switch, for those that haven’t already played Luigi’s Mansion 2 before and maybe have only a Switch as their modern Nintendo console.

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Shark! AKA Samuel Fuller’s Shark AKA 4 Bastardi Per Un Posto All’Inferno (1969) [REVIEW] | #thesharksix

You can hardly get any more basic with a title like “Shark!” (shouted, of course), so it’s no wonder it got mostly forgotten in time, its status as a pre-Jaws shark film not helping, hence leave it to the italian home video market to release under the title of “4 Bastards For A Place In Hell” (4 Bastardi Per Un Posto All’Inferno), far more eye-catching and way fuckin better than just “Shark (exclamation mark)” though making one expect to see a spaghetti western, because deception and bullshit was always the name of the game when localizing titles of movies here in Italy.

Though it also can be summed up as “the shark movie with Burt Reynolds in it”, as we have basically a shark-laden style “Treasure Of The Sierra Madre” plot as well, with the protagonist being a gunrunner that loses its cargo near a Sudanese harbor town, making him stuck there, until he’s hired by a woman to help a scientist raid a sunken ship in shark-infested waters for some.. “valuables”.

Pity is, he faces competition from other people hired to do the very same thing..

Not to be confused with 1975’s Shark Treasure by Cornel Wilde, also about a sunken treasure and criminals, and one that also publicized itself on the realism of the sharks in it, because… minds think alike, especially when you’re gonna cash into Jaws’ success.

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[EXPRESSO] The Animal Kingdom (2023) | Goo goo g’ joob

The Animal Kingdom is a movie of many things, as it has superhero-ish and body horror elements, but it’s actually a fresh thriller-coming of age French movie from director Thomas Cailley, about a nearby future where a bizarre disease start turning people into animal-human hybrids – called “critters” by the populace – needing to control and herd them into contaiment facilities.

The plot sees a teen, Emilè, and his dad, a cook, move out to a small town in order to stay closer where Emile’s mother is being treated for her mutation, obviously keeping it a secret from everyone they met, a task that becomes harder as Emile’s mom, after an accident with the car trasporting them, escapes in the surrounding wooded area, alongside other “critters”, and nearly impossible as Emile himself notices he starts to mutate, with newfound fur, claws, and other bodily alterations..

Despite the Island Of Dr. Moreau-like premise, it’s mostly a thriller and a coming of age film, as Emile matures and goes through more than the usual teen changes, makes friends, and how the world around him reacts in various forms to these mutated “kemono people”, serving the expected but still well tackled themes of racism, tolerance, love, and mostly about freedom.

And yet, even if it seems like The Animal Kingdom it’s trying to juggle too many elements at once, the final result is quite interesting, as it manages to handle the themes and ideas very well, giving them a fresh spin, one that works by putting at the forefront the well characterized father-son duo and the drama that follows from the situation, harvesting it to end up on an empowering and understanding, almost tender note.

Even better, the effects are honestly great.

A nice surprise, one i recommend checking out whenever you can.

[EXPRESSO] Furiosa – A Mad Max Saga (2024) | Scrotus Maximus

We’re back to the Wastelands with the long post-poned prequel/spin-off of Mad Max: Fury Road, Furiosa, and i’m being vague on what is is… well because it is a prequel that tells the origins of Furiosa from Fury Road, but it also not obsessed with continuity purity or that crap, understanding that these stories are not history logs, more chronicles, myths, with the inevitable variations that get told to and passed by the lore keepers and such.

As the subtitle puts eloquently, it’s a saga, it’s a legend.

The story sees a young Furiosa being kidnapped from the safe and still fertile haven she was born into by goons of a certain Dementius, only for her mother to get her back and dying while trying to protect her, with Furiosa living for years as a slave to Dementius, whom eventually grows cocky and tries to expand by taking over the territories of Immortan Joe… with middling results, but Furiosa never flinches or wavers, awaiting for a chance to exact revenge on the man that took everything away from her….

While a good chunk of the cast from Fury Road is back, Furiosa is played by Anya Taylor-Joy instead of, and honestly she’s amazing, delivering a great performance with very few lines, Chris Hemsworth is quite fun as the new douchy villain Dementius, and overall it’s great to have more Mad Max, Miller’s approach to action is still amazing, and its comic book-style post-apocalyptic desert world – and its tribalistic weird characters – is as fascinating as it always has been.

Honestly my only gripe is that it’s just not as good as Fury Road, i’d say mostly because it’s still a very good damn ride but it feels a bit too drawn out, in spite of its uber direct storytelling.

Samurai Maiden PS4 [REVIEW] #meleemay

I’ve been waiting to cover this one for a while, but i had to wait for it to go on a decent discount, since D3 Publisher went extra crazy and asked 50 bucks (70 for the Deluxe Edition that includes all DLCs, mostly costumes and music from other D3 franchise like Bullet Girls) for what was obviously another budget game of theirs.

Having played all Oneechanbara games and waiting for the Namco Bandai owned company to finally announce the western release for EDF 6 (which was supposed to be out this spring but was eventually delayed to late July 2024), i did want to play Samurai Maiden earlier, but the absurd price really held me off, i’m not fucking paying 70 bucks for a complete edition of a digital only release of a D3 Publisher budget hack n slash anime game.

Curiously, despite the publisher involved and the premise of hack n slash action using a japanese anime high school girl, this is NOT the fanservicey fest you’d expected, i guess after the “prude crusade” Sony went (for whatever reason, since they were the main platform for most Senran Kagura games before), niche titles like this had to tippy toe on their tits to see what’s ok now.

the plot sees regular high school girl Tsumugi transported back to the Sengoku period, isekai’d directly during the Honno-ji incident so she can chat up Oda Nobunaga and have three female anime ninjas explain she was summoned there because she’s a discendant of a so called “Miko Of Prosperity”, and a prophecy involving her and a Demon Lord was foretold, etc.

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