One Piece: The Great Tongari Island Treasure Hunting Adventure (2018) [REVIEW] 4D Pirate Propaganda

One Piece The Great Tongari Island Treasure Hunting Adventure 2018.png

Writer: unknown

If having to go at selected water parks and such places to see the 3D featurette Trap Coaster seemed asking a lot, don’t worry, this time you – only – had to go to One Piece Tokyo Tower, the only One Piece theme park in the world, situated inside Tokyo Tower (in case the name wasn’t clear enough), open since 2015… and closed – permantly, to boot – this 31^th of July 2020.

Gomu Gomu no Bummer indeed. Continua a leggere “One Piece: The Great Tongari Island Treasure Hunting Adventure (2018) [REVIEW] 4D Pirate Propaganda”

One Piece 3D: Trap Coaster (2011-2012) [REVIEW] | 3D Water Park Pirates

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Director: unknown

Writer: unknown

Unlike the previous One Piece featurettes, shown alongside that year’s feature film of the series, Trap Coaster was – fittingly so- shown in water parks and the like as a limited “theathrical” release (as in i guess it was shown inside small locales repurposed as temporary cinemas, or something like that, i don’t really know) between December 1, 2011, and February 27, 2012.

Of course never re-released in any official capacity anywhere, so it’s no wonder it’s almost unknown even to One Piece fans, but internet exists, so you can find it subbed. Continua a leggere “One Piece 3D: Trap Coaster (2011-2012) [REVIEW] | 3D Water Park Pirates”

One Piece: Dream Soccer King (2002) [REVIEW] | King Of Table Soccer

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Director: unknown

Writer: unknown

The second featurette, another theatrical short, was shown before (and on the japanese DVD release was bundled with) the third One Piece movie, Chopper’s Kingdom in the Strange Animal Island.

And again, it was never officialy released outside of Japan, which is true for pretty much all the featurettes and theathrical shorts. Continua a leggere “One Piece: Dream Soccer King (2002) [REVIEW] | King Of Table Soccer”

Dangerous Waters: Shark Attack/Spring Break Shark Attack (2005) [REVIEW] Teen Sharks, GO?

Dangerous Waters Shark Attack AKA Spring Break Shark Attack 2005.png — **Yeah, not a clear edit. Good lord, at least have matching fonts.**

This is actually Spring Break Shark Attack, but sold on home video as Dangerous Water Shark Attack, like in the UK DVD version, which also sports a cover trying to imply a more grim tone to the titular shark attack, totally trojan horsing to the shark movie aficionados a movie with such a generic name, making them think this is The Reef.

Really, even Jersey Shore Shark Attack had more to it, even if it was due to mixing together (and unofficially) two different – yet perfectly compatibile – flavours of trash, this is exactly what it says on the tin, and one that must have required very little brainstorming. Shark movie. Spring break. Teens played by “not quite teen” actors. Bikinis. Send tweet. Send script. Print. Beautiful. Continua a leggere “Dangerous Waters: Shark Attack/Spring Break Shark Attack (2005) [REVIEW] Teen Sharks, GO?”

Mega Shark in Malibu/Malibu Shark Attack (2009) [REVIEW] | Goblin Jaws

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Like it’s so often the case, i got this one on DVD for cheap, and the UK DVD release tries to fool you into thinking that’s related to (or part of) the Mega Shark series by The Asylum, even putting “the legend returns…” in the box art.

It’s actually not, it’s just a random shark movie called Malibu Shark Attack, that also just happens to have been released in 2009 like the first Mega Shark movie, Mega Shark VS Giant Octopus, but by this logic, Black Dynamite and Dragon Ball Evolution also belong in the Dinocroc shared universe. This is actually part of the Maneater series, though calling it series it’s a stretch, they are cheap horror films produced by RHI Entertaiment for SYFY (usually debutting there and then going to video), yes, but they don’t even stick to the theme of “natural horror” anymore. Not that it really matters.

Doesn’t help that this release still keeps the alternative DVD title of “Mega Shark Of The Malibu” in the movie itself, but it wouldn’t be a genre film without at least 2 or 3 alternate titles, i guess. It’s one of the unwritten laws of b movies and such. Continua a leggere “Mega Shark in Malibu/Malibu Shark Attack (2009) [REVIEW] | Goblin Jaws”

Mississippi River Sharks (2017) [REVIEW] | Senior Rodeo Daredevils

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I’ve finally found a version with the original english voices (and in hindi, again), so time to review this one as well!

And it’s quite the shark dropping we have, because 1 minute in you’ve already seen the best part, it’s not even from the actual movie, it’s a clip from a fake in-movie shark series called Shark Bite, and this ties into the actual plot of the movie, with sharks attacking river boats in Mississippi and then disrupting a fish rodeo (possibly held by ol’ Jim Slater ) presented by the main lead of the fake Shark Bite movie series.

Continua a leggere “Mississippi River Sharks (2017) [REVIEW] | Senior Rodeo Daredevils”

Jersey Shore Shark Attack (2012) [REVIEW] |”Get out of my friggin pool!”

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Yeah, we got to the point of having reality show licenses for an otherwise random crap shark movie, but if Coronation Street got a videogame, MTV’s Jersey Shore can have a shark movie…. actually no, it’s not endorsed by MTV, for some reason, this is a perfect match in trash heaven, and it’s not like MTV it’s above stuff like this.

But it isn’t, so they couldn’t use the names or the nicknames from the show, but that means nothing to me. Due to cultural osmosis (mostly forced, but whatever) i know it’s like The Big Brother but even more trashy – somehow – and taking place in New Jersey, but all i knew about it was that there’s a girl called “Snooki” in it, and it’s a reality show… that’s it. Doesn’t help that most of the things i know about New Jersey (not much) i learned by watching Aqua Teen Hunger Force.

So i was fully expecting to see Carl show up, somehow, but it doesn’t happen. Continua a leggere “Jersey Shore Shark Attack (2012) [REVIEW] |”Get out of my friggin pool!””

One Piece: Film Gold (Episode 0) (2016) [REVIEW]

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Director: unknown
Writer: unknown

Going back to the case of a One Piece movie having more than one prologue or preamble, since Film Gold also had a TV special that tie into it, Heart Of Gold, but – as a memory jog – we’re just covering featurettes and OVA this time.

And this actually takes place after that special but before the events of Film Gold itself, like Film Z’s Glorious Island OVA it was also released on smarthphones, and it really doesn’t tie into the movie it’s supposed to, it’s just so happens that the Straw Hats are on their way to the Gran Tesoro ship-city. Continua a leggere “One Piece: Film Gold (Episode 0) (2016) [REVIEW]”

One Piece: Glorious Island OVA (2012) [REVIEW]

One Piece Glorious Island OVA 2012.png

Director: unknown
Writer: Eiichiro Oda

Going really into obscure territory here, since this is the prologue to One Piece Film Z, but it wasn’t released as a limited edition disc in a specific chain of theathers or shops, that would be too easy: instead it was originally released in 2 parts (6 minutes each) on smartphones as part of collaboration with Docomo’s then new mobile TV format-service, NOTTV, and later compiled in the japanese Blu-Ray release of One Piece Film Z.

Yeah, it’s basically an “Episode 0” of sorts, but instead of setting up more clearly the events of the movie and giving more info on the villain (like the following OVA prequel/episodes 0 for Strong World and Film Gold would do), this is a direct prologue that leads into the actual beginning of Film Z. Not that it matters because this is so detatched from the movie (you don’t see any of the movie villains in any shape, for example) it might as well be a random featurette, it would make more sense that way.

Sure, with the release format and the very nature of this OVA, you would reasonably guess whatever happens in it can’t be that important to the plot of the actual movie…..and you’d be correct, let’s not dance around it. Continua a leggere “One Piece: Glorious Island OVA (2012) [REVIEW]”

One Piece: Infiltration! Thousand Sunny! OVA (2011) [REVIEW]

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Director: unknown
Writer: unknown

Yet again we have a collaboration short, Infiltration! Thousand Sunny, born out of a deal with Nissan (yeah, the car company), and sold as a limited edition DVD exclusively in their japanese stores to obliquely promote the Nissan Serena model.

The DVD also included a making of the short film One Piece 3D Straw Hat Chase, not only because it’s animated in the same style of 3D CG, but because it’s main point it’s to advertise Straw Hat Chase, Luffy outright says that at the end, and it serves as a 8/9 minutes preamble to that movie. Continua a leggere “One Piece: Infiltration! Thousand Sunny! OVA (2011) [REVIEW]”