Autore: Wise Yuri

Don’t expect an early review of Hyrule Warriors: Age Of Calamity

As much as i loved the demo of the game to bits, as much as i frigging love Hyrule Warriors… i’m not gonna review it just after launch. It’s not that i couldn’t, more a combination of “budget constraints” hitting hard this month (as for many, given the circumstances) and… the fact i really got around to get and play Breath Of The Wild in the last months (i held off for years hoping in a GOTY re-release of sorts), and i took my time with it, quite, so much i clearly won’t be able to finish it in time to review Age Of Calamity at the end of november. I just won’t.

Doesn’t help this has been clearly designed as a prequel instead of a spin-off where the story is the usual “portal bonanza” so we can have multiple characters and locations from different installments (and/or different timelines) of a series in Warriors style hack n slash format, and be enjoyed on its own, like Fire Emblem Warriors… even if that did casually drop some spoilers from FE Awakening. Just saying.

And even less reason to pre-order it since this time they didn’t bother to make any sort of Limited Edition with some tat. Boggles the mind why don’t bother to bring the Treasure Box limited edition outside of Japan, they did it before, hell, not even a nerfed version with just the scarf like we got with the first Hyrule Warriors in PAL territories.

So… have fun if you pre-ordered or are gonna get it on launch, the demo i feel it’s telling of the complete base game, we will soon find out!

It’s on my priority list, rest assured, i’m always planning more Warriors and musou games reviews, and something special is coming next month, so… look forward to it!

Musings on Animal Crossing New Horizons “live service” model

So, i was gonna write this editorial this summer, when the July update for the game reintroduced scuba diving (seen before in AC: New Leaf), but i held off on publishing, waiting to see if it the issues i had with the game had any legs… and now i feel they do.

It’s worth noting i bought the game and played it since launch day, and i have spent like 300 hours on AC New Leaf alone, and a lot on the original AC on Gamecube, not to brag (i’m pretty sure there are a lot of way more dedicated AC players), but to give what i’m about to say some confidence. As in, i know what i’m talking about. Continua a leggere “Musings on Animal Crossing New Horizons “live service” model”

Knack II [PS4] [REVIEW] | Knack Me Twice

Developed By: Japan Studio

Players: 1-2

The very existence of this game is big “?”, not only because it came out 4 years after the first Knack, bamboozling the gaming community at large, given how widely hated and reviled the first game and its titular protagonist were. Again, it’s worth remembering that the fist Knack was both a critical and a financial failure, and didn’t do worse in revenue because it was a launch title, so there wasn’t much else to play at the time on the newborne console.

In a way, i can understand why someone at Sony did ultimately greenlit this, as an underdog story for this pitiable franchise (and main characters) would have been nice, and proof you can turn thing around with a sequel; it has been done before, after all, so why can’t Knack be redeemed of his sins?

There are many reasons for that, but let’s start from the beginning, meaning the story.

(review based on a playthrough on Normal, for review purposes)

Continua a leggere “Knack II [PS4] [REVIEW] | Knack Me Twice”

[EXPRESSO] Brahms – The Boy II (2020) | Doll Droppings

I saw The Boy in theathers back then, quite liked it, i knew they made a sequel, by the same director, William Brent Bell, and writer, Stacey Menear, but i kinda forgot about it, until i noticed it’s available as an Amazon Prime Video exclusive, I was.. perplexed by just reading the gist.

The plot follows a young boy, Jude, and his parents, moving into a mansion in the woods to heal, as he and the mother were traumatized by a home invasion incident, and Jude finds a life-sized doll he dubs “Brahms” and becomes creepily attached to.

You could make a sequel to The Boy work, but this movie is a complete cop-out, as it systematically makes sure this is taking place in the same location, set after the events of the first movie… but also wants to be your typical “possessed/evil killer doll” movie, the complete anthesis of The Boy, and make sure you can’t deny or doubt of the doll actually being alive, giving it a backstory that – conveniently – didn’t factor in one iota in the first one.

Even worse, it’s also utter crap in itself, with some of stupidest (and bloodless) “kills” you will ever see in a movie that takes itself so serious, and disappointing, frustrating and stupid “anti-twists”. There’s no intrigue, no mistery, no atmosphere, nothing to it, the good production values and decent acting plain wasted on such dreck. Of course the ending is also a complete cop-out. Of course.

Among stand-alone horror sequels that are way better than the first one, The Boy II is the rare shitty sequel that not only it’s completely unnecessary, misses the point of the previous one, but it’s so garbage it almost retroactively taints the original one, destroying any goodwill gained with it.

[EXPRESSO] Goblin Sword NSWDDL | Good Mobile Sorcery

Mobile games get a bad wrap, and while the industry itself is guilty as hell for it…eventually you get a mobile game that actually wants to be just a game, made for enjoyment instead of retention (followed by the game testing your resolve against your wallet)… which you probably didn’t even knew exist until it gets a PC and/or console port.

Yeah, Goblin Sword is a mobile game that found its way to the Switch’s eShop earlier this year, and despite some asset flips (and similar crap from malingering homunculi) from Steam starting to surface here as well, you can still get proper esposure on it, especially since it’s a 2D retro styled Metroidvania-sidescroller hybrid……lacking the random ass rape in the beginning, now we have to warn people of that due to a certain series with “goblin” in the title.

Then again, there isn’t much of a plot, it’s basically you against an evil wizard that wants the titular “goblin sword”. And… that’s it. Gameplay itself it’s a basic sidescroller with a Metroidvania twist, as in you get power-up needed to reach previously unaccessible areas, but progressing in the levels it’s done in a traditional side-scroller gameplay, go right until you reach the end of the level, with double jump being the fancier ability available, and collect all treasure chests and crystals you can.

Gelato Games (oddly not an indie italian videogame studios, despite the name) did cook up a good sidescroller, with a pleasant but a bit generic art direction, and you can still kinda tell this was made for mobile first, but you’ll soon forget that, thank to good level design, the tight controls, the great difficulty curve, a good amount of content and replayability.

I’m glad this one was ported to Switch, because it deserves more attention.

[EXPRESSO] Lupin III – The First (2019) | LUPIIIIIIIN THE THIRDDDDDD

was supposed to see this one in theathers (if you didn’t know, Lupin III was and still incredibly popular here in Italy, so much a couple of licensed PS2 videogames technically have a PAL release because they were only released in Italy, outside of Japan) back in march, but the lockdown happened, and eventually this one was snapped by Amazon as a Prime Video Exclusive. Smart move, in hindsight, since i was also waiting to see the second MHA movie, which got a new release window…. but cinemas have closed, as we’re in a quasi-lockdown situation.

I’m faffing around because i really don’t have to introduce Lupin III, now, do i?

The plot is fairly typical, concerning a book by the archeologist Bresson, containing a mysterious treasure and encased in a cryptic mechanical contraption, and standing as the only one the original Arsenè Lupin wasn’t able to get. But not only Lupin The Third himself wants to do out his grandfather, a girl named Laetitia and a surviving nazi group are also after the treasure.

It’s what many would call “classic Lupin III”, it’s quite appropriate (even more since it’s dedicated to Lupin III’s author, Monkey Punch, who passed away in April 2019), and it’s still quite a blast, thanks in no small parts to the downright amazing 3D CG animation by TMS Entertaiment and Marza Animation. The animation itself is worth the “ticket” by itself, just a masterful implementation of this style, which is often derided as stiff or a cheap compromise that never satisfies or manages to translate “anime” into CG.

THIS is how you do it.

To draw a comparison with another new film based on an old series also released that year, this is definitely better than City Hunter: Private Eyes, in pretty much everything.

Rise Of The Zombies (2012) [REVIEW] | The Walking Machete

Halloween is technically over, but… one more!

You may think this is another of those movies that trojan horse you into watching them because they have Danny Trejo on the cover…. but not quite. And yes, “Trejobaiting” was (and i guess still is) a thing.

If anything, i’m angry because he’s in it for the first half-hour, then they sloppily kill him off at 35 minutes (and use him in zombie form for 5 more), after letting you believe he might be in the third act. Still, it’s definitely better than stuff like Zombie Hunter, where he there’s for 5, 10 minutes tops, despite being prominent on all promotional material.

Even more surprising, the movie itself isn’t complete shit…. even if it isn’t very good.

Continua a leggere “Rise Of The Zombies (2012) [REVIEW] | The Walking Machete”

[EXPRESSO] Kadaver (2020) | Dinner Theatre

The first norwegian horror film produced by Netflix, and available since October 22.

Directed and written by Jaran Herdal, Kadaver tells of a family living in a cold, barren, post-apocalyptic city, with a full-out nuclear war that might erupt at any moment. One day, a strange man shows up to sell tickets for an event held by Mathias, a local rich man, with promise of food and entertaiment at his mansion.

After dinner is served, Mathias tells the audience that the show is unique, as it takes place all through the mansion, and instructs them to wear masks while they follow the maskeless actors putting up various scenes. In time the spectators are whisked away in secret for true purpose of the party. Which i won’t give away, even if you can take an easy educated guess.

Sadly, it’s an uneven experience.

It has some stylish and morbid imagery, the idea of a trap “dinner theatre” is cool and quite original, but the narrative moves too damn fast even at the beginning, so you’re not really given any valuable time to feel invested in the fate of the family, or to second guess the nature of the odd performance. Doesn’t help that the plot relies on characters doing dumb mistakes most of the time.

On the upside, it’s fairly short and entertaining all the way, the ambiancè is great and there are some good moments, but also middle of the road character (decent acting, at least), and an ending that’s quite… clichè for such an intriguing promise.

It’s a shame, because it released at the perfect time for the themes to resonate with the audience, but it held back by its not small flaws. It’s still a decent horror movie, definitely worth checking out, even just for the original plot.