Musou May and the State Of Musou as of May 2023?

As per what is now tradition, this year too we’ll have Musoy May, with a picked review of a musou/Warriors game every sunday of May.

Here’s where i usually make a general ramble about the state of the genre as of late, but…. there isn’t really much to say or even get unreasonably hyped about, as we neither got any new contender/challenger from some small or medium sized developer & publisher nor does TK really revealed, teased or announced anything.

Samurai Warriors 5 came out in 2021, but aside from a Season Pass TK didn’t either put out a XL or Empires version, Dynasty Warriors 9 Empires needed a lot of shit to be added or patched in, but again, aside a tepid Season Pass that wasn’t really worth paying (for the most part), there was no post-launch support, and since how barebones the modes on offering were… it would have needed.

Touken Ranbu Warriors was also released, but for whatever reason TK decided to launch it digital only on both Switch and PC (via Steam), and i’m gonna save the lamentations about that for its review.

Fire Emblem Warriors Three Hopes was almost perfect but was curiously devoid of expansion content (which is fine since it’s an already massive offering to begin with), so that’s odd.

All we got since June 2022 was simply a teaser trailer for Fate Samurai/Remnant that should release sometime this year, no actual gameplay footage or any real info aside from what could be seen in that short teaser trailer. Surprised it took them this long and actually Marvelous already did developed 2 Fate musou games, but still, it has been months devoid of any news about it or anything else Warriors or Warriors related.

Maybe TK is holding out for what was “E3 time” or for the TGS to drop the existence of Dynasty Warriors 10 (which they teased in interviews before), but at this point there’s just nothing to talk about of substance, and this behaviour kinda speaks volume for how Koei considers his musou output.

I mean, when the best news is them re-releasing WO3 Ultimate in a definitive edition package…. you can tell there’s a drought and no signs of the main gardener being interested in watering the cacti.

I mean, unless they do a 180 ° with Dynasty Warriors 10, Koei shouldn’t complain of losing even more customers, after DW 9 they deserve every critique and negativity coming their way.

[EXPRESSO] 65 (2023) | Adam Driver VS Space Dinosaurs

It’s Adam “Kylo” Driver versus dinosaurs in a prehistoric Earth for one of the worse movie titles i’ve seen in a while, even ignoring how it undermines completely the marketing push of being “the sci fi movie where Adam Driver crashlands into a primal planet that has dinosaurs”, and it’s not the kind of movie that can afford the lackluster exposure it has got before release.

Seriously, it’s not surprising to see some countries like Italy adding subtitles like “Escape From Earth”, because it begs for anything to help described what it’s about, since its way too simple to even get across the title “65” implying dinosaurs because of the extinction event that happened on our planet 65 million years ago. Some seriously boneheaded marketing choices here.

Not that we have a masterpiece whose wings were Icarus’d too soon, but one wonders if Sony wanted this to fail, or why, since i can assure you there’s an audience for big budget dinosaur films, especially sci-fi ones, even more after years of no budget offerings and disappointing JW sequels.

Plot it’s pretty straighforward, about a pilot of a spaceship that’s forced to crashland on an alien planet…. which happens to be Earth, in its primeval, dinosaur dwelling days, so he and the only other survivor of the crash, a little girl, have to locate an emergency pod to leave the planet before they get eaten by the wildlife, or worse, as a storm of massive meteorites it’s coming down..

Dinosaurs look pretty good, there are some effective jumpscares, there’s a solid atmosphere of danger, and the good performances help sell what are somewhat generic characters (equipped with fairly stock motivations and tragic backstories) and a predictable, yet satisfying plot, all packaged in a fairly succint 90 minutes runtime.

Pretty decent overall.

[EXPRESSO] Suzume (2022) | Sit On My Face

Ah, Makoto Shinkai, one of the relatively newer (and fewer) popular anime film directors, often compared to other big name anime directors that have nothing in common with because we don’t expect anyone to read behind this clickbait opener of an article, and his later work, Suzume, finally hitting theathers worldwide.

For the record, i do find Shinkai to be a very talented director, but it’s hard to shake the feeling that after Your Name he just pigeonholed himself into making the same type of movie over and over again, of which he’s seemingly self-aware because Suzume is a far more straightforward story…. that almost immediatly features a guy turning into a chair.

I knew of that before hand but the execution still threw me off, in a good way, as the story unfolds around a common 17 yo high school girl, the titular Suzume, and a young man named Souta, who end teaming up in preventing eartquakes by locking away mystical doors that appear in ruins , in a road movie-esque fashion.

All “obviously” inspired (even more than Shinkai’s previous movie) by the Tohoku Earthquake and Tsunami in 2011, referred to simply by its date (3/11) due to its cultural lasting impact on Japan.

While there’s a lot to like as it’s usual with Shinkai works (characters, animation, mastery in handling emotional weight)… it also suffers from the fact the plot it’s structurally the same we’ve been before, twice, it has some pacing issues towards the end, and you better believe there’s a romance subplot, because.

I do find the ending more fitting the overall message and theme than in Weathering With You, and to be honest even with these flaws, it’s undeniably a good movie that once again demonstrates Shinkai didn’t fluke his way into “anime film royalty”.

Pinocchi-O-Rama #4: The Golden Key (1939)

While reviewing Pinocchio: A True Story, we touched upon the fact Tolstoy created his own take on the story of Pinocchio when introducing it to russian children in 1936, calling it The Golden Key Or The Adventures of “Buratino” (taken from the italian “burattino”, a term lifted from the commedia dell’arte and that indicates a wooden doll/puppet), which also became an iconic piece of children literature during the Soviet Union and it’s still remembered in Russia to this day.

So of course there were film adaptations of the “Russian rejigged Pinocchio”, and today we’re taking to task the first one ever, done in 1939 by the legendary soviet director and stop-motion master animator Aleksndr Pthusko, which fellow “MSTies” might remember for his later fantasy epics and adaptations of popular russian (and finnish as well with the Kalevala based “Sampo”) fairytales, from The Stone Flower to Sadko (absurdly retitled The Magic Voyage Of Sinbad) and of course Ilya Muromets (there’s a Fate joke here, but i ain’t touching it).

Without forgetting the more well known film that often overshadows this one, The New Gulliver, released 4 years priors, which got Pthusko praised by fellow legend animator Ray Harryhausen.

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[EXPRESSO] Evil Dead Rise (2023) | Book Of The ‘Burbs

I’m not the biggest Evil Dead fan, and i honestly didn’t see anything past Army Of Darkness (so i can’t/won’t compare this new one to the 2013 reboot), but since this was gonna be another stand-alone film (despite also being called a sequel to the originals), what the hell, i’m game.

And yep, this is Evil Dead, despite what people that saw the first movies decades ago and clearly don’t fuckin remember them at all will try to tell you.

It’s basically a modern reboot/remake that does some changes to freshen things up, by changing the setting from the cabin in the woods to a suburban slum, and focus on a couple of sisters that reunite just to be torn apart by the unwarranted summoning of a evil undead curse that originates from a forbidden tome spreads..… and also by giving the Book Of The Dead a new name, because i guess the Lovecraft estate did trademark Necronomicon or something?

But regardless, director/writer Lee Cronin did a very good job in trying to capture the spirit of the old entries (down to offering a variation on the static camera chase sequences), with lots of nasty gore effects, disgusting fluids – or worse – being vomited by the possessed, violent impaling, but also with a certain underlining silliness to them, not to the point of devaluing the raw satisfaction of knives to the brain, scalps being ripped open, eyeballs eaten off… it’s nasty but not interested in taking itself 100 % serious, as with the cursing provided by the Deadites equivalents.

Likeable characters, excellent gore effects, intriguing bits of new lore, and overall just very entertaining (while also being enjoyable as its own thing), with a lot going on, all well packed into a very tight runtime just above 90 minutes.

[EXPRESSO] The Pope’s Exorcist (2023) | Amen Amorth

It’s a day of the week of a month, there’s a good 40 % chance of seeing a new exorcism movie in theathers, and this horror subgenre is very overdone, so you gotta have some mildly “fresh” twist or idea outside of “demons or paranormal entities possessing children and throwing priests at walls”.

This one has Russel Crowe playing real life Vatican head exorcist Gabriel Amorth, (whose deeds were also featured in the 2017 biopic by William Fredkin, The Devil And Father Amorth), a younger father Amorth as it’s set in the late 1980s and sees him confronting a demon possessing a young boy living in an abandoned abbey in Spain, but with a plan that involves specifically getting father Amorth to confront him, a scheme that will lead the priest to discover a secular conspiracy….

Russel Crowe is great as a more “hip”, maverick-y and humorous father Amort, which is already scores the movie a good point in its favour, as we have a possession movie that plays it straight but also has a sense of humour, showing some wit and awareness of how exorcisms are often perceived by the non-clergy sections of the populace.

The other “twist” is one of the more shameless things i’ve seen written as a part of an exorcism movie, and one it’s hard to discuss without spoiling it, but let’s just say it’s no surprising this revelation hits in a movie that allegedly was partially funded by catholic companies.

Most of the movie throws around the usual exorcism repertoire, but direction it’s solid enough, the characters aren’t that great but Russel Crowe’s performance alone carries the movie, and there’s definitely a lot of spectacle, gore and graphic imagery (though some of the effects could be better), making for a decent, fairly entertaining flick.

[EXPRESSO] The Three Musketeers: D’Artagnan (2023) | All For Two

Saw the trailer for this some months ago, looked quite good, and i do agree the timing is good to have another cinematic adaptation of Dumas’ legendary tale… heck, even two, as this is actually a two-parter, with the sequel, The Three Musketeers: Milady, shot alongside this one and set to release in French theathers come december, and guess mid-January 2024 here.

After all, i think the last adaptation of the story people still have any collective memory of was… the Mickey Mouse, Donald Duck and Goofy animated film.

That and the Paul W.S. Anderson one, which would be the more mainstream recent one released worlwide (there were some awful italian ones recently, FIY), but i never saw it, and i have a suspicion many did but later pretended they didn’t because i’ve never saw it discussed, even to throw shade at the director.

Regardless, i’d say the timing it’s well calculated, as we also aren’t drowning in swashbuckling historical action adventure big budget films at the moment.

I’m not gonna bother outlining the story because it’s the Three Muskeeters, since it’s such a renowed tale of historical adventure and political intrigue set in France’s Ancient Regime , the characters are pop culture icons in their own rights, but if this IS your first exposure to Dumas’ opus, it will be quite easy to follow regardless, thanks to a good pacing, a fairly straighforward plot and solid characters that are – especially the titular heroes – deliberatly simple to get the hang of.

The short version: it’s a pretty good modern version, with a great cast that includes international names, good action scenes that sport a more realistic feel, good characters, great production values, and it’s mostly faithful to the source material. Honestly i’m quite looking forward to “Part 2”.

[EXPRESSO] Cocaine Bear (2023) | Hidden Packages

Since Grizzly II’s actual release was never gonna cut it (because reality), this year we have a new entry for the killer bear subgenre, with Cocaine Bear, directed by Elizabeth Banks (Pitch Perfect 2, 2019’s Charlies Angels), and a masterclass in marketing by the virtue of “its exactly what you think it is and what it says on the tin”.

Even more unbelievable is that there’s an actual true life story of the titular “coked plantigrade” serving as a loose base for the plot, involving an american black bear that in december 1985 ingested a duffel bag full of cocaine, one of the many dropped via airplane by a drug smuggler that then dies out of some horrendous clumsiness.

In reality the bear didn’t kill anyone and actually just OD’d, and the poor thing now (allegedly) actually resides as a stuffed exhibit in a mall in Kentucky, which is far crueler than any of the kills done by the “Cocaine bear” in the movie, which eats some of the angel dust and then goes on a rampage through a National Forest, starting with a couple of hikers then various people that are either connected to the drug cartel or were unlucky enough to be there at the worst time possible.

And it’s a b-movie style blast of horror comedy fun, with some really graphic sequences (involving disembowling and one of the most hilarious deaths i’ve seen on film in some time), high production values, and lots of dumbass but actually endearing, funny characters (love the “pop art thug gang”). Maybe a bit too many and the final act could have a better pacing, but honestly the movie does live up to its marketing, being silly, steeped in dark comedy, exactly as long it needs to be, and very, very entertaining.

Dead Island: Retro Revenge PSN [REVIEW] #deadislandretrospective

So, we finally arrive at the last entry of the Dead Island retrospective, just in time for Dead Island 2 to finally release in stores, tomorrow actually, which sounds still kinda crazy to me after that memorable first teaser trailer with Pigeon John’s Da Bomb, but we’re almost there, for real this time.

The only game left is Dead Island Retro Revenge, which was originally released as a bonus game to entice people in buying the Dead Island Definitive Collection, with the main serving of that being the remastered/definitive edition versions of Dead Island and Dead Island Riptide, but can also be simply bought on Steam, PSN and X-Box Live for 5 bucks, and it’s actually well worth it.

Which is surprising, because while i do enjoy the Dead Island mainline games, i also fully understand why people hated them (i initially did too), but oddly Retro Revenge i’d say its the unexpected better one of the lot, as it keeps the series tradition of copying someone else’s shtick, but this time they chose One Finger Death Punch as the blueprint, and didn’t overcomplicate it.

But first, the plot, or the tiny narrative that exists to justify the game.

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Grizzly II: The Revenge/The Concert (1983-2020) [REVIEW] | Litigation Bear

Ah yes, the forbidden bear. The Clooney-Dern-Sheen triplette one.

As previously said, since Grizzly was a big success bringing lots of moolah, a sequel was kinda inevitable eventually… emphasis on the eventually, because while in 1983 Grizzly II (subtitled “The Concert”) was shot in Hungary, the movie spent the following 37 years in post-production hell, eventually premiering in 2020 at various festivals and being released on VOD (and home video) in 2021.

Intriguingly, this didn’t stop people from getting a hold of Grizzly II, as bootleg copies of the unfinished workprint were made and in 2007 the VHS were ripped online, eventually leading (among others things) to Brad Jones covering the title on his “Cinema Snob” webseries, and then being hit with treats of legal action by the movie co-producer, the aptly named Suzanne C. Nagy.

As unofficial as the workprint copies circulating were, they also corroborated how badly the production was handled, not only with the movie being shot in Hungary because it was/is cheaper (a common low budget film ploy, as we learned) that way, the principal producer leaving after the first day of shooting and the lack of funding to continue, forcing Suzanne C. Nagy, the co-producer, to procure an investor so they cold finish the main photography, managing to do such… only to learn the original producer, Joseph Ford Proctor, was arrested for a unrelated case of tax fraud.

Peeking through the workprint also showed that the movie was not THAT incomplete, as in there was clearly post-production to do, especially having to shoot the scenes where the bear is attacking and retool the finale. Clearly it was an unfinished product, and it was never officially released (plus all the licensed music present in the workprint pretty much guaranteed it would never release in that state), so there’s a limit to what can be said, since – again – it was a bootleg of the work print.

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