[EXPRESSO] The Bride! (2026) | Mary Shelley’s Frankenmess

This was a film i did look forward to see, obviously, being a peculiar take on Bride Of Frankenstein, with the trailers showing off The Creature (the Frankenstein monster) and The Bride in a Bonny & Clyde, Syd & Nancy style dynamic as they travel a 30’s America of gangsters and trenched detectives.

The premise sees the ghost/spirit of Mary Shelley, the author of Frankenstein herself, meta narrate about her “sequel” about the “Bride” of Frankenstein, in this case the corpse of a prostitute working undercover to gather info about a particularly violent mob boss, which is dug up after the Creature travels to America and seeks the help of Dr. Ephronious to make him a companion in order to soothe his unique loneliness.

The experiment is successful and so the Bride is borne, but it becomes difficult for the two monsters to go unnoticed, not only due to the police and the mob befuddled by a presumed dead woman showing up on the newspapers’ headlines, but also because Mary Shelley herself occasionally possesses the Bride’s body…..

the idea of a feminist take on Bride Of Frankenstein makes perfect sense, i do believe so, even if discordant by design, as it’s not only a horror-crime duet of deranged protagonists complementing each other’s delirium, but it’s also a gothic romance that often dips into comedy and even musical sequence that seems to tribute-spoof Frankenstein Junior.

It’s ambitious and – again- by design tries to combine together pieces that don’t really naturally fit, which is indeed “very Frankenstein”, but the execution honestly feels like a really hot mess of intentions, even more stitched together and messier than intended, downright clunky.

I do respect its ambition, even if the final result is indeed quite flawed, but also proper interesting and never quite boring.

The Black Scorpion 1957 [REVIEW] | #giantmonstermarch

There are many giant monster bugs themed films from the ’50s, and if you made one back then, there’s a good chance that legendary fx maestro Willis O’Brien worked on most of them, curating the creature effects made in stop motion animation, and The Black Scorpion is indeed one of the less discussed 50s giant monster flicks, alongside the often forgotten-ignored piece of Eugenie Larie’s “dinosaur trilogy”, The Giant Behemoth, also with effects by O’Brien.

Yes, before you point it out, yes, a scorpion is not a bug per sé (and we’re gonna split hair, ants aren’t bugs either), is an arachnid, but it’s not like audiences cared about this back in ’50s, nor do they now.

Doesn’t really matter because if we can make it big, we can make a movie about it, thems the rules, and a scorpion is a really intimidating crawly for most, so why the fuck not?

Continua a leggere

I.K.U. (2000) [REVIEW] | LGBT Robosexual Runner

While i most likely won’t be reviewing the new Wuthering Heights film adaptation, to prove my platonical love for you, the audience, i will review this film i found on DVD in a flea market, and no, it wasn’t on the porn section.

I know i had to get it, it was like, 5 bucks at max, and with a title that screams “CINEMA” as IKU gets a IGN certified “10 out of 10” just for reference-pun combo that is the subtitle “I, Robosex” added in the Italian DVD release.

Sometimes i get to find import DVD copies of weird state sponsored video art when i go thrifting, sometimes i pick up fully localized and officially distributed “technically not porn” like this.

So, the hell is this?

Continua a leggere

[EXPRESSO] My Father’s Shadow (2025) | Abiola ’93

Presented as last year’s Cannes, My Father’s Shadow is one of those films that they sneakily released in theathers and i almost missed, which would have been a shame.

Though i understand there’s no point pushing to general audiences an UK-Nigerian coming-of-age story presented with subtitles only.

It is June 12^th 1993, day of the presidential elections in Nigeria, and two young boys, Remi and Aki, are brought along to Lagos by their often absent father, Folarin, as he goes there to ask for months of unpaid salary to begin with, but decides to bring the boys along and – as he waits for the supervisor to come back later that night – have them seen some city life, relax at the beach, go to an amusement spark, spend some time with them.

The boys in turn get to see more him open up to them, but in the tense political atmosphere of the city (with military mowing in pre-emptively into town after denying a massacre happened some days prior) and eventual uprising due to the election failing, their father is suspected of subversive activities, making them question even more who he really is…

It’s a really good coming of age story that while is enhanced by taking place on the backdrop of a politically troubled piece of Nigerian history (which doesn’t narrow it down much, the more i think abourt it), it doesn’t use it as a “crutch” for the characters dynamics, and is a heartfelt drama about absent fathers with great characterization and terrific performances.

In spite of the predictable “revelation” at the end, it still lands quite the emotional punch, since the drama and characters are relatable but not banal, heavy but not sensationalized, making My Father’s Shadow an amazing debut film for director Akinola Davies Jr.

12 Days Of Dino Dicember #52: Baby: Secret Of The Lost Legend (1985)

Unlike the other 1985 film review for Dino Dicember this year, this one is indeed a proper dinosaur film, and one that does know the target demographic its going for, not that a title like “Baby The Lost Legend” would led to people assuming the opposite.

It’s also another dinosaur themed by Disney, this time under the Touchstone Films/Pictures label

like One Of Our Dinosaurs Is Missing, thought thankfully no “Yellow Peril” age chinese stereotypes, we’re moving to Africa as the movie premises involves a couple of archeologists trying to track down the local legendary monster known as mokele mobembe, whom happens to share many characteristics with sauropods, dinosaurs basically, leading the two to find a family of brontosauruses deep in the jungles of Congo.

The two are followed by the African military, which seems the dinosaurs as a potential treat and will have to escape them in order to save the baby and its parents as well…

Continua a leggere

12 Days Of Dino December #51: Ice Road Terror (2011)

Another one that’s been long overdue, and not because of any specific reason, besides resulting absurdly elusive to find so far, outside of buying a used import DVD of it on Ebay, which was also unbelievably expensive, hence the post-poning until eventual availability.

That did came when i found the thing uploaded on Youtube in full some months ago, glad i didn’t blow 40 bucks or something on just the US DVD copy. Without the box.

Especially for what is literally just a random SyFy dinosaur movie, Ice Road Terror is nothing more than that, and in hindsight it might sound like a mockbuster of that Liam Neeson starring film, The Ice Road, but that came out a decade later, in 2021, the title of this – apparently – its meant to reference a TV series i’ve never heard before, called Ice Road Truckers.

This movie too is about “ice road truckers”, as in a couple of truckers that are driving through Alaska’s frozen rivers in order to deliver some equipment to a remote diamond mine in the region.

But on arrival they encountered a prehistoric creature that had been long dormant in the ice.

Typical.

Continua a leggere

[EXPRESSO] Zootopia 2 (2025) | We Will Survive

I’ve been skipping most of Disney output of lately, Wish did reinforce this habit, but since i did like the first Zootopia and thought it was one of the best modern Disney films, i was planning on watching the sequel. So i did.

After a brief recap of the final twist and ending of the first movie (which is roughly “one child old” by now), Zootopia 2 follows up Nick and Judy’s unit, which is jeopardized due to them fumbling an operation and causing destruction in the wake of the city centennial, for which a book pivotal for the very foundation of Zootopia itself will be shown to the public.

But despite this, Judy finds proof of a reptile entire the city, which hasn’t happened in a centhury, and she investigates, her and Nick find themselves involved in another conspiracy, get framed and have to escape and get to the bottom of this mistery.

While it’s yet another conspiracy plot, we do get some solid worldbuilding, new characters and a solid villain, and we get to see more of this animal world and how it works beyond the big metropolis, as the sequel builds on the themes of racism, prejudice and discrimination with gentrification and (more) classism now, here done with the “reptile problem” and a political scheme about expanding biomes made for specific types of animals at the expense of others.

It does some of the typical Disney quirks plotwise, but it’s more the benign ones, these are not as bad as they could be, the new characters are fun, there is some sensibile development of the unusual cop buddy duo of Judy and Nick, there are some fun, quick references/nods for the older crowds, and overall it’s honestly a great sequel and a pretty good animated children film,

[EXPRESSO] One Battle After Another (2025) | Leonardo D. Caprio

While i would have been happy with Licorice Pizza being the last film of Paul Thomas Anderson… wait he did say he wasn’t planning to “do a Tarantino”, and even if he did it would have been hard to believe, as his new film, One Battle After Another, demonstrates.

Which is already a surprise as its not set in some past but in modern days… after starting in the 1980s by showing the freedom fighters-vigilantes calling themselves “The French 75” freeing a group of migrants, one of the being “Ghetto Pat” (DiCaprio) who’s trying to prove his worth to the crew with his explosive expertise, and gets together with the crew’s leader, “Perfidia Beverly Hills” (Teyana Taylor), whom in the operation holds hostage the camp’s commander, Sgt. Lockjaw (Sean Penn).

Later Perfidia and Pat do have a daughter, but Perfidia storms out and goes missing.

16 years later, Pat, now known as “Bob Ferguson”, is forced back into the revolutionary stuff as Lockjaw is back searching for him and his daughter with a PMC worth of forces, so “Bob” has to try and contact the “old band” to save his skin and his daughter… despite being so out of the loop, beyond “rusty”, as he forced to confront his past despite not being cut out for it, at all.

I mean, he’s manic, paranoid, and looks like The Dude if he was more of a mess in every regard, being so out of place, desperate and oddly – but fittingly – tangential in this humour crime comedy drama that is actually able to transition with effect from comedy delirium (there’s a cabal of Santa worshipping hyper racists in it, for once) and the grim, depressing reality of how the injustices keep repeating for the future generations.

A must see film.

Mario Kart World NSWITCH 2 [REVIEW] | Open Kart Policy

So, yep, this review is a bit late, but given there was no communicated immediate plans for their “content roadmap”, i feel what i have to say now would have applied at launch and might apply despite future updates, but we’ll see about that, though i don’t plan to update the review as they add stuff either as part of DLC expansions or free software updates.

I mean, i also didn’t plan to keep reviewing Pirate Warriors 4 DLC as i did, so time will tell, but as of now they haven’t hinted or said anything about what they plan to do with the title in the future, so here we go.

That said, i did play a good chunk of the game at launch, then i came back after DK Bananza to dig into the “open world-free roam” mode, play some online matches occasionally, and trying to have the RNG grant me the other hidden characters like mah boi Fish Bone.

[EXPRESSO] Locked (2025) | Small Theft Auto

Locked has a simple, yet fairly intriguing hook: a small time thief desperate for cash one day finds a strangely unlocked high-tech smartcar (like a Tesla that doesn’t randomly burst into fire) to loot it, but once in he then realizes he’s locked into the vehicle, and gets contacted by the owner, whom remotely controls everything in the car, making it act as a trap for whoever tried to steal it.

The guy then has to survive locked inside, while the unseen owner keeps torturing him, playing mind games and keeping the complex trap scenario of his own design going…

Sadly for Locked, this is the kind of script with a decent-good idea/concept…. but ultimately doesn’t really know what to do with it outside of slightly escalating the tortures, and boiling the explanation for this cruel trap to basically the same “eat the rich” surface level class warfare bit A24 movies have done to death recently, just done in a more utilitarian and even more shallow fashion, with the car owner (Anthony Hopkins) also written as being completely callous, a straight up empathy-free psycho, for better or worse.

It’s also not tense enough to make you question for real if escape is even possible to begin with, which is an issue (as is the unsatisfying ending) but i will say it’s not boring, even though it’s a film carried entirely by Bill Skarksgard’s performance as the low tier criminal that is forced by circumstance to thieve and such in order to care for his family, and if Hopkins kinda phones it in (literally for most of the film), he seems to be having fun with such a stock Jigsaw wannabe, which does help.

Overall, Locked feels middling, not bad but makes one wonder for the movie that could have been.

P.S.: This also is another foreign remake of a 2019 Argentinian movie called 4X4 (which has now has been remade thrice), itself having a similar premise to a 1998 direct-to-video film named Captured.