[EXPRESSO] MaxXxine (2024) | La Sexorcisto, Volume 3

The last chapter of the X trilogy by Ti West, Maxxxine, has finally hit theathers.

FIY, i didn’t see Pearl (the prequel to X before going into Maxxxine, as it sadly never came out in theathers here (just direct to video), i had it on my “to watch list”, but i got sidetracked and stuff.

This is to say that you can go directly to see this after X, as it follows up the survivor girl, Maxine Minx (Mia Goth), now in the 1980s, with her wanting to break away from pornographic films (after a lot of success in the field) and break into the regular cinema biz, managing to finally get a part in a horror movie sequel, The Puritan II, during the height of the “Satanic Panic” scare, as a serial killer named “The Night Stalker” keeps murdering young women in the Hollywood hills…

Ti West once again does an excellent job of balancing out the period piece vibes (sleazy as expected and desired), the direct horror references and tributes, the cultural background of the making movie biz at the time, all without forgetting to deliver likeable characters, excellent gore effects and graphic content (including a Cannibal Ferox pre-cannibalism treatment, let’s just put it that way), a familiar but still enganging slasher storyline, with an excellent cast that also includes Elizabeth Debicki as the “Puritan II” movie director and Kevin Bacon as a sleazy ass private investigator.

It knows exactly how to please fans of the genre, how to play the retro card, and does so without ever feeling patronizing, it just knows exactly what it wants and does it with gusto, with convinction, with genuine love and passion for the subject matter, yet avoiding it being overly referential (or downright masturbatory) for its own sake.

Quite good.

[EXPRESSO] Blink Twice (2024) | Ass Wide Shut

An overworked catering waitress, Frida, one day happens to be working at a gala involving the late CEO (and founder) of tech megacorp KingTech, Slater King, whom resigned from the job after an unclear scandal he keeps trying to apologize for. Frida accidentally makes a pratfall, which piques Slater’s curiosity, leading to invite the girl and her friend (alongside many others) to an exclusive party on a remote island he just purchased.

Drugs, alcohol and fun abound in the neverending days of debauchery, but eventually Frida starts noticing she and others can’t quite remember what they did hours before, why they have scars or even what day even is…

A mix of Get Out, Don’t Worry Darling and The Menu, Blink Twice it’s actually none of those because it’s ultimately just an exploitation movie that tries to pass a pedantic overabundance of “style” as substance when in reality it’s incredibly superficial in handling his own themes, it just presents them at complete face value and calls it a day, while leaving too many question unanswered and with the big reveal… that actually dampens interest instead of rejuvenating it.

The good performances by the star laden cast i’d argue make things even worse, wasted on a movie that wants the praise of the auter by imitating other films that tackle similar themes, by feigning a wit that isn’t there, thinking that you just gotta throw ideas into the script and that will fuckin do.

For what it actually is… it not THAT BAD, but Blink Twice constantly pretends to be something else, it’s actually proper pretentious, while unable to make any point about anything.

Zoe Kravitz’s debut feels like M. Night Shyamalan trying to cynically (and badly) ape Jordan Peele, but even lacking M. Night’s earnestness and conviction for his ideas.

Killer Condom AKA Kondom Der Grauens (1996) [REVIEW] | Squeeze Me Mackaroni

We’ve been a little too classy on here, so to balance things out and offer a tribute to Aphrodite by tackling one hell of horror schlock from the “i can’t actually believe it’s real” department.

One that goes straight for the… crotchular, i guess, though the novelty factor might be less impressive to younger generations, used to a plethora of “joke films” that honestly were better off as jokes than the actual movies that were made in the end (a lot involving sharks, obviously), but still, for the decade it was made it was pretty much conceptually absurd to even conceive, and would actually at best amounted to a joke made in early internet boards, maybe with a fake synapsis if the shitposter was feeling frisky and wanted to sell the joke proper.

But then again the Germans were always something else, and unbelievably this is also based on a book…. okay, it’s based on a couple of comic book by Ralph Konig, whom also wrote the screenplay for this film adaptation, directed by Martin Walz and released in the States by Troma, obviously they were gonna carry it in the US, and promote it with a giant fanged condom.

Also, has the killer condom special effects done by good ol’ Jorg Buttgeireit of Nekromantik and Der Todesking fame, just thid tidbit would have been enough to get me curious, honestly.

That, and how many comedy horror b-movies have the actual H. R. Giger as a creative consultant?

Continua a leggere

[EXPRESSO] Poor Things (2023) | Lanthimos’ Frankenhooker

Yorghos Lanthimos’ latest movie, Poor Things, based on the novel of the same name by Alasdair Grayand (and presented during last year’s Venice Film Festival) has finally hit theathers here, and i’m overjoyed to say this might be my favourite film of his, and honestly even better than the previous one, The Favourite (har har), despite being very different.

As in this is Lanthimos basically reinventing Bride Of Frankenstein but as a modern progressive dramedy about the sexual liberation of the “Creature”, in this case Bella Baxter (Emma Stone), a woman resurrected through an unthordox experiment by the scarred and controversial scientist, Godwin Baxter (William Dafoe), whom hires a medical student to look after and document her learning process, as she has the mind of a child. As she gains more lexicon, more concepts and start seeing more of anything outside of Godwin’s house/laboratory, she eventually wants out and escapes with a suave and dissoluted lawyer, Duncan Webberburn (Mark Ruffallo), on a trip around the world.

A very odd world, because (aside from some of Godwin’s spliced animals that feel Burtonesque at a glance) this isn’t another hystorical setting, as the time period looks like it’s straight out Frankenstein (with many initial black-n-white sequences reinforcing that feeling), with horse-drawn carriages, the circular study halls to observe the autopsies, the overall fashion, but it’s also a very overlysatured retro-futuristic – almost steampunk- world.

Most importantly, it’s another amazing display of Lanthimos ability with comedy, brutal, relentless comedy, especially about sex more than horror as you might think, demonstrating any lack of restrain but alway a lot of wit to sell the absolute farce of these increansingly weirder situations, while knowing perfectly where to the let the drama of Bella’s situation sink in, all with fantastic performances by the stellar cast.

Terrific.

Pinocchi-O-Rama #11: Pinocchio AKA The Erotic Adventures Of Pinocchio (1971)

If you go to the Wikipedia page for the original Pinocchio book, you will notice many entries in the Films and Related sections.

As the time of writing, there’s a notable omission, as in, The Erotic Adventures Of Pinocchio, made in 1971, directed by Corey Allen, one that i swore was in the Wikipedia page before, and one i knew about long before Wikipedia was even a thing.

One that i knew will have to eventually be featured here, and as much i pushed it back down the list for Pinocchiorama… i don’t wanna talk about it around Christmas (and/or equivalent festivies), and i promised some variety to this retrospective, so time to get soft… core.

I mean, let’s get this clear right away: this is a soft-core porn parody of Pinocchio, one that was bound to eventually exist anyway due to the character phallicular nosejobbery.

On the flipside, i don’t have to worry about blackboxing any of the screenshots, so…

For various reasons, one would expect what’s basically a porno spoof to reinvent the original material in a comedic und sexual fashion, though “reinvent” implies a level of creativity that might be a little above crap like Gums, the bar isn’t much higher but we can get lower, down to the abyss of the Super Hornio Bros movies (yes plural) or stuff that the Cinema Snob has reviewed in bucket loads, gaining the unenviable nightmares of a female ET or the cardiatic arrest of a Strokemon.

Knowledge isn’t always benevolent, after all, hopefully the aforementioned paragraph does not trigger any ‘Nam flashback in you, or sparks some morbose tendency.

Who can really say….

Continua a leggere