[EXPRESSO] The Death of Robin Hood (2026) | Anti-Hood

Let’s make it clear, that yes, the timing on this one is horrendous, sure, let’s make a new Robin Hood movie in today climate….. about how Robin Hood was actually a fraud, as in, he was actually a vicious criminal that murdered and stole without caring to “give it back to the poor”, but instead just took for himself. Lest the tribilionaries be offended.

Yes, this revisionist take stems from a 16-17^th centhury ballad, A Gest Of Robyn Hode, and actually isn’t a “eat the poor” advocating version, but damn the timing.

This is actually an interesting choice (and arguably more apt than it seems exactly because of it releasing now) that deliberately deromanticizes the myth and reimagines Robin Hood (Hugh Jackman in Logan-mode) as old, aged outlaw moving in the Irish hills and mountains, haunted by his past killing and actions as an exiled criminal, taking refuge in a priory when he gets wounded badly, and there befriending the prioress and other residents of the priory, as he find himself forced to finally come to terms with his actions..

It’s pretty grounded, realistic, gloomy, brutal, and honestly i’d say it’s surprisingly good…. well not that surprising, since its from Michael Sarnoski, director of Pig and A Quiet Place: Day One, but undeniably the narrative moves at its own relatively slow pace and after the first very action heavy part, it becomes mostly a “chamber drama”, and in that regard some characterizations could have used some more screen time.

it’s not for everyone or great, but it’s a fuckton more interesting and worth your time than the last time we got a modern Robin Hood movie, i remember seeing that awful 2018 film simply called Robin Hood that somehow made the Guy Ritchie’s King Arthur look better in comparison.

[EXPRESSO] The Odyssey (2026) | Our 1UP Man

I will say that there are legitimate criticism to be made about this new Nolan adaptation of the greek epic, especially those about historical accuracy, in a movie that opts for a realistic war movie-ish tone…. but on the other hand, what did people expect when Anne Hathaway is Penelope and one of the first thing we saw about the film were those superhero style armors?

Since it not even a 3 hours long film, it doesn’t opt for a complete retelling, but in line with Nolan’s style, the whole thing is framed as “ memory box/machine” for Odysseus to unravel as he wakes up from 7 years of oblivion (as the lotus flowers he was fed make people forget) on Calypso’s island, this after ending the 8 year longs Trojan War via his wooden horse ploy, and had many adventures on his attempt to reach his home island of Ithaka.

There his wife, Penelope, has held off contenders to the throne for 20 years via a scheme, and his son, Telemachus, that still believes his father is alive, goes searching for him, while Odysseus himself comes home posing as a vagrant, only to prove his identity and slaughter the disrespectful contenders that leeched off his hospitality.

It does most of the expected stories of the epic, while taking various liberties (especially in the Polyphemus encounter) and arguably omitting a lot, but i’ll say that despite some flaws (the superhero style armours, trying to frame the Greek morality in a certain way, the Hollywood casting), Nolan’s The Odyssey does live up to expectations, delivering a powerful rendition of the poem in a way that calling “epic” does actually seem fit, it has that gravitas and majesty of the old Hollywood, it’s arguably one of Nolan’s best in a while too.

Trollhunter (2010) [REVIEW] | #giantmonstermarch

Aside from the 2022 Troll monster film on Netflix, there’s not much in the way of troll movies outside of the overcovered Troll 2 (and it’s “prequels” and “sequels” also mostly made by Italian directors and actors), even more so if we’re going for proper giant sized trolls, not the tiny ones, or the Dreamworks animated film series based on those old troll toys with the hair, for that matter.

Also, i had this on the backburner for a while, and it also lets me cover of my lest liked genres: the found footage mockumentary.

Directed by André Øvredal, nowadays better known for The Autopsy Of Jane Doe, Scary Stories To Tell In The Dark and The Last Voyage of The Demeter (with an upcoming adaptation of the horror videogame Bendy And The Ink Machine) here at his second feature lenght film, one more close to home for him, as it dwelves with the more well known beast of Norwegian folklore: the troll.

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12 Days Of Dino Dicember #47: The Secret Of The Loch (1934)

Time for an oldie, and no, i don’t mean Gertie The Dinosaur (though eventually we’ll cover it), we’re “only” going back to the 1930’s with The Secret Of The Loch, released in the very same year the infamous “Surgeon’s Photo” depicting an unknown, plesiosaur-esque creature peaking out of the Loch Ness lake in Scotland, which in turn made more rumors and sightings of strange creatures around and about the lake go around, so jumping on the bandwagon was thing back then too.

As the infamous aforementioned photo allegedly depicting “Nessie” wasn’t 100 % proven to be a hoax until decades later, it helped set up what would become the entire thing of cryptozoology, but filmakers didn’t care to wait, gotta strike fast, so the British-based Ealing Studios did, with Milton Rosmer directing this comedy adventure film about the Loch Ness creature.

The first movie ever made about the cryptid in question, which nowadays it’s a rarely used subject, but eventually we had films about it like The Water Horse in 2007 or the more recent b-horror movie The Loch Ness Horror. As in, the one from 2023, not the one from 1981 also called that.

In terms of plot, The Secret Of The Loch is exactly what you’d think it would be, and displays some irony, because it’s about a nutty Scottish professor trying to prove the existence of the Loch Ness monster, in spite of everyone else calling him cuckoo for that, followed by a zany reporter that wants to get the scoop on the story.

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Pygmalion (manga) [REVIEW] | Ore Wa Cyprus Ou Ni Naru!

It’s not exactly encouraging to see the boxset for a 3 volume horror manga called “Pygmalion”… having on the back cover a pig amusement park mascotte drenched in blood.

(yeah, i bought this on a whim without doing any research while visiting my local comic book shop)

Not random per sé, as the story IS about a rampage by mascottes during the National Mascotte Festival in Japan, after a series of weird announcements that trigger the suited creatures to go on a massacre, and Keigo is separated in the following chaos from his younger brother Makoto…

Still, i feel a refresher about the myth of Pygmalion is needed, just in case.

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[EXPRESSO] The Watchers (2024) Live Theathre In The Woods

Mr Twister is once again back on the silver screen, and we’re going back to the woods, this time not to hide while people believing to be the Four Horsemen invade your home and impose an improbabile apocalyptic task to you and your family, or to bother the geezers, but to play the sickest livestream event of them all… to an unknown audience.

… oh wait, this is actually written and directed by Inasha Night Shyamalan, one of M. Night’ (with Trap, directed by him, also releasing in 2024) daughters, here at her directorial debut.

The premise sees a girl, Mina, a 28 yo artist, finding herself lost and isolated inside a huge forest in western Ireland, only for her to take refuge in a cottage and unknownly get trapped in there alongside three other people, to be watched at night by some strange creatures dwelling there.

What’s scariest than improv theather to a fussy audience that might just kill you like a fly if it wishes so, after all? Very little, outside of some cosmic horror older than time itself and such.

While there’s definitely a similar imprint to her father, The Watchers doesn’t rely entirely on a last second last act twist to flip around the narrative, i mean, it’s kinda easy to predict partly what the creatures could be (if nothing else for the location), and they don’t throw out some stupid and-or unsatisfying curveball just for the sake of throwing off the audience, so for best or worst it relies more on actually making you care the lore and the plot being interesting in itself.

Still nothing really special despite the clever hook and good casting for what are just functional characters, but honestly i’d say it’s quite the decent watch, especially for a directorial debut.

The Cyclops (1957) [REVIEW] | #giantmonstermarch

Really scraping the bottom of the Bert I. Gordon barrell with this one, but i did mention it twice before, and – as i said when reviewing 2008’s Cyclops – it’s not like we’re drowning in cyclops movies, at all, and this one has some of that “so bad it’s good” qualities, so for this year’s Giant Monster March’s finale it’s time to end as we begun, meaning to fall face first into a vat of Gouda, groan like a fuzzy giant toddler and “do the cyclops”.

At least it has Lon Chaney Jr. past his prime as a Universal horror star but not yet being reduced to a pathetic, drunken parody of himself (the epitome of that would be him in 1971’s Dracula VS Frankenstein, which nowadays is kind of a cursed movie as it was the undignified end of many actors careers and lives), not yet, here we have him in his post-glory phase were he did a lot of work pretty much any support roles in any kind of movie, mostly westerns, exotic adventure flicks, and horror films once in a while, mostly cheap, low budget, often indipendent productions.

The Cyclops definitely fits the bill, being a Bert I. Gordon film and what that entails, and here a plays a villanous mining expert in search of uranium, part of a posse led by the wife of a pilot that disappeared 3 years ago in the jungles of Mexico, as she still believes he’s alive despite all odds, but guess what, it’s a 50s b-movie, so the mining for radioactive material results in mutated everything, from spiders, lizards, eagles, mice and whatever animal stock footage Bert could superglue together.

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The Flying Luna Clipper (1987) [REVIEW] | Laserdisc Vaporware Of Yore

Think there is little to new variety to the blog, maybe lamenting i don’t review stuff like Walerian Borowczyk’s filmography? Too many occasional ninjas, exploitation flicks, or ninjaxploitation flicks? You’re wrong, but for the sake of it, we’re going into proper obscure, cult classic weird territory with The Flying Luna Clipper, the best intro movie to a game that doesn’t exist.

Imagine an obscure japanese point and click game heavy on surreal imagery of moon faced TV presenters, birdmen and anthro fruits, all natively dubbed in nearly “engrish” fashion, but instead of having to solve inventory puzzles or explore or witness dream scenarios while Osamu Sato tunes play in the background… minus the gameplay aspect.

Because this was never meant to be a game, but a showcase of what the MSX line of 8-bit computers could accomplish, an art film distributed by Sony and directed by Ikko Ono, the graphic designer mostly known for the cover artworks of MSX Mazagine, also having a column in the magazine itself for various illustrations, Ikko’s Gallery, that would later be featured in this film, presented by/as “Ikko’s Theathre”.

And it’s the very definition of forgotten gem, since it did receive various releases on home video in Japan at the time, but it was basically only salvaged from the darkness in 2015 when Matt Hawkins found a copy of its Laserdisc release in a thrift store, and uploaded it to Youtube, and ever since growing its niche popularity, to the point it’s definitely one of the main inspiration for what would later become the “vaporwave” art scene, itself stemming from the music style of the same name.

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[EXPRESSO] Shazam: Fury Of The Gods (2023) | Atlantomachia

Superhero time again, this time of the DC Comics variety, with the sequel to 2019’s Shazam, which introduced new audiences to the magic-powered hero and its origin story, before we got a DC Extended Universe entry related with last year’s spin-off film about Shazam’s nemesis, Black Adam, but honestly i’d rather not discuss of that movie again, what’s the point since their MCU attempt was such a mess that they hired James Gunn as well to reboot the entire thing?

So, talking about Fury Of The Gods, we have our boy Billy Batson and his foster siblings having to face a new menace, the Daughters of Atlas (played by Lucy Liu and Helen Mirren), who have come to reclaim a world ending artifact.

As you can guess, thanks to the new foes we get the explore the lore a bit more, learning of the origin of their powers, the world of Greek gods long gone, which also means it’s a great “excuse” to have a pandemonium style of monsters from said mythology run amok, from cyclops to harpies and manticores, and like the first you can tell this is from a horror director, because a lot of people get straight up killed (or worse) even in the prologue.

I was very pleasantly surprised by the first Shazam movie, and this one it’s just as good, being also a n everincrensigly rare specimen of superhero movie that isn’t plagued by tonal issues, has genuinely funny comedy bits (and the style of writing fits more with the protagonists being young teens), and balances well all of the aforementioned with the more emotional moments, which do feel earnest and not just there because the template says so.

Third act could have been a lil’ shorter, but still, lots of silly but genuine fun.

Babylon’s Fall PS4 [REVIEW-FUNERAL] | Enuma Eloss

After previously touching upon the demo, and especially when the inevitable news of the sunset period before the servers would be shot down, i knew i had get Babylon’s fall, for cheap (which wasn’t an issue), actually play and finish before lights were out.

Other times i’ve put out these “funerary reviews” slightly before a game kicked the bucket, just in case, as both a courtesy and a way to let people that might be interested in the game itself, for whatever reason, so they could – potentially – try it or play it, i mean, Jump Force can still be played as second hand copies are still around.

But Babylon’s Fall didn’t even deserve that, so we’re talking about it the very same days its servers will close forever, 28^th of February 2023, not even 1 year after the game launched on the 3^rd of March 2022, couldn’t even held out for 3 days more, in such a hurry to kill to it Square Enix were.

Then again, that in itself it’s nothing special, the company does this to countless mobile free to play spinoffs of it’s own series, it’s like clockwork for many people to learn through these “end of service announcement” that many mobile games based on franchises owned by Squeenix…. even existed.

But it’s Babylon’s Fall we’re talking about, a game that indeed will live on infamy as a golden grease stain on Platinum Games’ record, when they had the bright idea to work alongside the company that once every 2 year lamented every non-japanese big franchise they owned and handled sold “below expectations”, the company of FF VII NFTs, that also later sold all its western-centric studios and properties for a pittance, all to drown more cash into the latest internet money scam.

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