The Iced Hunter (2018) [REVIEW] | Mozgus Chaser

Welcome to another installment of “no, you never heard of this one before, and i haven’t either”, with The Iced Hunter, an italian horror fantasy action film directed by Davide Cancila and about the titular “iced hunter” (you can tell his namesake was never intended to be translated in english, because it sounds like a fancy non-IBA approved cocktail or a Blooborne collaboration cafè item), a mysterious non-human warrior with fittingly mysterious origins and with memories not of his own, being trailed by the “Domini Lupi” sect, hellbent of getting rid of him at any cost.

Does this feel like a werewolf spiced live action “redo/reinterpretation” of the “Holy Iron Chain Order” arc in Berserk?

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Extinction PS4 [REVIEW] | Mockbust On Titan

Remember this one? Most likely not, i don’t blame you if you didn’t even out this was out when it released in 2018, at least until it entered – deservedly so – that year’s “Top 10 Worst Games” list, only to immediatly fade into the miasma of obscurity, where it should really remain.

But since i like raising the dead for a laugh and try to make people remember the lessons of old, in the hope there will be something to learn and so avoid wasting money on stuff that was launched on the market to no fanfare. And if it nothing else, it’s fun to reignite some old dumpster fires.

In the case of Extinction, the main takeaway is that you shouldn’t be afraid of anything you wanna put out on the market, not because you should dump whatever garbage you want, but because it’s hard to say you shouldn’t do what you want, as games like these somehow managed not only to get released, but to get the full boxed retail and “multiple tiers editions” treatment.

Be bold, ye children of the Yellow Turbans, i guess this is the takeway. Don’t be garbage.

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Kirby Star Allies NSWITCH [REVIEW] | Brainwashing Stars

While we wait for the first 3D Kirby game (affectionately dubbed “The Last Of Kirby” by me of now) to launch next year, let’s talk about the last main installment in the series, 2018’s Kirby Star Allies.

The Kirby series is arguably the most traditional of Nintendo’s portfolio.

Kirby is Kirby, and the developer, Hal Laboratory, believe that Kirby is Kirby because it’s simple, it’s traditional, and it’s accessible, especially regarding the main series and it’s main genre, platformer. We have seen interesting spin on the formula with Kirby Mass Attack, Canvas Curse and it’s Wii U sequel, Kirby even had small rhythm spin-off, an entire spin-off dedicated to fighting, a pinball spin-off, and even a racing game. Each, even a “battle royale”. Kinda.

But Kirby is mostly a series of platforming that are charming as they are incredibly traditional and fairly easy for experienced players, but fun, wholesome and entertaining regardless, in fairly typical Nintendo fashion, so the formula is the same each main installment, but there are new systems layered on top of the basics.

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Antlers missed and the 500th+ posts celebratory post & extra ramble

So, yeah, due to the movie Antlers having a surprising – ok, not that surprising – shortlived run in theathers here and being released in a very busy week, i missed it completely, so who knows when it will arrive on VOD here, i’ll just wait for when it releases on home video, most likely wil import it from the UK.

Meaning that the EXPRESSO review of Antlers i planned just won’t happen at all. Pity.

But we did reach the 500th posts total more than a week ago, so bathe in the celebratory anime dance gif, busting out and oldie but goldie.

Not looking forward to that Netflix’s live action Cowboy Bebop adaptation, just putting that out, but i feel like i have to say something about, so i’ll give it a watch and a full review. At least it not an outlandish proposal as the darn live-action One Piece, i saw that post and the partial cast reveal, the cast looks fine, honestly, just can’t imagine that series working in any satisfying or acceptable way with real actors, doesn’t matter how much money they put into the CG.

I guess we didn’t learn the most important lesson of Jump Force (which btw Namco Bandai it’s gonna stop selling – DLCs included – the coming February 2022, so if you want to own it for collection purposes, get it now): realistic redraws of anime characters from One Piece can be quite the terryfing looking human simulacra.

Watch Kill Me Baby, that’s the lesson today kids.

[EXPRESSO] Eternals (2021) | Creators – The Past USA

I’m tired. The fatigue is back, and we have barely started with “Phase 4”.

Maybe it was inevitable, but we’re without a doubt at the point where the benefits of having this MCU thing in place don’t properly outweight the drawbacks, more a creative cage than anything.

And i will say this: at least Shang-Chi had a story with a conclusion, this one leans too much into being more of a set up to a sequel than its own thing.

This time we have the titular Eternals, basically immortal alien gods that came to Earth 7000 years ago but conveniently were told not to interfere with any conflicts that didn’t involve the “Deviants”, the Eternals’ evil – and of course – monstrous looking ancenstral counterparts.

And through social media we learned of a certain spoiler, one that sounded like a fake pre-emptive shitpost to create buzz for a Marvel license most people didn’t really knew well. It wasn’t.

Chloe Zhao of Nomadland fame directs and writes, the cast its great, the usual Marvel tiny concessions to appear diverse and inclusive more than they actually are… there as usual, same for the various issues stemming from the assembly line formula that this one tries a bit to shake off.

The big problem is the characters, as they don’t have any chemistry, despite being built as a “family” ensemble that have known each other for literally thousands of years… they seem to have just met on the set, with some top billed actors sleepwalking it big time, not helped by the unfocused narration, huge exposition loads, and the script just kinda assuming i know and already care about these characters that are kinda obscure for most viewers. Me included.

Overall, Eternals it’s alright, at least better and more interesting than Shang Chi.

Hyrule Warriors: Age Of Calamity – Expansion Pass PART 2 [REVIEW]

The final piece of Age Of Calamity DLC is here, and as usual i’m giddy at the prospect of more good musou content, as a remainder Omega Force can actually deliver when it cares (or when it feels it has to).

And this second (and final) piece of the game’s Expansion/Season Pass was easily the more appetizing to look forward, as it would add brand new story stages, alongside new abilities for existing characters, and new playable characters.

Regarding the latter, it was later revealed we would be getting Pruna and Rovely as a two-in-one playable warrior, and another one not revealed, nor hinted at in any way.

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Medievil PS4 [REVIEW] | Re-re-remaking The Past

While not what you would call a system seller, if you ask anyone growing up in the 90s, Medievil will probably come up in the discussion, so ingrained this little, beloved series of action platformers in the Playstation brand and overall legacy, despite remaining a cult/nostalgia sensation.

Though, when i say series, i mean the PS1 original (still available as digital PS1 Classic release on PS3 and Vita), Medievil 2 exists, but it’s mostly forgotten by the internet hivemind/consciousness, and this isn’t even the first remake of Medievil, as there’s a PSP port, Medievil Resurrection, with upgraded graphics that also changes some of the story, adds new features and remove others.

This is more of a remaster than an actual remake, a complete technical re-built but with minimal changes to gameplay and controls, very few modern concessions, all in order to offer a faithful recreation, for best or worst. Because as much as i like Medievil, this remaster/remake also works as an interesting litmus test of where bringing back the 90s, and – expanding the question – appealing to the nostalgia market eventually leads.

At least without going into the unholy effects of meming fuckin Bubsy (and Shaq Fu) unto life again, we’ll visit these forsaken lands of excrement and death, but not today.

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Drake Of The 99 Dragons STEAM [REVIEW] | Back catalogue horrors

Yeah, i don’t need to introduce this one, given his legendary bad game status as one of the worst ones ever on the original X-Box, etc.

I didn’t consider why i never heard of it here in “the Boot”, but i soon realized Majesco never bothered to even give this one an european release (same as the infamous Aquaman: Battle For Atlantis for Gamecube, we European were spared that one). At least on X-Box, it was released on PC in 2004 in Europe as well, i can attest because i found a PC physical copy of this on a flea market for a buck.

Eventually, in 2018, it was re-released on Steam for 6,99 € (or regional equivalent), with some improvements and bugs fixed in an attempt to “un-shit” the game a bit and tempt gaming masochists like me who never played the game themselves. It worked.

And it’s the season for horrors, so strap in, there’s a lot of rotten guts here to morbously examine and fiddle with.

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Alice: Otherlands (2015) [REVIEW] | Uncertain Fate Kickstarted

While Alice Asylum (as said in the review of Madness Returns) is now officially in the pre-production stage of development, the path to this potential third game in the series hasn’t been a walk in the park for anyone involved, and it was bound to be full of bumps and by-products because a third game was never certain, so it makes sense that American Mc Gee tried to bring closure to his series back in 2015, with the project known as “Alice Otherlands”, made of artworks and two short animated films produced by Spicy Horse, funded via Kickstarter, as the owner of the Mc Gee’sAlice IP itself, EA, wasn’t interested in funding a third game, at all, so they had to pivot the project.

Fuck EA, btw. Just in case you needed more incentives to do so. You didn’t.

What came out of it where – mostly – the two aforementioned short films, Leviathan – A Journey Through Jules Verne’s Mind and A Night At The Opera.

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[EXPRESSO] Castlevania: Grimoire Of Souls iOS | Rise from your Konami grave

Another review i wasn’t expecting to make anymore, since this mobile Castlevania title was made available only in Australia (outside of the usual asian territories) before getting removed after only one year. Until it was recently resurrected as an exclusive Apple Arcade title, so this version is free of microtransactions bullshit seen in the original free to play release.

It also “means” i used the free trial period to play it and see if it’s any good.

Plot see Alucard travel through various magic books (the titular “grimoires”) regarding all past events and stories of the Castlevania games, all to subdue the dark power that has grown in them and keep them under control. An excuse as any to have all the characters from the series together.

Gameplay it’s an actual sidescroller 2D Castlevania that really benefits from playing it with a gamepad (and now it’s easy as pie to connect a PS4 or X-Box One controller to iOS devices), but it’s fairly playable even with the touch controls, and know what?

It ain’t bad.

The removal of microtransactions is compensated by handing out the “premium currency” liberally, but they didn’t change anything else, so it’s clear this was originally designed as a mobile free-to-play game, with multiple currencies and resources, gacha for weapons and items, and having to keep upgrading the characters’ “power levels”.

It’s not a bad game per se, it’s just not very good either, it starts promising enough but the level designs and enemies take a while to ramp up, and it hindering from being better by mobile design trappings, so it values content more than the quality and favors the usual “upgrading shit” as a way to resolve hurdles over actual skill.

Still, it’s just ok, nothing that bad to be worth shutting it down.